The real me and you

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I read again just now of a member who feels they have to hide 'the real me'.

It isn't only crossdressers who have to do this, it's most of humanity.

You only have to look at the huge popularity of fantasy, in the form of advertising, movies, social icons, porn, you name it- we all basically wish we were somebody else at least some of the time.

So don't feel you're somehow on the outside of society looking in- you're not. Most of us find life a struggle, most of us fear what others would think of us 'if they knew the real me'.

The joke is that the ones who truly are themselves, who aren't obsessed by how they think others see them, are the ones we should really envy, not the narcissistic stars of the Twittering pop world.

[Kate Simmons]

I think the bottom line is just to learn how to be yourself and enjoy it. :)

[pamela7]

yep Nikki, that is the whole point of the work I do, helping people to be themselves. another perspective tho, is that all the neuroses and hiding are part of a bigger picture of a self that shows itself in plain sight all the time. what if almost everyone (except the "in-crowd") feels they're "looking in", and what if that "in-crowd" envies another group of "normals" who don't even exist?

the mythical beast that is truly itself is too scary for most to see - or is that us who's afraid to show it? (Marianne Williamson etc), never mind, just get back to some online shopping for more panties :-)

[Krisi]

We are all "ourselves". Who else could we be? If we are crossdressers who hide that fact from others, that's still what we are, crossdressers who hide that fact from others.

[Ally 2112]

Everybody has something to hide or some kind of crutch to lean on .I think most of would be surprised what people really do or think in private :)

[Saikotsu]

Carl Jung spoke of a persona, the mask we hide behind to help us get through lifes daily challenges. DISC personality assessments measure ones natural personality type vs. Ones adaptive personality type or the personality we go to when we're around others and the personality we revert to when we feel secure enough to be ourselves.

Essentially, the way we are and the way we present ourselves in public don't (usually) match up. This is true regardless of whether you're cisgender, a crossdresser, or any other amalgamation of other identities.

Most people want to find acceptance and be able to act naturally. Those of us who buck societies pre-established rules feel this disconnect particularly hard. It's easy to say, "you are always you, no matter what," but I've found when people say, "I want to be me", what they're really saying is "I want to act a certain way and not be rejected for it." or simply put, "I don't want to be judged for being myself".