Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction

[Cheryl_Layton]

My SO (for want of a better term) knew about the history of my CDing before we were married but it had never raised its head within the marriage due to kids, lack of opportunity and a general feeling that it had been put behind me. Without going into too much detail she left me for a couple of years but is back in the marital home and we lead separate lives but get on for the sake of the children. During the ‘break’ my CDing naturally came back and for the last few years I’ve been a work in progress.

I’d kept my recent CDing under wraps but was finding the subterfuge starting to become a pain. And so I took the decision to tell her that I was actively dressing. She exploded and vociferously objected, mainly on behalf of the children.

Later on, when she had calmed down and saw that I was deeply unhappy she relented and said she would rather have me doing something that made me happy than having me miserable. The condition was that I kept it out of the house and away from the children.

A couple of weeks later, I asked her if she would look at some of my photos. If you see how I look, then I am more prepared to accept your comments, I told her. She eventually did look and said that I looked amazing but I needed to ‘lose the wig – it makes you look like a typical transvestite’ she said (tact isn’t her strongest feature) - hence my new image. This was about two weeks ago.

Because she works during the day I had time, yesterday, to fully dress and makeup. After a spot of lunch I decided to take a few pix of me in my lounge. Outside on the street I could see some teachers with some schoolkids and their bicycles learning cycling proficiency. Suddenly I heard a knock on the (locked) door. Thinking it was the teacher, and feeling quite confident with my appearance, I decided to answer the door.

I don’t know who was more shocked, me or my SO who had come home unexpectedly! She works part-time but spends a lot of time out of the house. ‘Oh. My. God!’ she said slowly as she came in. ‘Oh, this is so-o-o weird’ she continued as we went into the kitchen. Normally she rings to let me know if she’s coming back so I was taken aback (to put it mildly) when I saw her. ‘Well, I suppose you’ve got to see me dressed at some point,’ I said in a not-too-girly voice.

She could hardly look at me at first and it took her a while to get used to me being dressed but two things happened. One was her eventual acceptance of me being dressed. In fact, at one point she called me Cheryl and later said that it was difficult to get her head round the fact that it was (the male) me she was with! I was delighted as it meant that I presented well as a woman. The second thing was that as she settled down and we began to do normal everyday things around the house, me being dressed felt so, so, so RIGHT! It was 10 times better than dressing on my own. In fact, to quote from the Simpsons – it felt disturbingly comfortable!

The only downside to the afternoon was having to change back before the kids came back from school. It reminded me of Sunday evenings when I was a kid with school the next day, when my mum would call me in as it was bath night and I had to leave playing with my friends.

Although I don’t intend to dress anymore in her presence it’s nice to know that I don’t have to be constantly worrying about getting caught by her arriving home. Mind you, a certain level of secrecy still has to be maintained for the children’s sake.

A few weeks ago, I would never have thought that I’d have got to this stage at home with visits planned to a support group in Blackpool and a night out in the gay/LGBT area of Manchester!

Yes, life feels pretty good at the moment.

Cheryl

[s.e.al]

Great story, Ihope things just keep getting better for u and by the way u do look beautiful.

[Alice_2014_B]

I could imagine that initial sinking feeling.
Thanks for sharing.
:)

[pamela7]

that is awesome Cheryl, and in my world the truth is always stranger than fiction: "you just can't make this stuff up"!
let's hope to hear more of this progress

xxx Pamela

[Rachael Leigh]

Cheryl that's a great story and am so glad she didn't just slap you right there, many wives would just walk out or tell you to change and leave. It's so hard on them trying to wrap their heads around this part of us and I try my best to understand my wife's objections but it's never easy am glad you both came out of it ok.

[Jaylyn]

Great story Cheryl. Hope things keep working for the best for you and your wife keeps working on accepting you. I do like the fact that y'all are not letting the young kids know as they need to make their own lives and live without any guilt one way or the other. Who knows they may grow up and be accepting of it all on their own.

[JillSierra]

Nice story Cheryl!! And you do look absolutely smashing! (Do they still say that in the UK?:o)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Cheryl, I can just imagine the look on both of your faces, Absolutely PRICELESS:daydreaming:

[Victoria Demeanor]

Wow Cheryl, yes I can imagine that she was quit surprised, but I'm so glad it turn out well for you. Perhaps that's the shock she needed and her acceptance will grow. Great story and I hope things just get better.

[Helen_Highwater]

Cheryl,
I believe this is a great example of perception Vs reality. Your SO had an image in her mind of what a CD'er looks like, drag queen, associations with OTT gay men, and knowing you as she does that image was further distorted. Your SO , and this is no fault of her own, was like soo many, ignorant of how we are and what we strive for. Seeing you dressed brought home the truth. You're none of the stereotypes. You present as a "normal" female. Nothing excessive, no over statements. It's just you in different clothes acting normally.

So pleased things went so well for you. I'm sure the future holds more. Buy your SO a little prezzie as a thank you for being so understanding.

[Robin414]

That's an absolutely awesome story Cheryl! I haven't experienced it (yet) myself but I can't help feeling it's inevitable!

[Adelaide]

Great story. I'm really happy that your wife seems to be turning around the corner.
It brought back souvenirs of the first time my wife met Adelaide. Unfortunately, the occasion didn't turn out as positive as yours. It got even worst when my therapist toll her that I look very good as a woman....she literally exploded....

[Katey888]

It's good to hear a positive story Cheryl - we can only be pleased for you... :cheer:

We just have to remember that, like Adelaide's and others experiences, it ain't always necessarily so positive...

But good for you! :)

Katey x

[Marcelle]

Hi Cheryl,

What a great story and thanks for sharing. Having things more out in the open will definitely make things easier for you and help your SO to understand a bit more. Keep the communication lines open between each other, take things slow and just enjoy.

Cheers

Marcelle

[reb.femme]

Hi Cheryl,

I came out to my wife (totally) after she came home early and caught me in her nightie and silky dressing gown. As previously stated, on the positive side, I was at least doing the washing up.

Lingerie had figured in our relationship (without disclosing full details) so she wasn't shocked. I gave the full reveal a couple of weeks later. Went OK but would describe the situation at home as accepting, but not overjoyed, which is not exactly unexpected.

Must have been a real shock for your wife, as she was probably expecting a hot cup of tea but what she got was a 'Hot T' instead - "boom boom" Basil :heehee:. Here's hoping the ice thaws some more for you and life becomes a lot sweeter.

Rebecca

[CONSUELO]

Good story Cheryl. However the part that struck me was the casual mention that she knew of your cross dressing before marriage. I have noticed this a lot.
What is the expectation on getting married? Do we and potential spouses believe that marriage will "take care of" our cross dressing needs?

[Cheryl_Layton]

Good story Cheryl. However the part that struck me was the casual mention that she knew of your cross dressing before marriage. I have noticed this a lot.
What is the expectation on getting married? Do we and potential spouses believe that marriage will "take care of" our cross dressing needs?

I can only speak for myself but I had decided to stop dressing about 18 months before I met my SO as I felt that my CDing wasn't fulfilling my life as much as I would have liked; this was in the days before the internet. I was living alone and felt that I wanted/needed a relationship. I told her about my CDing because I was still in contact with an old CDing friend of mine but felt that the matter wouldn't be an issue as I wasn't actively dressing, had purged and really had no desire to dress. This lasted for a number of years whilst I was married but I now know that I became a ‘crossdreamer’ instead. I used to write erotic novels for myself with me taking the first-person role of the female. I guess this was an outlet for me as dressing was simply impossible.

It’s hard to say whether marriage does ‘cure’ us of CDing as the people on the forum are, obviously, the ones that haven’t been ‘cured’ by marriage. The ones that have (if such people exist) aren’t here to ask, unfortunately.


…and caught me in her nightie and silky dressing gown. As previously stated, on the positive side, I was at least doing the washing up.

Rebecca,

It seems like they get up to all sorts of antics in ‘Sahf Lahndan’. Were you wearing bright yellow Marigolds as well? lol

Cheryl x

Btw, this is how I looked.
252277

[MsVal]

In due time, with occasional exposure, your wife may become acclimated to seeing you dressed. This path is not straightforward, nor is is without risk. However, your own peace of mind could otherwise be put at risk.

She has first hand experience with separation and, for whatever reason prefers not to live that way. She has demonstrated a willingness for some kind of reconciliation. She may be more willing than other wives to honor your needs.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Shelly Preston]

Great story Cheryl

I am glad it worked out for you, however I wonder what her reaction would have been had she come home while you were answering the door ?

[Tracii G]

Funny how miracles happen when you least expect them.
I'm happy she is a little more accepting now.

[Raychel]

great story Cheryl, I hope your wife can continue to accept, and your life only gets better from here.

thanks for sharing with us. :hugs:

[IamWren]

Seeing that picture of you i'm surprised your wife didn't say, "hey lady! WhT the hell are you doing in my house and where is my husband???" because you look very passable in that pic.

[Kandi Robbins]

Thanks for sharing Cheryl. You said something that struck me as so true, once you begin doing "normal" things while dressed, it does begin to feel so right. Personally, I never enjoyed my closeted status, dressing in private at home. It never felt "right" and only began feeling "right" for me when I did finally go out and interact with others. Now comfortable in my own skin, the best times I have when dressed have nothing to do with my being dressed, they are when I am interacting with others without any mention of what I am wearing. It's a process, especially for those that love us, for them to wrap their heads around all of this. Heck, we all have trouble explaining it ourselves. Anyway, I'm thrilled for you!

[S. Lisa Smith]

You looked fabulous. I'll bet your housemate (SO or whatever) thought you looked better than she did!!

[Michelle 78]

Great story Cheryl and I'm so pleased that things went really well for you, I'd love to have somebody else around when I'm dressed as it can be a lonely and sometimes, we just want somebody to give an opinion on what we look like, you never know in time she may accept things more and you may find yourself having girly chats about outfits and makeup etc. You looked very passable in your picture, no wonder she was impressed when you showed her some of your pictures.

As Helen said, most people fall for the usual stereotypes or crossdressers which is totally wrong, I myself just like you spend most of my time as Michelle just doing normal things around the house, it's just a lot more fun in a skirt!!:)

[debstar]

Ditto... I was on the edge of my seat. Tell me all about it some time ;)

[Karen RHT]

I'm happy for you both Cheryl. This could well be the start of better days ahead for the both of you. Thanks for posting about this unexpected event from someone who shares your "it just feels so RIGHT" sentiment.


Karen

[Krisi]

I don't understand why you say you don’t intend to dress anymore in her presence. Once the cat is out of the bag, I would think you would be free to do it as long as you don't get carried away. Don't let it interfere with things you normally do with her or as a family, but keep Cheryl in the picture.

My wife has gotten used to coming home to Krisi and seldom makes any comments unless we're supposed to go out somewhere or someone comes t6o the door. And she calls and lets me know if she is bringing company over. I keep it to once or twice a week. The other days I'll go back to being Homer before she gets home.

I think one of the keys to acceptance is to dress as a normal woman, not all dolled up for a night on the town at 1:00 in the afternoon.