Marcelle
10-03-2015, 06:09 AM
Hi all,
As many know I have come out completely at work and now work full time as a woman. Now being in a military setting can be difficult but when that setting is a Headquarters environment with an eclectic group of military and civilian folks in the Nation's capital it does make it a bit easier. Last week I had the opportunity to clear a major hurdle working as a woman in the military world. Specifically, I was sent to a main Army training base to conduct focus groups with combat arms officers for a project I am working on. I have spent a lot of time on this base as a man both in training and instucting. Most of the people I was going to come in contact with knew me quite well . . . as a man. The base itself is 80% male and to my knowledge 0% trans. The culture is combat arms oriented so think uber alpha male. So into this I ventured spending the entire week working and living as a woman (I took no male clothing). It was surreal at some moments but for the most part I was treated professionally. Don't get me wrong I got a lot of WTF stares but things were relatively peaceful for me.
I had informed the appropriate chain of command on the base that I was trans and would be working as a woman, so they were prepared. The working group was awkward at first as I think quite a few older guys (who remember the days when our kind were released from the military) adjusted. With the exception of one, they all settled into a comfortable place and while they struggled with gender pronouns they apologized if they got it wrong and surprisingly were consummate gentlemen in that they always held the door for me (very unexpected). One officer did not adjust well and was quite rude and dismissive throughout, refused to use the proper gender pronouns (always referring to me as "him"). I had a talk with him and let him know he did not have to like it but he still needed to act professionally. When he continued in the rude manner, the chain of command dealt with him and he was removed (after apologizing to me in front of the team). Oh well, you can't change everyone. Following the working group I had to brief senior leadership on the outcome (General level) and surprisingly not one officer at the briefing batted an eye. They were legitimately engaged in asking me questions and used the proper pronouns throughout.
Being on base was a bit odd since the ratio of women to men is very small. So anyone who looks remotely female gets that really creepy toe to head leer. So it was a bit surreal to be put in that uncomfortable position. Not to mention it took a bit of getting used to hearing "Ma'am" vice "Sir" when someone saluted me. As I indicated for the most part it was uneventful with mainly the odd confused stare. I did have one small issue my first meal time in the dinning hall. I was standing in line to get my food when I noticed three junior officers doing the "nudge, nudge, wink, wink chuckle while pointing at me". Now I was in uniform and it was obvious I was a Major so trans issue aside, this was not appropriate behavior from subordinates. So, I left the line went over and asked "Is there something about my personal circumstances which amuse you gentlemen?". I don't think they were prepared for a confrontation and as it was a busy dining hall all eyes were on them. When they refused to respond I asked them again and when a response was still not forthcoming I told them to follow me out the dinning hall to which they complied (it is never good form to dress down a subordinate in front of others). Once away from the crowd I read them the riot act, took their names and the name of their supervisor and asked them if they understood the concept of harassment and how they were breaking that regulation. They got sheepish about it but nodded and mumbled something to which I replied, "Nodding and mumbling are not good traits in an officer gentlemen, I think the wording you are looking for is 'yes Ma'am'". They responded in the affirmative and I dismissed them. I never did give their names up to their supervisors as I think the experience will resonate with them for some time.
So as far as working goes, this is probably the toughest crowd I will ever have to face and things went relatively smoothly.
Not that it means a lot, but I have provided a proof of life photo of me outside my quarters. That was my standard dress on base . . . not super sexy but definitely more comfortable than a dress uniform.
Cheers
Marcelle (Isha)
As many know I have come out completely at work and now work full time as a woman. Now being in a military setting can be difficult but when that setting is a Headquarters environment with an eclectic group of military and civilian folks in the Nation's capital it does make it a bit easier. Last week I had the opportunity to clear a major hurdle working as a woman in the military world. Specifically, I was sent to a main Army training base to conduct focus groups with combat arms officers for a project I am working on. I have spent a lot of time on this base as a man both in training and instucting. Most of the people I was going to come in contact with knew me quite well . . . as a man. The base itself is 80% male and to my knowledge 0% trans. The culture is combat arms oriented so think uber alpha male. So into this I ventured spending the entire week working and living as a woman (I took no male clothing). It was surreal at some moments but for the most part I was treated professionally. Don't get me wrong I got a lot of WTF stares but things were relatively peaceful for me.
I had informed the appropriate chain of command on the base that I was trans and would be working as a woman, so they were prepared. The working group was awkward at first as I think quite a few older guys (who remember the days when our kind were released from the military) adjusted. With the exception of one, they all settled into a comfortable place and while they struggled with gender pronouns they apologized if they got it wrong and surprisingly were consummate gentlemen in that they always held the door for me (very unexpected). One officer did not adjust well and was quite rude and dismissive throughout, refused to use the proper gender pronouns (always referring to me as "him"). I had a talk with him and let him know he did not have to like it but he still needed to act professionally. When he continued in the rude manner, the chain of command dealt with him and he was removed (after apologizing to me in front of the team). Oh well, you can't change everyone. Following the working group I had to brief senior leadership on the outcome (General level) and surprisingly not one officer at the briefing batted an eye. They were legitimately engaged in asking me questions and used the proper pronouns throughout.
Being on base was a bit odd since the ratio of women to men is very small. So anyone who looks remotely female gets that really creepy toe to head leer. So it was a bit surreal to be put in that uncomfortable position. Not to mention it took a bit of getting used to hearing "Ma'am" vice "Sir" when someone saluted me. As I indicated for the most part it was uneventful with mainly the odd confused stare. I did have one small issue my first meal time in the dinning hall. I was standing in line to get my food when I noticed three junior officers doing the "nudge, nudge, wink, wink chuckle while pointing at me". Now I was in uniform and it was obvious I was a Major so trans issue aside, this was not appropriate behavior from subordinates. So, I left the line went over and asked "Is there something about my personal circumstances which amuse you gentlemen?". I don't think they were prepared for a confrontation and as it was a busy dining hall all eyes were on them. When they refused to respond I asked them again and when a response was still not forthcoming I told them to follow me out the dinning hall to which they complied (it is never good form to dress down a subordinate in front of others). Once away from the crowd I read them the riot act, took their names and the name of their supervisor and asked them if they understood the concept of harassment and how they were breaking that regulation. They got sheepish about it but nodded and mumbled something to which I replied, "Nodding and mumbling are not good traits in an officer gentlemen, I think the wording you are looking for is 'yes Ma'am'". They responded in the affirmative and I dismissed them. I never did give their names up to their supervisors as I think the experience will resonate with them for some time.
So as far as working goes, this is probably the toughest crowd I will ever have to face and things went relatively smoothly.
Not that it means a lot, but I have provided a proof of life photo of me outside my quarters. That was my standard dress on base . . . not super sexy but definitely more comfortable than a dress uniform.
Cheers
Marcelle (Isha)