How to ask the SO

[Peach13]

Hello guys and gals! So last winter I shaved my legs while away doing my job in the Middle East. I LOVED IT! However when I got home the missus didn't really like it that much (she said it turned her off but then proceeded to be on top of me 4-5 times a week) and wondered what was happening to me (I had not long told her about my fem side). Anyways we came to the agreement that I would let myself go natural during spring summer and autumn but in winter I can have silky smooth legs again. The only problem is that was a while ago we had that talk and I don't know weather to ask for permission or agreement or to just do it. I don't want to cause an atmosphere by asking over dinner or whatever, I don't want to chicken out by asking via text and I'm not sure if just doing it without talking first is wise. What's your thought? I know I'm a grown man and all that but I can't let the fog dictate this time. Peach x

[cdbrandi]

I would have the conversation while in the car driving somewhere or while doing something other than eating, and I would bring it up as a question along the lines of do you remember the conversation we had (whenever it was) talking about me shaving my legs do we still want to hold to that decision? That way it gives you the chance to bring it up and leave yourself a graceful out if she has changed her mind.

[melissa247]

maybe bring it up before you shower someday,out of the blue.see if she bites or is like,,aaahhhh....no!...then you will know what she thinks..sounds to me like she kind of liked it though.maybe she likes the smoothness as well.good luck

[Peach13]

I would have the conversation while in the car driving somewhere or while doing something other than eating, and I would bring it up as a question along the lines of do you remember the conversation we had (whenever it was) talking about me shaving my legs do we still want to hold to that decision? That way it gives you the chance to bring it up and leave yourself a graceful out if she has changed her mind.

Hey Brandi! Thanks for your suggestion! How would you bring it up in the car though? Would that not be the same as asking over dinner etc? Am I being a bit girly about it? Should I just man up and ask? Haha that's not a serious question :) x

- - - Updated - - -

Thanks Melissa! You're right it's probably what will happen. It's just hair though, it does grow back so if she freaks then a month later.... Viola!!! Gross hair!!! Lol

[Pat]

I think I'd phrase it more like "I'm so looking forward to winter so I can shave my legs again! Man, I love that! Are we talking winter solstice or after Thanksgiving?" Just to show you have a stake in the outcome. ;)

[Lena]

Ask for acceptance, not permission..... Like. I'm going to shave my legs this weekend for the winter like we had agreed. Thanks so much for understanding.

Of course, you can always give her the option to enjoy intimate time with the left hair before it goes.

[SuzanneS]

Ask for acceptance, not permission..... Like. I'm going to shave my legs this weekend for the winter like we had agreed. Thanks so much for understanding.

Of course, you can always give her the option to enjoy intimate time with the left hair before it goes.

↑↑↑ That..... or just shave your legs because you want to!.....Okay, so maybe that don't work so well. How about asking her to STOP shaving her legs?

Fine...I've never been married, but still, If I like the feel of my smooth legs, I keep them shaved...and I do. If I want to grow a beard...I will. But I don't.

If your wife wants to let her eyebrows get out of hand, she can. If she wants her hair long, she lets it grow. If she wants it short, she gets it cut.

If she wants to participate in "No-shave November"....she does..... Right?

Just sayin'. ;)

Suzanne

[Dana44]

Well I would ask for acceptance. However I would do it like you shave your face. For example many men save their chest and back, arms and such naturally. You can watch youtube videos on that. I started that years ago and now I do not have much hair on my legs. What sticks out I shave off like around the knees. As long as you are manly to her. She will probably not mind it. Strangely out in the swinging circuit. Every body is completely shaved for cleaner sex. That pretty much amazed me. So, shaving the body should not be an issue. I hate back hair and on my butt especially in the summer.

[Babbs]

an agreement is an agreement...just shave them and if its a real problem, thank her for going back on her word and then just let the hair grow back

[Anne K]

Hi Peach13, The way I handled the situation is that I just started shaving with the electric razor in the morning and did not make a big deal about it. Frankly, I enjoy not having body hair, so the shaving morphed into shaved legs arms, etc. Sometimes, I shave in the evening as well. My SO has never mentioned anything to me. All is well. I understand that your SO may initially be more sensitive to the subject, but I wonder if you just shaved to whatever degree works for you and not made a big deal about it, she would just go along with the program.

So, let's look at the dance you have wiht your SO. Going back to a thread you posted about a grocery guy delivering groceries whale you were dressed, I have to reflect that your SO gave you a warning about the visitor. That was really nice and indicates to me that she is flexible. After all, she jumped you after "expressing" her concerns. My guess is that she is wrestling with a reality that she never anticipated. Perhaps, she needs to warm up to the depth of life with Peach13. My SO has expressed a similar reaction. We talk open;y and are working through it nicely. So, give it time and ease into it. Peace.

[Stephanie47]

I'd be asking her if there was any correlation between your hairless legs and her romantic activities. You may want to suggest having a smooth body along with baby oil makes for a terrific massage.

[Peach13]

Thanks so much! All good replies and have given me something to think about :).

[Danitgirl1]

Go with your gut.
You know her way better than we do...

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I have to agree with the ladies saying to ask for acceptance and not permission.

While she may be more comfortable setting limits they should be discussed between the two of you and not dictated by her.

As to where and when to bring up the subject, your the best judge of that.

I understand completely about only shaving during the colder months as that's what I do as well. Once the kids leave home next year I'll be looking to stay shaved year round, I hope!

[Katya@]

Hi Peach,
Knowing how CD is usually progressing, I wouldn't waist time and confuse your wife further. Do yourself a favor and read about tips for SO acceptance and just come out clean when time is right. Do you really want to hear a question when one day she will caught you "Why didn't you tell me right away?" You can use this opportunity about shaving legs as to why you do it, how it makes you feel, etc.

[Beverley Sims]

Just mention when the time comes that you are going to shave your legs.

You should be able to ascertain her attitude from any reaction you may get.

"THE LAST THING YOU DO IS SEND HER A TEXT MESSAGE"

[Krisi]

I cannot believe that a man would ask his wife something like this in a text message if they are living together. What ever happened to talking (in person)?

If there was an agreement that you would shave your legs in winter (it's not winter yet), Just casually mention "It's winter, I guess it's time to shave my legs again." and see what she says. Or, you could ask her to pick you up a razor the next time she is at the store.

[pamela7]

if your'e going to be feminine then your SO needs balance, so TELL HER, you're doing it - be xdressed masterfully!!!

[JamieG]

As someone who once shaved his legs without discussing with his wife (leading to a big fight), I recommend that you remind her of your "deal," but say that you wanted to make sure she is still okay with it. It is not the same as asking for permission; instead you are demonstrating that her feelings matter to you. It's important that we let our partners know that the CDing is not more important than them (unless it is, in which case, you should tell her and give her the option to move on with her life).

[Nikki Elle Wife]

Since you have a deal and it is winter....remind her and shave the legs. Maybe by the end of the season she will like it/or be used to it enough to forget hairy spring, summer, and fall.

[alwayshave]

My ex-wife was famous for making a deal for later, so she could state she changed her mind when the time came. She would only agree to later so she did not have to argue about it in the present. I'm not talking abut cross dressing, I'm talking about everything. So stand firm, don't ask for permission, tell her that according to your agreement, you are going to go ahead and shave your legs.

[Nikki Elle]

Here are my thoughts, my other half already chimed in....she said go for it.

1) Are you having other issues regarding your feminine side with her? conflicts?
2) Is she tolerant or accepting of the situation?

Because you ask the question, the assumption is it may cause conflict or a fight; otherwise why ask. If you push a situation with resistance it potentially makes it worse. I think broaching the situation and feeling out her reaction is appropriate. Several people have advised reminding her of the agreement - this approach allows her to express her views and you can read the situation. From the little facts I know of your situation, taking it slow with patience seems appropriate.

[Peach13]

Here are my thoughts, my other half already chimed in....she said go for it.

1) Are you having other issues regarding your feminine side with her? conflicts?
2) Is she tolerant or accepting of the situation?

Because you ask the question, the assumption is it may cause conflict or a fight; otherwise why ask. If you push a situation with resistance it potentially makes it worse. I think broaching the situation and feeling out her reaction is appropriate. Several people have advised reminding her of the agreement - this approach allows her to express her views and you can read the situation. From the little facts I know of your situation, taking it slow with patience seems appropriate.

Thanks for your views peeps!

I went ahead and done it a few days ago without talking about it etc. I don't know if she has noticed yet or has but hasn't said anything! I guess we will find out tonight after our planned date night! If it does cause any fuss I will remind her we have already talked this one through. It's just hair at the end of the day and it's my body to do what I want with. There is pretty much only 2 seasons in Scotland, winter and warmer winter so I think I've done not bad holding off until November :)

Nikki Elle

1- yes there had been mildly heated discussions since telling her but nothing crazy and it has massively improved in the last year.

2- I guess so she married me not so long ago! She said "it is what it is"

I don't expect any shopping trips anytime soon though!

Thanks :)

[Nikki Elle]

Peach13,

Well now you went and did it....lol Let us know how things work out!

[Peach13]

Peach13,

Well now you went and did it....lol Let us know how things work out!

Things worked out ok! Not a word mentioned following our intimate times :). My wife is a star!