Clocking other CD's

[debstar]

So ever since I joined this forum my CDar has been on overdrive looking very closely at other people and how they present. I have seen a few lovely ladies that I was 99% sure they were guys dressed up... but here is the rub.

1. As much as I would like to compliment them that they are about doing their own thing and look happy. I do not really want to bother them.
2. That 1% chance I am totally wrong and they are actually GG's

I do get an urge just to run up and hug them but that's about as risky as acidentaly calling a large woman pregnant.

So I guess I can take heart from this that if I were to go out dressed one day not many are going to risk making idiots out of themselves by calling me out?

What do you think?

[Dawn cd]

First of all, it depends on whether you are dressed fem or male. If male, stay apart. If female, a discreet smile will suffice. No hugs. Let her say the first word.

[Tracii G]

I'm with Dawn on this one.

[debstar]

Yeah I'm not really just going to hug strangers. And yes I am in man mode. :)

[edit]

run up and hug = an overwhelming sense of admiration for doing something I am scared of.

[Junius]

What's wrong with complimenting a stranger? It's a lost art form. You don't have to be super personal, just compliment her choice in clothes or makeup. She'll feel good about herself and you'll have an excuse to talk to her and maybe discuss CDing in an abstract way.

Even if you're wrong and she is a gg, then you made someone's day and your CDar gets some fine tuning.

[Jenniferathome]

...

So I guess I can take heart from this that if I were to go out dressed one day not many are going to risk making idiots out of themselves by calling me out?

What do you think?

No, this is what idiots actually do. It may happen from time to time. Normal people will say nothing because it really is no big deal. And as far as compliments go, I'm with Junius, a genuine compliment is welcomed by all.

[Jane G]

People usually enjoy complements, as long as they are genuine, not the slightly sarcastic type. I saw two easily read girls out in the beautiful english sunshine yesterday. I was in drab. I did compliment them quietly as I passed by. Acknowledge by two gentle smiles. They must have know I'd read them, but a compliment is a complement. :) Similar to when I post up a pic here and people pay complements. It's just a nice thing to communicate.

[Alice_2014_B]

I've definitely been more observant since I have been out en femme in public.
:)

[Jaylyn]

I think I have seen a few in a nearby town over a hundred miles from me... Lol I would love to say you look great today but make myself stay away. If one ever did say hello or morning to you, then I might strike up a conversation with them. Heck I might even tell them I'm a cd also. I would love to have real friends that I know and be able to visit about the cd thing but until they start the conversation I won't say a thing.

[CynthiaD]

In femme mode, I want to be treated as a woman. I would be extremely unhappy to be called out as a CD, regardless of the circumstances.

My rule is, if she's presenting as a woman, treat her as a woman. Even if it's obvious that she isn't.

[Heidi Stevens]

Last Saturday while shopping with Kandia and her wife in a Memphis Macy's, I saw an elegantly dressed sister working in the makeup department. I pointed her out to Kandia and she said she wouldn't have known. I said me too, but her voice was a dead giveaway. She could use some vocal coaching to complete the package. She then turned and spotted me. We made eye contact and she nodded towards me and smiled. I did the same plus winked. She smiled again then turned to help a customer. I wanted about 10 minutes with her to get the whole story, but moved on.

[MichelleDevon]

I've seen other CDers out and about but never said anything. I think a shared smile would suffice - silent acknowledgement, no more.

We do get clocked and I reported many months ago on an incident whilst shopping as Michelle. A complete stranger (female) came across to where I was standing talking about a dress to a fellow customer, put her arms around my neck and gave me a kiss on each cheek - "That's just for you being you," she said. And off she went to continue her shopping. I can easily cope with that sort of recognition and response.

I think you have to be very certain that you really have the correct identification before making any sort of approach but in the right circumstances I would do so and would respond positively to someone approaching me.

Michelle
xxx

[Krisi]

I have never seen a crossdresser around here except for my own reflection in a store window. Maybe they are all so good they are passing or maybe they are all in the closet or hang out somewhere I don't know about.

If I did see one in public, I would do my best to treat her as I would treat any female stranger. That is, to walk on by and say nothing. If she smiled or said hello, I would respond in kind.

It would be very rare and a bit creepy for a man to approach a strange woman and compliment her on her dress, shoes, hair, etc. At best, it would be viewed as a come on.

[NicoleScott]

"I see you are a CD, too" is not a compliment (it's a license plate: ICURACD2). It's just another way of saying "busted!" Compliment the look, nothing more.

[sometimes_miss]

1. As much as I would like to compliment them that they are about doing their own thing and look happy. I do not really want to bother them.
2. That 1% chance I am totally wrong and they are actually GG's. I do get an urge just to run up and hug them but that's about as risky as acidentaly calling a large woman pregnant.

What do you think?
I think you've just figured out for yourself why so many crossdressers think they pass.

[Paula J]

In femme mode, I want to be treated as a woman. I would be extremely unhappy to be called out as a CD, regardless of the circumstances.

My rule is, if she's presenting as a woman, treat her as a woman. Even if it's obvious that she isn't.

I am right there with you on this one.

- - - Updated - - -


"I see you are a CD, too" is not a compliment (it's a license plate: ICURACD2). It's just another way of saying "busted!" Compliment the look, nothing more.


And I am right there with you too!

[I Am Paula]

Compliment their clothing, hair, etc. DO NOT out them. To a TS, who may be trying their very best, it's humiliating.

[AngelaYVR]

If you're really itching to say anything and also let the girl know you share the same sartorial proclivities, compliment her on something she's wearing and ask where she got it from. Two birds, one stone, no outing.