A change of inner feeling

[Bobbi46]

Since finding my true self and having experienced some wonderful happenings what is now happening to me is that I am beginning to feel so much more feminine within myself whether I am dressed or not the latter of which I hate. I feel so much more comfortable dressed and now find that being in drab feels so uncomfortable and alien to me now. Another thing that is happening to me is that I am generating a more gentle and calming attitude to everything. Not that for want of better words I was forceful or anything like that before, but my work made me have a hard outlook on life otherwise I would not have been able to my job, but since finding the comfort of this forum and everything it has generated in me this gentle and feminine outlook on life.
has this happened to you as well, for me it is like metamorphosis or something like that. I like it and all that goes with it.

[Gabby6790]

Bobbi,
I don't know what it is but I have felt the calming as well. I am only about 3 months into my personal acceptance. A lot has gone since then. Don't get me wrong, I am still wired super tight (super stressful job) but especially with my SO I find myself thinking about how I am acting before I do it.

I am concerned that the calming with my SO is simply an attempt to soften things for when I do the big reveal. But I also think that keeping this secret bottled up for so long may have been a reason for the kind of jerk I have been in the past.

It's a bumpy road but I think its a better one. Hopefully, for you too.

[Dana44]

Bobbi, It is so fine when we find our true selves. I also find that my fem side is becoming far more prominent. LOL from my girly self I had to dress my body in male clothes and go to the club to watch football and drink beer with the men. Oh boy that was far better to be in male mode for that. I overdid myself. Ah, the girly me. It was good though but first time I ran my male self from my female mode in a situation like that. Strange putting the clothes on. My SO does not understand it. But yeah, the feminine in us is real and we can get ourselves in trouble with it. Our feminine side is far more gentle than my male side. More caring also.

[Robin414]

WOW, YES I so get it Bobbi and Dana! I used to be a raging bull but I've SOOO calmed now that I'm beginning to accept my femme side...my SO loves the fact I'm sooo much calmer now as well...we can finally have nice things! ☺

[MissDanielle]

I'm not even the same person anymore when it comes to football games! I'm a Colts fan and always will be but I'm finding myself beginning to be in different towards actually watching the games. But I can't wait to get my hands on the Alyssa Milano collection for the St. Louis Cardinals!

[Kimberley May]

I tend to agree with the OP. I haven't been dressing long apart from very brief instances many years ago. But I find that when I'm in drab mode, I can be pretty tetchy and moody. As soon as I'm in gurl mode though, I'm suddenly more laid back and relaxed, far more calmer and gentle including in my responses to others. It's also far more comfortable, probably due to the finer fabrics.

I'm still working out why this is, why I find it more difficult to be just that in my usual everyday natural guy mode. But whatever the reason, it seems to be a good working therepeutical remedy :)

[Sarah.Jane]

I know I always get moody if I'm restricted in my dressing by outside things, I know dressing has a calming influence on me.

[Rita C.]

I know what you are saying, when dressed I'm a different person. I have been unable to fully dress for the last year and a half because of medical reasons. but I do under dress all the time ( bra and panties)

[Meghan4now]

I'm not even the same person anymore when it comes to football games! I'm a Colts fan and always will be but I'm finding myself beginning to be in different towards actually watching the games. But I can't wait to get my hands on the Alyssa Milano collection for the St. Louis Cardinals!

Yeah, but the Colts aren't the same since loosing Dungey and Manning, so I am not as much of a fan as I used to be. Good thing the Bengals are 7 - 0! And way to go Cubs this year. My poor old Reds have at least three years of rebuilding. Happy for Cueto though.

Oh right back to the OP. I think this girly thing we experience can be a good thing in our lives. It can provide us with perspective and growth. But it is like anything, in moderation it is good, in excess it may create a false sense of one's self. We often go through phases, and have to test our boundries. This is normal human development. Hopefully we get to the point we are more fully human, loving, wise and understanding. By gaining perspective, we learn to respect one another as people, and break down the ridged socially constructed divides that have far less to do with our genetics than sterotypes.

Thank you for your post. I wish you the best in becoming your full self, whoever that turns out to be.

[pamela7]

i am more relaxing, less grumpy, happier in myself at a mostly unconscious level since dressing almost full time. I don't call it finding my true self, because that's something different in my world, but i am experiencing a gentle wind of change.

[MissDanielle]

I get scared sometimes that the fem side will just completely take over, not that I have any problem with that. Given how discreet I have to be right now with my living situation, I haven't been able to dress in quite a while.

[PaulaQ]

@bobbi46, MissDanielle - things often start to get really interesting should you reach a point where you realize "These are my clothes."

By the way, it's not so much that one has a feminine side that takes over, although it can feel like that. It's that some of us are, in fact, women, and "the guy" is just an act we put on that matches what people expect when they look at the outside of us. It isn't really us.

I wouldn't worry about any of that overmuch though, unless you start to feel really terrible when you are presenting as a man, but not as a woman. That's certainly what I experienced. In fact, calling what I experienced feeling terrible is a gross understatement...

[Allisa]

I was just daydreaming today on the job of how happy I've become in general since accepting my femme self and how more relaxed I am no matter how I'm presenting with my clothing. I think my outlook on things has gotten somewhat gentler and laid back but that could also come with age and maturity. I have found that I can express myself more clearly and openly now, if that's "feminine" than it's been a part of me that my "CDing" has brought forth. As I stated, my over all happiness has grown.

[Bobbi46]

I do not feel terrible presenting as a man but when dressed fully I feel more "At home with myself". maybe it's to do with evolving into a more feminine look on life but I am more content dressed than otherwise. Not so much a compulsion or even an obsession more of a need for inner comfort that creates ones inner feelings.
One thing that comes out of all of this is that I sleep better! than I ever did before. Having been out twice, shopping dressed has added to a better inner feeling as well.

[Allisa]

Bobbi, I believe that feeling is one of acceptance of yourself for who you are and realizing you lean more to the femme side. That inner feeling lets you be free to express yourself through your dressing and actions, just my take on the way I feel and possibly what has happened to you. Enjoy your new you and bask in it's light.

[CynthiaD]

It's calming and comforting to find and accept your true self. I spent a lot of years denying my true self, and forcing myself to be 100% male all the time. It nearly tore me apart. I was unhappy most of the time without knowing why. I too, developed a hard outlook on life. But right now I'm wearing a black maxi-dress with forms, wig, and a bit of lipstick. And I couldn't be happier. I can act totally feminine (which I find to be completely natural) without feeling the least bit ashamed. And yes, it bleeds over into male mode too. Acting male is much easier now that I know it's only temporary.

It sounds like you and I have had similar experiences. I'm really happy for you.

[Bobbi46]

"Bask in its light" is a wonderful way of expressing the overall feeling of what is happening to me, it's also like a new type of freedom of which only we can experience. I certainly feel freer in femme but in drab I feel somewhat hampered and fettered. In one way difficult to put into words in another way easy, I suppose I am trying to say,
1) freedom
2) comfort
3) contentment
4) enjoyment
5) calmness
Also what I feel is an immense sense softness, this overflows a bit in drab mode but en femme the sense of softness is a feeling that's almost a physical thing to touch and cherish and nurture. I think that dressing is the most comforting of all.