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View Full Version : One door closes, another opens.



Taragirl427
10-15-2015, 12:20 PM
Its been a while since I posted here. Some of you might recall my marital troubles. They're by no means unique. I am posting this to say that my marriage has failed, and my wife is leaving me. As much as I hate it, especially with a child involved, I almost feel relieved. For the first time in my life I am able to be who I am without much regard for anyone else's input. I am transgender, I know that now. Its taken a long time to realize how far all this went but now I know. I probably wont ever be completely out...I have too many people I care too much about who wouldnt understand. One major change has been that, with the exception of those certain people, I dont care what anyone else thinks about me. It is liberating to be able to spend my personal time in the way I feel most comfortable, and it is wonderful to venture out a little more as I grow more comfortable by the day. So despite all the pain of this experience I am hopeful. For the first time in longer than I can remember, I feel happy. One door closed, but a much more wonderful one has opened for me. Thanks for reading.

pamela7
10-15-2015, 12:26 PM
congratulations really, being yourself, with others who can accept you as you are, its the best way, good luck xxx

Robin414
10-15-2015, 12:32 PM
Thank you for sharing that Tara! My sincerest condolences for the marriage part but I'm SOOOO happy you've found the silver lining, one step back but TWO steps forward!

docrobbysherry
10-15-2015, 12:37 PM
Unfortunately, when I hear someone saying, "I don't care what anyone thinks about me"? I hear, "I'm TRYING not to care what anyone thinks about me".

Because we ALL care. Except for the few complete sociopaths among us!:straightface:

Hang in there, Tara. I hope it all comes out ok in the end!:thumbsup:

mikeyp
10-15-2015, 12:42 PM
@docrobsherry

AMEN babe, amen!

Taragirl427
10-15-2015, 12:45 PM
I have honestly noticed that I really don't care about what most people think of me. Of course there are still exceptions, but I have recently realized that I'm comfortable with not hiding this part of me around those who don't have any other point of reference. Additionally, I am caring less and less about the opinions of those acquaintances that arent in my innermost circle of loved ones.

Alice_2014_B
10-15-2015, 01:30 PM
I kind of know how you feel, about the marriage ending; however, we had no children in my case.
Sometimes odd how things work.
:)

heatherdress
10-15-2015, 02:01 PM
Sorry about your past marriage but I am glad you seem to have found relief, awareness and freedom. Your life is yours and live it as fully as you can. I think the greatest regrets in life are often the things we don't do - lost opportunities. Move on, learn, grow, develop, experience. I am glad you feel happy.

Jennypowers
10-16-2015, 10:43 AM
Very sorry to hear of your marriage. I'm glad that despite that you have found joy in a bad situation. Good luck to you in all that you do from here on out.

Taragirl427
10-16-2015, 12:27 PM
Thank you to everyone who has expressed their support for me during this trying time. It really means a lot.

Cheryl_Layton
10-16-2015, 12:42 PM
It's always sad to hear of a marital breakdown, whatever the reasons. But least you can now forge a new future for yourself; hopefully one that brings you inner peace and happiness.
However, please, please do your utmost to ensure that the child's needs are fully catered for. They didn't ask to be brought into the world and it's important that their lives are not disrupted any more than is necessary. I have two of my own and fully consider their needs where my dressing is concerned.

Good luck for the future.

Cheryl x

Melissa in SE Tn
10-16-2015, 01:47 PM
Enjoy your new circumstances, but remember that your losses will take time to fully digest. Your child needs to be your ultimate joy & concern. Keep the faith, peace, mel

missdanie
10-16-2015, 02:02 PM
Hi, there, Taragirl,

I'm not familiar with your story, as I've just returned after a few years away. However, I've also been through the end of a marriage, and I also had (well, I still have him!) a child. Even when ending a marriage is the right thing to do, and even when it presents opportunities that were not possible before, it's hard. Change is hard. Finding new ways to do old things is hard. Not hiding behind another person's desires is hard. So my best wishes to you as you gather your strength.

One thing, a decade later, that I have never regretted doing, was keeping my son's needs paramount. When it meant rebuilding a different kind of partnership with his father, or making my schedule weird, or putting some of my plans on the backburner for a bit, I decided that these were things I could control and take pride in. The kid's in college now and we're reaping the rewards of that relationship. I wish you that very same happiness.

BLUE ORCHID
10-16-2015, 05:55 PM
Hi Tara, Good for you, just because the marriage ended don't mean that your life is over
think of it as a new beginning, The divorce was the first day of your new life.:hugs:

Ally 2112
10-17-2015, 05:15 PM
Wish you all the best .I have also been through the marriage ending situation .Take some time figure out what is best for you and your child and go for it !. Be happy :)

Dana44
10-17-2015, 06:50 PM
Sorry your marriage failed. I had a ten year time of being single in my forties and they were the best years of my life. Got married again and it failed, lost a ranch and all of my property but and finally my job. However, things work out for the best. I now have GF and she loves me. I came out to her and she supports me in this lifestyle.

Angie G
10-17-2015, 07:20 PM
Glad your happy being yourself. And wish you well on your new path in life.:hugs:
Angie

Tracii G
10-17-2015, 07:38 PM
Being free is much better than being tied down in a relationship any day.
Ive been thru it twice so I know what you are feeling.

Katey888
10-18-2015, 06:02 AM
I'm sorry to hear that too, Tara... :hugs:

While we are all (mostly) strangers here, I feel that many of us can feel the stress and pain that others feel and through that there is some understanding of what you're going through... breaking up is never easy, but in many cases it is the right thing to do for everyone - time will heal...

And you have a positive view already, which is a great way to move forward... :)

Chin up girl! Keep Calm & Carry On! :D

Katey x

Marcelle
10-18-2015, 07:23 AM
Hi Tara,

I am sorry to read about the dissolution of your marriage. Hopefully with time and healing you can still be a positive force in your child's life. I am gladdened by your optimism though as it shows strength that you can see a silver lining in all this . . . so good luck as you move forward and remember we are all here for you.

Cheers

Marcelle

livefree83
10-20-2015, 09:33 PM
Hi Tara,

Sorry to hear about your marriage ending. Don't think of it as an end, but a new beginning.

Good luck on your journey!! :)

carrie001
10-20-2015, 10:04 PM
Sorry to hear about your marriage...but congrats on your new found attitude. "When one door closes, another opens...." Yup, it's a door, that's how they work. :)