That's Discusting!

[ChristinaK]

Got a manicure with my daughter yesterday, which I have done several times. Came home and told my wife, then told her I had them done pink. They are, but so opaque they look natural.

She replied,"that's discusting," with a foul smirk. Then I showed her and she was okay.

I guess because of the pink fog I'm biased, but why is it discusting on a man when both genders have the same hands? My daughter doesn't seem to care, who is a tween.

The remark just got under my skin a little. Women can do anything manly, but a man better not wear a paisley shirt, or a turtleneck sweater!

Just venting.

[Chriscrossed]

Vent away. Men and women were created equal so you are entitled to do anything a woman does, don't let it bother you. When it comes to relationships though I'm afraid women have gotten used to being in the driver's seat. Dealing with that hurdle will take some more care and planning by clever men like you. I'm sorry the world is so unfair for men regarding this one small aspect ;) hopefully we will be emancipated someday too and get to be girly with our daughters without getting heat from our wives. I applaud you.

My daughter and I did our toenails together again last weekend. She was really creative with hers, she made them with a popcorn theme. She won't listen to me and do a proper basecoat and topcoat though, she's not old enough for those lessons yet but we have time. ;)

Chris Crossed.

[Allisa]

I always have my nails colored now in a light translucent pink that can be seen when the light hits them in a certain angle. I also wore a paisley shirt when younger and my sisters had to literally rip it off my body I wore it so much, but that was back in the sixties so...

[wanabe-Leona]

About to have the same conversation with my wife today after church

[Pat]

Women can do anything manly, but a man better not wear a paisley shirt, or a turtleneck sweater!

Sez you. No, literally it's you saying you can't do those things. I understand all the reasons for it, but you have to accept that you're trading freedom for comfort and be at peace with the result.

[jenniferinsf]

i find that i have become very sensitive to words often meant in jest or lightheartedly. sometimes i keep it inside at others times speak up about them.

certainly surprises give rise to reactions we can not control

[Princess Chantal]

I so need clarification, what does discusting mean? I am totally lost on reading this thread without knowing!

[LizSummers]

I'm assuming they meant 'disgusting' :)

[Eryn]

I would be rather disturbed by such a statement from my spouse. Let's say that Mimi came home with one side of her hair dyed orange and the other purple. I'd have a difficult time wrapping my brain around her choice, but you'd never hear a derogatory statement about it come from me. I might say "That's interesting" or "That's pretty bold," but I'd never say anything like "That's disgusting."

Of course, perhaps I'm misreading the conversational style used between you and your spouse. Do you commonly use terms like "disgusting" to describe your spouse's actions?

[maryelizabeth]

Perhaps she was just jealous ;)

[Tracii G]

Next time she gets dressed up going somewhere just say "are you really going to wear that?"
That way you are implying what she has on looks disgusting or bad without actually saying it.
It will make her think OMG this outfit must be awful I better change.
Kind of a payback IMO.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Christina, Sometimes it just seams like the deck is stacked against us here's a couple hugs for you.:hugs::hugs:

I keep my nails pale pink opaque all the time with Pink Ice from WAL*MART. ...:daydreaming:...

[char GG]

@Maryelizabeth: I doubt that she was jealous. That seems to be a false fantasy that some people have - that GG's are jealous of "something" such as manis, pedis, clothes, weight, etc.

@ Kristina K: By the way, I do think it was a poor choice of words for your wife to use. Try not to take it too seriously.:2c:

[Tracii G]

I doubt any GG would be jealous of any MtF crossdresser and to think that is pretty arrogant of a CD.

[Princess Chantal]

I'm assuming they meant 'disgusting' :)

Doh! I should have caught that. Thank you

[SuzanneS]

Next time she gets dressed up going somewhere just say "are you really going to wear that?"
That way you are implying what she has on looks disgusting or bad without actually saying it.
It will make her think OMG this outfit must be awful I better change.
Kind of a payback IMO.
Yes...!

Although that may not keep peace in the household.....however, I am guessing there may be other issues already.

Anyway... an buddy of mine...big guy, goatee, sports junkie, a "man's man"....goes with his 15 year old daughter to get a pedi everytime that she does. Him and her mother are separated, but he goes and gets his toes done with his daughter everytime. Sometimes a Hello Kitty, sometimes a Superman...but he always does it. It's not a big deal unless you make it a big deal. ;)

Suzanne

[Robin414]

I get it, a woman can dress (and even act) like a diesel mechanic and it's completely OK, and she happens to be attractive (as a woman) even better but a guy wearing anything 'clearly femme' is frowned upon! A woman being masculine is 'attractive' but a man being feminine is...well...disgusting?

[sometimes_miss]

Next time she gets dressed up going somewhere just say "are you really going to wear that?"
I really don't think annoying a wife is a step in the right direction. It's pretty clear she's irritated enough at the thought of you in feminine nail polish. If you want to push your luck, feel free of course, but I never found that annoying my wife was a good idea, ever.

[Pat]

A woman being masculine is 'attractive' but a man being feminine is...well...disgusting?

That statement is correct-ish as a snapshot of our culture at this very moment, but it ignores that women had to fight to make that happen. And in other cultures at this moment in time that is not the case. Transgender people (not just crossdressers) are slowly making headway toward changing the culture, thanks mostly to strong allies and a culture that for the moment is looking to be more accommodating to small-segment groups like us. Complaining about women having succeeded in their efforts doesn't help anyone. Take inspiration from the women and enlist them as allies in moving the culture to the place we want it to be.

[Beverley Sims]

I would cultivate a thicker skin and consider anything said by others as jest.

[Karren H]

My wife has never used that word but I get "you look like a girl or you stand like a girl or you act like a girl.... stop it" all the time. She doesn't like it but isn't disgusted by it.

[IamWren]

My wife and I were at a restaurant over the weekend and I saw a guy who looked so much like the husband of a youtuber who does makeup. I didn't tell her how I came across the video (i was watching makeup tutorials :D) but said he let his wife do full on makeup that was supposed to be kind of funny and participating in a husbandmakeup hashtag.

The expression on her face was one of disgust which... despite her loving how I look in girl-cut jeans, girls' boy shorts and having pretty toes with her that we did together... is the reason that I will not be coming out to her any time soon.

[Krisi]

"Women can do anything manly, but a man better not wear a paisley shirt, or a turtleneck sweater!"

You are beating a dead horse with that remark. It's been discussed to death here but guess what? Nothing has changed. And it won't change.

I'm assuming you want to continue your marriage so my advice is not to push her limits too far or too fast. Many wives will tolerate some crossdressing or feminine habits as long as they remain private, but her husband going out in the real world with pink nail polish may be past her level of tolerance. She probably doesn't want to have to answer questions from her friends on why her husband wears pink nail polish or if he is gay.

[Dana44]

Vent away, but I would not irritate her as that ins't very conductive to a happy relationship. My SO told me one time I was a freak in a dress... Really, LOL I asked her where that come from and we discussed it. That pretty much hurt me but I calmly discussed it with her. We have a great relationship and she like me to be feminine sometimes but not always. So, it is better to let the bad stuff roll off of your back. That what we men had to do all of our lives. Handling a women is challenging but we are good at it.

[JocelynJames]

I've actually gotten the "quit being such a drama queen!" Once. I deserved that one. I can rely on her to keep me in check.

[ChristinaK]

Thanks girls. Well, I learned how to spell disgusting! I didn't make an issue of it with my wife. She is very sensitive about my being a "pervert" as she calls me. She has allowed me to do a few things and wearing clear polish is one of them. That same day I put on perfume she gave me for my birthday and she said I smelled good. So, maybe she's coming around a little. I was just venting, and wish she were like some of the wives some of you write about who range from very tolerant to actually liking it. Yesterday, my daughter told me to get my nails done, "the hottest pink you can find." No, that wouldn't work to my advantage, so I will respect her feelings.

I have written before about how, back in the sixties and seventies, men could wear very androgynous clothing and it was actually the style. Long hair, puffy cuffs, flowered shirts, sweaters, bell bottoms, polyester, etc. I miss those days. Maybe men's styles will move back in that direction someday, but in the town I live in, probably never. So, sometimes I dress in women's androgynous clothing when I go out just to push the envelope a little. When I completely dress, I want to look and be accepted as a woman, which to me is a different issue.

[Lorileah]

reminder kids...be nice. Don't make this a GG bashing thread.

[Karren H]

Aww Mom! Do we have to??

[Scarlett Viktoria]

It's beyond me why society doesn't bat a lash when girls dress like guys but god forbid we dress like girls. Wonder where and why the split happen this way. Let us all dress the way we please!

- - - Updated - - -

Just to be clear, not bashing gg's just extremely jealous lol.

[Eryn]

I'm certainly not going to bash GGs in general, but this one is particularly intolerant over what is a very trivial matter. Long-dead animals are disgusting. Nail polish is not. She obviously means that her spouse is disgusting. What kind of attitude is this in a marriage?

[Krisi]

It should be taken as a warning sign. A sign to slow down and go at the wife's pace. Of course there's the option of divorce. Then you can wear any color of nail polish that you want. From my experience, a successful marriage is a series of compromises. Not willing to compromise? Time to move on.

You may end up living in an empty refrigerator box under the railroad bridge but at least you can wear your choice of nail polish (if you can afford it).

[Eryn]

I'm pondering the viability of a relationship where such a trivial thing inspires the spouse to make a very derogatory statement. How much compromise is possible when any non-masculine action causes a strong rebuke?

[Robin414]

That statement is correct-ish as a snapshot of our culture at this very moment, but it ignores that women had to fight to make that happen. And in other cultures at this moment in time that is not the case. Transgender people (not just crossdressers) are slowly making headway toward changing the culture, thanks mostly to strong allies and a culture that for the moment is looking to be more accommodating to small-segment groups like us. Complaining about women having succeeded in their efforts doesn't help anyone. Take inspiration from the women and enlist them as allies in moving the culture to the place we want it to be.

Wow Jennie, thats an awesome point! I honestly never thought of it from that perspective, I just learned something! ☺

Hey...wait a minute...I'm a guy (sort of, maybe a ltitle bit)...I know everthing 😠 LOL 😉

[Krisi]

This is a quote from another thread but if you replace "shaving" with wearing nail polish, I think it's a good reply (emphasis added):


As someone who once shaved his legs without discussing with his wife (leading to a big fight), I recommend that you remind her of your "deal," but say that you wanted to make sure she is still okay with it. It is not the same as asking for permission; instead you are demonstrating that her feelings matter to you. It's important that we let our partners know that the CDing is not more important than them (unless it is, in which case, you should tell her and give her the option to move on with her life).

[Gabby6790]

I am in a similar situation. Not out, got the toenails painted with permission. Shaved legs "for her". She clearly doesn't like the toenail polish. She was kind of back and forth with the shaved legs but recently we had a conversation where she told me she didn't like them shaved. I said I like it and it was okay with it.

We are getting to the point where it is time for another pedicure and I have a feeling she isn't going to want me to get color.

The conversation I am thinking about having is WHY she doesn't like the toenail color and the shaved legs. She really likes my shaved chest and we all know how nice a freshly shaved pair of legs feels. I think if she was honest with me the answer would be "I don't like it because guys aren't supposed to shave their legs or paint their toes". I KNOW if she got past that fact she would enjoy both.