Rant about feature in press !

[Teresa]

The title was " My husband's a cross-dressing bully ! This was from the Daily Mail in the UK yesterday.

I don't know if we are allowed to mention names but the story line was a 50 year old who abused his 60 year old wife and her daughter. Kicking her in the stomach when she was pregnant and possibly harming her. He has a collection of clothes and shoes and goes out to meetings and spends his time on TS sites . He claims he's not gay or bisexual but haven't had sex for five years.

I just felt so annoyed by the damaging title when the connection between his behaviour and his CDing wasn't made.

The Email I sent is pasted below.

" .................................................. .................................
Dear Bel,

I do wish to keep my true identity hidden but if you have to refer to my comments Teresa is OK.. However this is not a discussion about me coming out or not but relates to the letter in your help column yesterday.

Yes John is an aggressive, overpowering bully and the treatment handed out to Vera and her daughter is inexcusable . Reading the letter I feel his nature would be the same whether he cross-dressed or not, normally it reduces stress and has a calming effect, especially when Vera knows and appears to accept it.

I will confess that my cross-dressing on odd occasions has induced an aggressive attitude, which I hate, at the same time I nearly ended my life twenty years ago through lack of understanding and acceptance.

I have wife and two adult children who know and three lovely grandchildren that don't, I try my hardest not to hurt them in any way through it,

To me it's not a hobby, I know through counselling that I was born transgendered but not transexual, it's something that you in the media are in a position to correct these distinctions. You can hurt many people by not doing your homework first.

The inner conflict in me has to be exorcised, the only way for me is to come out to people, to wear what I feel comfortable in and shop for my needs.
So I plead with you that before using dramatic titles please consider their relevance, I have to go out in the World and would hate hostility because of a misconception from bad press. Don't forget that there are many of us Worldwide struggling with these issues. "

.................................................. ......................


I have a feeling that others will have something to add to my feelings !
Some may think I've got it wrong but the media does need educating, please feel free to do your bit for this crusade !

[Carole]

Unfortunately Teresa, the item was in the Daily Mail, often referred to as the Daily Fail. Like other lower end newspapers they like to dramatise their headlines to get immediate attention and therefore boost sales figures. If the wife concerned is 60 the kicking she received whilst pregnant must have been a few years ago, why is she still with him? We'll never know the answer of course. Well done on emailing the column writer tho' but be careful that any answer is what you wrote and not her interpretation of your words. I've fallen foul of the press in the past, the report read totally differently to the way I relayed it to the reporter.

[Danitgirl1]

It is the Daily Mail... Ignore, move on...
Sorry not a fan of that rag.

[emma5410]

The Daily Fail
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eBT6OSr1TI

[Teresa]

I take the replies about the quality of the Mail and it's readership , that's why it annoyed me so much! They pander to the majority often ignoring the minority ! Quality shouldn't come into the equation but responsibility should, they are in a situation where they may influence many people, they must choose their words wisely !
I guess it says it all when it's given away as a free paper at Waitrose Supermarkets !

[JenniferR771]

My daughter wrote for a newspaper for a time. Better quality--but even so--after she wrote the story, the editor would write a "suitable" headline. Designed to grab maximum attention and to get the casual reader to stop turning the page and read the story. I understand most newspapers do this. The writer may or may not have control over the headline.

Be glad for the free press--it is fundamental to freedom-loving people.

And besides the "Mail" is an ideal size to line the bottom of bird cages.

[ChristinaK]

Teresa, that was a fantastic and appropriate response. I hope they print it. Yes, it seems that the writer used the CD part of the circumstances to denigrate us to the masses, which of course is pure sensationalism designed to get people to buy the paper so they could read the story and cement in their minds what they had suspicions of before, that we must be mentally unstable, twisted perverts.

Thank you for attempting to set them straight, hope they print it.

[Stephanie47]

Teresa, I understand why you would be pissed off at the content of the letter and even the fact, if at all true, cross dressing was mentioned. Even in our local television news there are stories that draw negativity towards men you wear women's clothing. I can think of one relatively recent case of a pervert dressing up as a woman so he could "upskirt" women and girls in a women's bathroom. He is NOT a crossdresser, but a man disguised as a woman for evil intent.

Yes, John in your newspaper, if the content is true, is not reflective of any man, whether a cross dresser or not.

[Katey888]

First off - don't knock Waitrose.... :bringiton: Finest supermarket cheese selection in the country, and pretty good butchery too... And no, I'm not a shareholder, because - a bit like the Green Bay Packers are fan-owned - they're employee-owned... :)

This is the Mail - frankly, do you expect probing, insightful or accurate journalism...? Hardly... :facepalm:

The headline could just as easily have been "My Husband's a bus-driving bully" (No offence to PSV licence holders here - just an example... :)) - but they didn't choose to highlight his occupation, or his qualifications, or what football team he supports... Why...? Because the stereotypical CDer is it more of a lurid, sexually-charged moniker to boost a headline...

Well done for doing your crusading bit (shouldn't that have been aimed at the Daily Express...? :thinking:) but you're flogging a brain dead horse there - with respect - all it serves to demonstrate is how much more should be done to prevent the continuing stereotyping of TG-folk (more chance of that than 'Just-CDers'.. :)) and how the Mail is only fit for wrapping fish and chips in except the EU stopped us from doing that... (and I think I read that in the Mail... ;))

Katey x

[Teresa]

Just to update this thread.
My Email has been accepted by the Femail editor and has been passed on to Bel Mooney ( author of the letter page ) for a reply .
This could be interesting so I'll keep you informed.

[PaulaQ]

I've known several women who were angry, belligerent and sometimes even violent prior to transition. After transition, this behavior went away, and generally they are nice as can be. The wrong hormones can make a person really volatile.