How would you respond?

[Billiejosehine]

During a recent conversation on things related to me being transgender. An acquaintance asked me the following question when when I mentioned my court date for my name and gender change: "This may seem like a strange question but how does that work? The name part I understand... you can call yourself anything that you like and petition the court to make it legal. The part that I don't understand is the gender thing. Can you actually designate yourself as a different gender than you currently are before you have had the surgery done, and if you do will the law actually respect that choice if you for instance went to jail? Just curious..."How would you respond to such a question?

[LeaP]

Response: "Yes."

[I Am Paula]

Tell him to mind his own business, most important- Stay out of jail!

[PretzelGirl]

Remember, only you know your gender. Designate makes it sound like you are making a choice. We know this isn't true so maybe declare is a better way of putting it.

[Billiejosehine]

This guy is very opinionated about things and in his mind he feels that being transgender is a choice; no matter how much I try to educate him.

[Peggie Lee]

I have told others I didn't change my gender on my birth certificate I had it corrected.

[Rianna Humble]

This guy is very opinionated about things and in his mind he feels that being transgender is a choice

I've had to deal with some people like that. You could always ask him:

When did you decide to be cisgender?
How long have you known you wanted to become cisgender?
How does what is between your legs make you feel since you decided to become cisgender?

[BOBBI G.]

For me it was when I came when I admitted to myself I didn't fit the role I was playing in this life. I went through, and am still going through, therapy, and have been diagnosed as dysphoric (sp?)by a total of 3 specialists. After only three sessions one asked me, "What are we waiting for?". I did all medical stuff necessary and got my letter from my medical Dr. to this affect, all that is required here in Florida. I applied to the courts for a name change , U.S Social security Admin for a new card and The state of Florida for a new DL. It was not a choice. Had I tried to continue playing the role, I would not be typing this today. I would be plant food.

Now I try and help people that are just starting this journey and educate others of what its like to be a pink sheep in a black and white world.

Bobbi

[Eringirl]

As Leah said, the answer is "Yup"

And don't waste your breath.....if they aren't ready to hear it/listen, you can talk to you are blue in the face. Move on/change subject.

[phylis anne]

I like what Rianna said -basically turning the tables on this person either way congrats on your changes let the chips fall where they may
phylis anne

[Abby Kae]

I actually have been asked that already, but it was more in the context of how my state handles the logistics of it, rather than thinking gender is a choice.

For someone like you describe, asking me why I'm choosing to be a woman, I would respond like Rianna suggests. Asking people when they chose to be cis (or straight, for those anti-gay folks) tends to quiet them right down.

[Dawn cd]

Maybe he is opinionated, but these are fair questions, and since Billiejoe started the conversation by mentioning her court date, she ought to deal with his questions. Like many folks, this guy thinks gender-change must involve surgery--a common misconception. So tell him that gender is an interior reality. It's in the mind and the consciousness. It's not an exterior condition. And, yes, the state will recognize her new status and won't put her in San Quentin. Educating the public is one of the principal things TS people are called to do.

[PaulaQ]

Can you actually designate yourself as a different gender than you currently are before you have had the surgery done, and if you do will the law actually respect that choice if you for instance went to jail?

The only answer is "it depends on where you are." Some places don't require sterilizing surgery before granting a gender marker change. Some hospitals, psychiatric facilities, jails, and prisons honor legal gender changes, some do not. The inconsistency of law, and its application towards us, makes life as a transgender person extremely dangerous sometimes. We are exceedingly likely to be raped, often many times over, if we are unfortunate enough to find ourselves in the US prison industrial complex, for instance.

That would be my answer.

[Badtranny]

This guy is very opinionated about things and in his mind he feels that being transgender is a choice; no matter how much I try to educate him.

Some people resist education the way a a toddler resists a spoonful of spinach.

Just tell him that the only choice you made was to live happily. Like the old '80's tshirt; Choose Life. Who would choose otherwise? Better yet, who in the world would choose to be ridiculed and threatened and basically treated like crap every day?

See you tomorrow! :-)