Am I an Asexual Trangenderist

[Ilsa]

I write this because I had an epiphany yesterday while answering a survey from the college I graduated from and they asked me that gender question as to whether I was a male, female, transgendered or prefer not to answer. As I sat in front of my computer I pondered little and answered that question for the first time without hesitation that I was indeed transgendered. Then I also answered the question of whether I was married, single or something else and I answered single of course, never having been married.

That question bothered me more than you would think the gender question would have. Having turned sixty this year I started thinking about who I was and where I'd been and realized I'd been pretty much alone with no desire to pursue a relationship, or have a sexual encounter with anyone these many years. The only constant in my life was the desire to dress and play the role of a woman!

Sure, I had my one relationship in college that I thought meant something, but soon realized that that wasn't what I desired. If the university's survey had provided me the opportunity to answer their question as to whether or not I had been enlightened or learned something they would have gotten one hell of an answer. Instead it was more like; did we do this or that for you, please check one answer.

So through the years I've found that I have enjoyed the company of my women friends with no desire to be sexually involved and the same goes for men, though I must admit that if I were to have a sexual relationship it would only be with a male as a female and for now that seems to be anything but a reality.

So here I am with only the dream of having a relationship with a man as a woman. if I transitioned and am probably seeing that as an impossibility it leaves me in an undesirable limbo, or as I like to define it as asexual and transgendered. Short of being a transexual I can only say; how I wish I was a woman.

As Always,

Ilsa

[Rianna Humble]

You are not alone in not having had relationships - in fact you are one up on my tally! Being a woman (even in denial) I could never handle the male role in a relationship.

One of the ways in which I do differ from you is that for me it has never been about dressing up or playing the role of a woman.

I am about the same age as you, but am living as the real me - albeit that my health prevents me from being accepted for GCS.

Perhaps you could explain more about why you consider transition to be out of the question?

Whilst I can't speak to costs in your part of the world (I'm sure others will). Until last year, I was looking after my father who was in his 90s. That did not prevent me from transitioning whilst I was looking after him.

[Dawn cd]

Ilsa, you speak of relationships as if they had to be sexual. IMO it's possible to have deep, human relationships without sex being involved--just think of your brother or sister, or your best friend. So it's okay to be asexual. You can still have an intimate relationship with another, in the sense of heart to heart.