Assumptions of living in a small town

[Princess Chantal]

I grew up in a small town in which I believe was conservative (a farming hick town some would say) until I was in my early twenties. I had started crossdressing a year prior to moving into the larger city and had the assumption that the small town people would have frowned upon crossdressing. Low and behold just over a decade later and swimming in the local transgender community pond, I have become aware that many people from that very same town are either huge supporting ally friends of my transgender/crossdressing friends and me or are actually transgender persons/crossdressers.
Anyone else find your assumption of the small town not true?

[Dana44]

Actually, I lived in in a very rural area where I ranched and the town was about five miles away. I got divorced and have moved to now a small city. Been out and about with no issues. So, in a conservative area, most people are respectful and let others live as they want to.

[anton jon]

Hi hon, I find that people are people no matter where they live. I was born in dublin, one of the biggest citys in ireland but I have lived in very small towns.
I am now living in a medium size town and nothing is that different.

My wife and I where window shopping the other day on main street, I looked up the road and about 200 yards up the road I could see a cder, I decided to just watch her as she walked towards us. I said nothing to my wife to see if she would notice, now we where talking about my cding but also cding in general. When the lady got close enough I pointed out her skirt to my wife, a white thigh high mini. My wife didn't like it but never noticed the lady was a cder. The street was busy, about a thousand people and not one of them looked at her or said anything. She was very far from talented when it came to everything, makeup looked so bad, wig falling to one side, none of her clothes matched and she had spent maybe a week too long on the sunbed, no one noticed or cared. It felt good and I just gave her a wink and a nod to show I did notice and I pulled my panties up just enough to show her I knew and supported her, my way of saying "you go girl, own it" she gave me a smile, wink and strutted her stuff all the way down the road.

People are people


Love

Anton jon

[CynthiaD]

Last summer I went back for a visit to the small hick town I grew up in. I was 100% en femme the whole time, and nobody batted an eye.

[Sky]

I've had a slightly different experience. I'm in Chicago where tolerance and acceptance are pretty much given for granted. But I like dressing when I travel, so not long ago, I visited a number of flea markets and antique malls in semi rural Indiana and Kentucky. I was dressed as usual, nothing flashy, but sure enough I was the only "woman" wearing makeup and a nice outfit. Two middle aged women walked past me and one said "creepy", loud enough for me to hear. And in another mall, two male hicks greeted me with fake exaggerated courtesy, like teens trying to be funny. I could not care less, but it was mildly surprising, since I have always lived in big cities and had pretty much forgotten about that kind of reaction.

[Kate Simmons]

As time goes on I'm finding every time I go to the club to dance, more and more TG folks are coming out of the wood work, so I believe it's happening pretty much everywhere Hon. :battingeyelashes::)

[ReineD]

This has been our experience as well. People in public places generally keep their opinions to themselves whether in a small or large town and of course service personnel (SAs, restaurant, etc) treat us as other customers and they don’t even let on that they read us.

There are media reports of CDs/TSs who are beaten up (and some are killed … google transgender murders) for being who they are, but these situations are isolated if you compare them to all the CDers and TSs who are out in public.

But it all depends on the type of life you want to live if you choose to crossdress in your home town. If you’re satisfied with being a loner (spend most of your time among strangers) or if you limit your social life to people in the LGBT community, that’s OK, you’ll live your life unfettered save for the occasional stare. But if you expect family, friends, and acquaintances who are not associated with the LGBT community to support you being dressed to the extent they will invite you to their homes while dressed, invite you to their parties with other friends, or do things out in public with you dressed, then you may be in for a surprise. Many of our TS members lose friends and family when they come out.

[Saikotsu]

I don't honestly know how friendly the small towns around here are. I know in my small town in the mountains, being gay (or being assumed to be gay) was enough to make you a social pariah at school.

[Ally 2112]

I live in a fairly small city and some of the places i have worked at over the years there were gay people .For the most part they were accepted and left alone in a good way .Cross dressing on the other hand i have heard virtually nothing and as far as i know i have never seen one .Although that doesn't mean that there is no one that does it :)

[T. Fonda]

I grew up in a small town. Wouldn't change my experience. Great people. I'm sure some wouldn't understand if I dressed openly in public. That doesn't mean they are bad people or whatever-phobic. It just means they don't understand and probably don't have time to understand because they are dealing with more important things (to them). Imo, referring to people as hicks or a town as a hick town is being judgmental and bigoted.

[deirdre travesty]

"local transgender community pond"
That's pretty cosmopolitan, ain't it?
Canadians seem much sweeter people than..........

"He's a lumberjill She's OK"

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I lived in a small town for 17 years but I didn't start crossdressing till the last 3 I lived there. Like you, I assumed I would not be welcomed. I moved away before I dared to go out, so I'll never know.

[I Am Paula]

I transitioned in a small farming community. Everyone knows me, and I'm just the girl that used to be a guy. I can drink my coffee, and joke with the rubber boot crowd, and they take me as I am. I do stay clear of the local bar, which can be rough, even for cis people.

[Princess Chantal]

Imo, referring to people as hicks or a town as a hick town is being judgmental and bigoted.
Just a note, I referred to the town as being conservative and added the hick part in brackets as I have seen many on this forum describe small rural towns as hick towns.

[Robin414]

I just gave her a wink and a nod to show I did notice and I pulled my panties up just enough to show her I knew and supported her, my way of saying "you go girl, own it" she gave me a smile, wink and strutted her stuff all the way down the road.


Way ta go girl! 😉

I'm in a small city (by global standards) and honestly (touch wood) I've found it quite accepting ranging from 'you can be a woman if you want to be, it's OK ☺ ' ( from a young lady at a convenience store I just spontaneously came out to) to 'That's OK, no problem' (from a guy walking his dog In a park who started a conversation with what he thought was a chic 😉 )

I admit, I tend to avoid the gen pop when I'm out but I'm still kinda a noob but I really don't 'feel' it's a problem.

[Eryn]

In my childhood back in the 60s there was one fellow in town who was a rather open CDer. My mother volunteered at a thrift store and they would actually set large-size items aside for him because he was one of their best customers.

It was a very small, conservative town but this guy was well tolerated. Why? Because he was the only Diesel mechanic in the area and if he wouldn't work on your truck or tractor you'd have to haul it 100 miles away to get it fixed.

Sometimes tolerance is fueled by enlightened self-interest and interdependence.

[jenniferinsf]

my wife and i are looking to buy in a small town.

to help with the search we met and had coffee with our preferred real estate agent in the area with me en femme. no point in looking at something in the wrong zip code

she was completely understanding and said a client she had about a year ago was another CD who she would introduce to me to

[Judith96a]

Eryn,
You are so right!

[Stephanie47]

My opinions are based on observations and discussions with friends/relatives/casual relations, who do not know I like to wear women's clothing. I've found true conservatives value the right to be who you are without interference. The vast majority really do not understand why a person is gay or lesbian or like to wear women's clothing. However, those people are willing to leave someone alone, if not embrace them into their circle of friendship. I've found a distinct difference in levels of acceptance and tolerance from those who are politically conservative or liberal, and, those who are religiously conservative.

[cdterri]

I grew up in a small town. Wouldn't change my experience. Great people. I'm sure some wouldn't understand if I dressed openly in public. That doesn't mean they are bad people or whatever-phobic. It just means they don't understand and probably don't have time to understand because they are dealing with more important things (to them). Imo, referring to people as hicks or a town as a hick town is being judgmental and bigoted.

I happen to be a HICK from a HICK town and most of the people I know have no problem being a HICK from a HICK town!

[Krisi]

I think we tend to find what we want to find. I've read posts here where people claim that most of their friends are crossdressers or transgendered. Well, to find these friends, you would hang out where they hang out. Hang out at Home Depot and your friends will most likely be straight and if they are crossdressers they keep it under wraps.

I find it interesting that there would be a "local transgender community pond" and of course I wonder why the pond is segregated to include only those "differently gendered".

[Sarah Beth]

I sometimes have wonder what some of the people here consider to be a small town. Where I grew up, and for reasons I won't go into, came back to live there are less that 2000 people in the county. I would never go out here or even hint to anyone about anything less that completely macho neanderthal man. I know from conversations I have heard in various places here what the attitudes about all things different are.

The other day I was in the hardware store and they were all laughing about an incident from a few days before that I hadn't heard yet where a person passing through town who was most likely transgendered had stopped at one of the convenience stores and had been ridiculed by the locals sitting in there having their coffee.

The attitudes about anything LGBT here is overwhelmingly negative. I have been made the butt of jokes here for just being friendly with a neighbor who was gay. He didn't stay around here long who could blame him even his parents would bring church members by to pray over him to change him.

So what assume about small towns is that they are all pretty much going to be against anything "different" until I find out otherwise about them.

[Krisi]

Small town people tend to be more honest and open about their thoughts and feelings. They haven't learned to hide them or cover them up like the folks in the big city.

[STACY B]

This thread Cracks me up,,lol,,, I live in a kinda medium size place next to a larger place next to an even larger place if that makes sense? Anyway,, I have my own Bizz and am well known here by most,, Even though I am no Cross dresser I don't dress so called normal for the Mans man here by no means,,, Sometimes me and the SO venture off the path into smaller local eating places in the smaller local towns and me being one to love shock therapy for the older folk I tend to push it just a little,, Just having what most call Girl hair is enough to stop them from eating and stare,,lol,,, Much less what I have on and how my body and the rest looks,, They have never said much,, I get all my Beat down so to speak from all of my past Male friends,,, When ya gonna cut that hair,,, You look like a girl,, Why ya wearing ya Old Ladys Pants,, My reply is always the same( SHUT UP),,,,LOL,,,, Or these are Your Mamma's Pants,,,,,

[I Am Paula]

Sarah Beth-I don't know if it's cultural, or geographic, but that is appalling. Here in Canada, some other customer would have slapped these people silly, and told them to grow up.

[Beverley Sims]

Chantal,
The reference to bigoted for a hick town must be a modern thing.

I have lived in what is now a hick town and I find no disgrace at all.

Times change and so does vocabulary.

Transvestite is almost a no! no! now.

Stacy B.....

Your Avatar tells it all.... :-)

Keep up the good work.

[STACY B]

Sarah Beth,,, That exact thing is what I live for,, There is a small country store right outside the Dirt pit where we go to get Soil,,, And like all small country stores there is ALWAYS a crowd of old timers , Unemployed, and just general hang around's ,, An when I see them outside even if I don't need anything I stop just to give them a show,, Funny thing is a Guy I have known for years owns the store who happens to be Gay,,lol,,, Irony at it's best,, Cuz you know I don't look like the rest of the Dump Truck driver that stop in,,lol,,,, SHOCK,,,SHOCK,,,,,, Give Um what they WANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

[Veronica27]

But it all depends on the type of life you want to live if you choose to crossdress in your home town. If you’re satisfied with being a loner (spend most of your time among strangers) or if you limit your social life to people in the LGBT community, that’s OK, you’ll live your life unfettered save for the occasional stare. But if you expect family, friends, and acquaintances who are not associated with the LGBT community to support you being dressed to the extent they will invite you to their homes while dressed, invite you to their parties with other friends, or do things out in public with you dressed, then you may be in for a surprise. Many of our TS members lose friends and family when they come out.

This is very well stated. Personally, my life is much more than my desire to crossdress. I remain primarily closeted because my usual life is more important to me than my crossdressing.

I live in a very small community, (usually referred to as a hamlet) of a couple of dozen houses. Any shops or churches or other businesses have long since been converted into homes or demolished. There are several towns of about 1000 people or so within a short drive and we were originally a part of a larger township of about 10,000 population. In the late 1990's the Provincial Government required many towns and cities to amalgamate with neighbouring municipalities and we were absorbed by a city of about 35,000, even though we are in the heart of a rural farming area.

I mention this background because I have never encountered any negativity toward alternative lifestyles, either in my own Hamlet or in the expanded city. We had a gay couple living down the road for a few years who were well accepted. While I do not openly crossdress in my community, I have been dressed at Halloween and I now wear my hair in a long ponytail. I have always been met with approval by my neighbours. I feel I live in a largely conservative, somewhat religious redneck area, and find them to be great folks. I don't think you can draw any meaningful conclusions about people's understanding and acceptance simply by where they live, their politics, or their religion. There are good and bad among all people, including Cd's and Tg's. But then, this is Canada, and Canadians do tend to be a tolerant bunch even if that does conflict with my previous sentence.

Veronica

[flatlander_48]

The town where I currently live is about 11,000 people. Elmira, which is a bit under 20 miles away is maybe 30,000 and Ithaca is about 45 miles away and it is also about 30,000. Everything else would be postage stamps.

The area does still have some remnants of social conservatism, but there has been improvement over the 23 years that I have been here. My employer is the only major company here and has quite a bit of influence in the town. That's the big driver behind the improvement. How can you attract good employees if the town and the surrounding area is crap? Answer: You can't.

However, I don't have a good sense of the relative acceptance level here for those of us somewhere in the transgender spectrum. Over the past several weeks I have outted DeeAnn to 200+ people and I've chronicled this in another thread. So far I've noticed no particular reaction. Whether that is acceptance or a lack of interest, I can't say at this point.

DeeAnn

[melissa247]

i do know there are rumours about me as i have been called a sissy by some,and old friends whom i grew up with now avoid me like the plague even if they say hello it is only a quick hello i have to be going...so I am sure the rumour has spread and so be it..as far as i know it has never been anything anybody knew about me.but..it has been spread to even my new job which a co-worker looked at me and actaully said.."YOUR A FAG???""" i didn't say anything because this same person is a dink anyways so i don't give it much response or attention..if it is out and i am the only one who doesn't know then great it will make coming out easier..i will say though I have seen violent attitudes towards it..and even though i am not afraid,as i in guy mode can do fairly well to protect myself..it makes it a bit disparraging to want to go out dressed.