Points of View

[Veronica27]

No matter what the subject might be, different people have different viewpoints. Seldom is one side totally correct and the other side totally incorrect, but as human beings we tend to argue our own point of view as though it was the only absolutely correct one. Crossdressing is a very good example, as is illustrated every day on this forum, despite the fact that we are here because we are essentially on the same side of the whole issue. I often surf the internet searching for various viewpoints on crossdressing in order to understand not only this phenomenon and my own place in it, but also to try to understand why such divergent opinions can be held by others, who after all represent the majority of the population. Last night I came upon two such blog posts. The first one is by the wife of a crossdresser who is relatively supportive, but she is outlining what she things might be the concerns of many spouses who are hesitant to be totally okay with this, especially about going out with their spouses. The second one is by a crossdresser who is explaining his reasons for being uncomfortable with the categorizing of crossdressing as mostly fetishistic transvestism. His essay is followed by 48 comments in 2b. which cover a wide range of issues, and present a lot of viewpoints on the washroom issue, both pro and con, which is often discussed here from primarily one point of view.

1. http://www.avitale.com/sogoingout.htm

2a. http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2012/10/24/a-crossdressers-lament

2b http://www.thestranger.com/blogs/slog/2012/10/24/15092632/a-crossdressers-lament/comments

Not everyone's negative views on crossdressing should be categorized as bigotry or blind fear. They are deeply ingrained, however from a lifetime of conditioning, that the world is fundamentally a bi-gendered place, and any deviation from the usual practices of society are unnatural and therefore must be the result of something being wrong. Our attempts at gaining acceptance and understanding cannot be achieved unless we ourselves understand the opposing points of view. We are the minority, and the onus is on us to convince the majority, if we want to win the debate.

Veronica

[Teresa]

Veronica,
I still don't get it where people put something in the translation of tranvestism that isn't there ! There's no mention of sexual content or where the CDing takes place, it's simply to wear clothes of the opposite sex !
The point about understanding a TS has a definite need , whereas a CDer floats from one state to another, is always going to confuse people. I feel slightly guilty that I've put my family through a period of wanting to openly dress more and yet I know now that I'm not TS. Whatever and where ever those feelings come from they just won't go away !
As for the rest room/toilet issue I think it's always going to be a contentious point ! I guess we should consider ourselves lucky that most facilities are user friendly, some countries aren't so lucky and in those circumstances men are far luckier with their anatomy !

[pamela7]

i'd say the media in the uk has recently, through TV programmes and newspaper articles, been seeking to make TG mainstream-aware, particularly for transsexuals. Unfortunately the case is quite strong that most CD is sexually-driven and fetishist even if we're not to discuss these aspects on the forum. So when it comes to public conveniences my opinion is quite clear - you go into the restroom matching your body's equipment. The purpose of gendered restroom is to address public fears of sexual assault in vulnerable conditions, and nothing changes as a result of the surface clothing.

[Beverley Sims]

Veronica,
I have just replied on something similar to this in another post.

I must say Your last paragraph explains it well.

[Sarah-RT]

Good topic Veronica.

As an example I'll use let's imagine a small tropical country with little industry apart from forestry. They chop down hundreds of trees to stay profitable to keep people working and tax's lower. However many groups and other countries feel it is a problem with deforestation and begin demanding the cease chopping the trees down.
If we don't live on the island we can argue how bad an impact cutting the trees down is, if we do live on the island and all the work dries up and goes away and we're left starving and impoverished because some far away nations told us not to, who is right?

It's good to have some reality on the forums at times, using the above example I wish to live my life as I see fit, I'm looking after myself by doing so and believe I'm not causing anyone any problems however I can't expect everyone to be supporting or pro Trans/CD/whatever. Arguing is pointless as you say, you'll rarely change another's opinion.
It is a far better idea however to enlighten those who don't know, they are not judging but also don't have any insight, help change their minds and they may do the same with others.

In the west it's easy for us to condemn those who hate on homosexuality or transgendered folk, we wonder why they are so hate filled but it's their choice/right to not be involved. Violence/bullying/abuse I don't support but when someone chooses not to accept us we can't demand they do, it is their forest to chop down.
Likewise with wives, they prefer certain gender norms and can become shocked when the person they are with is not what they thought. In time the machoness of men may subside and we won't be expected to be cold, emotionless statues but if you are sure of yourself and continue ahead and get married and not disclose such information then your asking for a can of worms, either with your partner, or your mentality.