Dinner in the city last night

[Jenniferathome]

I had once pledged to not write about another uneventful evening out but I figured that since there are a lot of newbies and lurkers here, I'd pass on the info as well as some observations. I posted some pictures in the photo section (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?233283-Thursday-night-in-the-City-thanks-to-Rent-the-Runway).

I got dressed and left my place around 3:45PM. It is full on daylight and I am sitting in traffic. I decide to start watching people. Virtually no one even looked my way. The few that did, did so almost looking through me. Of the hundreds of people that passed within 10 feet of my window maybe 3 really looked at me. I smiled, they smiled back. Now, I remember my first drive and how I thought everyone could see me an "knew" I was a cross dresser. The funny part is even if they DID see me and "knew", who are these people?!?! I don't know them. They don't know me. Why we get ourselves tied up in knots about this is really quite comical. Driving: non-issue.

Next, my friend and I are in the city. We get a glass of wine prior to going to dinner. The place is full of normals. No stares. No jokes. No one cares. Wine bar: non-issue.

After a few glasses of wine we walk over to great Asian fusion restaurant. The smells were to die for but it was crowded and we had to wait. The hostess din't blink, asked for a name and on went life. When we sat, our waitress was all smiles, I am sure in part because two cross dressers were in front of her, but she was nothing but polite and helpful. We were treated just like any patron would be treated. No other guests looked at us in any way out of the ordinary.

Next it was off to coffee at a place I have visited before. The normals were everywhere. All the staff was friendly just as they would be to any paying guest. We chatted with another patron who know my friend and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. When we parted ways with her, she hugged me and gave me a wonderful compliment. Coffee place: non-issue

So in the end, going out is so much easier than we make it to be in our heads. Businesses want your money. Other people are wrapped up in their own lives. YOU WILL BE NOTICED but that's where it ends. No one cares. You have the right to be wherever you want to be. Relax and act naturally. You are not a thief casing a joint and you are not "fooling" anyone. You're being you. As I always recommend, dress for the location, time and event and have fun. Get out there.

Jen

[SharonDenise]

Thanks for your words of wisdom! I also went to a nice restaurant in the Chicago area, last night with a female companion. She is Janna, from Janna's Studio, who is my teacher, coach and friend. It is quite enjoyable to sit at a nice restaurant, dressed en femme with a friend for support. The wait staff knows but they are genuine with their support. It was a slow night but the customers that were present hardly gave me a glance. What a lovely experience.

[jayme357]

Doesn't hurt that you are gorgeous.

[Victoria Demeanor]

Very nice story Jen and glad you had a pleasant evening. I understand and appreciate the reason for your post and totally agree. It's just that hurdle of getting out the door for the first time. Well worth it though.

[StacyCD]

If I looked as good as you do, I would be a lot more at ease when out dressed!

[bridget thronton]

I doubt I pass - but I am polite when I am out and people act in a friendly manner so all is good - thanks for sharing Jen

[Jenniferathome]

Bridget, I do not pass. When I am out no one, and I mean no one, thinks I am a natural woman. A good time is not contingent on the impossible task of "passing."

[Anne K]

Jennifer, very nice outfit. You look fabulous!

Out of curiosity, how are you handling your voice?

[Karan]

Jennifer,

Thanks for the encouragement. You are right the vast majority of people either don't notice, don't care or are receptive as long as we are not obnoxiously over the top in how we present ourselves. That pretty much goes for everyone everywhere whether they are a crossdresser or not in any situation. I took my first baby step last weekend. My wife and I stopped at a restaurant out in the country. I had taken my sweatshirt off because it was warm. Had a long sleeve women's top on. It was feminine color, texture and cut. For pants I did have men's jeans. No one looked at me twice. Had to walk across room to go to restroom.(men's). Chatted with the waitress. My wife engaged a table of 4 in conversation as we are leaving. We talked and no one batted an eye or seemed to care or notice. I said to my wife after we left. News flash! Man wears ladies top in public and world does not end! Jennifer, I have along way to go to reach your level of confidence but you do help. And, yes, you do look great.

[phylis anne]

I have been lurking in the shadows here ,on the subject of going out in public and have noticed for the most part that the real issue is with ourselves -not others as they are all too busy in their own lives to worry about a man dressed as a woman so to speak . glad to hear you had an enjoyabl eevening
phylis anne

[Jenniferathome]

...Out of curiosity, how are you handling your voice?

Joyce, I try to soften my voice but that lasts for only a few seconds. I speak in my male voice. I'd like to do better, not to fool anyone, but to make the total picture better. But even with a perfect voice, I would not pass as a natural woman.