TracyDeluxe
02-13-2006, 09:42 PM
Maybe this has been brought up before, but I have always been somewhat confused, or curious, or whatever.
TS's have a "woman inside them", right? Or they are a "woman in a man's body."
Maybe I should give a little background, and you can see why this interests me, OK? Since my first thoughts (that I can really remember), I have always wanted to be a girl, and later, a woman. Until I was 10 or so, I didn't know what this was, or what was going on, but then I saw the C. Jorgenson book, and finally had a label to put on my feelings. More research finally led me to a gender clinic in my early 20's, and I began the long and erratic (for me) path to SRS.
But I always wanted my counselers to tell me, definatively, that I either was, or was not, a real transsexual, and of course they never would. They would never just come out and say, "Oh my God, of course you are a woman in a man's body, and should have a sex change immediately, if not sooner!" :D
But I went through the hoops as they were presented to me, and got hormones, had preliminary surgeries (trachea shave, implants, electrolysis), and was approved for SRS. Then the bottom fell out of my world (kicked out of nursing school for being TS), and I had to use the money I had earmarked for surgery just for living expenses. But I continued, and continue to this day, to live in the female role.
Now here's my question, or my point, or both, really. I never really thought I was a woman in a man's body. I mean, I WANTED to be a woman, I knew I had many womanly thoughts and feelings and tendancies, I was pretty sure I would be much happier being a woman, but I always knew I was male, and hence a man. A man who SHOULD have been born a woman, but not a woman!
Now of course, if one is to have SRS, one MUST declare that they ARE a woman in a man's body (or the other way around for FtM's), but I never really felt that way, just, as I've said, that I SHOULD have been born a female.
Does this make any sense, have other's felt this way? Is it just a question of semantics?
Or was I just too thickheaded, and the above feelings I had were what was meant by "being a woman in a man's body?"
I mean, I am happy where I am now, but I have always been curious about this.
edit: Sorry, I should have read more posts here, even if the header didn't seem to address this issue, because I see other's have the same thoughts and questions. My bad.
TS's have a "woman inside them", right? Or they are a "woman in a man's body."
Maybe I should give a little background, and you can see why this interests me, OK? Since my first thoughts (that I can really remember), I have always wanted to be a girl, and later, a woman. Until I was 10 or so, I didn't know what this was, or what was going on, but then I saw the C. Jorgenson book, and finally had a label to put on my feelings. More research finally led me to a gender clinic in my early 20's, and I began the long and erratic (for me) path to SRS.
But I always wanted my counselers to tell me, definatively, that I either was, or was not, a real transsexual, and of course they never would. They would never just come out and say, "Oh my God, of course you are a woman in a man's body, and should have a sex change immediately, if not sooner!" :D
But I went through the hoops as they were presented to me, and got hormones, had preliminary surgeries (trachea shave, implants, electrolysis), and was approved for SRS. Then the bottom fell out of my world (kicked out of nursing school for being TS), and I had to use the money I had earmarked for surgery just for living expenses. But I continued, and continue to this day, to live in the female role.
Now here's my question, or my point, or both, really. I never really thought I was a woman in a man's body. I mean, I WANTED to be a woman, I knew I had many womanly thoughts and feelings and tendancies, I was pretty sure I would be much happier being a woman, but I always knew I was male, and hence a man. A man who SHOULD have been born a woman, but not a woman!
Now of course, if one is to have SRS, one MUST declare that they ARE a woman in a man's body (or the other way around for FtM's), but I never really felt that way, just, as I've said, that I SHOULD have been born a female.
Does this make any sense, have other's felt this way? Is it just a question of semantics?
Or was I just too thickheaded, and the above feelings I had were what was meant by "being a woman in a man's body?"
I mean, I am happy where I am now, but I have always been curious about this.
edit: Sorry, I should have read more posts here, even if the header didn't seem to address this issue, because I see other's have the same thoughts and questions. My bad.