Looking for the right venue to CD

[Riki223]

Hello All, First post here.
I have been an at home, closet CD for as long as I can remember. My wife is aware and is supportive of this. I think she does an awesome job to try to understand my struggles with enjoying this so much, while dealing with society not really fully accepting of this lifestyle yet. We both also worry a great deal about how our 3 kids, 17, 19 & 26 and other family members, parents, brothers, sisters etc would take the news. You combine that with the potential effects of our professional lives and it makes it difficult to really take it outside the house. I am sure these are struggles that many if not most everyone here has dealt with at one time or another.
So now after many years of hiding it, and the kids now mostly out of the house the subject has been one that my wife and I have talked about more freely. In some of the conversations of late we have talked about the possibility of doing something outside the house such as a weekend away or something of that nature. But off course away from our local to try to avoid any uncomfortable situations like being found out by friends, family or co-workers.
So that takes me back to the title of this post. We live in New England and while travel distance is never an issue, we were hoping to try to do something in driving distance. So my question is can anyone recommend a place where a semi passable ( with a little help) cd can go with his wife to maybe have dinner and see a show or something like that. Looking for something low key where we can just enjoy the moment and not get wrapped up in the crazy world of night clubs, dance parties, and other late night insanities.
I have never done this before so as you all know it is al little nerve racking to take this step, so low key would be best. We are not typically the loud ones or the big drinkers and shot doers. We just like fairly simple things, good food, good theater, good laughs, and are hoping to maybe find one more way to enjoy the life that my wife and I are so blessed to have.

Any insight, help, tips etc would be most greatly appreciated.

Thanks Much in Advance for any help offered.

Riki

[Jenniferathome]

Riki, I can't help with destinations in your area but I wanted to let you know that main stream is the way to go. You don't need gay bars to be out. Museums, shopping malls, movies, dining is all possible. Being with your wife will help. I don't pass. None of us do. Just know that you will attract attention or looks, but don't worry about that. Smile and have fun.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Depending on exactly where in "New England" you are, can anybody chime in with suggestions for Montreal or New York?

[Riki223]

Southern Coastal New England if that Helps, the only place I have heard of and understand is " friendly" is Provincetown MA, But whether there are specific places there good for this I do not know. Never actually been there.

[Lorileah]

I dunno a nice bed and breakfast in Vermont? A train ride through New Hampshire to see the trees? Dinner in Boston and a hotel? Maybe a play in NYC? It just takes a little research.

Here's what I did https://www.google.com/search?q=LGBT+friendly+bed+and+breakfast+New+Engla nd&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

[audreyinalbany]

Northampton Ma is pretty friendly. I suspect, although I don't have first hand knowledge, that Burlington is also pretty cd friendly. If you want to drive a few more hours, you can't go wrong with New Hope/Doylestown Pa.

[Adriana Moretti]

Here in the North East we are spoiled and have some of the greatest places, parties and events in the world for our community.

For the boston area check with Glamour Boutique, they have a halloween party coming up.

CT is LOADED, there is Tiffs party at Trevi Lounge Bridgeport , and Diva Social ,GNO in New Haven....as stated...you gotta do your research....my opinion?? Make it a weekend and hit a Raven event in PA you get the best of everything, dancing, dinner, meet people etc next one is in like 3 weeks....but here is a list of others.

Paradoxically, as big as New York City is there are less and less "dedicated" places where someone that identifies as trans or genderqueer can socialize. Many venues and parties in NYC avoid "niche" events such as closed TG-only parties because they attract fewer guests. Many venues would prefer a huge crowd enticed by cheap drink specials, or bottle service, or sports on huge flatscreens, instead of hosting live music, live entertainment, dancing, or other unique themes, interesting guests, or subcultures.

Also, places change at the drop of a hat. Bars open and close overnight, venues change management and ownership all the time. That hot new party may not be around after even a week!

Because of these ever-changing factors, this guide is NOT intended to be an exhaustive list.

My advice? Take these listings with a grain of salt, NOT as gospel, and don't be offended if your favorite girls night out isn't included.

Also note that the listings aren't all TG-only events. Most are not. The places or parties that I feel comfortable attending may not have the same "vibe" to others so one's experience or opinion of a place - even one I deem "TG friendly" or "Tiffany Approved" - may vary.

I'm genderqueer and I most align with the M2F experience. So while these selections are filtered through that personal experience, I know that most events listed here are friendly and inclusive of not only TG, but any and every "flavor" of gender identity!

FIRST THINGS FIRST:

• NEXT MAGAZINE targets gay/lesbian listings and nightlife so use your judgment and understand that most "TG" events will mean "drag shows." But there are always parties listed here, in day-by-day "Next Week" list: http://www.nextmagazine.com/NextWeek.

• TIME OUT NEW YORK online listings is a great place to start. Especially since they have gay/lesbian listings separate and they recommend specific parties and clubs! http://www.timeout.com/newyork/gay-lesbian

• Definitely DO YOUR RESEARCH. Most of listed events or venues are on Yelp or Facebook. So don't stop with this guide! Always check updated info (websites, schedules, location, etc) before you head out for the night. You don't want to show up to a party that has moved, or to a club that has closed!

GEOGRAPHY for those of you "freelancing"

• The West Village (West of 7th Avenue in and around Christopher Street) and the Chelsea areas of NYC (8th Avenue between 14th and 23rd Streets especially) are good places to mingle if you have no specific plans. Most restaurants and bars in these areas are GLBT-owned or operated, so gender identity of all shades in the spectrum is more common.

TG PARTIES/RESOURCES YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW ABOUT:

• Tiffany Leigh's GORGEOUS at Trevi Lounge! If you're reading this,then chances are you've heard of GORGEOUS. It's a NEW monthly TG/CD party in Fairfield, CT. Those of you that remember my Triangles parties can think of it as a reincarnation of that event!

The Trevi Lounge in Fairfield, CT is only an hour from Manhattan and only seconds off I-95. These parties are open to ALL, and dates are confirmed for the rest of 2015:

September 19, 2015 = Back to School!
October 17, 2015 = TG Halloween Ball + Costume Contest!
November 14, 2015 = Kinky Boots!
December 12, 2015 – A Tribute to Bettie Page!

The official Facebook invite for the launch of GORGEOUS is n facebook

• AMANDA'S HIDE-A-WAY AT THE PL LOUNGE - Amanda Lay hosts a fun party every Saturday in HACKENSACK, NJ not far from Teterboro Airport. You can also change into/out of drag at the club, which is convenient.

• Karen at FEMMEFEVER has provided a long-time TG social resource in the Long Island/tri-state area. She has hosted TG events and offered TG services (makeovers, discussion groups) for years now! For all Femmefever related information, please visit her website = http://femmefever.com/

• Ina's Silver Swan has REOPENED her weekly party in 2015!

Ina's (formerly the "Silver Swan" parties)
Saturday nights
11PM-4AM
One Star Bar
147 West 24th Street (bet. 6th and 7th Aves)

• Jane Reynolds hosts TG weekend-long events at THE RAVEN, a TG friendly club in New Hope, PA. [This was the event that Jennifer Bryant pioneered and that has been running for 4-5 years now!

The Raven parties are every other month and not only do they feature a glorious Saturday night TG party but encompass an entire weekend's worth of TG social events and activities - dinner and drinks on Friday night, a Starbucks meetup and daytime shopping on Saturday, a "red carpet" photo shoot experience before Saturday's party, and Sunday brunch! Think of them as a mini-TG conference six times a year for a fraction of the cost!

For more information you should join The Raven party's official Meetup group at this link = http://www.meetup.com/Safe-Haven-For-Transgenders/

• Antoinette Dickinson hosts a fantastic & friendly meetup on the 1st Friday each month at DIAMONZ NITE CLUB in Bethlehem, PA (only 80 miles from NYC and right up the road from The Raven in New Hope).

Diamonz boasts two levels including a lounge/bar upstairs, Karaoke lounge, and a dancefloor downstairs with live DJ's and frequent drag shows. Ladies are encouraged to mix and mingle at 9P for drinks upstairs, then adjourn for karaoke fun starting at 10PM.

For more infor join the Mid Atlantic Transperience Community Meetup group = http://www.meetup.com/Mid-Atlantic-Trans-perienceCommunity OR the TGirls United Meetup group (based out of Philadelphia, PA) = http://www.meetup.com/patgirls

I've been to Diamonz and it's a terrific TG-friendly space.

• Rita Petite hosts a weekly TG MEETUP AT THE STONEWALL INN every Thursday night starting at 7PM. For more info and to join the group, go here = http://www.meetup.com/NYC-Area-TG-Meetup-Group/

DINNER, DRINKS, & DRAG!

If you want to grab dinner, obviously go where you feel most comfortable and safe. Also - keep in mind that you should dress appropriately depending on the type of place you're dining at.

• My favorite restaurant en femme is EAST OF EIGHTH. It has long been a TG-friendly venue. Back in the day it even used to host a TG-night. It's perfect for casual drinks, casual dinner, party "pregaming," or a more formal date. Two floors, outdoor garden patio, and a street-level bar where you can get full menu service.

I often have had dates/dinner/drinks at East of Eighth with zero problems. It's my preferred dinner destination when I am out and about in NYC en femme! The food is delicious and for that part of town, it's very inexpensive.

More info here = http://eastofeighthny.com/

• BOOTS AND SADDLE is a legendary bar in the West Village open 7 days a week and featuring over 20 drag performers weekly! From happy hours to late-night, there are drag shows or drag-themed events every night of the week. They are at 100A 7th Avenue South, NYC (and note that this is a NEW address as of June 2015)!
Check out their website for a day-by-day schedule of events, hosts, and performers = http://bootsandsaddlenyc.com/

• LIPS NYC is the premiere drag dining experience in Manhattan. LIPS is in the heart of midtown (near Bloomingdales) with a huge bar and dedicated stage for live shows. It's a great place to get dinner or "pre-game" before a night out!

Their Sunday brunches usually sell out and are a lot of fun. Make reservations if going on weekends. And know that prices skew higher than a "normal" dinner. Drink prices can be steep but most gals go for the atmosphere. Very fun with a group! http://www.lipsnyc.com/

• THIS 'N THAT (TNT for short) is a fun and friendly bar in the heart of Williamsburg (off the Bedford L train stop). They host several happy hour drag nights during the week, including Lilith LeFae's TOMFOOLERY on Tuesday nights. It's a huge long space with a casual, "neighborhood" bar look and feel. Their address: 108 N. 6th Street (between Berry & Whyte Streets).

DRAG BRUNCH! [YES, IT'S TOTALLY A THING]

Who said your girls night out ever has to end? NYC hosts various hi-octane "party" brunches throughout the city - with live DJ's, live entertainment... and some of these best brunches feature drag performers and live performances!

KTCHN RESTAURANT and THE HAUS OF MIMOSA host a drag brunch show every Sunday from 12P-3P. KTCHN is in the heart of Hell's Kitchen steps away from Times Square at 508 West 42nd Street. See the link for details = http://ktchnnyc.com/

BOOTS & SADDLE DRAG LOUNGE hosts BOTTOMS UP BRUNCH starting 12 noon every Sunday. And stay all day for happy hour drag performances after you eat!

• INTERMEZZO hosts ELECTRO BRUNCH every Saturday and Sunday with various hostesses performing over club music and mimosas. They are in the heart of Chelsea at 202 8th Avenue (between 20th and 21st Streets) in Manhattan. Check their website for more info and details = = http://intermezzony.com/

• Right around the corner at TELLO'S is DRAG BRUNCH hosted by the legendary Barbara Herr! All summer long on Sundays. Tello's is located in Chelsea at 198 8th Avenue (at 20th Street) in Manhattan. Click the link for more info = http://tellosnyc.com/drag-brunch/

DRAG SHOWS OR DRAG-FRIENDLY NIGHTS:

• My good friend Luscious Lola hosts Sunday Bingo Show at GINGER'S BAR every other Sunday night starting at 7:30PM. Check Ginger's Bar page for the schedule. Ginger's is a neighborhood bar in the heart of Park Slope, Brooklyn and is TG-friendly every night of the week! Ginger's Bar

• SWITCH N PLAY is a New York-based, queer-positive drag alliance (kings & queens) that hosts a weekly late night drag show called STACHES & STILETTOS every Friday night at HENRIETTA HUDSON in the West Village, as well as STACHES & LASHES the 4th Saturday of every month at Branded Saloon in Brooklyn.

For their entire schedule, visit their website = http://www.switchnplay.com/schedule.html

• BATHSALTS is a twisted underground drag show in Brooklyn, at Don Pedro's. Performances run from 12 midnight until last call

• HARDWARE BAR is in Hell's Kitchen and hosts drag-themed several nights a week! Tina Burner hosts Trainwreck Tuesdays. On Thursday nights at 11P the legendary nightlife legend Shequida stars in The Shequida Show. Friday night is the Pop It Up dance party hosted by Bootsie LeFaris.

More info/schedule is here = http://hardware-bar.com/

• BARRACUDA LOUNGE is a cozy and friendly bar/lounge in Chelsea. It's perfect for happy hour drinks, a nightcap, and everything in between. It also hosts several drag events weekly. On Monday nights, Bob the Drag Queen hosts a midnight show. Every Wednesday night Tina Burner and Dallas co-host the "Dallas and Tina" show. "Star Search" is an amateur talent show every Thursday night, also hosted by Tina Burner.

It's around the corner from East of Eighth so if you wanted to pop in for a drink and check it out it makes a good double bill.

• THERAPY - this is a more upscale lounge atmosphere near the Theater District/Hell's Kitchen. Catch a Monday night drag show with Sherry Vine and Epiphany called "Bipolar." Or watch the catfight as Pixie Aventura and Mimi Imfurst co-host "Anger Management" on Wednesday nights.

More info is here = http://www.therapy-nyc.com/rxevents.html

• MONSTER BAR is two bars in one. Upstairs is a piano bar and normal bar seating, versus downstairs in the basement which is a dark clubby dance area and bar. The upstairs bar/piano bar area is perfect any night of the week for a quick drink or nightcap. Currently they host Sabor Latino every Monday night at 10PM, which is a Latina-themed drag show. For more info go to http://www.manhattan-monster.com/

• The STONEWALL INN is just across Sheridan Square from MONSTER, and they usually host drag- or TG-friendly events each week. Rita Petite's weekly TG meetup is on Thursday nights there. And it's also the home of the monthy Homo Erectus "boylesque" show. Again, it is not always automatic that there will be a drag show on weekends, but if you pop in there on a Saturday night (especially the upstairs area), there is often a show, and regardless it's usually packed and festive and rowdy, but a friendly place for a drink. Check out their site for more info: http://www.thestonewallinnnyc.com/

• Baby Grand is a cute & cozy live karaoke bar - and by "cozy" it doesn't look to fit more than maybe 30 guests! More info on the club = http://www.babygrandnyc.com

MAINSTREAM MIXED PARTIES:

• MICHAEL T is a DJ, host, singer, and event promoter that works or DJ's at several venues weekly. He has long been a supporter and friend to the TG community. Many of the parties I host in NYC are organized by Michael T.

Overall any of the events that Michael T works as DJ or host are TG-friendly by default. He's always thrilled to see us at his shows or parties!
His big events (ones I ALWAYS attend) are the OH! YOU PRETTY THINGS parties. These are Bowie-inspired, "old school" nights of live rock-and-roll, rock opera, glam, DJ's, burlesque, special guests, and dancing. If you want a taste of what NYC was like in its "heyday" then THIS is the party for you.

OYPT is usually held Sunday nights. Whenever there is another installment, I will share it with you!

In the meantime stay current with them on the FB page

• TWIG THE WONDERKID is the other party host/DJ you should know about. His parties are always mixed and TG-friendly. Some of the events listed here are his own, but his Facebook page is also a great way to keep up with anything he's involved with

• ROCK N' ROLL BINGO is a new weekly Tuesday party at Pinks (242 East 10th Street, East Village). It's a traditional bingo format with Rock'n'Roll trivia. Prizes range from music memorabilia to free food & drinks, PLUS all night there's a 2 for 1 Classic Burgers "happy hour!"
More info via Pinks webpage = http://pinks.nyc

• DISCO DOWN is another Twig the Wonderkid party held every Wednesday night at the Delancey in the Lower East Side. It's a normal younger crowd dance party, is free, and has an open vodka bar for one hour as a special. You can find more info on DD's Facebook page = https://www.facebook.com/discodownnyc

• GLAMDAMMIT is a party in Williamsburg that happens the first Saturday of every month. Also hosted by Twig the Wonderkid, it's a rock-and-roll themed party with live music, DJ, and a mixed friendly crowd. Twig is a friend to the TG community, so is always happy to see us at his parties!

• BEAUTY BAR SATURDAYS is on 14th Street in the East Village. Each Saturday night Michael T, Twig, and Jeremy Alisauskas DJ in the back room. It's a normal "mainstream" open party that's packed on weekends and is always friendly and fun. A great place to end your night! Location and info here = http://thebeautybar.com/New_York/

• Friday Happy Hour at BOWERY ELECTRIC - This free happy hour is in the upstairs bar of Bowery Electric and is a great place to kick off your weekend in the city! From 5P-10P Mary Raffaele is behind the bar with a DJ spinning 80's, new wave, punk, and rock. It starts right after work at 5P and it's a perfect "pregame" for Friday nights.

BURLESQUE SHOWS:

I attend lots of burlesque shows every month in NYC - it's a growing community in NYC and there are shows every night of the week. Many are inexpensive, most feature at least 4-6 performers and go-go dancing, and in my experience they are all TG-friendly nights out!

These are regular weekly/monthly shows I've personally attended and would highly recommend for TG-friendly nightlife options!

VICTROLA BURLESQUE
9P every Tuesday night at Hill & Dale
115 Allen Street (bet. Delancey & Rivington Streets)


HOTSY TOTSY BURLESQUE
8P every 3rd Tuesday at Slipper Room; $10
167 Orchard Street (at Stanton)

NURSE BETTIE
Show 10P every Wednesday; FREE
AND
Show 10P every Thursday; FREE
106 Norfolk Street


BRICK CITY BURLESQUE (Newark, NJ)
3 shows every Thursday night at 10:30, 11:30, 12:30
FREE admission (plus 2-drink minimum)
Hell's Kitchen Lounge
150 Lafayette Street
Newark, NJ 07105

HOMO ERECTUS BOYLESQUE
9P every 3rd Thursday at Stonewall Inn; $10 (plus 2-drink minimum)
53 Christopher Street

ROOM 69 BURLESQUE at HOTEL CHANTELLE
Every Friday at 9PM
92 Ludlow Street (at Delancey Street)

BURLESQUE BY THE BEACH (Coney Island)
Various shows; most are on Friday/Saturday nights.
See schedule for details = http://www.coneyisland.com/calendar

HYPERGENDER BURLESQUE
8PM 1st Saturday of every month at WOW Cafe Theater ($15 or $10 via mailing list)
59-61 East 4th Street
http://www.hypergender.com/

BURLESQUE BELOW THE BRIDGES
8:30P-12A Every Saturday night at The Bridges ($15-$35 tickets depending on seating/dinner)
66 Water Street, Brooklyn, NY (Dumbo, near the Manhattan Bridge)


THE SLIPPER ROOM (various shows)
12 midnight; Fridays & Saturdays at The Slipper Room; $15
167 Orchard Street (at Stanton)
http://www.slipperroom.com/calendar/

GAY OR LESBIAN-CENTRIC PARTIES:

These parties are open to everyone, but be aware that the crowds are primarily gay/lesbian:

• HOT RABBIT convenes every Friday night at Monster Bar in the West Village and is a packed, mixed and FREE party

• TOUCH TUESDAYS is a new party in Williamsburg at a new gay bar called Lovegun. It's co-sponsored by Hot Rabbit (see above) and Boy Wonder Events, and is a free, fun dance party with drink specials and scores of guest DJ's each week! Lovegun is at 617 Grand Street in Brooklyn (aka the 2nd stop on the L-train at Lorimer Street).


• GirlNation hosts an upscale ladies night in midtown Manhattan - a sexy, urban "L-Word" crowd! Add them on Facebook
TS PARTIES (with a caveat!):

There are several TG parties in NYC during the week Monday-Saturday hosted by Sandy Michelle, Sunny Delight, & Allanah Starr. Most require a $20 cover minimum for ladies (even TG's) and higher cover prices for men, and they usually showcase TG go-go dancers, TG private dances/VIP rooms, and "celebrity" transsexual hosts or guests as seen on various websites or in TG adult films.

So these are TG-specific parties... but know that but the crowd and clientele is usually less mixed. And also know that these nights vary in attendance each week/night. By far they are the most expensive TG-specific options anywhere in Manhattan.

If you do attend, be hypervigilant of your surroundings and definitely call in advance before going out to insure they haven't moved nights or venues! These nights frequently change locations, and may close earlier than advertised.

The best way to keep up with where and when these parties take place is to add yourself to the following Facebook groups:

Sandy Michelle's TS Events Group
Sandy Michelle's TS Event Calendar = http://www.tsnightlife.com/events/

NY TS Party Events Group

As of the last update to this guide (date at the top), here are current venues and nights for these TS parties.

• Mondays and Wednesdays at Pangea Lounge - 178 2nd Avenue bet. 11th & 12th Streets in the East Village. Parties are from 11P-4A.

• Sexy Tuesdays at Evolve Lounge - 221 East 58th (between 2nd & 3rd Aves).

• Fridays: TS Playground is another weekly Friday party at Evolve Lounge - 221 East 58th (between 2nd & 3rd Aves).

• Saturdays: TrannyQuest at Pangea Lounge - 178 2nd Avenue bet. 11th & 12th Streets in the East Village. Parties are from 11P-4A.

[docrobbysherry]

Riki, u may not like this suggestion but if u wish to visit a venue with other T's? Leave your SO at home. Then, u only have worry about your own feelings and not hers.:thumbsup:

I'm also a closet dresser and hate loud club/bars. And, i don't drink much or dance in drab. But, all dressed up and with 5" spike heels? Everything changes for this 70+ y/o! I love clubbing with other girls. Just put in ear plugs, have a drink or 2, and I can dance all nite!

Jenn can have dressing to blend in Denny's, Starbuck's, or Macy's. Not my thing. I enjoy dressing hot and hate worrying about why the vanillas r staring at me!:doh:

I dress at home or T friendly events, period. If I lived near u, Adriana? I'd try to visit everyone of those venues u listed! Thank u so much for doing that!:battingeyelashes:

[Rachelakld]

My recommendation, things are generally quiet between 6 am and 11 am most days (breakfast, Brunch, walk around the mall, garden centre etc)
On the other hand, dinner & movies after dark, again generally quiet Monday & Tuesday nights.
Museum and art galleries - normally for the frail older people and it's hard to be abusive to some CD/TS if you use a zimmer frame and on a pace maker, so pretty safe there also :)

[Persephone]

Hi Riki! Welcome!

I don't live in your area so I really don't know, but I though Providence, RI was supposed to be a pretty friendly town.

I'm a mainstream kinda gal, so although I know Docrobbysherry and enjoy her company, I go with Lorileah and Jenniferathome -- Dinner and theater in New York, or a visit to some of the great museums in your area. Old Sturbridge Village and Mystic Seaport come to mind. Maybe a sightseeing trip to Boston or around New York.

Do dress to fit the setting. And as much as you may enjoy heels, they feel very differet outside of the house, cobblestones and drainage grates turn into real hazards!

Being out-and-about with your spouse is absolutely The Best! But if you run into someone you know they may not recognize you but they may recognize her, so have a codeword that gives you a chance to split up with the understanding that you will meet in a particular place. That way even if you're seen there is little chance for them to recognize you and if they ask where her friend went she can always say something like, "She wasn't feeling well and went in search of a ladies' room."

In general, you and your spouse should relax and enjoy your adventure. It is a big, wide, wonderful world and there is no reason a CD shouldn't enjoy it!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[pamela7]

welcome Rikki,

Another perspective is to avoid the "worst" venues - any place you feel or sense is t-phobic. The rest of the world really is fine. Most people are conforming and sheeplike and will avoid causing public offense. Daytime therefore is always safest - if you think of how the jungle works, then predators are out after dark!

xx Pamela

[DAVIDA]

Hi Rikk!
Welcome to the forum.
I am way down in the South, so I don't know much about your area. I never worried about what others thought about me when I went out, I just went.:thumbsup:
Being new here, you should go to the Introductions section and do a post there and tell everyone a little about yourself.:)
Davida

[Raychel]

Hello Rikki,

I am from New England as well. With kids 20, 21, 29
they have known about me for a couple of years now. and are accepting.

As far as places to go out, I cant really help a lot. I don't really go out very often.
but from reading the forums and checking around, I do know there are plenty
of organizations and gatherings to go out happening all the time.
Every weekend there is something going on, and around here there are places that
have meetings during the week as well

And of course there is always Provincetown, Ma.
non stop there and definitely no judgment.

[Claire Cook]

Here in the North East we are spoiled and have some of the greatest places, parties and events in the world for our community.


Because of these ever-changing factors, this guide is NOT intended to be an exhaustive list.

I'm genderqueer and I most align with the M2F experience. So while these selections are filtered through that personal experience, I know that most events listed here are friendly and inclusive of not only TG, but any and every "flavor" of gender identity!



Wow Adriana, you should write a travel guide for us!!

[Cheryl_Layton]

Hi, Riki.

Personally speaking, I think that first you need to get used to being out and about whilst dressed. For example, simply walking along the street and maybe window shopping. Depending on your ‘passability’ there may be occasions that you are ‘read’ and you need to see how you feel if and when that occurs. You really want to be in a position that you can walk away from before you entrap yourself in, say, a restaurant (I’m sure you wouldn’t want to lose your appetite if nerves get the better of you!).

Becoming a woman takes a lot more effort and practice than most people realise and like most skills that we acquire in life it needs plenty of practice, usually with baby-steps at first. When you have established your confidence then hit the town in whatever way that suits you. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it more.

Cheryl x

[Katey888]

Welcome Riki...

Adriana's said it all for me... :yrtw:

I'd just give another nod to trans friendly environments... If you want to learn and practice the look, the walk, the mannerisms, and get the feeling, why add to the stress? Get comfy in a friendly environment and that should make your egress into the vanilla world much smoother and safer.

Other than that, with an acceptable and smart presentation and polite behaviour, most places should accept you as trans... :)

Enjoy the experience!

Katey x

[annecwesley]

Take a trip Downeast. Portland Maine, Camden, Mount Desert - these places see a lot of tourists of every sort - nobody sticks out like a sore thumb and the locals don't care as long as you're spending money.

[Angela Marie]

I'm from upstate NY and my impression, just anecdotally, is that the Northeast is more accepting than most areas of the country. Of course that is a generalization and there are those that are closed minded and ignorant but you will find those everywhere. I started out very slow going out only for gas and/or driving around a bit and going back home. As my confidence increased and my makeup skills improved I ventured out more and more into the mainstream. I now go out pretty much wherever I want. In the beginning I went to some gay bars. I'm straight but I thought that would be the most likely place other girls would go. I did meet a few there but the experience was less than satisfactory since i'm not a drinker and don't care for the gar atmosphere. I realized that I needed to integrate myself into society as Angela which I did. My advice is to go slow, work on your makeup techniques and eventually you will feel comfortable going out. You always have to be careful of course but that goes for anyone in this day and age.

[Vickie_CDTV]

There is always the Tiffany Club in Boston that has regular events, I am sure they can point you to some places to go in other places in MA as well.
http://www.tcne.org

There also used to be events in Albany NY, which isn't too far from MA, but I don't think they have anything going on there anymore.

[Jaime Noel]

You can also use an app like gay scout. It lists nearby gay friendly places. They are a lot more likely to be open to T girls and CDs. Stay out of townie bars and don't be a jerk, you should be pretty good in boston tho. That has been my experience.

They also do events out on the town as well. I cannot say enough good things about these ladies.

[Krisi]

Some folks have answered your question as if you are looking for a gay or crossdressing specific place to go. I may be wrong but I took your question as looking for a "normal" place for two ladies to go.

Since I don't live in New England and you didn't specify what part of New England you live in, I'll jus give general suggestions. Drive a hundred miles or so to a large town or city. Shop in the malls, walk in the parks, visit tourist attractions and dine somewhere where alcohol is not the main attraction. Although it seems counterintuitive, I believe being in a crowd makes you less likely to stand out as a crossdresser than hanging around in deserted places.

[Gabby6790]

New Hope PA, would be the perfect weekend getaway. Very TG friendly but not over the top. Amazing restaurants, B&Bs, shops, and fall is simply amazing here.

[Riki223]

ADRIANA, and all else who have replied, My sincerest thank you for the quick and info filled responses. As you know I am new to the "outside" world of crossdressing and responses and support are so vital.

Adriana, the info you have provided is awesome! Not knowing really where to start or what to expect this will help more than you know, or maybe you do. I now have somewhere to start research, starting online, then maybe check out some of the venues undressed to get a feel for what would be comfortable and what would not. What the dress is like at the different places at different times etc and just what is acceptable and what is not. Just try to get familiar with this whole other world so I know what to expect and try to figure out how to make it as as positive experience as possible.

Without writing a long rambling email, Once again please just understand just how thankful I am to you and everyone else for the responses.

I will continue to check in and I am sure I will have many more questions !!

[Sarasometimes]

I'm in agreement with Cheryl that you may want to get some miles on those heels before the 2 of you venture out unless your wife wants to accompany you as you learn to present and blend/pass. All aspects need to be figured out, like restroom needs and your comfort level managing this. I would keep it simple and head in a direction and distance that makes doing this less stressful. Jumping in for a weekend could be overwhelming to a newby out for the first time with no choice but to stay in role. A trip for some shopping or a manicure or pedicure alone or with your wife is a start. Good luck and keep us informed as to how this goes.

[michelleddg]

Wow, lots of partying in the northeast! Good stuff indeed, but doesn't seem like that's what you were asking for. Take a look at tgnorth.com. Clare is in Montpelier VT and will get you dolled up then show you and your bride a fabulous, low key introduction to being out and about as girls. Hugs, Michelle

[Riki223]

Hi Sara. I agree and do greatly appreciate your feedback and advice. Insight from those who have been where I am is so appreciated very much.
There is a lot to figure out and understand. Not sure yet where I will even get the courage to try all this. But the weekend away thought, I agree, what we were looking for was somewhere to go for a long weekend where it could give us / me the opportunity to visit / experience the whole thing maybe by a night out to the right place, such as dinner, shopping or some of the other ideas everyone has offered. We also tend to travel and rent private houses / villas, cant truly afford it but we do any way, ya only live once right and we enjoy the privacy it brings. So our thought was I would be able to dress go out for whatever the occasion and come back without having to worry about other seeing me in dress one day and out of dress the next. I think a night out for a couple hours for the first time around is going to be more than enough to take in.

- - - Updated - - -

Michelle, this sounds like something very much worth looking into and maybe exactly what I / we are looking for. We really know nothing about the public side of crossdressing and what appears to be very wonderful community that's supports those who do . I am just looking for guidance, education etc to try to help myself understand this more and make it a great experience at the level that is right for me and us. Lets face it it may turn out that I won't even like being out in public, well from a standpoint of being too self conscious anyway.
My wife and i have experimented at home for many years now, She to some extent has urged inquiring about this more than I have as she feels like I may be missing out and doesn't want me to regret not at least learning about the more public side and experiencing it. She knows it is something I struggle with immensely. As one day I want to be shoe shopping and the next I am working on the restoration of a classic car or doing a major renovation project at our house.
We both believe that digging into the experience more might help us both better understand it, and bring a new twist of fun to our lives.
I will definitely look into TGNorth and possible even Clare. Thanks Much for the info , it is all greatly appreciated !!

[Adron2009]

Hi Riki,

I know you have a ton of suggestions on this thread but let me add a few to consider. I lived in Boston for a number of years (just recently moved away) and found the downtown area to be very accepting. But it can be somewhat intimidating for a first time outing as it can be very busy. Let me suggest you might first try a hotel and get dressed and go down to the lobby bar with your wife and have drinks and dinner. This would be fine in many if not all down town hotels, but I can suggest a less traveled venue (unless they have a conference going on so would be good to check on). It is the Westin Waltham hotel. They were the host site for the First Event last year and are very accepting of TG people. It is generally very quiet and would be much less intimidating for you two. But beware there is nothing near by to walk to and not a lot to drive to close by.

If you do want to be more in the action then head downtown, the major hotels are well trained on dealing with TG individuals. Here are a couple of restaurants we went to quite frequently (my wife and I) and were warmly accepted by the staff and the wait staff was especially nice and attentive:

Red Lantern
Post 390

Good luck and have fun!

[Flowergirl]

Your situation is quite similar to my own, except that I don't have any children. My family and professional life would likely both be destroyed if word got out, yet I an overwhelming desire to go out. I am not into the bar/club scene. My first ventures out were to the post office at night where I could practice walking in heels outside of my house, which as others have stated, is very different than inside. On a couple of rare occasions, I convinced my wife to attend a late night movie with me, but my first real outing was to see Penn and Teller in Las Vegas. It was a great night, but I was so stressed and self conscious that I didn't enjoy the experience as much as I should have. Two weeks later, I pleaded with my wife to let me get a makeover at MAC before we returned from our vacation. That day was the best! After my makeover, we went shopping, returned to MAC for a makeover for my wife, then we went to dinner at a mainstream restaurant, followed by a movie. By the end of the night, as much as I didn't want to take off my makeup, I couldn't wait to get my high heeled boots off! Since then, I have been to the local MAC store(it is an hour and a half away) probably 4-5 times, always followed by dinner and a movie, and an occasional brief shopping trip. My absolute favorite part of the day is sitting in the makeup chair like a normal lady and having a skilled artist transform my ugly male face into a semi-attractive woman.

Hope this helps!
Miranda

[TrishaLake]

i hear ya...i lived in NY and there was plenty but not much in DFW where i have settled....

[Sometimes Steffi]

A few people mentioned Provincetown, and I second that.

How about Fantasia Fair

http://fantasiafair.org/

It's coming up real soon

October 18 through October 25, 2015

In fact, it may be too late to get a room

But, there's a lot of good info on where to stay, and what to do.

Just remember that P-town pretty much shuts down after Fantasia Fair

[Robin414]

How about the ladies room? Hey, if yah gotta go, yah gotta go, right!

(I've heard Tycho Brahe died from a ruptured bladder because it was impolite to step away from the dinner table 😵 )

[heatherdress]

Riki - You should check out Beauty and the Beach - a crossdresser event at Rehoboth Beach, DE. It is a 3, 4, 5 or 6 day event which is totally social - a CD vacation. You can spend you entire time within the hotel or venture out into the local town which is very CD-friendly.

[Dr.Susan]

Check out Northampton MA. All kinds of folks from all walks of life and they seem to all get along just fine.

http://www.explorenorthampton.com

http://www.explorenorthampton.com/lgbt/

[Jacqueline Vivaldi]

I have been to Provincetown for a week on several occasions. I am going to Fantasia Fair tomorrow. However, in any week of the year one can go to P-town and feel really comfortable in any venue. People are exceptionally friendly and accepting. When I go at non-fair times, I visit the art galleries, go biking, eat at one of the many great restaurants, dance the night away at the A-House, and everyone is friendly and seems to enjoy my being there. Even if you do not completely pass you will have an exceptionally accepting environment and feel comfortable. Just do it, the only thing to fear is fear itself.

[natalie_cheryl]

well my wife an i are planning to go to jaques cabaret on boston this friday with me in femme ive been there in femme an not its a fantasic show and a very friendly vemue