Has cross dressing changed your attitude to GG?

[stockings_jane]

I have to say (as a relative newcomer to cross dressing) that if anything, cross dressing has, in general, increased my admiration for GG.

I really admire a strongly feminine appearance and appreciate how good it makes me feel to look at. However, on the down side, I am more conscious and inwardly critical of those that make no effort and 'waste' their wonderful natural features. This is unreasonable on my part I know, but the relative novelty of beautiful lacy underwear, fine hose, elegant shoes and revealing tops makes me sad that it is not revelled in more by those with the ability to make the most from it!

I need, when in drab, to remember this overly critical attitude and make more effort myself not to be a scruffy oik!

[Katey888]

Jane - I think I understand what you're saying but having experienced this somewhat skewed perspective on the world for some 40-ish <ahem> years, I've been thinking like that for a while now. :)

I can, however, understand how GGs can tire of the expectations to look their best all the time... I guess when you have it, it's easy to be blasé about it, but at the same time, if you've got, why not flaunt it...? (Or at least, work it a bit more...)

It must be strange to be a late developer... I can't imagine what it would be like not to have the feelings that I've always experienced, but there are times when I would have been very happy for them not to have been there... Oh well, it is what it is... :daydreaming:

Katey x

[Cheryl_Layton]

I have a very similar outlook and, at times, would love to 'take over' a neglected woman's body and make her/me a super model. The mitigating factor in their defence is that there must be some ftm's who must look at me in my scruffs and think 'If i had his body, I'd make myself look great!' Even being aware of this, doesn't make me any more dapper except when I'm going out for the evening.

[Adriana Moretti]

yes....now i like them less.......LOL....no I'm kidding...

[Teresa]

Jane,
To put a slightly different slant on it, my wife and I were in an upper gallery of a shopping centre having lunch. I looked down at the shoppers and around at the shops and said to my wife , " We are surrounded by some lovely clothes shops but where do all the nice clothes go because most of the women look like sacks of potatoes !" My wife replied that was a little bit cruel but laughed and said she'd never thought about it but how right it was.

I guess admiration does come into it, a woman does have far more choices of how she can present herself, it is frustrating to see their choices most of the time ! As CDers we feel we should have the right but being accepted for it is a totally different matter !

[Krisi]

The body of your post isn't what I expected when I read the title.

My answer is yes, crossdressing has somewhat changed my attitude towards women and my wife in particular, but it has nothing to do with them "wasting their natural features", it has to do with what women have to put up with and what they are expected to do everyday. Things like cooking, doing the laundry, cleaning house. Things like taking an hour to select an outfit, get dressed, do their hair and makeup while it takes me fifteen minutes.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not an over the top feminist, but your statement about "beautiful lacy underwear, fine hose, elegant shoes and revealing tops" implies that women should spend a lot of time and money dressing to please you and that's pretty selfish. Besides, there are a lot of women in this world who couldn't fit the image you are portraying if they had to. They are still good people.

Perhaps when you mature a bit you will understand a little better.

[BillieAnneJean]

As a late bloomer CDer, I have come to appreciate the work it takes trying to "make a silk purse out of a sow's ear". I can better understand why the GGs are not done up all the time. It is nice to see that they don't routinely get all dolled up when courting because they are presenting closer to what they will look like after marriage. But it is a bit difficult to understand the baggy pants and flip flops. It isn't any more work to wear something a bit more dressy, a bit more feminine such as a skirt or dress maybe with some leggings. One day they will not look good in a skirt or dress and will feel the need to cover themselves up. Will they then regret not taking advantage of all the fun outfit choices when they could have worn?

[Jennifer0874]

I think it's really helped me accept everyone for who they are. My wife tends to exhibit many characteristics that many would consider masculine. She rarely wears skirts, dresses, make up. Instead of thinking she's wasting her femininity, I understand that it's okay to have traits of the opposite gender.

[stockings_jane]

Krisi,

"Perhaps when you mature a bit you will understand a little better."

Was that meant to be deliberately insulting Krisi or was it just a fatuous ill considered remark?

Odd also, that cross dressing should be the catalyst that drew your attention to "cooking, doing the laundry and cleaning house". I did not require to make any changes in my life to be aware that in our house it is not woman's work regardless of sex or how one is dressed but rather it is work to be undertaken by either and both. Strange to see such a sexist remark from a cross dresser.

[mikeyp]

Well, I think a lot of it is because they have to and have lived as women their whole lives. Being a woman is all they know, so the clothes to women are just that, clothes. Women more than often dress for either 1. style, or 2. to appease men as they are expected to. That also doesn't discount men though. If your average man would hit the gym and gain at least some sort of a sense of style, he'd likely see his rate of success with women going >>>>. :)

I mean, I won't lie. Women to me have always been just bodies and clothes to attract a mate. I objectify them even when crossdressed. I'm really trying to get past this in my head though.

[pamela7]

I have more understanding, empathy for example for why they might be walking slower, I admire the effort put into looking good, well matched clothing, I am more appreciative of the female role in society.

I also have less respect for men, generally, I must say, though I have a better understanding of why so many men are assholes. I like Captain America a lot more. :-)

[Teresa]

Jane,
I have to agree with you a comment about maturity was not called for, you were expressing an opinion which many of us as CDers do think about, we would love the chance to dress when and where we choose with the same freedom . OK it is a biased point of view but not an immature one !

[Sarah Beth]

I don't think my crossdresssing has had any effect on my attitude toward GG. I have admiration and respect for those women who deserve it just as I always have. Some of the comments here have centered on how women dress and while I can appreciate a woman who is dressed classy I grew up in an area where most of the girls unless there was some special occasion wore blue jeans. I can appreciate side of them too. In fact the first two times I saw my wife, before we started dating she was in blue jeans and cowboy boots.

My grandmother was widowed pretty early in her life and worked at job that most considered only a man could and should do, she was an example to me of what a woman can accomplish. My mom always had a job and worked and was a leader and set a really good example for me as well in my ideas and admiration for women. My wife worked help raise her younger siblings and worked hard got good grades and a scholarship to college. She had to put up with a lot of things along the way that I didn't to get what she wanted. So I think those things already my mind set in what my attitudes were and are.

[Tracii G]

I have always thought women were special.
CDing has raised my appreciation of them.
I do have a problem with the ratchet women.

[Robin414]

I don't think it has but only because I've alway been a 'huge fan of the feminine condition' so to speak. Mind you, since beginning to 'walk the talk' I sometimes feel I'm not worthy, like I don't have the right to be a girl...a real kick in the confidence I have to admit!

@Cheryl, great point on the FTM perspective BTW!

[CynthiaD]

There was a time, years ago, when I was put off by good looking ladies who wore crummy clothes and made no effort to look their best. But after a few years of going out in public en femme my attitude changed. If I can wear whatever I want to wear, why can't she wear whatever she wants to wear? So, we're really in the same boat.

[Buttercup's Princess]

I feel like my BF's CD affects the way I look as a gg. I either look real nice or I look like I'm homeless. I only see him once a week, so it's easy for me to look real nice for him. I've started wearing a bit of eye make up on special occasions because I know that he likes it, ...when he notices it! I told him used a touch of his eyeshadow on the weekend, when he noticed his colour pallet was out, and that seemed to get him all giggly. His reaction was cute and it makes me want to look nice and I do feel prettier and more confident for myself when I have on a little make up. It's nice to finally have a partner that is worth dressing up for.
The days when I look like I'm homeless, well, I blame being a mother, though I still did that before I had a child. I don't know, I just like dressing down at times. In my 20s, dressing down was a form of protection I had for myself to avoid attracting attention for groups of aggressive men. I still get comfort out of it. I have a large masculine side that I don't really like taking accountability for, but that could be part of it too.

[Dana44]

Crossdressing has improved my drab appearance as I think about that now. My SO has some male traits but I must say that when we go out. She does her best to look as good as I am trying to dress. I seriously respect that and have told her how I appreciate it. She agreed that she tries and it makes it so much better for us. So, its good to know that when we dress up for dinner or a movie that we do take our time to look the best we both can. I love her for her traits. She has a masters in psychology and is really good in English and she helps edit my novels. I do appreciate a woman that dress for something. I saw one at a store one time and she was dressed very well. I'm sure she went in to pick up something for a date or a party. But we sure do notice when they are dressed nice.

[MissTee]

Dressing helped me to admire and appreciate them more -- assuming that's possible.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jane, I've always had respect and admiration towards females.:daydreaming:

[Laurana]

Admiration? No.



Understanding? Yes.

I now understand why it seems to take them forever to get ready.

[Joe Ann Miles]

Hi Jane.

Have Always admired and loved GG`s, i even married one :-)

Think it`s natural that you / some of us, feel that it`s sad when GG`s not look there best. .-) As CD`s i think it`s the shortage, of our own posibilities to look beautiful 24/7 that mayby makes us feel this. ?

But i respect GG` and male, as they are, and dreaming of beeing respected, also as a CD male.

Hugs Joe Ann

[Dana L]

I see where you are coming from, but I think maybe it's a feeling of "If I had that body and face". Kind of like seeing a Corvette going down the road in need of a detailing. Let's face it it's a lot of work to look your best 24/7 especially if your just running out to the store. So yes my attitude has changed, I can appreciate the effort it takes to be a woman.

[lexi0922]

GG here...lol. I know my bf has said ever since he started exploring his fem side, he said he now really really appreciates and respects my devotion to getting ready everyday... It takes me an hour to get ready everyday...even just for work...20mins on makeup, 40 straightening my hair lol. He always has admired how I take care of my appearance....but now he has a real understanding and appreciation. 😁

I always thought it was sweet that he's never yelled at me for taking to long like men in previous relationships have... I've been doing the same routine for 11 years, everyday...doubt it's going to change lol.

[Lorileah]

I find it interesting how many, including the GGs, have focused on looks. Especially how long it takes to get ready and certain items like makeup.

How about how women are treated in public? How men (several here) only see the physical side? I know women who can be ready and out the door in the same time her male partner takes. And they don't look unattractive. How did it change my view of women? Withing days of being online I was shown that men don't see women as anything but targets, sexual targets. Within hours of being in public I saw how men see women as conquests and how some can corner you and make you very vulnerable. I still see how men in online poker sites don't take women seriously (and I DO take advantage of that, trust me).

The whole "golly, now I know why I had to wait three hours for you to get ready...Looking good is hard" stuff is Bull. Look at what it takes for women to play in your world and how much harder they have to work to be there because men don't see them as equal

[AngelaYVR]

Having a daughter changed my outlook more; but one thing that CDing has opened my eyes to is the nonsense women put up with from creepy guys.

[Angela Marie]

I like many others started out wearing women's clothes and thinking it was merely a fetish. As I became more sensitive to my feminine side I began to be more empathetic to the issues women face in their everyday life. I still love dressing but embracing my femininity whether dressed or not was a vital part of my growth.

[stockings_jane]

Very interesting reading thank you all!

I note the gentle chiding for being a bit too focussed on appearance on my part and it's fair comment. I have to say that I am constantly cognisant of just how wonderful women are, and not just in appearance, so no arguments there.

It is however, generally recognised that males are stimulated visually, unlike GG who apparently take a more holistic view, so I can't help myself being a bit obsessed with beautiful feminine looks!

[mikeyp]

Having a daughter changed my outlook more; but one thing that CDing has opened my eyes to is the nonsense women put up with from creepy guys.

I'm a CDer and a creepy guy :(

[PaulaQ]

You aren't going to understand how it is to be a woman until you really live as one. Being able to switch back to boy-mode when the going gets tough is going to teach you very little, in all likelihood. Wanna learn something about what it's like? Here's a small example. Try going to a computer store with a guy, and watch the salespeople totally ignore you, to talk to him. This happens to me all the time when I'm with my boyfriend. (This is also hilarious to watch, I'm a software engineer. My boyfriend is a cop and a self-described "big dumb lug about computers.")

BTW, why is this "attitude to GG?" and not "attitude towards women?" Do trans women not count? Are we not "real women" in your view. Or do you believe we all start out as CDs? (Hint: We do not. Some of us do, many never wear women's clothes until they are months into transition.)

It's fine to ask the cisgender significant others of CDs or TSs questions about how they deal with their partner's gender issues. One could argue (not always correctly, btw), that trans women might deal with those issues differently. Or at least that the whole "surprise - I dress like a woman" conversation was way less likely in such a situation.

But stuff like this is really insulting and transphobic. Thanks for highlighting that we aren't "real women."

[stockings_jane]

Apologies Paula, there was no intention to offend. It was, however, not transphobic it was merely careless.

[Crissy Kay]

Not in my case, as most women do not like to dress the way I do.

[flatlander_48]

I wouldn't say change my attitude, but it has increased my understanding. When I go out dressed, I am fearful of many of the same things that women are. Sadly, there are a lot of crazies out there...

DeeAnn