flatlander_48
11-22-2015, 08:42 PM
Yesterday was a Red Letter Day!?!?
This is sort of a follow-on to the thread where I talked about the events of October where I outted myself to 200+ people. In one of the entries I mentioned a few things that I'll be doing going forward. One of them was shopping as DeeAnn, but I'm getting ahead of the story.
I've been hanging out with 2 groups; one in Rochester, NY (90 minute drive from my home) and another in Geneva, NY (60 minute drive from my home). The person who organizes the Geneva group has been involved with various crossdresser/transgender groups over the years. I gather that there were a number of groups over time, but they come and go and come and go. Someone that she knew set up a group breakfast at a restaurant in Elmira, which is about 20 miles from where I live, and her schedule was clear for yesterday. As I'm close, I also got invited. I confess that I am habitually late to just about any community function (makeup time!?!?). I arrived at 20-25 minutes after the appointed time.
I arrived and parked my car. As I was walking across the parking lot, a thought came back that I had had the day before. I only know one or two people who are likely to be in attendance, but what if they didn't make it? Not that it is a huge restaurant, but the idea of standing at the front door dressed and scanning the room didn't appeal in a place where I had never been.
By the way, I was dressed appropriately Saturday casual. Off white sweater, slim turquoise jeans, some very noticable multi-color fleece sandal socks, black clogs, non-dangly earrings and a hat. I've discovered that I like hats and it's sort of cool since women don't wear them much these days. Underneath was a bra, forms and padded shapeware. I did full makeup, but no eye shadow. I have to admit that I chuckle a bit when people talk about Light Makeup as in not using much. I don't think there is any way that will ever apply to me!
Once again, my fears were not realized. I saw the two people that I expected to see and one other. COOL!! It was a group of 14-15 people, including 3 allies. WOW!! Anyway, I had a very pleasant time and was complimented a few times as to how nice I looked. The funny thing was that 2-3 people came up to me and said that they knew me. This seemed strange as they looked in No Way familiar. What they said was that they were at the SteppingOUT event last month where I was the Mistress of Ceremonies. Sort of a small world I guess.
That was the morning. I returned home and thought about the rest of the afternoon and evening. Being 3rd Saturday, this was the day of the gathering in Rochester. This is essentially a social gathering at a gay bar. It is an eclectic bunch as there are crossdressers, transgender folks and a few in the process of transitioning. I decided that I was going to essentially wear what I was already had on, but with a few additions. I did my nails and added a necklace and a wrist cuff. But, since I had little to do to get ready, I could leave early enough to do some shopping at my favorite thrift store in Rochester (SAVERS) as DeeAnn. VERY COOL!!
I have been to this SAVERS as Don a number of times. I've also been to three others in different cities. What I've noticed is that as Don I tend to give women shoppers a wide berth. The thought would be "GAWG, why is this man next to me in the size 14 skirts?!?!". I would be doing something beyond just shopping; I would be thoroughly inspecting as these are mostly used clothes and flaws are not highlighted. That would be reflected in the price, but not the specific problem. Plus, there are often mothers with teenage daughters and you never know how people are going to react.
However, the situation with DeeAnn was a bit different. I still didn't crowd anyone, but on those occasions when women were in close proximity, they were as oblivious to me as I was to them. MAS = Mutually Assured Shopping! However, I did notice a couple of boys, maybe 17 or so. As we walked toward each other, one elbowed the other and whispered in his ear. One can only guess what the topic of conversation was, but as they made no other gestures, No Harm - No Foul. All considered, it was a pretty pleasant visit.
As a shopping trip, it was pretty succesful. I concentrated on pants and skirts as I didn't want to take anything over my head and get makeup all over. Anything with a back zipper or fastening was also out as I don't have enough shoulder and elbow flexibility to handle that by myself. For just under $30 I came away with a pink fine guage sweater, a black pair of pants, a grey pair of Vanderbilt jeans and a pair of bronze silk pants!?!?
All that was something over 2 hours and I arrived at the Girls Night Out at about 8:30. Uncharacteristically, I stayed until about 1am. Usually I leave around 11:30 to midnight. I guess I must have been enjoying myself! Unfortunately, when I arrive after traveling from anywhere and by any means, I am wired. I was at home by about 2:30am, but I didn't go to bed until about 4:30am. That is NOT helpful.
So, what did I learn from Saturday's excursions? I definitely think I'm becoming more comfortable in my skin and I worry less about the reactions, real and imagined, around me. I am grateful for being welcomed by the groups that I hangout with. That requires particular mention because it is always a question mark for Black people. Also, the fact that I need to devote considerable travel time in order to participate speaks to its significance for me. Gender issues aside, dressing affords an opportunity to apply my sense of aesthetics to how I look. While I also applies to how Don looks, the opportunities are much broader for DeeAnn and I like that.
I've always said that Don and DeeAnn are just different facets of the same person. I truly believe that. But in addition, I now realize that DeeAnn has been around all along. I just needed to discover her. Since childhood I've always thought than my sensibilities were different. I could be just about as content absorbing the pages as Hot Rod Magazine as I was when pouring over the pages of lingerie and foundations in the SEARS catalogues when I was a kid. About 25 years ago I thought it was all related to sexuality, but it now seems that was much too simplistic an answer. What is happening now is that DeeAnn has some freedom to figure out what she thinks of the world. That's quite a challenge, but then again, challenges are usually good for the soul.
DeeAnn
This is sort of a follow-on to the thread where I talked about the events of October where I outted myself to 200+ people. In one of the entries I mentioned a few things that I'll be doing going forward. One of them was shopping as DeeAnn, but I'm getting ahead of the story.
I've been hanging out with 2 groups; one in Rochester, NY (90 minute drive from my home) and another in Geneva, NY (60 minute drive from my home). The person who organizes the Geneva group has been involved with various crossdresser/transgender groups over the years. I gather that there were a number of groups over time, but they come and go and come and go. Someone that she knew set up a group breakfast at a restaurant in Elmira, which is about 20 miles from where I live, and her schedule was clear for yesterday. As I'm close, I also got invited. I confess that I am habitually late to just about any community function (makeup time!?!?). I arrived at 20-25 minutes after the appointed time.
I arrived and parked my car. As I was walking across the parking lot, a thought came back that I had had the day before. I only know one or two people who are likely to be in attendance, but what if they didn't make it? Not that it is a huge restaurant, but the idea of standing at the front door dressed and scanning the room didn't appeal in a place where I had never been.
By the way, I was dressed appropriately Saturday casual. Off white sweater, slim turquoise jeans, some very noticable multi-color fleece sandal socks, black clogs, non-dangly earrings and a hat. I've discovered that I like hats and it's sort of cool since women don't wear them much these days. Underneath was a bra, forms and padded shapeware. I did full makeup, but no eye shadow. I have to admit that I chuckle a bit when people talk about Light Makeup as in not using much. I don't think there is any way that will ever apply to me!
Once again, my fears were not realized. I saw the two people that I expected to see and one other. COOL!! It was a group of 14-15 people, including 3 allies. WOW!! Anyway, I had a very pleasant time and was complimented a few times as to how nice I looked. The funny thing was that 2-3 people came up to me and said that they knew me. This seemed strange as they looked in No Way familiar. What they said was that they were at the SteppingOUT event last month where I was the Mistress of Ceremonies. Sort of a small world I guess.
That was the morning. I returned home and thought about the rest of the afternoon and evening. Being 3rd Saturday, this was the day of the gathering in Rochester. This is essentially a social gathering at a gay bar. It is an eclectic bunch as there are crossdressers, transgender folks and a few in the process of transitioning. I decided that I was going to essentially wear what I was already had on, but with a few additions. I did my nails and added a necklace and a wrist cuff. But, since I had little to do to get ready, I could leave early enough to do some shopping at my favorite thrift store in Rochester (SAVERS) as DeeAnn. VERY COOL!!
I have been to this SAVERS as Don a number of times. I've also been to three others in different cities. What I've noticed is that as Don I tend to give women shoppers a wide berth. The thought would be "GAWG, why is this man next to me in the size 14 skirts?!?!". I would be doing something beyond just shopping; I would be thoroughly inspecting as these are mostly used clothes and flaws are not highlighted. That would be reflected in the price, but not the specific problem. Plus, there are often mothers with teenage daughters and you never know how people are going to react.
However, the situation with DeeAnn was a bit different. I still didn't crowd anyone, but on those occasions when women were in close proximity, they were as oblivious to me as I was to them. MAS = Mutually Assured Shopping! However, I did notice a couple of boys, maybe 17 or so. As we walked toward each other, one elbowed the other and whispered in his ear. One can only guess what the topic of conversation was, but as they made no other gestures, No Harm - No Foul. All considered, it was a pretty pleasant visit.
As a shopping trip, it was pretty succesful. I concentrated on pants and skirts as I didn't want to take anything over my head and get makeup all over. Anything with a back zipper or fastening was also out as I don't have enough shoulder and elbow flexibility to handle that by myself. For just under $30 I came away with a pink fine guage sweater, a black pair of pants, a grey pair of Vanderbilt jeans and a pair of bronze silk pants!?!?
All that was something over 2 hours and I arrived at the Girls Night Out at about 8:30. Uncharacteristically, I stayed until about 1am. Usually I leave around 11:30 to midnight. I guess I must have been enjoying myself! Unfortunately, when I arrive after traveling from anywhere and by any means, I am wired. I was at home by about 2:30am, but I didn't go to bed until about 4:30am. That is NOT helpful.
So, what did I learn from Saturday's excursions? I definitely think I'm becoming more comfortable in my skin and I worry less about the reactions, real and imagined, around me. I am grateful for being welcomed by the groups that I hangout with. That requires particular mention because it is always a question mark for Black people. Also, the fact that I need to devote considerable travel time in order to participate speaks to its significance for me. Gender issues aside, dressing affords an opportunity to apply my sense of aesthetics to how I look. While I also applies to how Don looks, the opportunities are much broader for DeeAnn and I like that.
I've always said that Don and DeeAnn are just different facets of the same person. I truly believe that. But in addition, I now realize that DeeAnn has been around all along. I just needed to discover her. Since childhood I've always thought than my sensibilities were different. I could be just about as content absorbing the pages as Hot Rod Magazine as I was when pouring over the pages of lingerie and foundations in the SEARS catalogues when I was a kid. About 25 years ago I thought it was all related to sexuality, but it now seems that was much too simplistic an answer. What is happening now is that DeeAnn has some freedom to figure out what she thinks of the world. That's quite a challenge, but then again, challenges are usually good for the soul.
DeeAnn