Positivity

[Debb]

So .. let's post positive little things that happen to us, shall we?

I'll start: today I had to run to the local Claire's (where I got my ears pierced) to purchase some more supplies. The store is run by a 21-year-old named Sheyenne, and she knows me, but she wasn't there today. In her place there were two very young women (probably late high school age).

I went into the store, and I asked for some ear-cleaning solution. You should have seen the look of surprise on the kids' faces ... but they recovered nicely, and when I cashed out, they both piped up, "Have a nice day ma'am!" Their smiles were genuine.

Two awesomes: a) I was taken for a woman by appearance, and b) "Ma'am" never felt so good.

[Abby Kae]

That's a good encounter, Deb! I told you that you blend in very nicely!

[PretzelGirl]

Last night I was at a vigil for a young transgender woman who threw herself in front of a truck. It has me going through a lot in my mind as these things do. At the end of the remembrance, a young person (he isn't sure if he is gender neutral or a transman but prefers he as a pronoun) approached me and my friends and said that the woman was his only transgender friend and he felt alone. Six of us went out with him for coffee and chatted for hours. You could see him light up and smiling and it re-engaged me on how beautiful self discovery can be. I have a new friend and he is not in isolation.

[Kimberly Kael]

This past week we were on a tropical vacation where several days tested my comfort levels. On one in particular from dawn until dusk I had little or no makeup and not much in the way of clothing. It started with a surfing lesson, proceeded straight to lunch with surf hair, then to the spa for a luxurious shower in the women's locker room leading to a facial. For dinner I'll admit I did brush on a touch of mascara but otherwise it was just me and a light breezy dress ... and it was all just that simple and easy. The most challenging new idea for anyone around me seemed to be the notion that I was married to another woman. No misgenderings. No strange looks that I noticed. Plenty of smiles and human connection, including some idle chatter with another woman at the morning lesson.

I'd say I could get used to life like this but in practice I guess I already have. It still surprises me from time to time but mostly it just is what it is.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Building up those positive moments is a great way to feel good about yourself and what you are doing... Getting your gender reflected back towards you is very positive and empowering

[Eryn]

I spent yesterday with friends at a Woman's Expo at the LA Convention Center.

We had a great time, sampled several wines and liquors, bought jewellery, and even tried on a dress at the insistence of the designer who wanted to see "what it would look like on a tall woman." I have so many samples of "age reversing" creams on my hands and arms that I'm about to enroll them in preschool. There were speakers, demonstrations of cooking, sewing, fitness, and baking. I didn't partake of the hair and makeup makeovers or manicures, but dozens of women did.

Afterward, we went to a late lunch at El Cholo, a historic restaurant located few blocks from Staples Center. I had a wonderful bowl of tortilla soup and a chili rellano.

We retired to our friend's house to watch a couple of episodes of I Am Jaz and then headed to Claim Jumper for a decadent chocolate dessert.

Throughout, I felt comfortable in myself and confident in my ability to behave appropriately in a female manner in all situations. This skill (actually, many skills) was developed through experience with quite a lot of mentoring by Mimi, Persephone, and others. Being able to do this gives me confidence to take my transition further.

In amateur radio there is an informal social role called an "Elmer." This person is a friendly mentor to a new amateur and gently guides them over the rough spots in order to help them be successful. I've been lucky to have had a number of "Elmers" in the TG world who helped me celebrate my positives and who gently corrected me I was doing something wrong. I owe them all innumerable big hugs.

Today, we went to breakfast with one of my few friends who doesn't know Eryn. I was in my normal print T-shirt and denim Capris, which pass as cargo shorts in male mode. I was wearing stud earrings and my hair was tied back.

Afterward we went shopping at Macy's for some Betsy Johnson earrings to give to my daughter for her birthday. We were helped by the clerk and even though I hadn't changed my appearance from breakfast the clerk called me "Ma'am" and used female cues throughout our conversation. When I went to pay Mimi jumped in with her credit card to avoid me being outed to the clerk by my ID. I wasn't terribly concerned about this, but it is important to Mimi so I followed her lead.

Being taken as female is happening more and more often in my "normal" life and I see it as part of my natural progression.

[Michelle789]

A lot of drama happened this weekend, mostly involving my car and L.A. traffic, but I'll focus on the positive things and not on my car and the Carmageddon disaster that occurred on Friday.

1. On Friday, my car stopped working, and I used Uber to make a trip to the LGBT Center pharmacy in Hollywood so I could pick up my hormones refill. Uber has a policy that you have to use the name on your credit card as your profile name, so that means my birth name (ugh!!!). When I got in the car, I introduced myself as Michelle. I just told the driver that I go by a name different than the one on my credit card. He then asked me if I was transgender, and I said yes. He was totally cool. He happily called me Michelle, and congratulated on my transition. He also told me how beautiful I am. He is an immigrant from China who looks like he is in his early 30s or late 20s, and is new to L.A. It made me feel good that a cis man could be accepting towards a transgender woman, and for his compliments (maybe he was hitting on me haha). He seemed really, really nice, and was good company on our way to Hollywood. We were lucky that we didn't get caught up in Carmageddon, since we were going in the opposite direction of the backed up freeway. Yes, we saw all the drama there. This was also my first time using Uber.

2. I also ended up taking the train back to North Hollywood. It was my first time taking the train on my own. No incidents. Just a smooth ride to get home.

3. Cody and I took Uber later that night to go to my AA meeting. I received compliments from a couple of the women there on my appearance, and I got to catch up with people since I haven't been to that meeting in three weeks. A close friend of mine, who also has becomes friends with Cody, gave us both a ride back to my place. This guy is super nice, and has been 100% supportive since I came out last year. He also immediately changed my name to Michelle in his contact list.

4. Cody and I spent the night together at my place on Friday night. We had dinner, and then a little bit of quality time. Cody also told me how beautiful I am. We had a romantic evening, morning, and early afternoon, before he headed off to work.

5. Cody went with me to drop the car off at my mechanic on Saturday. The mechanic couldn't take my car on Friday because I came too late (11 am) and he was booked. He asked me to come in at 8 am on Saturday. I said 8:30, and he said "no, 8" and that by 8:30 he will probably be booked with too many cars. So Cody and I went there at 8 am. It looked pretty obvious that there was a big line and that if we had come any later he would not be able to take my car in. Cody said he got good vibes from my mechanic, whom he had met for the first time, and believes he is an honest mechanic. Yay!!! Also, my mechanic, who had known me as a guy, was very accepting. When I came out to him last summer, he let me change my name to Michelle on his records even though I haven't legally changed my name yet. He always addresses me as Michelle and by female pronouns.

6. I got the car back later on Saturday. I only paid for an oil change, and the rest of the repair was free because he had replaced the part that was causing my car to not work 6 months earlier and it was under warranty, hence he has to replace it for free. Yay!!!

7. Later on Saturday, I went to Trader Joe's to do grocery shopping. I bumped into this guy I had met at my homeopathic doctor. I met him, his wife, and his dog a few weeks ago. He said that his wife told him to "say hi to the girl in the boots." Yay, he and his wife took me as a girl.

8. When I checked out, the male cashier (a young, 20s something male) asked me "you're the lady with the boyfriend who is gluten intolerant." Yay!!! He took me as a woman. I remember once telling him about how my boyfriend has food allergies and how I always look for food that Cody can eat when I'm shopping. Trader Joe's actually accommodates Cody's food allergies quite well.

9. I went to Target today to get a new garbage can. I met this couple, and they were talking about how it was the husband's birthday in a few days. I wished him Happy Birthday. I had placed my trash can, which was a fancy looking silver can with a step on to open the lid. The woman in the couple said "we should get something like what she's getting." I asked her if she was referring to the garbage can, and we started talking trash cans. But most importantly, she saw me as a girl. Yay!!!

I see a pattern of cis men who are accepting of me being trans, and of being gendered properly.

[gonegirl]

So .. let's post positive little things that happen to us, shall we?

BREAKING BAD SPOILER ALERT!
OK. Last week I was pretty sick, so I binge watched Breaking Bad. Loved it! Watched the finale of season 5 on Friday.... the final season. Felt pretty bummed after that.... what with Walt getting fatally shot and all.... but... I then found out they are presently in production of season 6! I guess he survived. Awesome! :)

[becky77]

I went to my first speech and language therapy session, she said such nice things about me I could cry, I really needed that pick me up :)

[arbon]

re: breaking bad = great show! I hope they don't bring it back let him just be dead finally.

My ex was out of town this weekend so got to go to her house and use her wi fi and tv (neither of which i currently have) and started watching sense8 again - really like it!

[Eringirl]

so, positive: had an appointment with my Endo yesterday and she confirmed all my blood panels are exactly where they are and confirmed my dosages for Estradiol and sent me away with the script for the dosage I was hoping for. The day was not without some trials and tribulations to the point I didn't think I was going to get the prescription, but it was mostly paperwork and she was finally able to resolve it. And then, the drugstore said they were out, and it would be two days. That really was a bummer. But then they phoned my at home about an hour later and said they finally found it, and it was ready to be picked up. I was so happy, I celebrated by having 2 hours of electrolysis!!!! :eek: Ick, I really do need to get out more!! :D

So, here we go!! Definitely a good reason for a happy dance!! :dance:

[arbon]

congratulations Erin :)

[Eryn]

Finally got on 3-month prescriptions and the FedEx man brought my Giant Box o' Estradiol today! :heehee:

252170

So glad that we no longer have to coordinate the doctor, insurance company, and pharmacy every month!

[karenpayneoregon]

Last weekend I decided that new boots where in order for the current season so I went to the local Macy's were they had a decent sale going on. Upon entering the shoe department I was greeted by a sale's person who was very professional, did not get in my face and let me be but I noticed she kept looking my way. After about ten minutes of browsing I signaled her over, said I would like to try two different boots. She came back with them and while leaving the boots said "I had a pair of those last winter and loved them" I smiled and thanked her but did not bring up the fact I also had the same pair. I spent about sometime walking around in the boots then got her attention again to purchase.

At the register she said if there are any issues with these boots don't hesitate to call me. I took the paper with the number, placed it in the bag and went back home. After pulling the boots out I was ready to toss the paper with her number until I saw a note that she would like to take me out sometime and that the number was her personal number. My guess is she is mid-thirties, a little young for me but did call her the next day and ended up going to a local bar for drinks and a light meal and chatted for about two hours. I could tell she wanted more but I politely indicated I was only interested in friendship at this point in time and she said that she could work with me on that. We do have plans to meet up again on Sunday as I am busy today and she works tomorrow and I go out with my Miata car club on Saturday.

It's not everyday one can walk into a store have a sales person be so bold but discrete too.

[Carlene]

Nice story Deborah. It is always nice to be treated with dignity and respect, don't you think? Thank you for brightening my day.

Carlene

[Marcelle]

Hi all,

Not a big thing but at least a bit of positive compared to last week. There is a woman at work (military member) whom I recognized from my last posting. We were talking a few weeks back and I indicated I remembered her from my last posting and she was a bit confused. I indicated I was a "guy" back then and then she said she would give it some thought and see if she remembered me. I was working out at the gym on Friday and she was there. She approached me halfway through my workout and indicated she thinks she remembered seeing me in the gym at our old building to which I replied that is right. Then she asked are you the one who would have those marathon rope jumping sessions for an hour to which I replied "yes". She then looked at me, grabbed my arm and give it a light squeeze and said "I didn't recognize you because you never smiled in that building and now you smile all the time which is far nicer" . . . I think it was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me :)

Cheers

Marcelle

[PretzelGirl]

Aw, Marcelle. That is it! We should be smiling. Authenticity should give us a level of peace. If we want to know if we are on the right path, that is one of the signs!

[becky77]

Had my first eyebrow shaping and tint today, I didn't have much to work with from years of plucking but they look great and made me feel good.
Even better was the enjoyment of the experience, just being me and getting some pampering was good. I love the chatter in Salons.

I am turning into a TOWIE girl lol, LVL eyelashes next maybe!

If you don't know TOWIE google it, hey I'm proud of my roots.

£400 for Tattooed eyebrows hmmmmm.