When, if ever, does it end?

[Cheryl_Layton]

No, no, no! I’m not talking about ending crossdressing. I think the grim reaper will see to that.

No, I’m referring to the need to constantly see myself in the mirror or to take dozens of selfies. At the moment, I still feel that I’m a work in progress as I still haven’t nailed the hair/wig yet. I’m assuming that if I do finally reach a point where I’m satisfied with my appearance and feel confident when stepping outside then the need for affirmation will abate? Or am I doomed to continue filling up my hard drive until it bursts open like an overstuffed armchair?

I would also like to ask my sister CDers a simple question: Would you dress as much if there were no such thing as mirrors, reflective surfaces or cameras?

Thanks in advance,

Cheryl x

[Angela Marie]

I don't think we are unique in regard to looking at ourselves. That is just human nature; to look as best as you can. I just took some new selfies but I generally don't make a habit of it. At some point I think we have to just accept our physical characteristics and go from there. I'm coming closer and closer to that point. As an aside you should n to worry you look great.

[Marcelle]

Hi Cheryl,

I think it is different for everyone. I know when I first came here I posted lots of pics (and for everyone 1 I posted I am sure I took 20 :)). Initially (for me) it was a sort of validation and feedback helped me hone my looks and skills. As the look took shape, the pictures became a sort of feedback loop for me in that I would look them over to see how I presented and make changes. Once I got more active going out and was comfortable with my look the pictures abated because to be honest . . . photo shoots are laborious and I am not a big fan of selfies in public. Now that I am fully out as a woman in public, the only pictures that happen are when my friends take them as part of some social event or on occasion I snap a proof of life photo for some major hurdle.

However that is me and for some taking pictures is just fun/enjoyable and part of the experience.

Cheers

Isha

[Krisi]

Your desire to look at yourself in the mirror or take photos will end when dressing as a woman becomes routine enough that it feels normal. Of course you will still have to look in the mirror to get shave, get dressed and put on your makeup.

As for the second question, there are mirrors and cameras and they are not going away. Perhaps it would be better to ask if you would still dress if you lost your eyesight.

[Gabby6790]

I am thinking that, as stated below, dressing becomes more normal. My over-concern about how I look has a lot to about figuring out things that fit and styles that work for me. I often think about the fact that trying to learn all this instantly is a herculean feat. Most women have decades to develop these skills and I am trying to do so a few times a month getting dressed in a storage locker without a full length mirror or good light. So, I think my obsession with mirrors and pictures will abate if I ever get to the point where I feel I am reasonably put together.

[Cheryl T]

I would still dress as much if there were no mirrors or cameras. It's not about seeing myself in reflection or photos, it's about being who I am inside.

Mirrors are a necessary evil. We need them to verify our appearance is the quality that we wish others to see. Photos are a wonderful tool. The mirror lies, plain and simple. Looking in the mirror we can delude ourselves that we look fabulous. A photo on the other hand allows us to step back and view ourselves more as others see us. We can be more critical seeing a picture as we are somewhat detached from the event at the time we do the viewing whereas the mirror is in the moment.

[IamWren]

Krisi beat me to the punch.

Perhaps it would be better to ask if you would still dress if you lost your eyesight.
I have a friend whose identity hinges on his ability to play his guitar. He's been playing for about 50 years. He's getting on up in age and arthritis is really starting to prohibit his ability.
So I wondered if losing one's eyesite would prohibit the desire, need, want (what have you) to crossdressing.

[Kate Simmons]

If we are going to make the effort to dress we may as well make the effort to want to look nice. The fact is mirrors and cameras do exist. It's a "girl thing", just enjoy it. ;):)

[Luciana]

Funny, this thing works very different to me!

When I was at my 20s I loved to look at the mirror! Now at 40s (actually turning the 50) I don't have this wish anymore. Of course I do that mirror check to see how things are, but don't keep looking at it all the time. Instead I like to look down directly to my body from my own perspective and see the bra, then the panties, and the shaved legs ending on feet in pumps.

About selfies... actually I don't remember of have taken a single shot in my whole life when dressed like a girl because I am too scared about leaving evidences of my sins!

:battingeyelashes:

[Ceera]

Well, I've only been doing this for less than two years, so for me, even though getting out of the house en-femme is becoming a 'normal' activity for me, I still take pictures almost every time I dress up. In part, I want to record my progress. In part, it's proof to myself that I am really following through with these urges and getting out and pushing my boundaries. But I usually leave the camera at home when I go out.

The visual feedback is important to me. It's a validation that I'm doing well and that I am presenting the look I want. I do not take a lot of pictures of myself while out, unless it is a special occasion, like my first time out in public in a bikini, or my first time mall shopping. My phone is an older one that doesn't do well at taking selfies, and while I have a splendid digital camera, I only take that with me for special events. Pretty much what an older genetic girl does, when you think about it. Pictures are for special moments.

[Sarah-RT]

Great question Cheryl.

I do the same things, regularly taking photos, I do it initially when I feel I look good but I often use the camera as a mobile mirror to check I haven't begun unraveling.
I find myself checking my image in the mirror too for the same reason. It's usually to make sure my wig is still in good shape but I find I check myself out too as a " wow, look at that girl staring back" it really is a form of affirmation, the same as snapchatting friends or putting pictures on my Facebook.
I guess that habit will eventually go away when/if I feel I can look convincing enough with practice.
I find myself looking at my photos on my phone when out and about which really gives me a mood boost.

As for the being blind, I could see myself not using makeup ever again but I think I'd still dress, the feel of forms on and the nice fabrics of clothes makes me feel good.
If the whole world was blind on the other hand would we ever not dress?

[Allisa]

It seems I can't stop taking pics of myself, I guess I'm making up for lost time when I was younger and photographic equipment wasn't as it is today so no pics of my younger self and I was in denial so... how could I not dress now that I've let the Genie out of the bottle, mirrors or not.

[CynthiaD]

I'm not into pics or mirrors. Yes, I like looking in the mirror and seeing a woman looking back at me, but I don't spend a lot of time doing that. I'm more into interacting with other people as a woman. I can't get enough of that.

[Stephj]

No I don't take pictures but every morning as I put my bra and panties on I can't help but to look in the dresser mirror

[Karen RHT]

What is it they say...everything in moderation?? I don't NEED mirrors or pictures in order to dress as I please, and feel good about doing it. Like most tools however, they do serve a purpose, and are meant to be used. I'm definitely NOT a selfieholic, and only occasionally purposely preen in a mirror.


Karen

[Paula J]

I don't think it will ever end for me. I don't know, maybe if my situation changes. But, I haven't been doing this for very long, so I do partly use photos to record my progression etc. But, right now, even though my wife knows, I really only get the opportunity to dress completely en femme, on weekends. So, I usually take a ton of photos, and 'selfies' just so I can go back during the week and re-visit my weekends. If, I was dressing full-time, and out to the world, I suppose I wouldn't do it quite as much, but I would still take pics pretty regularly.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Cheryl, Your mirror & camera can be your best friend or your worst enemy.:hugs:

I've had my ears pierced for over 6months now and I can't pass a mirror or a plate glass window
with out looking at my earrings.:daydreaming:

[Ally 2112]

I have never took a picture of myself although i have looked in the mirror for many years and never get tired of it

[NotSoSocial]

I actually look in the mirror more when I'm dressed up, but I only dress up when I know nobody will see me. I think without looking at myself I would look to other people to tell me that I look cute, so I think that would make me want to dress up more.

[pamela7]

i only did a couple of shoots at home, and only use the mirror for feedback for combing my hair and shaving as a daily use, when make-ing up obviously I use a mirror, but nothing obsessive. So i reckon it ought to die down to natural feminine use.

[Claire Cook]

Like many of us I checked the mirror a lot when I started dressing more, and going out. I guess I still do to some extent (don't most girls?? :)) but it's a lot less. Isn't funny how we see ourselves better in the mirror than in pics? I don't take pics of myself much anymore ... but my GF's do when we are out.

[JenniferR771]

Mirrors--an essential part of crfossdressing--in my opinion. I mean crossdressing. Where would we be without mirrors? Men are visual. We like to look at pretty women. And when we are dressed we like to look at ourselves. And...we don't mind being stared at. Even a lecherous look or two. Lots of photos --so much the better. I know where all the mirrors are in my house. I use them all.

As crossdressers--we seldom wear slacks--or dress down in a sloppy unsexy way. We want to look hot.
What would be the point in an old sweatshirt with short hair and black slacks with no makeup?

Mirrors are wonderful things. Who invented them? How did women put on their lipstick before mirrors?

[AbigailJordan]

Like everything, it varies from person to person. Personally, I would still dress. I haven't done many photos recently anyway, but just looking down and seeing what I'm wearing is enough.. I use the mirror generally to check my overall outfit etc.

But just as there are some cis women who are selfie mad with a dozen photos when trying on outfits etc, for some of us that will always be a fuzzy feeling activity that helps us feel good on the inside.. moral of the story.. save up for a bigger hard drive ;)

[Anne K]

Hmmm....that's a good question. I think I would continue, though makeup would be difficult. The value of the mirror is how it demonstrates how much different (better?) I look en femme. I do enjoy taking paictures or having my SO take pictures. It helps me refine my look, showing me what works and what doesn't work. I wish I would have learned about mahup long ago!

[Beverley Sims]

I always use a mirror.

I like the reverse look. :)

[Teresa]

Cheryl,
I've been dressing since childhood, mirrors and pictures didn't come into it until I came out to my wife in my forties, by then the sexual side was beginning to balance with how I looked. Being a photographer made it much easier because I could process all my own pictures, yes I admit I did go through a very sexy/fetish period which I may not have done if I didn't have an easy access to printing photos.
I do find having pictures is a good way of coming out, it certainly proved beneficial with my counselling, it's not always practical to be dressed but people have confused ideas about us and showing a picture puts the message across so clearly ! They often think of a guy trying to squeeze into his wife's clothes and looking stupid or ridiculous, they do have a surprise and take some convincing it's actually you, that's the reaction I get which at times surprises even me .

[Stephanie47]

I'm an in-home crossdresser. I avoid mirrors or at least looking at them close up. That diminishes the need for makeup. I just look at it from the viewpoint most women I know do not apply full makeup everyday. If any thing not looking in the mirror really encourages me to dress more. Once I've don my womanly garments I really forget I'm dressed as a woman. Do it often enough you start subconsciously adopting the mannerisms of a woman such as smoothing the skirt of the dress before sitting down or crossing the legs at the knees and not the ankles. If I spent so much time in front of a mirror I'd never get any of my domestic chores accomplished.

[sometimes_miss]

Never had the desire to take pictures of myself dressed as a girl. Mostly because I've never looked good as one. Maybe if I had the potential to be beautiful, I would have liked to have some evidence of it. But as things are, I don't need any reminder that I look like a hippo in a tutu. I'll keep the fantasy, thank you, of being the lovely girl I wanted to be when I was a kid.