male outllook, female expression

[Tina_gm]

Hi there everyone. I was thinking the other day, and this is likely some weird round about way that makes me "just a CDer. But, I have noticed then when it comes to most males and their general outlook on life, I tend to be in line with that. What many do, occupations, hobbies, appearance and all, I often don't get.

Then it swings just the opposite when it comes to women. I don't always connect to the outlook in life many women have, but what they do, how they act, their general expression, I totally get. I think this can sometimes confuse me all the more, and maybe leads to the times where I have difficulty with my own acceptance. Granted, I am better now than before, and getting better, but the acceptance issue still pokes its head up from time to time. I wonder if anyone on here who considers themselves in the more typical type of CDer ever has anything similar.

[Katey888]

Hey GM - took me a while to work out just what you were saying here... :) Let me see if I've got this right:

For you...
Male outlook on life - Yes Stereotypical male pursuits and personal expression - No
Female outlook on life - No Stereotypical female pursuits and personal expression - Yes

I suspect this is part of the dichotomy many of us suffer (or at least, those of us prepared to think about it.. ;)) where what you describe as the outlook on life is a significant part of social and familial programming that you receive (man = father, father-figure, breadwinner, authority figure, etc.) while expression (what you do, behaviours, cultural preferences, etc.) is more about those things that are an elective choice as an individual, and here you are expressing your offbeat gender compass because you can choose to do so more easily.

Typically women of our (and earlier) generations would be brought up with programming of a different content (woman = mother, maternal, homemaker, etc.) and the choices of expression that are still formulated by society, but are seen as being more 'feminine'.

Personally I don't believe this will be much different for many of us, but as individuals we will choose (or circumstances will encourage us) to adopt a greater or lesser divergence from stereotypical male expression - but some of it may be cultural too... :thinking:

Your wavering acceptance is perhaps just the conflict of these two, strong society models - I'm sure it affects me also and has a hand in why my self-acceptance wobbles... Intriguing...

Katey x

[docrobbysherry]

Your post reminds me, GM. I often don't get, or care about, much of what men go on and on about. :straightface:

I've never gotten women. And, their small talk puts me to sleep. :sad:

Then, I read your post. And, I must admit I don't get what U get, and/or don't get, about men and women!:doh:

Does this mean I don't get CD's either?:eek:

[pamela7]

humans are unique, we can all feel not part of a gang or group or a local culture, outside of a shared world view. and we can feel inside a group. sometimes here i feel part of the community, othertimes i feel i'm not. I've met enough dyslexics and autists to know those spectrums are so vast, i've seen the spectrum here is also vast. I've engaged in discussions here where we can't pin down female or male anything apart from the physical facts, so the real issue is to be happy with yourself as you are GM. xxx

[Tina_gm]

I don't have a lot of time these days, and I had this thought and I wanted to get it posted before I forgot about it. I have been pretty busy as of late. I guess to try to clarify some of the jumble of what I was saying in terms of outlook, and yes, you guys basically did get it right, but things like how men and women view responsibility. amounts and types of sympathy. I see myself falling more in line with what guys outlook is, but when it comes to many of their hobbies, occupations dressing habits, no shave November etc etc. I really just don't connect.

Where I live, which is in the northeast and not rural, more smallish city burbs, you would think you would find this supposedly "liberal" state to not be so crazy redneck as it is in this area of the state anyway. I don't really mean it in a bad way, just a factual observation that if someone was transported here and didn't see the license plates, you would be expecting the general lee to go flying by at any minute. Definitely you would think you were south of the mason Dixon line for sure. But no. And I really do not get the passion for fixing things, building things or hunting animals. Not a bad thing, I just don't understand the passion. Nor how any real man MUST have a pick up truck. Useful sure, but OMG, it really is sort of a code of man round these parts, for whatever reason. It amazes me how many are into construction work, yet round here, so many are so DIY with everything, so there are a lot of crazy broke construction/carpenters. You would think maybe pick a more lucrative profession, or move to where you are more needed, but NOooooo, its what MEN do.

When I talk in more broader subjects though, I seem to connect more to male than female. and vice versa for female. Less connection broader based, totally dig what they do, how they dress, their hobbies etc etc.

[Jaymees22]

I really think I mostly can relate only to other crossdressers, because who else can understand us. I like to do male things, repair things, work on cars etc. Then I find myself doing more feminine things like clothes shopping, cooking and decorating. May be we are a mix of both, more than most people. Jaymee

[Nikki Elle]

I will admit i had to read the original post several times....not sure I get it yet, the second posting with clarification helped. I appreciate Katey's perspective on the dichotomy of men/women.

I think we each strike a balance...I identify with the stereotypical male hobbies, viewpoints and activities. On the other hand I've applied my own traits to traditional female activities. For example: makeup is a very creative expression and the art of transforming is very empowering and a skilled challenge, dressing in the right outfit makes me feel feminine and perfecting the right look is a passion....on the other hand, as a man I have little desire to shop, as a woman I love it

Years of life as a male re-enforces certain traits and activities, likewise with females...then toss in the gender neutral ones that are equally acceptable and we wonder how we are shaped. I personally love exploring my feminine side and giving it a voice, yet years of being male still dominate my personality. I think a large part of behaviors are social constructs with years of reinforcement. We certainly are seeing erosion of these rules but it will take lots of time to undo years of history and role modeling.

I don't think this viewpoint is unique to the CD world, we just carry more social stigma than other pursuits because it's very visible when we dress in public.

[HerAngel]

I really think I mostly can relate only to other crossdressers, because who else can understand us. I like to do male things, repair things, work on cars etc. Then I find myself doing more feminine things like clothes shopping, cooking and decorating. May be we are a mix of both, more than most people. Jaymee

This describes me perfectly also