Being a mythical creature

[Meghan4now]

I feel like a mythical creature some times.

While Kandi and I were out in the (mostly) vanilla world of conservative suburban mall MAC counter, we met people and we're observed. First were the girls at MAC. My artist/SA had never worked on a male client before, and I don't think the other girl she was consulting with had either. I worked at relaxing her and pointing out challenge areas. In conversation, I mentioned my wife and kids. She was a little surprised. Later, Kandi brought another Artist by that hadn't been there when I arrived. His name was Roderick, and he does makeup for drag queens. He did not help though, but that is probably giving Jasmine her space and respect to handle the job. He did make suggestions on where to go later, and had a list of gay bars, most of which I already had heard of, and some I'd been to with cross port. I know I got looks by other passing patrons. One of those times you wish you could read minds.

Anyway, I got the feeling that most everyone assumed that I might be gay, which is reasonable given the stereotypical expectation. But even with Roderick, I almost felt like he was a bit surprised. A married hetero CD! Here in River City! A mystical beast! I've heard of such a thing!

Now I know this topic has been beat to death, and WE all know that such a beast exists, but it was interesting to try to read people's reactions. I think we are still unicorns to the world, and you know what, I'm ok with that.

But I'd rather be the mystical beast than the mythical beast. My special power is to make you smile. With warm loving rainbow farts :)

How about you, do you want to be a mythical or mystical beast?

[pamela7]

are you saying the unicorn (Eunuch-Horn) is the mythical beast, and the hetero CD the mystical one?

how about both? I'm a werewolf CD :-)

[Meghan4now]

Not at all. I'm saying is while surprising people that, as CD, I'm straight does not bother me, I would rather see enough of us out there to dispell us as a myth. And second of all to do a better job of my mission in life, make people feel better having shared a conversation.

[lexi0922]

My bf is a hereto CD and I love him to death and 100% support his CDing. I've already bought him a wig, breast enhancers and a few outfits 😁

[michelleddg]

Interesting topic. I'm long married and way straight. I'm out only to a handful of service providers and a small handful of peeps on this web site. Those who know Michelle know Fred as well and know I'm schizo; girly girl but manly interests and pursuits. When I make the acquaintance of a new service provider (makeup artiste, hair stylist, nail tech, etc.) I'm usually quite chatty and being married and heterosexual come out quickly. To be honest, I don't recall that ever being surprising to anyone. The peeps are certainly savvy to this, as are most or all of the makeup artistes; they've seen it all before. The most common reaction I get, I suppose, is the surprise and delight that a dude can clean up nicely and be presentable as a chick.

When the conversation does develop, it's usually along the lines of how I differ from Caitlyn Jenner. ("I don't know why I do this. I'm definitely a dude, but this is in my DNA. Caitlyn is a chick.")

I have a small handful of gay friends but that aspect of their lives is totally peripheral to our relationship. I confess I've never been inside a gay bar.

So, while I'm in no way an activist at least my contributions to dispelling the myth are directionally right. Hugs, Michelle

[Kate Simmons]

I'm both mythical and mystical and tend to create my own adventures. Works for me. ;):)

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Meghan,
The problem is... We can't choose how the people we encounter will perceive us.
Mythical or Mystical? It's totally out of our control.
I have been noticed by a few people while out and about that definitely had a
look of amazement on their face, like they had just encountered some
sort of mystical creature. Most of them have had a big smile on their face, and
that gleem in theiir eyes.
I am truly happy knowing that I made them feel that way.
But I have also seen people who were shocked to see me, like they never thought
I actually exsisted.
I couldn't care less if they thought that I was gay, if they had any desire to get to
the truth, all they need to do is ask. I think after a short conversation their would at least
be a clearer idea of who, and what I am!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[AngelaYVR]

Meghan, it's because the only cross dressed creatures seen in real life by most people are drag queens. I'm certain that most of the people I interact with would assume that I'm gay - assuming that they assume anything at all! If the occasion arises, I will mention my wife and/or kids. I'm not worried too much about it as it has no bearing on my day, I'm more interested in that people get to see that we are normal people, doing normal things and with exquisite taste in clothing :daydreaming:

[Meghan4now]

Thanks Michelle. I'm relatively new to going out in the world, and so far, most of my out experience has been at CD oriented events or service providers. Maybe I read this wrong? My other source of data is attitudes/reactions I've observed from people that don't know I'm out, so the data is skewed to statistically "Normal" population , and of course my wife who still doesn't know what to make of me.

As far as gay bars, again they tend to be trans friendly. And anymore, often far less LBGT specific than they used to be.

Your observations add good insight.

Wow, sorry all the other observations are great too! They just poured in while I was answering Michelle!

[SherriePall]

I've been there. I can't remember how many sales people and make-up artists I have thrown for a loop because my wedding band symbolizes my marriage to my wonderful wife. And then when I start talking about the children (plural plus) and the grandchildren, well.....
This has happened even with those who have worked with male clients before, usually drag queens, though.
Hey, that's the way it is. We (crossdressers) are probably in the same proportion as the general population although you wouldn't think so by the reactions we get when out and about.

[Kandi Robbins]

Not sure which I am, but my experiences so far (admittedly over a very short period of time, but I have done quite a lot) have been wonderful. While Meghan was having her experience, I was wandering around Nordstroms talking with SAs in virtually every women's department. I had a blast and was well received. This past Sunday, me and 9 other gals (all GGs except yours truly) had a wonderful time at a Sephora Beauty Class. No one gave me a second look, we all chatted about how each looked while working on our highlighting and contouring. I even got a few who liked my lipstick, asking what type and color it was. Walked around the mall and got barley a glance (that I was aware of). I really believe if you are just yourself, people warm immediately to you. Sure, there will be exceptions, but on the whole, people just want honesty and a smile.

[Victoria Demeanor]

Hey Ms M,
I really wanted to add something insightful here, but my experience in the vanilla word is limited, at least as Victoria and in this topic. I kind of think you are right, how people who have never had interaction with folks like us would simply assume. I get what you are saying, River city needs more enlightenment and less marching bands. This might take a while though as most people still think male flight attendants or male nurses have to be gay.......

Okay really I wanted post to say that if I'm going to be some magical, mythical, mystical creature, I want to be a mermaid. I mean unicorns are alright and all, but Mermaids are better...... ;)

[reb.femme]

Only to say too that I have seen the jaws drop in disbelief that I am in fact hetero. It was plain to see the heads nodding in agreement as I explained the situation, but their expressions read complete disbelief.

Still, I don't care that they think this. If you can open the door to people's minds just a fraction, then some good has come from being thought of as a liar :heehee:.

Rebecca

[Samantha2015]

Since I'm still in the closet I guess that makes me mythical ??

[S. Lisa Smith]

I've been married 40 years and have two sons and a grand daughter. I am straight as an arrow, and certainly can't explain why I love to dress as a woman. I just have fun with it!!

[Jenniferathome]

Meghan, you change minds one at a time. You CHANGED some minds. I'll call that success.

[Robin414]

...With warm loving rainbow farts :)

How about you, do you want to be a mythical or mystical beast?

I'd rather be a unicorn than a sasquatch (although sasquatch does get more street cred I think) 😊 Rainbow fart nothing, how about Rainbow poop....it's ice cream people!

I saw this one from a member here a while ago and laughed my behind off and my apologies I can't find the OP thread to give credit!

https://youtu.be/YbYWhdLO43Q

[docrobbysherry]

The thing is, Meghan? If u hang around with other unicorns, THEY know that most of themselves r NOT gay.

And, the only reason I dress and go out is to hang with other dressers.

Now, when I REALLY want to feel like a mythical creature among unicorns? All I have to do is become Sherry! Then, many of them act like I've suddenly developed Ebola!:eek:

[Krisi]

The common public belief about crossdressers is that they are either gay or want to have surgery and become women. It's been this way since the beginning of time and I think most of us who have told our wives about our little hobby were asked the same questions; Are you gay? Do you want to become a woman?

The Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner thing hasn't helped, if anything it has made things worse because of the magazine cover and TV show.

Reading this forum, those of us who are heterosexual males and intend to stay that way find out that a good number of crossdressing members here are in fact gay or want to become women. That's a bit disturbing.

In any event, it's doubtful that any of us can change the public's perception and we are fighting some strong forces if we try. All we can do is be ourselves and be as pleasant as possible to people we meet or deal with.

[Meghan4now]

Interstingly enough, I've been told that courses in human sexuality (psychology) teach that most CDS Are heterosexual, and the classes have been teaching that for a long time, certainly since the 80's. But since those students never actually Met a hetro CD (as far as they know ;) ), the hetro cd is a myth, like the Loch Ness monster or unicorn.

[Katey888]

Oh yes please! I would love to be Medusa - preferably the Uma Thurman type... she had some style... :D (And there's a few folk around I could happily give the 'eye' to... :cool:)

252180

Oh? You didn't mean like that...? Hmmm... guess I fit the mythical beast model then, but I prefer to have teeth... or even wild hair... :)


Reading this forum, those of us who are heterosexual males and intend to stay that way find out that a good number of crossdressing members here are in fact gay or want to become women. That's a bit disturbing.


:OMG: That's shocking! You realise that if there are any non-crossdressing males reading this forum they'll see that a good number of heterosexual males here go out looking like women and presumably will find THAT disturbing by the same logic...? :eek: (Sorry I used the word logic when really I was looking for something else... :facepalm:)

Katey x

[Maxi]

I'm married with a child, and man of the house. When dressed I like to think of myself as a Trojan horse. I'm not what I appear to be.

[Gigicd]

Great thread and comments, Meghan

[Nikki Elle]

This is a fun thread with many nuances.

Change and acceptance takes time (read years) irregardless of the subject. When stereotyping is involved memories reach far into the past. If people don't have a definition for a given subject it's easy to apply the closet term that fits and without correction frames their point of reference.

Now whether the term is accurate depends upon if you like the label. On the other hand, is it really worth the time and effort to change a definition - in most situations, I don't think people really care as their own issues are at the forefront. The constant bombardment from the media, interest groups, and fanatics about acceptance and PC (political correctness) has created a culture of indifference to many topics. It's only when a small group desires to push their agenda onto the masses does the topic become polarizing and decisive.

I rather like the idea of being mythical, which means I'm rare and unique. Those that value these qualities step to the front, the rest I don't have time.

[Ally 2112]

I am also mythical i am straight dress as a woman and never leave the house dressed .Unless i look in the mirror i would not believe it myself :)

[mykell]

mystical-inspiring a sense of spiritual mystery, awe, and fascination.

mythical-fictitious, synonyms: imaginary, make believe, fantasy, made-up, pretend...

i like being both and have been both....as my journey here continues so have my definitions of who i am and have become

as i continue so will the focus of where i will be by my growth and experience, i can only explain or advocate for myself while having some of the interactions i do while out and about in either version of myself....i can only be an ally, i cannot decide for others, it took me a lifetime to accept this myself.... so i try to explain as i go...

i never think of myself as a beast....but i would smile if i ever saw a rainbow fart....

[heatherdress]

Meghan - I am sorry that you felt uncomfortable and that the MAC make-up people also felt uncomfortable. Nothing you can do about that. I suspect their uncomfortable feeling was simply that it is probably rare that a crossdresser asks to be made up in their mall.

I do not enjoy being in any situations like that. I want to simply blend and enjoy myself. I do not engage in conversations with people I don't know and don't have to speak to. I would not care to read minds because I don't really care what other people whom I don't know think. I just want to be me and would not go to a mall like that to be made up in public.

I don't have your guts and I appreciate your efforts to openly engage others and to promote understanding and acceptance.

[Claire Cook]

Fun thread! Well, if we are to decide between one and the other, and if we use Mikell's definitions (thank you Mikell!) then I suppose I am mystical. Maybe I'm lucky, but when I'm out and folks find out I'm really a guy, (and sometimes they are actually surprised -- or weren't wearing their glasses :heehee: ) maybe there is a sense of awe and fascination. (What, is he brave enough to look like that in public?) I hope this isn't a sexist comment, but I've always thought that females were definitely mystical that mythical -- maybe that's why I identify with mystical!

Meghan, thanks for starting this -- and for educating folks!

[Katey888]

mystical-inspiring a sense of spiritual mystery, awe, and fascination.

mythical-fictitious, synonyms: imaginary, make believe, fantasy, made-up, pretend...


You know I thought thothe were one and the thame thingth... I do hope you weren't taking the pith...

:tongueout:

Katey x

[Dana44]

I like dressing and passing, I bet mystical when out. Yep we are far and few between here. A strange mystical beast. But sometimes I do feel mythical. I do say that I would much rather be mystical.

[Meghan4now]

Mikell, yes the definition that I was using. Thanks for the added clarity for readers.

Heather, also thank you for your concern. I guess I wasn't too uncomfortable, and the artist warmed up quickly. Kandi was also instrumental in getting the SAs into it. Just a funny observation, and I was hoping for an upbeat but reflective thread.