Dual personalities getting trashed

[Rachelakld]

A newbe here explained they feel like two people.

The response from all the single personalities was amazing - but not in a good way
Kind of like "don't be stupid, your only one person" "go see a therapist" " Get fixed"

Reminded me of all those people who thought the universe revolved around the planet Earth or that gravity doesn't exist because you can't touch it.

I do agree you can't hold a pint of gravity in your hand and
I agree, we "multiples" have only one physical body.

It doesn't mean we need "fixing" and the way I see it, us "multiples" once we find balance, have more advantages.

So when someone says "dual spirited" or two people, please just listen and while your point of view is good for you, we are not all the same as you.

[Tracii G]

I like the option of having two if I need it.

[cdterri]

Almost everyone who knows me says I have three, male me, female me and half and half me. I only see and know one ME

[Helen Waite]

In the immortal words of Popeye, "A yam what I yam". We are who we are, no matter the exterior.

[Teresa]

Rachel,
I asked my counsellor to explain the long term dreams I was having from the age of 8 , she explained by saying the female side of my brain was trying to take control. My CDing started partly because I was playing out the dreams, as I've said before I knew nothing of sex or masturbation and yet my brain was putting me through this at such a young age.
To me there are two people inside and it takes a long time to accept this and try and make them work together. It's one of the reasons why I find it hard to accept some people passing CDing off as a hobby. I posted a thread along these lines some time ago as I did one that said " It's more than CDing !" My wife now accepts that I'm part woman and even the label male lesbian , after I'd explained how my CDing started .

[Tracii G]

Once I accepted that my female side has been there from a very early age it all made sense.
I'm both and there is not much I can do about it other than deal with it.

[MissDanielle]

I've accepted my femme side and to be honest, I don't mind that it's growing stronger every day.

[Cheryl T]

As I tell everyone...
I used to be Schizophrenic, but We're ok now...

[Lexi Moralas]

I am definitely a "multi"
Lexi is one person , my male persona another , like 2 people sharing a car.
Lol
I like it that way it keeps everything nice and tidy. And separate just the way I like it. Ever since the SO found out a few years ago it kinda pushes the worlds together and I hate that. I take Lexi out when I want to and put her away when I want to. We only share 1 friend and I can't be Lexi in full around that person.
Yeah 2 seperate people works for me

[AnnaMarie]

I'm only one person. When I'm in man mode I still want to wear female clothes. When I'm in girl mode - just the same. It's no different for me, I don't think differently depending on how I dress. It probably means I'm more of a girl though!

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm wondering if I'm on a fools errand in trying to find a way to unite the male and female aspects I feel. It's been frustrating having to compartmentalize the two based on how I appear at any one time. I'm sure there isn't a logical reason I can't behave and react the same regardless of what I'm wearing, but I do. Those who know both versions of me agree there are differences and I honestly don't intentionally try to do anything differently, it just happens. So, my choice is integrate or accept and I'm still attempting to integrate, it just seems simpler in the long run, even though it's a struggle for now.

[MissDanielle]

I'm with AnnaMarie on this. As I type, I feel way more girl than boy.

[Tina_gm]

Can't say that I have a true dual personality. But I definitely feel I am dual gendered. There are times when either male or female is the driving force. There are times where both seem to be fighting for control. Sometimes it can be a weird but good feeling, other times very irritating and frustrating. Now, as a guy, and feeling more as such, not irritating at all. As a guy but not feeling as such, depending on the circumstance, it can be very frustrating to say the least. Most of us CDers have experienced this somewhat, somehow.

I do not have any real control over how I am going to feel gender wise at any given time. There are surrounding situations that do influence it a bit. Where I am, the company I am in etc etc. When I am with my kids, I rarely feel strongly feminine. I guess it is just the father in me and it influences me to just focus on being their father. If I am in a store that is more fem based or targeted, I am more likely to feel fem, but not always. Vice versa when it comes to more male targeted stores.

I do not have a separate name, or do my interests in anything change. No change of taste in music etc etc. At times though, I can see how a different persona could be a good thing. Separating the two gender sides... It could make it a bit easier. My wife says typically she can detect the difference when I seem to be more male or female oriented gender wise. I do become a bit easier going, more mellow. My mannerisms seem to kick in more. Although, they do not completely disappear if I seem to be in more of a masculine frame of being. And vice versa. I trend more fem, or more masculine. I do find that I am at most irritated when I seem to float between the two. Not always, but I sort of can feel lost?

[flatlander_48]

I think this is of those deals where there is no right answer. We've seen that there is a lot of variance in how we feel regarding gender, what it does to us, how it plays out, how often, etc. To me, this seems entirely appropriate given the many ways in which we grow up, our home situations, our experiences growing up, etc. There are just too many variables to say that this is an A, B, C cookbookish kind of situation.

What seems to work for me is the viewpoint that my one personality manifests itself in slightly different ways depending upon how I am presenting. It doesn't feel like DeeAnn is a different person from Don. I think I would feel uncomfortable if it seemed different for me, but that has no bearing on how it might feel for someone else. The thing is, everyone must find their own road to town...

DeeAnn

[JessieA]

I'm more like 2 sides of the same coin. The sides are different but they share the same core. But due to Klinefelter's I seem to have a fully developed male and female side to my brain and in fact finally accepting and letting my female side develop has eliminated the minor dissociative and depressive episodes I would sometimes have during times of stress.

[NicoleScott]

I wouldn't challenge someone who claims two personalities. Nor do I challenge someone who says professional wrestling is real or has seen bigfoot.

There is a small brewery in Arkansas by the name of Gravity Brew Works, so you CAN hold a pint of gravity in your hand.

[xNicolex]

I think that when you do find a balance between your male and female sides you become more whole as a person and that it breaks you free of the mold that you are cast in. Being born a boy with a strong female side may not mean you ate your twin sister in the whom :heehee: genetically everyone is a female as a fetus and stays that way for 6-8 weeks this is why we have nipples they are our only female attributes we inherit genetically until the Y chromosome starts to develop male characteristics. I have given quite alot of thought to this idea that maybe I have more female than male chromosomes but I'm not a scientist lol I may start a topic about this idea.

[Tracii G]

I'm surprised the negative Nannies haven't jumped all over this thread.

[ReineD]

I think it boils down to how a person copes with a need to crossdress.

If they can easily accept they are men who enjoy feeling feminine (or they are gender fluid), they'll tend to say they are always the same person, no matter how dressed. But if they cannot accept that it's OK for a guy to crossdress, then it might be easier to explain it as two different sides of a coin. It's a way to distance the desire to be feminine from their male selves.

:2c:

[Ally 2112]

I am just me ,took years to accept that i am 1 personality that can live 2 different lives .It is not perfect nor am i at the moment it works

[Rachelakld]

Me to Tracii,
They certainly jumped over the newbe in another tread the other day, trying to "fix" the person who was expressing duality.

[Eryn]

A newbe here explained they feel like two people.

The response from all the single personalities was amazing - but not in a good way...

What thread was that? I'd like to give the newbie some support. Please give a link.

[Krisi]

I would like to know how strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig can change a person's personality or likes and dislikes. As Helen posted, "We are who we are, no matter the exterior."

[Stephanie47]

I wish you had posted a link to that thread. I've been here for a while and have espoused that feeling. I just wonder what the nay-sayers feel like when they slip into a bra, panty, girdle, panties, hosiery, heels, dress, makeup and a wig. Do they feel as if they are a woman? Do they feel exactly the same as the man they are before donning the female attire? I know there a few men who just feel more comfortable wearing women's attire..or so they say. Is that a defensive reason to explain an aberration to societal norms.

There is a reason I like to wear women's attire. Sometimes on this site I have stated what wearing women's attire does for me..how it makes me feel as opposed to when I am wearing my male clothes. Maybe I'm escaping from some demon. Just because YOU feel you're nothing more than a man in a dress does not mean some of us do not feel we are more. If you feel you're nothing more than a guy in a dress, please do not wear a bra unless you have man boobs.

And, I'll throw a clinker in here too. My wife believes there are some among us who may be showing the effect of "past lives." I threw that concept out many months ago and there were some who jumped on that like a buzzard on carrion. That seemed just as good an excuse as any other I've heard.

[AngelaYVR]

I think it's just a matter of semantics. Yes, when I get dressed I feel different but in the same way that standing on a hill and surveying beautiful scenery below brings elation. A clinical split personality is a completely different animal than what most here describe. I thinks it's just allowing repressed emotions to be free that can make you think that it is something distinct and separated from your 'regular' life.

[Meghan4now]

Is this the thread?
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?234004-never-knowing-who-I-truly-am

I didn't get a feeling of trashing the OP, but that's just me. As far as two spirit goes, depends on how you define it. Is it a situation where the personalities are so different and pronounced that they are conflicting with one another, or causing harm to personal relationships, work situation ect.? Or is it more of a flavor of expression of one's self, induced by certain activities, much like allowing music or film to put you in the mood?

If you are talking about serious issues like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, or cognative dissonance, well then suggesting a therapist is probably a good idea. If your talking about two souls cohabitating one body, maybe they need an exorcist!

[sarah378619]

Bigenger is real. I can attest to that. My female side is dominant and strong but it coexists with my male feelings and ID. Together we are one and the whole is more than either ID alone. I have very strong female drive and ID. I have always felt like a girl. I would be a tomgirl is society was more enlightened and open. But there is a reality to duality and gender fluidity. So never let
anyone else define you. Be you.
Sarah

[Lauri K]

I have accepted my female side, after all these years she finally won the long battle and got out of the bottle and now I am more at peace with who I am, but even so, I realize that there are many struggles ahead of me as I do not have all the answers.

I find just being myself is just best for eveyone involved no matter what I wear or how I present.

[Deedee Skyblue]

I have a very good friend who was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder over 25 years ago (it was called Multiple Personality Disorder back then). This statement:

"We are who we are, no matter the exterior."

is very limited. My friend is definitely a "we", her alters are extremely different, and there is no sense of "we are who we are", but rather 'the body stays the same but the person inside it changes'. It is kind of like a multi-boot computer where the same hardware is used to run DOS, Linux, Windows, Mac OS, Android and iOS at different times. There is very little relationship between some of the operating systems except for the hardware they share, while others are pretty similar.

She's been my friend (many of her have been my friend, some not so much) for over 20 years. She is not a fraud; she is not acting and she wasn't convinced by her therapist that she has an imaginary condition.

I am the same person as 'him' or Deedee. I really like the term gurl, because it is a lot like me. First came the guy, then came the girl, and they are always together, always one, in roughly equal proportions. My friend(s) do not think of themselves as another aspect of her personality, they believe they are separate people.

DID is real, and it is virtually always born in trauma that the victim is unable to escape, and it is not something you can escape if you have it. It is on the far end of a spectrum of dissociative behaviors, and in my opinion, my dressing is also on that spectrum, though pretty far away from the DID end. I will always accept if someone tells me there are multiple personas housed in that person's single body - real acceptance which is very different from accepting someone who says that the moon is made of cheese, which is just a way of humoring that person.

Gosh and wowee, I didn't mean to say that much, but to me this is really an important topic, and an important aspect of why I believe we are all here. We are looking for acceptance and to me, that means giving the same acceptance I want to the rest of us. It hurts when somebody who is here, and clearly is looking for acceptance, makes fun of, or trashes, or tries to fix, someone else who is here for the same reason. It hurt me the first time, and I'll never forget it. How can someone expect something from me when that someone isn't willing to give that same thing back in return?

Sorry, I ramble. I wish you all a happy end of November weekend, and if you are celebrating a holiday during this time, happy holiday!

253789

[Lorileah]

having been associated with a "multiple" I think what get's posted on these boards are more "I FEEL LIKE" instead of I am. Cognitively many "multiples" don't know about the "others" and frequently the other personality (ties) come out without warning and aren't controlled. That said, I was two different people in feeling.

[Jazzy Jaz]

In my belief and understanding of things I feel that I have one spirit which is a mix of both male and female energy, hence me being bi/dual gendered or androgynous. I feel that my consciousness IS my spirit and to have more than one spirit would be to have more than one consciousness. I think the modern First Nations term two spirited which has its roots from certain Native Nations didn't mean litterally two spirits but rather described the mix of both male and female within ones self or the complete opposite gender of ones body. With this said I totally respect other peoples views and interpretations for the most part and I respect an individuals right to describe and understand themselves how they wish.

Just to clarify, I do believe it is possible to have more than one spirit in a body such as some of the people with disassociative identity disorder as described below, particularly when there is more than one consciousness inhabiting a body.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rachel, :hugs:, I just enjoy having the best of both worlds. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[maggiepat]

The "boy" and I are Siamese twins, joined at the soul. I respect him and he gives me space and the money to buy clothes, and shoes, and wigs and makeup and unties and hose and...

[Tracii G]

Knowing you have two spirits and having both work in harmony is very different than having a split personality where one does something and the other doesn't know it.
I think people confuse spirit and personalities.

[Rachelakld]

I would like to know how strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig can change a person's personality or likes and dislikes. As Helen posted, "We are who we are, no matter the exterior."

This is along the lines as an example, single personalities like to slip on a wig and pair of boobs and becomes "themselves".

A dual lives as both, regardless of the clothing, where switching can happen at any instant regardless of clothing.
An example, during an armed bank robber, the single will probably lie on the floor and be a good girl, while the dual may switch in to "hero male" mode or being the compliant female. After the robbery, with one person injured, the dual may switch again to caring female along with the single soul female person.

So for Krisi and all the other singles to be enlightened.......
Dual means we can swap personalities, likes, dislikes, etc, instantly, regardless as to how we dress (hopefully the wardrobe is close so we can adjust our clothes).
It also means we often have a second opinion like as a Dad, we dislike our daughters new boyfriend, the female side of us will tell us to chill out.

I'm kinda blessed with a third, when he plays, others get hurt, and I can't control him and I have lots of trouble putting him back in the cage, but number 2 is cute, pretty and caring.
For me, all 3 are in the bus, but I chose who gets the drivers seat (under normal situations)

Shrinks call them Sub-personalities and a psychic I meet calls it a split soul (not dual).

[Jazzy Jaz]

Respectfully and curiously I ask who's "I"?

[Eryn]

Is this the thread?
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?234004-never-knowing-who-I-truly-am

I didn't get a feeling of trashing the OP, but that's just me...

No, it's not you. The OP wasn't trashed at all, and in fact has responded with thanks for those who offered their thoughts.

That is, if this is the thread in question. My question about that was ignored.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Rachel, you are - or you certainly appear to be - a happy, confident person who has successfully assimilated your two sides into a functioning whole. This is a cause for celebration.

The OP in the post I imagine you are referring to is very far from your happy state, was seeking advice, and struck me as being in considerable need of help. To advise a person in those circumstances to try to move towards a place of 'wholeness' rather than encouraging them into further personality disintegration seems wise.

[Rachelakld]

These comments took me by surprised, when the OP just wanted someone to listen

"I think it's important to remember that you are not two people, but one, to become more of a whole person than a person of two opposing parts. It's a better long term strategy" -SAYS WHO?
"However you are truly only one person trying to make sense of these feelings" -PROVE IT
"I can only reiterate, you are not two people" - PROVE IT
"I would also suggest finding a good gender therapist" - WHY
"I don't think that we have different personalities. I think we have one personality" - NOT SO BAD, the word "I THINK" is good

I figured, since these people are single personalities, then it's correct IN THEIR WORLD,
however I do not believe trying to convince a dual that they are single and their feeling of dual is incorrect or any way less valid is helpful, even if the OP enjoyed the discussion.

For me, I felt the OP was expressing themselves, rather than asking for help, advice or a fix.

Please remember - single personalities is not the "ONLY" possible combination

As for "further personality disintegration" - lets rename it - "ignoring your feelings"

[Marcelle]

Rachel,

What you read and what others read in the OPs post are different things. You view/perception of what the OP was asking is not necessarily the correct view anymore than mine was. That is the purpose of this forum, a person throws out a question and they seek advice. Multiple people interpret and provided advice based on their experiences. Where you read "two spirited" I read "struggling" with identity. Nobody trashed the OP as that would imply denigrating the individual. Nobody said the OP was broken they merely recommended seeing a gender identity therapist if their is emotional turmoil which is sound advice. If the OP doesn't need he/she will disregard that is the nature of advice. You may be in a great place with the whole "two spirit" aspect of life but that is you and perhaps the OP is not there yet.

Cheers

Marcelle

[mechamoose]

'All Male' and 'All Female' are the 'poles' of personality. I believe there is plenty of room in the middle.

But I think that about sexuality as well, so there is that.

I'm have both, I feel both, I *am* both..

<3

- MM

[pamela7]

most of us, i expect, have been asked "got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning", or told "you're not yourself today".

every human being is a personal collective, operating mostly under the psychosis of "the individual", it's not binary, its not unitary.

in the last months/weeks, seems the genderfluid has come more out into this closet, and perhaps that worries someone with more fixed programming. overall on this forum i see more acceptance of diversity than the perceived intolerance of the wider world.

[stacifox13]

Jamie hear reading all your reply's. I not hiding female side wont let me.

[Beverley Sims]

When I was younger, I was two separate people.

Some only knew Beverley and others I associated with knew the guy.

Occasionally the company would mix and concentration was needed to remember I did not know some of my friends.

A strange situation but always interesting.

[Meghan4now]

When you were young? I was multiple when I was Two. 《Rimshot, crash》 Thank you thank you, I'll be here all night. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

[Wendy me]

yes to two of us in here .... need to be fixed?/ we did that grew our hair down to our butt... and grew boobs ....

[Rachelakld]

Marcelle
I see what you mean about different people reading different things.

I still can not find a question mark
I still can not see words "need advise" or "please help"
or anything here the op wanted our opinion

I did see "sometimes I feel......." which to any true female, is not a request to be fix, call for help or advise, it's more "please listen, this is how I feel" statement and a call for an empathetic listener. (female 101 course)

So again, us Dual/Multi don't always want fixing any more than you want the magic pill

Sorry Jamie..... I just want the single souls out there to know, their perception is NOT the "ONLY REAL WAY".

As a footnote:
my ex is telling my 12 yr old daughter I'll go to hell if I don't change my belief, so I don't take lightly when people try to "convert" me or others to THEIR belief system.

[Eryn]

Once again, respectfully, Rachel, to what thread are you referring? Please give a thread title or a link.

[Lorileah]

Threads would be very short around here if only OPs who specifically asked using a question mark allowed responses. So let's quit fighting over this. The OP posted, civil responses are allowed. Opinions are allowed and they are just that opinions. If we had the answers we wouldn't need this forum, yes? This thread has come down to semantics and interpretations. Discuss all you want but quit throwing rocks...get it? got it? good

[Rachelakld]

You had the right thread,
and I'm fed up with this idea that everyone must be a single person, and if your not single, your just thinking crazy and "we" singles need to help fix you attitude.
Singles, even think in this thread "put on a wig and change personality?" - which show total lack of understanding of how dual/multiple works.

I think I've read to much about "how everyone is just one person" BS over the years, and this thousandth one just peeved me off as wisdom from the uneducated.

Bored now, maybe it'll peeve me off again after another 1000 singles point out you can't be dual, and I'll bite and tell you singles to check your subscription to "The Flat Earth Society"

So AGAIN please stop trying to screw a dual/multi head by telling them "their wrong to think like that"

Off to talk to the open minded - Bye

[pamela7]

yes Rachel, except some of us ARE interested in multiples and the different forms this takes. Computer systems are even built modelled on this.

Time-Division Multiplexed => one aspect/personality at a time runs the show, they may or may not know about the other aspects/personalities/programs
Muilti-threaded - a collective of parallel aspects all interacting simultaneously, seriously its chaos in here ...
SISD to SIMD / MISD to MIMD (single instruction single data up to multiple instructions on multiple data / personalities)

because it's so chaotic if i turn up the volume for the personal collective i tend to keep it off, it would be more civilised if only a few wanted to talk at once.
hell, every sentence or paragraph there is a multiple of "i's" "you's" and me's, all different aspects communicating from different ages of my life, past lives, future lives, other people, ancestors and non-human beings ...its a zoo in here.

xxx

[Krisi]

So for Krisi and all the other singles to be enlightened.......

Perhaps it is I who should enlighten you. When you post an opinion on a web forum, not everyone is going to agree with your point of view. Continuing to post it won't change anyone's mind and you're not going to "enlighten" people, you just make them mad.

If you can point to some genuine scientific studies that prove that changing one's clothing changes their personality, I would certainly be willing to read them but I have my doubts. If you have some sort of personality disorder that causes you to change clothes, that's a possible explanation.

From my experience, strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig doesn't change my sexual preference, political viewpoint or favorite type of music. And my opinions posted here do not change because of the presence or absence of boobs.

Show me the scientific proof.

[sometimes_miss]

I would like to know how strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig can change a person's personality or likes and dislikes.
It won't. What changes, is that person's willingness to admit to those likes or dislikes. The best example is those who profess to be completely straight, yet admit that when they are dressed as women they find men sexually attractive or even have the desire to have sex with men. Then they refer to themselves in third person as if it's a completely different person altogether.
It's a way of protecting themselves from having to face that they aren't actually straight. Remember that pretty much every one of us grew up in an environment where we were constantly reminded that for a little boy to be anything like a girl in any way was the worst possible thing on earth, as well as some religions telling us that we would face eternal damnation if we ever behaved or even thought things that a girl would. Grow up with that for 20 or more years and there's absolutely no doubt that these people can't face being feminine. It's simply not allowed in their world. So they have to assign it to a different person or personality in order to remain functional, either that, or admit that they are that 'worst thing that they could ever be'. Then also face the responsibility for not being 'man enough' to hold back those bad, terrible desires and thoughts, so he'd be a failure in two ways already. Lots of people simply can't deal with that.
And yet, we try to get them to see, and accept, who they really are. But it's hard; sure, here online in a supportive forum, it's easy to face that we're not the macho male 100% of the time. In real life, it's another story completely. ANY sign of weakness in physical strength or character admitted to another man is simply not done. EVER. It goes against everything we are taught when we're growing up.
All we can hope for, is that each will eventually be able to face who and what they really are. The number of true multiple personality disorder patients is very miniscule; And expecially with how it's usually referred to here it's painfully obvious that isn't what we're seeing. It's not multiple personalities, no 'two different sides of one personality'. But it takes quite a bit of strength of will to accept that, and not everyone can. And, there's nothing wrong with that. Every person is different, and every persons situation is different. We all have different capacities to deal with adverse things in our lives, and we do the best we can. That's all we can expect anyone to do.
So do whatever it takes to get you through the day. Know deep down inside that whatever it is, is ok. At least, as far as those here are concerned. We understand what you're going through.

[ashleyjane15]

This is going to be tough to explain so bear with me. I have two people inside me. In the beginning, the male side of my was more prominent. Later on, the female side started coming to the forefront of my consciousness. Then I started to dress more often. Now she is more prominent. I think I am slowly becoming her. The more I dress, the more I prefer being a woman. What does that make me?

[Rachelakld]

Hi Ashleyjane,
my take is you can define yourself however you want.
I'm quite similar, and since my male self doesn't like dressing up and my female self does, I personally consider that dual.
Had both the male me and female me both liked stuff like dressing up, and had other things in common (body excluded of course), then I would consider it a single personality.

[MissDanielle]

Hi Ashley and Rachel, I accepted my femme side earlier this month and while I haven't had the opportunity to be dressed since middle or high school, I made my first purchases this past weekend and even more tonight. Aside from the body issues, male and femme sides have just about everything in common. If I go to a store in drab, I get want I want and leave. But my femme side? I'd probably stay for hours...

My femme side is growing stronger every day and I think it will reach the point in which I do start HRT after I move out of my parents' house in June (they are very much in denial). I'm signing all my emails as Danielle to those friends I am currently out with and if I filled out surveys online, etc., I would ID myself as female or trans if there is an option.

[ReineD]

since my male self doesn't like dressing up and my female self does, I personally consider that dual.

I should think that unless a CDer is severely repressed, then he would have moments when he wouldn't feel like dressing, and other moments when he (or if you prefer, she) would. If he is severely repressed (if he hardly ever gets a chance to dress, for example a younger person still living with parents, or a CDer with an intolerant wife, then it makes sense he'd be thinking about it in guy mode a whole lot more than someone who knows he can dress anytime he wants to.

But it's like anything else, really. Some people can accomplish inner balance better than others and this is true, not just with the CDing, but any other pleasurable activity. For example some people can eat moderately while others overeat, they continue eating after they're full. Same with alcohol, computer games, internet use, gambling, sex, etc.

In any case, my SO is like you. The desire to dress is not present constantly. There were periods in his life when she felt like dressing a lot more, and others when it took a back seat (once every few months or so). My SO has at times identified as gender fluid, dualgender, bigender, and transgender, depending on whether it was on his mind a lot or hardly ever.

Good luck with continuing to figure it out! :)