When your best friend suddenly disappears

[JeanetteX]

I am feeling so depressed right now, have even lost the will to dress up. My best friend on the forum suddenly went missing and has not been back here in quite a while. Nor has she responded to my PM's, VM's and messages to her personal email. This while we used to send each other messages on a daily basis, and she used to be logged on almost 24/7. I just know she hasn't left this site out of boredom, work, vacation or anything; she would always have indicated that to me in advance. I am so afraid something real bad has happened and I may never find out what it was if you know what I mean, and that is the thing that probably haunts me the most.

The admins didn't allow me to mention her name because of privacy reasons, but those of you who are keen followers of this forum will perhaps know who I am talking about. Let's just say that she is from a place just south of the US.

She isn't just another friend, we are best friends and share anything, even our biggest secrets. I love her as my own sister that I never had. And I terribly miss her.

Any of you girls ever experienced a same sort of thing? Any suggestions, advice?

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Janette

I am afraid it does happen. People disappear for all sorts of reasons. When you have done all you can its frustrating even if you were really good friends.

Being in a similar position a few years ago I understand how you feel.

I know you will never forget them but you have to consider the possibility they do not want to be found.

We also have to respect peoples choices if they do not want to be here.

[Teresa]

Jeanette,
I had these feelings earlier when joining the forum but eventually most do come back, we don't know every ones circumstances and maybe they choose not to tell us but we all know things happen in our private lives and the forum isn't always a priority !
Try not to get too upset, and don't always think you've overdone your messages !

[Tabitha_Lynn]

Hang in there Jeanette. I am sure she is fine. Maybe she just decided ti take a break. We all know how this hobby is; so it could be just a cycle.

:huggles:

[pamela7]

this is though slightly more serious than a random disappearer given the location, my own personal knowledge of that part of the world, and indeed foreign perception. I think Jeanette is right to be worried, maybe more right than a rule on privacy in this situation.

[Krisi]

I have not experienced this, but in real life, friends have come and gone. It's part of life and we have to get used to it. Facebook has allowed me to reconnect with friends from many, many years ago, but at our age, many of them are no longer with us.

I don't know what to tell you except that life goes on (until it doesn't) and you will make new friends. Perhaps she will reappear, perhaps not. Unless you know someone who knows her in real life, there's no good way to find out if something bad happened to her.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

It seems there is nothing you can do, but wait and hope she surfaces.

I can well understand how worried you must be.

Sincere best wishes to you both,

Nikki

[Eryn]

A cautionary tale that points out the need to establish outside communications channels with our friends. You never know when someone will disappear from the forum for whatever reason.

[Jaylyn]

Jeanette I have had a couple that we communicated with each other almost every day. One we even did a face time while dressed. One disappeared and showed back up to tell me they were just behind on work and couldn't dress till they got caught up. Maybe your friend will show back up but we will hope n pray every thing is ok. I know the place just South of Texas has some major problems and let's hope nothing's wrong.

[Tracii G]

If you have exhausted all your ways of contacting her thats all you can do.
Its happened to me too.
I do hope she is OK and comes back when she wants to.

[Stephanie47]

If you know her true identity and general locale she lives in you may want to do an exhaustive search on the internet. I've lost friends and have found obituaries in small town newspapers or news article concerning serious accidents. It is a reality of life that people do move on.

[bridget thronton]

It is sad I have a few friends from virtual worlds I have known for 8 years - when I know they are leaving we make plans to keep in touch using other channels - sadly there are times when they vanish and do not reappear else where and I do feel a sense of loss from my life.

[Adriana Moretti]

yup gals do that all the time, some come, some go....some come back.....it annoys me too....now i dont get too close to gals cause ive seen too many disappear only to show up 6 months later like nothing happened...it comes with the territory i guess.

[bobbimo]

I've had similar problems with some girls I've met here, and as you mentioned the forum wont let you openly look for them. When I tried to do this, the best advice I got was go to her profile page and PM all her friends to see if they know what has happened to her.
Good luck.
Bobbi

[Krisi]

Maybe she was banned.

[KatieV]

Jeanette - It's a tragic situation as it does appear something has happened to this dear girl. For her sake and for yours I hope and pray that the day will soon come when you are reunited and all is well again. Until then have hope and take good care of yourself.

[IamWren]

I don't know what to say Jeanette. She was a very nice girl here on the forum. Very encouraging and made it easy to talk and feel girly on the threads.

I just can't bring myself to think something bad has happened. Maybe she got called away for work or something very unexpected is taking up her attention and time. I am hoping we hear from her soon and that there is a reasonable explanation.

Still keeping my fingers and toes crossed.

~ Sayyidah

[Robin414]

I don't know what to say Jeanette. She was a very nice girl here on the forum. Very encouraging and made it easy to talk and feel girly on the threads.

I just can't bring myself to think something bad has happened. Maybe she got called away for work or something very unexpected is taking up her attention and time. I am hoping we hear from her soon and that there is a reasonable explanation.

Still keeping my fingers and toes crossed.

~ Sayyidah

I'm with you Sayyidah, I'm still thinking there's a 'good' explanation and she'll be back!

[Lyla]

Life is never linear, it's full of twists and turns when we least expect it. I'm sure she's alright and will get back to you when she can.

Some times we just need time to ourselves, or get annoyed with the attention from others.

[PaulaQ]

Sometimes people purge their stuff and disappear from the forum, deleting things like porn to try to kill this urge. It never works, but lots of us have tried it. That could be what happened here.

[Valery L]

Friends that disappear... the story of my life...

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jeanette, :hugs: I go through the Birthday calendar at the top of the forum banner everyday
and it's amazing how many of the ladies just stop logging in.

So many of my friends that just disappeared from the forum .:daydreaming:

[heatherdress]

I am so sorry for your loss but there is little you can do. People lose contact with close friends, relatives and even family members frequently. Loss of an on-line friend is even more frequent.

I can only suggest that you do not assume anything negative has happened which would cause more sorrow for you. Just appreciate the friendship you shared, accept that they moved on, and develop new friendships.

Also, it is risky to have as your best friend someone you have never met with limited ability to contact. On-line friendships are easy to cultivate, difficult to reinforce, and easy to lose. Be careful.

[Georgia_Maine]

You've tried to contact her via the internet only? Is it possible that she has internet connection problems? It's happened to me. Patience and hope for the best.

[JeanetteX]

You've tried to contact her via the internet only? Is it possible that she has internet connection problems? It's happened to me. Patience and hope for the best.
Thanks for your respons Georgia. I also tried via her personal email but no answers either. Internet connection problems shouldn't last for nearly 2 weeks should they?

Thanks to all you girls for your responses and encouragement

[Robin414]

Two weeks is a long time for an Internet outage now days but given the location and other factors I wouldn't rule it out hon! Not trying to belabor grief (you KNOW I feel your pain sis) but I'm still in the positive camp!

[Beverley Sims]

Jeanette,
I understand your concern but circumstances do take people away for extended periods of time.

Some want a rest, others have family matters to deal with, but most of us do reappear from time to time.

Be patient and things may alter for you too.

[sometimes_miss]

Internet connection problems shouldn't last for nearly 2 weeks should they?

OK. I waited a bit before chiming in. However. Underneath all the pretty things, we're still guys. We don't communicate like women do, nor see relationships as nearly important as they do. Now, I don't know where you two were in your friendship. Or, if both of you saw it the same way; sounds like maybe not. I don't know. But I do know that the male friends in my life don't keep touch unless we have something important to say. I know, I know, we see the young texting back and forth tons of useless crap 'wut you doin' 'I don't know, wut you doin'' all the time. But really adult males, not so much. I might not see someone for a month, then we get together and it's as if it were yesterday. This year I met someone that I tracked down through the net, and we spoke for the first time in 38 years. We picked up right where we left off. Guys do that. Women think it's very weird. So we don't know what's going on with your friend. Unless you have more information to go on, such as a real name to search, there's not much you can do. If you know his IP address you can find out if the internet provider still has his connection as active and ping that. Or maybe his computer crashed and he doesn't remember all the passwords. That happens too. There are lots of possibilities. Unless you want to become a detective, all you can do is hope for the best. However, on thing I do know, is that people often use the same usernames in several internet forums. So you might want to do a search using that username.

Then again maybe they found a cd friendly female on a cruise ship and decided to just jump on with both feet and go. Lets hope that's it.