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lucaluca
09-27-2015, 05:00 AM
hello,

basically i wanted to be a girl since i am 4 years old. since i am 12 i know what trans means and since then i knew i was. but still, with 27, i struggle with the decision to transition! because, there are times when i feel ok with beeing a man and there are times where i feel the urge to transition right now.
when i feel alright with beeing a guy, i still think about beeing a woman every day. i just cope it better. i am okay with beeing a guy (not happy, but okay) and therefore i think that there is no need of transition, and i should not go through this when i am okay with beeing a guy. but then after 3-6 weeks i am sooo desperate and the only thing i can think of is that i have to do something about my situation.

are you familiar with these cycles?

hannah

karenpayneoregon
09-28-2015, 05:08 PM
I am 59, for much of my life I suppressed the need to be female but the suppression never lasted, sometimes I went six months sometimes a year but in the end the female won and now post-op. There are many like me, go to extremes and be macho macho, over the top while others can't deal with it that way. My female side brust throw at 55 and there was no turning back.

I always recommend seeing a therapist who understands trans people before making any decisions.

lucaluca
09-29-2015, 03:50 AM
i am seeing a therapist. i guess it is normal to supress the feelings we have and sometimes to compensate it by acting very manly.
i am just scared that i misinterpret my feeling and that it would be the wrong decision to transition, although i know that i want to and maybe have to

Kaitlyn Michele
09-29-2015, 06:33 AM
you will likely keep struggling...you sound like your head is on straight and you are in therapy....keep challenging yourself in how you talk to yourself...you are doing great

transition is brutal but hugely empowering... you have lots of time but at 27 you are at an excellent age to change your life and have the world in front of you...

if you feel you can live a male life you should, sounds simple !!!! LOL.....

Badtranny
09-29-2015, 01:31 PM
again, you need to get out of your head and into the world.

This constant merry-go-round of feelings is worse than not productive. It's exhausting and it teaches you nothing.

You are either on the transition path or you're not and you will never know if you don't get out there and live a little. Find friends to laugh and share with. Find yourself.

Frances
09-29-2015, 04:59 PM
I struggled with it all my life. I saw doctors at 15, 28, and 34 in the hope of getting cured. At 39, I went back to get to bottom of it, and eventually transition in my early 40's. It's matter of intensity. As long as I could cope with it, I could not go through it. At 39, I had no time left without doing something about it.

I wish I had done it earlier; it would have been much cheaper. But the itensity was not such that I had no choice in the matter.

STACY B
09-29-2015, 05:06 PM
Boy ol Boy do I ever know what you mean,,lol The constant back and forth over and over and it's just a cycle that never seems to end. In a perfect world we could choose a side and I think Transition does that? I said I think,, But don't take my word for it for sure,, I ain't no Doctor ,, Hell I can't even help myself,, Hell as a matter of fact I was going to ask yall the same thing once before. Oh well ,, Nice thread anyway,, Things aren't always what they seem,, Maybe I will just shut up and go to the Movie's ,,,

Inna
09-29-2015, 06:00 PM
Transition is the means to being in the world.
We all start out with this..."I am obedient because I fear consequence"
If the pain within overpowers pain of submission, this happens: "I am true regardless and despite of consequence"

The pain of living is an inescapable factor of life, however, truth of self allows for acceptance within oneself but not necessarily acceptance within the world.