Aftermath from telling my wife of my CDing ...

[wendy]

Since I told my wife that I CD a few weeks ago, the outcome as been quite positive.

While I usually don't CD during work nights (only on one occasion when stress was really bad at work), I do CD during the weekend.

The neighbours across the street from us have a reciprocal relationship in that when they go away on vacation we watch their house, and vice versa. On one Sunday afternoon, we had to go across the street to check up on their home. Wendy was dressed up, so I decided to go to our neighbour's house dressed up. It felt exhilarating to actually go out dressed up. Granted, compared to the other stories from other members it sounds rather lame as it is just across the street, but it marks the first time that my wife and Wendy went out in public.

This thanksgiving longweekend, we went clothes shopping together. The first store we only browsed the lingerie area, I wound up buying 3 panties for her and a pair of brown tights for myself. The second store we went to I bought 2 panties and a cami. I was looking for a blouse and a skirt, but there was nothing that tickled my fancy.

Since it is close to Halloween, I saw some wigs for $5. I bought a black short bob, and when I tried it on was it ever a disappointment. The strands kept coming loose and there was hair everywhere when I tried to lightly brush it.

Anyways, my wife has been super with my CDing, and I cannot thank her enough.

I should also add, reading the various threads I also keep in mind not to push her too far with CDing.

[Adelaide]

Well you're off a great start with her! Go slowly and you'll be very happy!

[Amy Lynn3]

Congratulations on your first time out. I'm sure you will have plenty of other outings. I'm sure you are the envy of many members here for having a SO, who supports you so well.:love:

[Robin414]

Way to go Wendy, having an accepting SO takes loads of stress off!

[Marcelle]

Hi Wendy,

It is always great to get out and even crossing the road to check out the neighbours house is not small feat, so don't sell yourself short. I am glad to read your wife has settled into a comfortable zone with your CDing but always keep the communication lines open and move forward at a pace that is comfortable for both of you. Thanks for sharing.

Cheers

Marcelle

[SamanthaSometimes]

Im so happy for you Wendy. Having an accepting and supportive wife would be amazing and many here will never obtain. You are very fortunate.

[BillieAnneJean]

Make sure that your SO perceives that her life is better now that she knows. Things like telling her every day that you love her, how much she means to you, open doors, hug her in public, cuddle with her, all WHILE IN GUY MODE. That way you are still the man she married, or better.

[CarlaWestin]

Really great to hear an acceptance story, wendy. I also care for a neighbors house when they vacation and there's a strong temptation to do it dressed. One issue stops that. Security cameras. Also, never get your hopes up with the cheap wigs and stuff that come out around halloween. It's usually single use junk. Good inexpensive wigs can be found on the internet or, just go to a store for a fitting.

But, no matter what, have fun!

[carrie001]

Such a great story! Thanks for sharing!

[Sarah-RT]

Glad things are going well for you Wendy!
Remember though, it's not a competition, just do what makes you comfortable, not what anyone else is doing.

Sarah x

[Elli87]

right on

[Beverley Sims]

Wendy,
I think you have got off to a good start, now, keep it up and don't get too enthusiastic or push the limits too hard. :)

[cdterri]

I believe I'll go with Carla on this one. I hope they don't have cameras set up out of site.

[Pat]

Granted, compared to the other stories from other members it sounds rather lame as it is just across the street, but it marks the first time that my wife and Wendy went out in public.

There's the old saying about the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step, but there's a corollary to that as well -- no step on the thousand mile journey is insignificant. Congratulations on this step.

[Melanie 0339]

Hi Wendy,

Thats brilliant that your other half is understanding ans supportive also it may have just been across the street but the fact you went out into the real world is absolutely amazing i'm so pleased for you xxx

[~Joanne~]

Sounds like your heading down the right trail, take it slow and easy, don't push it on her and don't do it every day of every weekend, you'll be tempted to but the fallout may get a lot worse if you do. Walking across the street may be a small step in the eyes of many here but it's a large step for you, hell, I can't even walk across the street myself so it's huge! I wish you the best of luck, telling her was the hard part.

[ChristinaK]

Wendy, I'm so happy for you that your wife is so accepting. As the others said, take it slow and continue to be the man she married as well. My wife let me wear nightgowns to bed for a while, but I abused the privilege by wearing one every night. She finally through away the nightgowns and gave me a stern warning. Oops! Well, I did it to myself. Women try to support their man, but only to a point. Later, she bought me women's satin PJ's and started letting me wear panties 24/7, so that's a little compromise.

Good luck with your new found freedom in the future. How cool would it be to shop with my wife en femme!

[Jennypowers]

Congrats! tbh I think it's great way to go out I don't think it's lame at all. It's great to have a supportive wife like that, mine is the same.

[Kieroney]

Well lucky you, my coming out to my wife was not good at all, its been since 07 and she is still fighting the conflict with it. Positive side though she will at least talk to me about it. Happy for you one day at a time.

[NicoleScott]

Every CDer should buy a cheap wig, so they'll know never to buy another. Might as well get it over with early on.

[Anne K]

Excellent advice, BillieAnneJean!

[wendy]

Thank you for everyone's kind words.

I informed my wife my next step is makeup, and I've been reading as many makeup threads here to get as much information as possible. I'm ok with putting on lipstick, but anything else requires heaps of info.

One big reason I'm hesitant to go out any distance as Wendy is my 5 o'clock shadow. When we went across the street to check on our neighbour's house, my 5 o'clock shadow was quite prevalent. I do not have plans on doing any sort of electrolysis for body hair, so I'll keep digging around on this forum to see how other's have dealt with the situation.

During a commercial on the season premiere of The Walking Dead, my wife asks me if I feel better coming out about my CDing. I said yes, and she said it must feel like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders. She also asked me how long I've been CDing, and what kind of clothing I had. Remembering people's advice on here to be honest, I told her years, and I had a good vintage collection of 80's aerobics wear (which I really miss).

[Pat]

Five o'clock shadow: look into Dermablend camouflage makeup as a fast fix. If you powder it down after applying it will last though a night out. The more classic fix is to use a reddish makeup over the beard area (for years it was common to use lipstick) which neutralizes the blue of a beard shadow then follow that up with a high-coverage foundation. The lipstick trick requires more practice than just spreading on Dermablend.

[Rachelakld]

I so loved my 80s aerobic collection, even had a specially made leotard.
I used to do aerobics classes at the local gym in my leotard & leggings, back in those days, it was fun.

Now I swim in a one piece with breast forms, I don't bother with beard cover when I swim (I just don't care that I have stubble at the local pools, least my legs are waxed silky smooth)

My day make up - foundation (the cheap stuff, about $12USD) mascara, lipstick. Evenings I add eyeshadow (browns).
My wife and daughters are a good source of advise - daughters spends hours watching online makeup tutorials

[StefaniLara]

Heading outside is a big step. It's exhilarating to leave the safety of the house dressed up, letting your true self out. It's not lame, it's awesome. I'm super jealous that you have a wife who supports you.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Wendy, Congratulations on your positive acceptance,:hugs:
It's like a roll of the dice, You just never know how it's going to turnout. :daydreaming:

[jenniferinsf]

wendy...i am so delighted at your experience and the fact that you wife has accepted and made you feel good....like others have said my wife although fantastic about us two girls still has angst over the internal conflict and will likely always have. i hope you relationship continues as well as ours does