Voice... over

[Danitgirl1]

Hi everyone
So I have had issues with my voice for as long as I have been going out dressed.
I worry... Am I audible? Do I sound like a man? Do I sound ridiculous? Am I about to be laughed at? And more...
I have tried softening, raising and generally altering my voice... This can (almost) work if you are exchanging literally 3 words, and if you know what you are going to be saying so that you can rehearse, but as soon as you are in conversation... Let's just say things fall apart. Fast.

I recently went out in the company of GGs who did not know me before.
The overwhelming advice was not to stress. Go with my usual voice and relax.

This may serve a few of you as well. Admittedly I am not exactly the deepest bass around but I am resolving to stress less and just be natural. Ia m who I am if I get clocked, I get clocked. But it is probably better than being falsetto screech one second and Barry White the next!

Anyway just wanted to share that.

:hugs::2c:

[Cheryl_Layton]

Hi, Danni.
I'm assuming you've video'd yourself to see how you come across. It's a big eye-opener.
I try to raise my pitch slightly so it's just enough to be comfortable with and to speak clearly (it saves having to repeat yourself). I think that providing you present well as a woman, then unless you've got a deep voice you should be ok.

I always think that opinions from GGs are worth their weight in gold (assuming they had mass, of course!).

Cheryl x

[Krisi]

I think we all have issues with our voice when we go out. Talking like a woman is far more than raising the pitch of our voice. Women phrase things differently and typically talk faster and use more words to say the same thing. Listen to them sometime.

[kittie60]

Hi Daniel.
use to have the same problem, but I rectified that.
Start with your lowest voice and count to twenty. Each time go a little higher. So somewhere between 10 and 15 you should find a good match and keep practicing. It will work. Lol I remember when I started out I would wear a turtle neck and would use two pieces of gauze taped to both sides of my neck. Looked like I had throat surgery so if anybody gave me a weird look I pulled my neck down a little then it was alright. What we do for are lifestyle. Well take care and hope you find it helpful

[mykell]

hi dani,
i found this doing a search once, these guys troll black opps online and stuff, funny,
i practice in the car when driving....i think its harder for us as our fleshy bits have hardened more than these young ones, youth is wasted on the young....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAOfNTs5v-E

[Rachael Leigh]

So true I try to just soften mine and speak a little softer which for me isnt hard since I do normally anyway.
Im sure if I was in a conversation it would be harder but Im sure once anyone is face to face with me they will read me. I dont worry about that though since its usually while shopping so Im sure they have seen it all.

[Beverley Sims]

I tend to speak softly in female mode and I get by, not get away with it completely but a soft voice does help.

[IamWren]

I kind of understand the concept of using "head voice". My voice is naturally sort of in a mid range... an alto-ish sort of area I guess?... but it can get in a lower tenor range if I try.

I'll have to try the tips of that video that was recommended. (p.s. the comments on that vid are hysterical)

[Acastina]

I lived a full-time experiment for eight years in the 1980s. 24/7, jobs, friends, voting, the works. Practice may not quite make perfect, but it sure helps. What I learned:

It's not pitch so much as tone and delivery. To find a suitable pitch, I would watch movies with a relatively husky-voiced actress and parrot her lines back as she said them. With modern video technology, of course, one could loop the lines and repeat them over and over again. I'm a singer, so pitch control comes easily to me. Don't sing it, but speak as normally as you can after going up the scale a few notes. As Kittie suggested, go 20 notes up a scale and pick something around 15. The specialized therapists who work with TGs emphasize practice, practice, practice, just like learning a foreign language and getting pronunciation and accent right. Or learning a new song, for that matter.

It's important to remember that women tend to end their sentences with a sort of questioning inflection. Chalk it up to sexism and patriarchal culture, but it's most likely a slight shortfall of confidence in one's assertions that became generalized through culture, like those Valley Girl voices that so many modern women carry into adulthood. Practice it by making everything you say sound like a question until you get the hang of it.

Another often-overlooked facet of this is to give yourself internal permission to drop the facade of assertiveness and matter-of-fact declaration that pervades so much of male speech. It's OK to be a little silly, giggle a bit now and then, relax, smile more, comment on someone's outfit or shoes, and so forth. It's among the hardest things to remember to do, because you're desperately trying not to be conspicuous and naturally tend to tighten up. Loosen up your body language. Nothing says guy-in-a-dress like a stiff walk and robotic rigidity. There is something to the limp-wrist cliché.

A couple of anecdotes: I was talking to a guy in a TG bar in San Francisco about 15 years ago. He commented that he liked that I didn't have a put-on voice like so many of the others around us. I dropped down to my usual baritone and said, "Oh, really? So nice of you to say that." He nearly fell off his stool. My experience long ago has basically given me two voices. I recently went to a Halloween event as Little Red Riding Hood (well, Great Big Red Riding Hood) with my wife as the wolf. These were all a bunch of straight friends and strangers at a gathering of more than 100 people in costumes. I was in hose, black flats, a long black skirt, peasant blouse, a water bra for extra boobiness, my topper hairpiece, a rented red cape with hood, earrings, necklace, and full makeup. As we went in, I told my wife to signal me if I slipped into my second voice, which she knows well. I'd had a previous experience dressed as Dorothy from Oz and did slip while talking to a male friend. He gave me a strange look and asked why I was talking like that. It can become second nature with practice.

[JillSierra]

Thanks for posting this Dani. Haven't been out in a long time and that's the one thing that has always bothered me about going out, my voice is awful. But I like your advice "don't stress". Great hints from others too! Thanks

[Tracii G]

It takes time to get to the point you are comfy with the tone of your female voice.
Practice as much as you can.
I try to talk from the top of my voice box not the bottom.
The volume will drop by doing this and be a lot softer.
Enunciate correctly smile and use your hands more when you speak. That is usually enough to get by.

[JocelynJames]

I recently heard that you should definitely record yourself as the voice you hear when speaking ( singing was how it was in the context I heard this) is what you heard in your inner ear with the skull bones and what not. I have gawked when hearing my voice on a voicemail , while others say it sounds just like me. Give it a shot.

[MelanieAnne]

The voice is the hardest part. Really hard to change or conceal. Just keep quiet. If someone speaks to you, just start "signing" and waving your hands and arms. They won't have a clue what you're saying and will go away. Just smile and nod. :D

[Heidi Stevens]

Here's what I've done to become more passable, Dani. My natural voice is in a higher male range naturally. I can make lower by thinking about it. But that's the opposite of what I want. To pull off Heidi's voice I consciously remove the lower half of my natural voice. This is a great trick since it's my natural voice, nothing forced. So I just talk and try to make sure Mr. Bass does not show up. So if your voice is on the normal or high pitch range naturally, try to drop out the lower range and keep practicing on speaking in your natural upper range without stress.

[pamela7]

some great advice here, Acastina particularly. About 15 years ago, I learned to adapt my voice to who i was with. For a long time anyone around would find it a little funny as I talked to my kids at their voice tones, particularly when talking to the girls. It is practice, and there are some simple exercises to resonate sound from your belly to the top of your nose, and to focus where it comes from. Practising this can keep your voice to the top of throat/back of mouth which makes for that sexy deeper ladies' voice (normally means they have smoked for 30 years btw). "Don't go too high" is the mantra.

xxx

[josrphine]

Hi Danit, Yes go with your usual Voice, an I find that by talking slower it works for me. When ever the phone rings an i answer it, the caller almost alway said to me. Hi Melissa, I am pleased an say thank you my wife an I do sound the same. To my self on the other end. I am dressed as I live about 70% of the time as Josephine.

[Judith96a]

Some of you clearly know much more about this than I do, and have more practice. But here's a tip that I heard or read (can't remember which) some time ago. Men tend to use the full power of their chest and larynx to sing and speak. Try, instead, to keep your chest out of the equation. Push your voice up (from chest to larynx) and out (front of mouth rather than back of throat). Basically, if you're doing it right and you place your hand on your breast-bone while speaking you shouldn't feel any vibration! It's hard to describe but it really does change the timbre.
I'm badly out of practice, simply because I realised that since modifying my voice wouldn't compensate for the other things that prevent me from even remotely passing there wasn't much point - so Judith is a baritone!