How Do You Cope

[Rebecca Leigh]

I'm curious to find out how others cope with your urge/need/desire to let your feminine side out when you can't. My wife doesn't really understand my need to let Rebecca flourish, and to be honest life currently has me so busy the indulge even if I had the opportunity.

Some ways I cope are to go peruse the makeup, perfume, and jewelry counters at department stores. The smell of makeup and perfume is intoxicating to me. And, like many of you probably do, lingerie browsing. Getting to at least touch that wonderful feeling fabric that I so love against my skin.

Would love to hear what other gurls do.

Kisses,
Rebecca

[MissDanielle]

I'm always tempted to try on clothing at the malls, etc. The hard part for me is not having the courage to do that while drab.

[Christie ann]

Over the years when girl time has been lean I enjoy reading everyone's experiences here on Cd.com. It's great to know that somewhere there is someone going out and being themselves.

[Stephanie47]

It's called "retail therapy." Even being a retiree with much more time to be en femme than most I find tension builds up. Many times the tension has nothing to do with cross dressing, but, cross dressing has always been my stress reliever. If I cannot get my private en femme time it's perusing eBay and ultimately buying. In the last two weeks I've bought three new dresses, two full slips and two bras. I also peruse women's clothing on retail sites such as Macy's, JC Penny, etc.

[MissDanielle]

I've been doing a lot of perusing on retail sites of late and hoping some of these clothes are still listed when I buy them after I move next year.

[Rachelakld]

I find home renovation projects, or go camping or adventure sports.

[Samantha2015]

For me in between dress days I usually put on heels and keep my walking in practice.
Still feel like I'm having some girl time without going all in.
Keep toenails painted as long as I can, easy enough to hide as well.

[Katey888]

Hi Rebecca,

I like to keep my nails manicured and occasionally polished with colour (my wife accepts this as me being 'eccentric'...) - and my toenails can be done more often and still (obviously) be discreet... I'll keep my eyebrows neat and shaped too... these are little things that satisfy me on a daily basis but in fairness I know I probably don't need much to keep the Gender Gremlins at bay. :)

The biggest thing would be planning for another outing - that ALWAYS gets my constant attention as a background task when I know a real event is in the offing... and of course, shopping tends to go with that time and even the cheapest bling can be compensatory... :daydreaming:

Katey x

[Krisi]

I would think hanging around the makeup, perfume, and jewelry counters at department stores and such would make things worse, much like a recovering alcoholic hanging around bars and liquor stores.

I can dress pretty much as often as I like but there are times when my wife and I will be away and I can't dress. I just keep my mind on other things. I might think about dressing when I go to bed.

[sometimes_miss]

It usually hits me at work, when I cannot behave or dress anything like a female at all. So I just focus on one of the women there that I admire, and think about how they behave and dress every day, and how their life must be. Overhearing their discussions with each other helps as well.

[BillieAnneJean]

I feel fortunate. I get to go OUT enfemme once a week or so. Between times I don't get wistful or the urge does not get to me. I really only think about it the day before as I get the outfit ready and the day I am actually OUT. But when I am getting all done up and when I go OUT that door, I am having a great time. Why? Because I can cast any failures and disappointments, worries about the world, aside and just have fun. It kind of seems like the GGs do that when they are dancing. It seems like they are having a good time regardless. As a guy I was never able to let go like that. As Billie I can.

[IamWren]

I find home renovation projects, or go camping or adventure sports.

:heehee: This actually made me laugh out loud. When my female co-workers asked what I was laughing about I had to make up a story.

Anyway, I don't really get to dress very often because I am not out to my wife or family. Very closeted. In fact, I get to dress so little that the next time I get to go full tilt girly probably won't be until next September, which, by then will have been a year since the last time I dressed. I only recently started dressing... maybe six, eight, nine? months ago?... and this September was the first time I dressed with makeup and everything.

But I'm lucky in that it isn't a deep seeded need I feel to dress although it does occupy my thoughts everyday. Maybe because this forum and some of the ladies here have become important to me. To fend off any upsetting thoughts about not getting to dress I watch a lot of makeup tutorials on youtube. They can be quite entertaining and very informative. I also just stumbled on Ru Paul's Drag Race. I'm surprised at how much I like watching that show.

But honestly... one of the ways that helps me cope with not dressing is hearing the stories of you ladies and how you get out with friends, go to the mall, go to lunch, go dancing. I like seeing the pictures and the smiles on your faces. That helps a lot, too. Please do keep them coming.

Muah!
Sayyidah

[Tara Rushing]

But honestly... one of the ways that helps me cope with not dressing is hearing the stories of you ladies and how you get out with friends, go to the mall, go to lunch, go dancing. I like seeing the pictures and the smiles on your faces. That helps a lot, too. Please do keep them coming.


Exactly.

[Lily Catherine]

I generally occupy myself with other things, and carry on with life as usual. I mean, I am Lilian. The clothes don't become Lilian.

When I feel like it I do fantasy shop though it's increasingly disappointing every round.

[Beverley Sims]

When I had long periods without dressing I did find it frustrating at times.

Now days I have too many projects to occupy my time.

Sometimes dressing even gets in the way.

talk about a turnaround. :-)

[Cheryl James]

This thread really hit a nerve with me because your situation mirrors mine. My coping is done by playing golf or tennis AND reading the threads on this site. Dressing everyday would be way better, though.

[Julie Denier]

If I cannot get my private en femme time it's perusing eBay and ultimately buying.

This is me, too - I have to watch myself ;)

[Jennifer_Ph]

I always wear pantyhose. Underdressing it's called. It helps!

[Pat]

I'm like Lillian -- I cope by being me. Don't get me wrong, I love the clothes, but clothes don't make me who I am, they just make it more enjoyable. So I track down all the things about maleness that aren't "me" and I try to change them. I replace the learned male attitudes with new ones that I'm happier with in any presentation. I try to be less aggressive, less dismissive, more compassionate. I also work on my movement -- my girly-walk is the same regardless of if I'm in man-shoes or woman-shoes. Does that "out" me? Dunno. People have a wide range of acceptable motion. I don't think anyone's going to call me out on it.

So basically, I guess I'm saying when I have to present male, I cross-dress male. ;)

[kittie60]

After all of the years not coping I decided to underfeeds first. That was great until the real me kept wanting to emerge. So then on it was just simple things like a new nail Polish or 2to 3 PS of stockings etc. But since I dress full time its so much easier. Sometimes just the little things gives us enjoyment

[Dana44]

I went last week without dressing and I feel it. But I feel a bit frustrated and look forward to be able to. But I still do some girly things as a guy to satisfy my urges. Like looking at fashions in magazines and planning for when I can. I was my feminine side all last weekend as a guy in mens clothes. I just promised myself that I will dress and put on makeup next time and plan an evening out with my SO.

[Athena_]

Some of the responses really hit home. I have the urge to dress almost daily, but as my DADT marriage, teenage children, and work responsibilities really limit my time I can dress. I love to live vicariously through the members of this forum who have the time and courage to dress often. I spend time at work appreciating the women in the office and the care that some of them take with their appearance. Some days, I can usually get a quick fix of dressing in while my wife is in the shower. Still sneaky even though she knows.

[reb.femme]

I wear my girl undies all the time now and my toenails are painted too. Pretty lilac this week. Plus my whole upper body, under arms and legs are shaved. Other than that, I don't make much of an effort. :heehee:

Seriously, I don't dress fully most weeks, so the above salves my pangs.

Becky

[mikayla1964]

I don't get to fully dress like I want to .I don't have a wife or even a girlfriend at the moment but I am raising a child so that cuts the time way back. I read the forums a lot.But I have to say I would go totally nuts if I didn't wear a bra and panties everyday.It doesn't feel natural to me anymore to wear those drab male under clothes.I wear a 38B bra unpadded for daily wear and under my work uniform it doesn't show.But honestly it drives me crazy wearing mens clothes when I could be so much more comfortable in Mikayla's clothes..

[AnnaMarie]

'How do i Cope?
I struggle...
From going months without dressing and thinking I'd never want to do it again, to watching others dressed and thinking they look strange, to compulsively wanting to dress all the time. I wish I understood what was going around in my own head sometimes.

[Tracii G]

I feel very fortunate that I can and do dress as a mix everyday.
All girl mode dressing happens frequently because its just how I feel that day.

[Andrea2656]

As trite as it sounds, one way I have found to cope is to join this forum. From the wide range of experiences expressed in the posts it is clear that this community is very varied and has dramatically different experiences. However, when that does not work, it is also good to "window shop" on the internet!

[Alice Torn]

Annamarie, i can relat a lot to you. I go to the libraries and spend a lot of time there on the internet, as i have no home internet. A few librarians are quite attractive, especially on, who wears dresses most of the time, ans laughs an awful lot. I kind of envy her social ease, in conversing, and laughing much, and being allowed to dress very stylish, and attractive, even though she is married. Some times, i cope by observing the women at the library, but , sometimes i feel so sad, to be a socially stunted, lonely, older low income unwanted male, socially stifled, observing the socially gifted females. Sometimes, i don't want to dress at all, and sometimes, i get the dressing fever. This forun helps, to know there are other guys out there with this thing we have.

[Melody A]

Lots of Whiskey and lead bullet to bite on while I ride it out...kidding. I found that even doing little things like filing and buffing my nails helps a little.

[JillSierra]

Look at fashion sites on line to see latest trends and underdress when I can.

[Tina_gm]

If someone was to see my pinterest app on my phone and not know whose phone it is, they would certainly guess it would be a woman's phone hehe. Looking at pinterest, dresses, shoes, what have you. I shave my body, grow my nails out a bit, so there is something fem about me all the time.

[Angie G]

I have it pretty easy to cope with my need to dress as me wife knows and even supports my dressing.:hugs:
Angie

[NANNETTE]

I like looking at ladies fashion websites to look at cute dresses, skirts and shoes. It makes me feel very girly. Also love looking at hosiery websites like My Tights. The evening before a dressing session I look in my hosiery drawer to plan what pair of tights with my outfit.

[MissDanielle]

Lately, I've been doing some shopping for a pink bedroom set to help bring out that inner girl.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rebecca:hugs:, I cope by dressing for three to four hrs. every Morning and a couple hrs. a couple Evenings a week...:daydreaming:...

[NitaCD]

In my younger years I use to cope by going through those large Sears, Wards, or Spegals catalogs. Now, in my older years, when quality fem time is scarce its the computer and the internet that help me cope. And of course underdressing with smooth legs and a fresh manicure/pedicure, always helps.