Texts between SO and co-workers about local CD

[iGenny]

My SO, who doesn’t know about me, showed me some texts started by one of her co-workers between her and other co-workers (local retail store, not clothing). They concerned a local crossdresser who I don’t know and have never (to my knowledge) seen.

The thread started innocently about Halloween, when one wondered if ‘their’ crossdresser would be coming by. Apparently in the past, she’s come into the store in a skirt, hairy legs, and a bulge. So the texts (not many, not the main point) had mentioned that.

I write this to let you know that people do talk about you when you leave. I’d like to add that my SO and her co-workers have always been respectful when she comes in. Like so many of us have said in the past, a sale is a sale is a sale.

[Robin414]

Good post Genny, the whole 'six degrees of separation' thing kinda nerves me out sometimes with this mind 😕

[Rachelakld]

I look at it this way - how boring would their job be, if every day was like the day before. I hope that I give people a positive experience and something funny to gossip about.

A staff at the pool I visited 2 days ago, had trouble not to laugh in my face - that's fine, I'm not that pretty in a one piece swimsuit, and once he got used to me, or other CDers out there I'm sure he will start to understand us more.

[CarlaWestin]

I've heard the giggles and snarky comments. I certainly prefer talk and comments over adverse behaviour.
Back when I first started, a CD could be arrested for lewd behaviour. Now it seems as though bad reaction is reserved to older superstitious types.

[Mark/Rebecca]

I wouldnt read too much into it. HE had a bulge and hairy legs. That comes off as someone not looking for acceptance and wanting shock value, maybe fetishy. Women wouldn't usually be unshaven in a skirt so why would we. I would say he certainly wasn't representing.

[Krisi]

Of course people talk about you when you're not around if they have made you as a crossdresser. I have posted that many times. We see people on here post that they went out dressed and nobody noticed. That's naïve. People do notice, they are just too polite to say anything to your face. They do tell their wives and girlfriends about it and they tell their friends and co-workers also. It's human nature.

[Mayo]

I wouldnt read too much into it. HE had a bulge and hairy legs. That comes off as someone not looking for acceptance and wanting shock value, maybe fetishy. Women wouldn't usually be unshaven in a skirt so why would we. I would say he certainly wasn't representing.
I went to the Trans Pride parade earlier this year - my first and only time out, so far - in a sundress and walked most of the route with these guys (http://www.dailyxtra.com/sites/default/files/styles/440px_wide/public/Copy_of_IMG_4723.jpg). I have a beard and hairy chest and legs. If I were out more regularly, I might make the effort to shave, but I don't see that adopting feminine clothing and mannerisms necessarily obligates me to do all the other things women do. Yes, I would like to look more like a woman, but I will never pass and I don't know that I need to in order to be genderfluid or genderqueer. I'll settle for blurring the lines.

[Meghan4now]

If a GG came in, all hairy and unkempt, showing a big camel toe, and acted odd, I'm sure the ladies would have a field day with that as well.

Interesting conversation starter. This may even be a good ice breaker to discuss with your SO, or at least get some feelers out there.

[Stephanie47]

Many years ago I was at my local Fred Meyer store on Halloween. I was near two female employees who were chatting about a male coworker. The coworker was strutting down the main aisle of the store in a grey skirt and white blouse, short wig, heels and hosiery, and makeup. It was her day off, but, decided to come to work during the day en femme. Their conversation concerned whether or not she was a crossdresser. It was obvious she wanted to be scene under the cover of Halloween. I'm also sure she had the center stage of many conversations for awhile.

I'm in total agreement with Krisi. The vast majority of people who encounter a crossdresser are just going to make a mental note and move on. It seems the only groups that make a negative comment are young guys fueled by alcohol and giggly teenage girls.

[LydiaL]

Even I would gossip with fellow co-workers about a hairy guy in dress or skirt getting his kink on. :blah:

If going out in the public, I would surely do my best to appear as femme as possible. If someone talks about me? Fine, would hope they discuss how sexy I appeared. :battingeyelashes:

[Eryn]

I've found that I am memorable to the people I meet, so I don't doubt that I am discussed. It goes with the territory. I just hope the discussion is about "that nice TG person."

[Mayo]

Even I would gossip with fellow co-workers about a hairy guy in dress or skirt getting his kink on. :blah:
Doesn't this sort of carry with it the unspoken assumption that CDing is (at least primarily) a sexual fetish, and therefore something bad or shameful?

I haven't been around here that long but, while I get the impression that most people on these forums would like to be able to present fully as women (hell, so would I!), it's not necessarily about passing so much as not being stigmatized for having unconventional interests or gender expression. Also, those who crossdress for sexual reasons, while significant in number, are not necessarily the majority. I think we should be trying to challenge one-size-fits-all stereotypes (while also not belittling those for whom CDing is a sexual interest), in part by striving to overturn the gender binary rather than reinforcing it, but perhaps I am in the minority on this. :)

[Allisa]

If they didn't talk about me I would never have gotten the handle of "the area transvestite" as I reported in one of my treads. Now a badge of honor and pride. Of course I try to present myself in a more femme manner (no bulge or hairy legs etc...).

[Mink]

those ones that shave their legs and wear make-up / wigs / etc... must have some sort of fetish!

trying to look like an ACTUAL woman / fool people!

instead of just enjoying the clothes!

(oh god?)


they are def. not representing the CD community how they should!