Full Spectrum? Maybe? Anybody Else?

[Gabby6790]

So, first where I am so this makes sense. (I really need to put this in my sig). I am approaching 40. Dressed since a kid. Just started fully dressing and going out about a dozen times. Fully in the closet (for now) with a long term SO.

I have been thinking about where I want this all to go and I was hoping I could bounce this of you all. I have recently accepted that CDing is a part of my life that isn't going away. Therefore I am actively exploring. I guess when I say am trying to figure out where I stand on the dressing spectrum. In my head that goes form 100% male all the time to 100% female all the time.

If I had a magic wand and SO acceptance and felt comfortable dressing and looking reasonable en femme I think I would want to cover the full spectrum.

I enjoy dressing masculine and looking good.

I think I would enjoy being fluid presenting as a male but with a little femme thrown in.

And, I certainly enjoy being dressed full femme.

I really don't think one mode is pulling me further in any direction.

So, my questions is how does everybody else feel?

For those that have been through this, did this change over time?

As always, thanks so much for input and knowledge. I am sure you know how valuable it is to us "new" girls.

[Nikki A.]

There is no right or wrong, whatever feels comfortable for you is ok in my book.
With time and experience, you may want to stretch your boundaries. I thought that I'd be happy in the closet, maybe with a little under dressing. As time progressed I wanted to go out to "safe" venues. Since then I've progressed where I've gone to restaurants, malls and other places en femme and partially dressed. Basically it's whatever floats your boat

[Tracii G]

I'll be honest here so don't get mad please.
Why does it have to lead anywhere? It will only go as far as you want it to go.
Dress how you feel,if you want to be fluid at times just do it.
Its normal to want to be full femme or part femme in the way you present.
I have times where I go the full route and its very enjoyable most days I am fluid.
It changes with your moods, at least it does for me.
No right or wrong way to dress.
You don't have to fit in any one place on the spectrum and I just don't see why people think you have to.

[flatlander_48]

G6:

I'm very similar to the attributes that you list with the exception of age. I will be 67 in December. Over the past year, I have outed myself to people that I know, but last night I was DeeAnn in front of about 150 people.

The degree of my dressing at the moment seems pretty stable. There doesn't seem to be a push to accelerate or slow down. Although medically unconfirmed, I do feel that I have a bit of dsyphoria. It's there but is isn't enough that warrants doing something about it. It's not unusual here to see threads where people talk about the guilt they have when they dress or doing purges. I've had none of that.

DeeAnn

[Gabby6790]

Thank you for the honest responses. I certainly wouldn't get mad. I am looking for honest answers.

I get that there shouldn't be any boundaries and I wish there weren't. A small part of me asking this question is for me. The bigger part (and the reason behind a lot of my future posts) are how to explain this to the SO while being honest.

Right now, if she asked "How much do you want to dress?" My answer would be "Once in a while I would like to go out fully dressed but sometimes I would like to integrate small femme things into my daily life".

The right answer might be "(above plus) but that may change down the line and of course it would depend on what you are comfortable with".

[Kate Simmons]

As my friend Nikki says, there is no "right" or "wrong" way to do it. You may be surprised that many of us, including myself. did everything by "seat of the pants" and kind of made it up as we went along. What works best for us as individuals is what really counts. :battingeyelashes::)

[Marcelle]

Hi Gabby,

To be honest I think it will really depend on where you fall on the TG spectrum. If you are a truly a cross dresser I think you will find as many here have, your dressing will ebb and flow. Specifically, you will find times where you can think of nothing but presenting as a woman and it might consume you but you will eventually slide back into being guy and that will be fine. In my case, I started off feeling I was a cross dresser and over time I began the slow slide down the TG pathway to the TS side of the house. I started with 90/10 (male/female) presentation split, moved to 50/50 and am now relatively full time as a woman. The thought of dressing as a man holds no joy for me and I feel more myself as a woman.

Before anyone thinks I am pushing some agenda ;), I will reiterate this does not happen to every CDer. The difference is I was always TS and it just took me time to figure that out. Will it happen to you? Again it depends on where you fall on the spectrum but you will know in your heart of hearts what is right for you when the time comes. In the meantime my advice is not to get wrapped up in how you dress, when you dress but to just enjoy what feels good . . . you will figure it out in the end.

Cheers

Marcelle

[Cheryl_Layton]

I understand your concerns as we all want answers to our crossdressing at first. Why do we dress, am I gay/bi, is this the beginning to becoming Transsexual, etc, etc.

Like most things, there are no definitive answers as we are all different and your level of CDing (and how far you take it) can only ever apply to YOU!

I accept that SOs/family members are the most questioning and if you/we cannot give detailed explanations then we feel frustrated that we cannot fully justify our dressing to them.

To echo many other posters, just go with your own flow, showing due care and consideration to those closest to you.

[CarlaWestin]

True. Why does it need to go anywhere? Sounds like some of the classic first questions. Are you gay? Do you want to be a woman?

How about seeing where it will take you. You've already crossed the threshold of shedding the guilt trip and self doubt.

And don't let anyone else blow it out of proportion. It is what it is.

[jenniferinsf]

i must say deeann and carlawestin said what i would say....it is what it is and each of is different. i am very content in who i am...dressing 80% of the time and not feeling it necessary to go much further...who doesn't want bigger breasts and not having to shave everyday.....but that's how it is for me...and very happy...went out dressed yesterday to the ballet with my wife and her friend...a girls day....c'est fun

[Beverley Sims]

I feel that with with a S.O. in the relationship dynamics are not likely to change unless you share it with your partner.

If that is not going to work maybe a life of a single will be more comfortable and you can live more freely as you like.