How do men react to a thicker cd?

[Jennifer1991]

So this is my first post since my intro.I hope I'm posting this in the right area 😕 This coming Friday my s/o will be helping me seriously dress for the first time. Now at the moment, I have all male features from body hair to weight...which is wear I'm nervous...my s/o said that if I'd like we could go out to a gay bar so I could show off the new me. I really want to but I weigh 280lbs😔. My question is have any of you ladies noticed if people are just as attracted to a thick cd as they would be a thick BF? (I would like to fit in ya know?)or does anyone have a tip on concealing my tummy?

[OCCarly]

I am not a big girl, but as a hobbyist in the art world, I've drawn and painted my share of "Rubenesque" women, and I know a thing or two about tricking the eye. For hiding a tummy, empire waist dresses and tunics are just the thing. The other big trick is to pad the hips and derriere enough to balance things out and make you look like a gg. And don't forget to look into girdles and shapewear to hold the padding and hold the tummy in place. Just make sure you leave yourself a way to get things out if you need to tinkle while you are out having a good time.

Also, remember that bigger girls tend to have bigger breasts, and they usually tend to sit a bit lower on the chest, so take this into account when you are working with bra and forms -- unless you are one of those lucky girls who has enough breast tissue to load a push up bra and make some cleavage, or help things out with duct tape and chicken cutlets.

And do not discount or forget the value of hair. Really long hair may or may not work for you, depending on the shape of your face, but "big" thick hair with volume out to the sides tends to help minimize broad shoulders a little bit, which is why some of the bigger shouldered drag queens tend to go big on the hair.

In terms of attraction, don't worry. Be yourself. You'll fit in just fine.

[Jennifer1991]

Thank you so much OCCarly 😄 thone are the kind of tips I've been looking for!!! Haha I need to do some shopping!

[josrphine]

Hi Jenn, I was a 265 gurl plus 5' 9' when I came out, I did feel out of sorts. Like your wife said my friend another skinny girl said come on . So I did . U will find that most of us are in the same boat so to speak. I worked on how I looked to have a more real woman face an watched other real women when I was out, man an woman. I have worked on my face, I do have women ask if I am a man or women, that is when you know that u got the look down. I am now down to 220 an hoping to still lose more. That is a 16 to 14 size dress ,skirt an pants that I now wear. I don't know how old you are I am guessing that 1961 is 54. Once you get over the feeling that every one is looking at you. it won't mater just go with your wife every were you can. I do an we have a good time just like any other girl friends.Jo

[Jennifer1991]

Hey Josephine I am NOT 54!!! Lmao I'm 24 haha that's 1.9.9.1 but yeah my biggest concern is that people will automatically know I'm fraud because of my size. Has me nervous for sure!

[kittie60]

Hi Jennifer1991; Well from what I have seen there are people for every body type their is out there. I myself am in that category. If you are going to a gay bar please make sure its CD friendly. Some are and some are not. I have a few gay friends and they are very accepting of who I am but not all are. Also you could try foundation farmers or corsets for the tummy area. They do help but the corset takes some getting use to if you've never worn one. Good luck and have a grand time of it.and kudos to your wife for accepting Jenifer.

[josrphine]

Hi Jenn, I'm old what can I say , SORRY.

[Tracii G]

How can you me a fraud if you are being you?
You need to lose that attitude real quick IMO because you are limiting your potential.
Find a nice A line dress or a nice top and a skirt.
I used to be quite the big girl and I never worried about my belly all that much.
Long sweaters do a great job of hiding a belly.
Add breast forms and a padded panty and call it good.
If you have a female ish face then just add make up and go have a good time.

Oh and if you have an SO why are you worried about men?
If you are going to a gay bar not much chance of gay men hitting on a girl or CD for that matter they are interested in men.
I mean guys that look like guys not guys dressed like women.

[Jennifer1991]

Josephine your totally fine haha and thanks Traci for the advice. The bar we want to go to is an LGBTQ bar. Me and my S/O are both bisexuals. And we wanna be able to flirt with others at the bar. She wouldn't have much of an issue in that department but I on the other hand am hoping to be cute enough that I can find a guy THAT LIKES CD to flirt and maybe even dance with. Just wanna have fun ya know?😉

[Tracii G]

OK if you have that kind of relationship I see your point.
Its not too hard to find a guy that likes CD's most anywhere so an LGBTQ bar won't be the magic place to go.
Being gay myself and going to a gay bar in girl mode pretty much means I'll be by myself all night.

[Jenniferathome]

.... My question is have any of you ladies noticed if people are just as attracted to a thick cd as they would be a thick BF? (I would like to fit in ya know?)...

Jennifer, I am one to be pragmatic and your words tell me that you want to "pass" as a natural woman. THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. But most importantly, it does not need to happen to "fit in." If you think there is some magical combination of clothes and make up that will cause the general public to think you are a natural woman, it does't exist. Cross dressers have too many male features to "fool" anyone. I do not pass and I know I do not pass. However, when I am out, everyone is cordial and I have never had a bad experience nor have I even been made to feel unwelcome. What will make you comfortable is your attitude. It's ok for you to be wherever you want to go, dressed. You will be with your SO. Relax and have fun. Don't look over your shoulder. Keep your head up and smile. By the way, you don't need a gay bar to have fun. ANYWHERE is ok.

And I agree with Tracii , by the way.

[Tracii G]

Well said Jennifer.

[CD-Gina]

Well said Jennifer

[Jennifer1991]

Well I know that I'm never gonna be a true woman or probably at a close range even fool anyone...but what I would like to do is be under the radar at a passing glance. Maybe it's because I am still extremely new to all this but yes I am very nervous that people will see me and think of me as a him instead of a her. BUT, with the right look I know I CAN be comfortable and not "looking over my shoulder". And as far as what bar I go to...I just wanna go to a place where I will have a chance of seeing other crossdressers and admirers. If that means a gay bar, LGBTQ bar or a damn hooker corner!!!.....sorry I'm flustered about all this. 😓 I just wanna go some where that I will be excepted. Even if that means they know that duh! Yes Im a guy...but at least they would be intrested. For me, that is the end goal for now.

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Going out this way in public makes me nervous because I don't want to go somewhere and be ridiculed or be put down. And no one does. I especially don't want my SO to have to be there to see that. but I would like to think there's a place I can go where I have a good chance of fitting in.

[Tracii G]

A bar that caters to the LGBT community is not a bad choice by any means.
You should fit in no problem.
Your attitude and how you carry yourself means a whole lot.By that I mean the walk, the mannerisms you use help to complete the package.
Jennifer is right passing as a GG for us is hard so hard in fact there will be more than one give away we forgot to address while dressing.
Again just relax and have fun.

[Jennifer1991]

☺thanks tracii!!! I'll show what's what 😆

- - - Updated - - -

I'll show them*** lol

[Jacqueline StGermain]

Hi Jennifer, Take a walk around and you'll see not all women are a size 6
It's great that your SO is helping!
One thing about having a little extra " padding ", is you can manipulate and re-distribute it.
Cinch the waist, tape the chest for cleavage, ACT like a girl, you'll be fine.
Some of the first places I went to and actually interacted with people were gay bars ( they were sorta "mainstream", with both gay and straight clientele), the SO may not go for the leather bar scene.
Enjoy

[SuzanneS]

A GG friend of mine told me that even though I may be a bigger girl, if I just "own it" in public nobody will question it. She's right....

Suzanne

[Karren H]

Girls with curves rock no mater what gender they were born.

[Robin414]

Anyone seen Rebel Wilson? A larger size woman who's totally hot!

[maryelizabeth]

Agreed. Fat bottomed girls make the rockin' world go 'round!

[docrobbysherry]

Jenn, your post touches on quite a few T issues". Passing. Confidence. Acceptance when out. Going out, where? Attractive and attracted to who? Finally, your appearance. The last one maybe I can help:

Post a pic of yourself. Then, we may be able to give u constructive advice without guessing!:daydreaming:

[Jennifer1991]

Thanks for the positive thoughts everyone😄 sherry the only picture I have is from when I was a closet dresser. I was a train wreck with a Halloween wig lmao but ok how do I post a photo on this?

[Danitgirl1]

FWIW I would say tread lightly.
This seems to be quite a lot for you as a couple to deal with in one go.
Dressing in front of your SO is a BIG DEAL. She may or may not react well and each time is different.
Going out with your SO is a BIG DEAL. She may or may not react well and each time is different.
You getting hit on by a man in a gay bar (and yes it CAN HAPPEN although as pointed out it does NOT happen all the time), may not be a big deal when you are en homme, but en femme it could be a BIG DEAL for your wife. It can bring up all sorts of issues about you, about her, about your relationship etc etc.
For the sake of simplicity perhaos take it one step at a time:
Dress
Go out dressed
Go out dressed with intent to flirt

Do not do all at once or you may never know where the issues (if there are issues) lie...

You may progress quickly, you may not progress at all but of you value the relationship you will put that first.

Oh and sadly men are often shallower than women. Looks are way more important for most men than most women.
Take a look at this video clip if you need more information https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPAat-T1uhE
So brace yourself... Sometimes a thick skin is needed.
Having said that there are many different types out there and you never know whose type you may be
Good luck :hugs:


:2c:

[audreyinalbany]

Whoa! Daniella, that is the MOST interesting clip. Thanks for posting it. I think it says something really important to all of us in the transgender community.

[Cheryl T]

We come in all shapes and sizes just like everyone else.
Just go and have fun...

[ReineD]

Looking at your thread title, "How do men react to a thicker CD", is it just men you are concerned with or does it matter how women react to you as well. In other words, do you want general acceptance as a human being who exercises their right to present in a way that reflects who they feel they are internally, or do you particularly want men to find you attractive.

If you do want men to find you attractive, men have a variety of tastes in women. Some men rather prefer bigger girls, in fact there are lots of websites about this. And some men prefer thinner girls. We can't generalize.

[sara.rafaela]

Hi Jenn,

I go out quite a bit and I do not pass, but I try. I have found that at the right location, no one really cares. I have danced all night with a group of beautiful women, had interesting talks about science with other fellow techies, and had a great time in general. I used to be worried about the voice, but again, no one seems bothered by it. I used to be worried about mainstream locations like hotel lobbies, restaurants, and convenience stores. Again no one seems to concerned about how I look. I would recommend to do your best with the makeup and fashions; for me this is the funnest and most interesting part of the process, and just experiment with going out.

Sara