Dressing in front of infant?

[Danielle_cder]

Hey all hope everyone is well,

Im finally getting a night some what to myself, my wife is going out with some friends so I get to take care of our little one tonight. My wife is very supportive of my other side but we were both wondering about her seeing Aunt Danielle ;) any input would be great.

Thnx

-d

[cdbrandi]

I have a now 7 year old little one. She knows I like to wear girls clothes, wig and make up sometimes. And when she got old enough to start asking about it, I told her that I wear those things because sometimes I like to look like a girl, but that no matter what I am wearing I will always be her dad and she should call me dad as well. She has grown up knowing that this is something that I like to do, but that we do not talk about it to people that do not live in the house with us.

[Jaylyn]

An infant I wouldn't think that would be a problem. Having raised four kids though I can tell Brandi that a seven year is risky because they do enjoy talking....my kids couldn't keep a secret and being a teacher for a while I can say kids really say the darnedest things..... I think she'll be talking about it sooner or later. Just be prepared.

[cdbrandi]

I am sure she will, but to try to head it off before it happens every so often I have the talk with her about not telling other people.

[heatherdress]

I doubt there is much significance to being dressed in front of infants, but I don't really know. There have been many different opinions about the young children issue expressed on this site. I suspect most opinions are unfortunately conjecture without the benefit of significant long term data or studies. Thoughts on this site are usually from the perspective of adult crossdressers, us, who want our children to be open-minded and accepting, like we are, as well as being understanding and accepting of our own crossdressing. Hopefully effects will be positive. There are many other parenting factors which are more important than clothing worn and appearance which will influence our children. But I don't think anyone can predict the eventual impacts, if any, either positive or negative, of crossdressing. I think we also have to consider the additional burdens we might place on our children if they are required to hide a secret. There is a lot to think about.

[Danielle_cder]

Thnx all,

It's always nice to have a good board :battingeyelashes:

-d

[Barbara Jo]

This reminds me of an incident that happened when was about two years old.
One night my parents were evidently going out to a special function and had to dress accordingly. I think it was some sort of banquet.

My mom came down stairs and I was absolutely horrified and fearful of her and I started to cry in full panic mode.
I wondered what happened to my mother!

You see.. it was the first time I had seen her in full makeup. This was in 1949 and the style for formal events was somewhat heavy makeup with bright lipstick.
It took a few minutes to convince me that everything was OK and it was only "makeup"

[Pat]

"Infant" usually means under a year old. At that age, I don't think their perceptions are especially visual so as long as you sound like you and you smell like you it's probably not an issue. In another year the kid will have a sense of "normal" and you'll have to decide what normality you're going to present to them.

[jenniferinsf]

i don't want to be downer here but recently i was a girls night out and talking with another, she told me a story that when she and her SO broke up, the SO used the instances of her dressing to convince the judge to rule against custody and visiting rights.

it is hard for me to say that because i do not want to believe it and the apocryphal story i believe to be true...there may have been other issues but don't know

i would be very cautious here relative to this issue as relationships, even the best ones, can go sideways

[Andrea Chenowith]

My daughter - now four - does not seem to recall the many times I dressed in front of her when she was two and three. This after she would say "Look, daddy, you have boobs like mommy!" in wide-eyed awe.

So I think you're fine. :-)

[LydiaL]

I have no experience dressing in front of a child. I did have experiences dressing in front of a pet (dog). My pet was confused until interacting with familiar play, talk, and I would guess smell. Actually did OK when we went for walks (me dressed) behind my home or on camp out trips/travel.

Still, I do not think that my pet, particularly as she got older and before she passed away, ever quite got used to my dressing.

Again, with no expertise on this subject, I might choose to not dress in front of an infant. Only phase such exposure to a child at a later age, and then only in the presence of both parents.

[Krisi]

Unless you plan on dressing around the child when she gets older and not hiding your dressing from her, I would not do it now. We have no way of knowing what affect it will have on her.

I don't specifically remember my mother dressing me as a girl when I was an infant but I suspect it has something to do with my crossdressing now.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Danielle:hugs:, That is a burden that for 46 & 48 years that I never wanted to lay on either one of my daughters. ...:daydreaming:...

[Vala]

I honestly think an infant doesn't mind, care or even realizes it when someone crossdresses. I'm no specialist but I believe that we humans are all born with blank minds. We do not know or understand the difference between right or wrong, young or old, male or female, straight or gay, etc. Etc. These are all things we learn as we grow up. And in my opinion in many cases closes our minds and makes us part of the sheep herd called society.

For example (true story) last weekend my (ex)wife was away with our oldest daughter (almost 3 years old) and I was home with the youngest (8 months old).
I had a nice bath walked around in a robe and then gave her a bottle o milk. Afterwards I took her upstairs and started changing into some nice cloths while she was enjoying her self with some stuffed toys. When I was ready to put on my wig I called her name cause she was busy mumbling to a toy. She looked up, I put on my wig, she smiled and then... then .. she attacked the toy cause for some reason the ear looked tasty. But then again she will put anything in her mouth.
The rest of the day I did a lot of cleaning and playing and it was a nice day with many smiles. The only time she wasn't happy was when the vacuum cleaner was turned on.

I also believe that because of this kind of behavior my oldest daughter doesn't mind or care, although she will probably expose me to the world someday.
(Also true story) Not to long ago I was applying nail polish and sat down next to me and said that it smelled nice, eewwwww I do like nail polish but the smell os gross. Anyway when my first hand was done she said "daddy pretty nails, me two" while sticking out her hands <3

[Gwinnie]

I wonder about this too. I have a 9 month old. A few weeks ago my wife and I were out and I was dressed. I was carrying him around and felt really strange about it. I want to teach him that this is all okay, but I'm worried about him talking or someone else saying something to him about it. Several times I have wanted to go out while my wife was working, but I've been nervous about going out with just him and me.

Gwendolyn

[Rachel PT]

A 9 month old should not be a problem. However, I worry about the pets! Ever since that sheep incident.......

[raeleen]

I used to dress on occasion in front of my kids when they were infants, and I don't feel like it impacted them at all. Since then my wife and I have also decided to be a little more open and honest around the kids and talked about how daddy likes to be able to wear dresses sometimes. They literally didn't spend more than two seconds thinking about it before moving on (they're 5 and 8 now.) I haven't fully dressed in front of them recently, but it feels nice to not have it seem like a secret or something we hide from them. I think that when we look at it as a burden and treat it like something secretive or wrong, that's how they carry it. Being honest, and being able to talk about it more freely helps them to be able to learn that there's nothing wrong with being your truest self.

It's a journey though, and not for everyone. Obviously depending on how comfortable you are about it being potentially outed will influence how much you open up with your kids.

[Kate T]

I have one absolute rule with children.

You never EVER ask them to lie for you. That is a cowardly request. If you are worried about them "telling" don't dress in front of them. But don't you dare expect them to hide your secrets.

[Scarlett Viktoria]

I did dress in front of each of my kids once or twice while they were infants. May not have worn wig though, don't remember. They don't mind. Early toddles have an amazing memory, but that memory gets whiped clean as they move out of toddler years. Keep in mind there are no real hard rules about ages. Also, it's not exactly lieing if are teaching them about respecting privacy and you wish that people outside of the home didn't know about it. It becomes lieing if the child is asked about it and is forced to not tell the truth.

Dsclaimer: I am not a dr. lol...nor do I play one on tv.

[Danielle_cder]

Hey all!

Thank you for all the great info :) my wife did not go out with her friends so I didn't get to dress, no big deal.

I very much appreciate all of your input!

Thank you again

-d