Passing not important???

[SallySC]

Hello...I haven't posted much here but I really do love this site! My question is how important is it you be passable?

I have come to realize I don't want to look like a man dressed as a woman...I want to be a feminine guy. I love being feminine and actually like people seeing me that way. There's a difference...

I usually wear skinny girl tight (stretch) jeans, open back 3 inch heel clogs, a nice button down colar pink shirt, short french manicure nails (my nails are my favorite part of dressing), very light makeup, clear mascara for thicker looking lashes, A very small amount of rouge and a little clear lip gloss. With this look I feel so feminine and relaxed and I haven't had any negative comments. I actually have had many compliments on the whole look. I love this look and I was wondering if any one else does something similar?

Thanks...take care.

[xNicolex]

Hi sally I'm new here just like you and I posted a similar question called ''Do I look passable'' and the thing is I learned that as long as you feel comfortable in your own skin and feel sexy then being passable doesn't really come into it at all. I'll just echo what the girls on here told me and thats except yourself and be confident when out, as well as present yourself appropriately for the venue you intend to visit :)

[flatlander_48]

SSC:

I've never tried what you mentioned. Light makeup would never work for me; there isn't much point.

Regarding being passable, for some it is a high priority. Others, not so much. There's no set way of going about this. Everyone does what they feel is appropriate in terms of how far to push the envelope. There isn't a right answer.

DeeAnn

[IamWren]

I cruise YouTube makeup tutorials often trying to learn tips and tricks and about three weeks ago or so I stumbled over what I thought was a 'dead' trend of the metrosexual that was pretty popular in the states about a decade or so ago. Do y'all remember that?

Anyway, except for the three inch heel clogs it sounds as though you were presenting very much the way the metrosexual men do. In the couple of videos I watched the guys were good lookin' fellas who dressed very nicely and used makeup to enhance their looks.

By the way... I've never heard of clear mascara. I might need to fine me some of that.

Hugs,
Sayyidah 'Sue'

[Robin414]

I agree Sally, I dread to look like a guy pretending to be a chic. I posted a thread a while ago about 'crossing the line', I rock the skinny jeans, femme jacket, light makeup as a 'guy' but when I'm carrying a purse, I guess that's crossing the line for me and I'm a full on woman and passing is important at that point.

[Rachelakld]

If I'm going to a classy restaurant, I would like to try to pass
If I go to the mall with my friends, I like to try to pass.
When I go swimming, I don't pass and don't care, other swimmers have been nice to me :)
If I'm in a hurry to do the weeks groceries, I forgo make up (home from 9 hrs work, blue beard - skinny jeans, shear top, pretty bra, sometimes a wig/sometimes not, then I'm there).

So for me, passing depends on my mood, time available, where I intend to go, and who is with me

[mechamoose]

I go for classy & tasteful as I will never pass. I'm built like a truck.

I freely mix male & female clothing. I do all girl jeans, sandals/wedges, layered tops, little makeup (mascara, maybe some shadow, nails)

It makes me feel comfortable, more like ME. I don't care what others think, I'm not doing it for their benefit anyway.

<3

- MM

[docrobbysherry]

Passing is NOT important. As long as u don't mind going out and being seen as a man in a dress!:brolleyes:

I DO mind. Which is why I go out often, but only to Tgirl events and the vanilla venues that involve them. I don't enjoy the stares, comments, titters, and the overly polite SA's and servers that r trying to be politically correct. "Can I help u ss ---uh------mam?":sad:

Passing is the Gold Standard for dressers. When people actually mistake u for a female? They treat u completely different! That may be good or bad. But, it's definitely NOT the same as being a man in a dress!:straightface:

[Tracii G]

If I go out in 100% girl mode I do my best to pass.
Make up,wig,accessories etc.

[gokatiegirl]

People see you as you see yourself. It's all about confidence and no, it doesn't matter.

[Rachel Morley]

I have come to realize I don't want to look like a man dressed as a woman...I want to be a feminine guy. ..... I love this look and I was wondering if any one else does something similar?

I think quite a few of the members here do this kind of presentation. I know I do, although my "girly-boy mode" isn't quite as girly as perhaps yours is. I typically wear girls skinny jeans, flat shoes (Keds or Saltwater sandals) with painted toenails. I wear women's fitted tees with a colorful girls' hoodie, and a baseball cap and earrings. I have long-ish shaped fingernails but I don't always paint them. Passing is not at all important to me in "giry-boy mode" (although I have gotten mamm'd a few times dressed like this) that said, if I'm presenting fully with a wig, forms, makeup, a dress and heels, then passing is something I would prefer .... but then again, I have no control over that! No mater how I'm dressed, as long as people don't give me a hard time about it, I'm ok with whatever they want to think about me.

[Beverley Sims]

For me it is all about disguise.
I wish to look like a woman and experience the feeling.
Passing is important, if I fail, I smarten up my act.

[Eryn]

Passing is important if you wish to interact well with our existing society.

However, worrying about passing is counterproductive. Do your best, but if you fluff something don't dwell on it. This is a learning experience and you're going to go through an awkward adolescence just like anyone.

[Angela Marie]

Passing is important to me since i like to try to blend in as a woman. I noticed many posters have opted to wear feminine clothes without all the other add ons (wig, makeup, etc.) I think that is a pretty cool idea. I recently took my first steps in this regard wearing my tights/leggings with a sweatshirt out. It felt comfortable and I did enjoy it. I may go further in the future. As far as I am concerned either one expresses our feminine identity.

[Krisi]

Passing is important to me. I don't want to draw attention to myself and I don't want to be seen as a freak. When I leave the house, I am 100% male or as close to 100% female as possible.

[Lacy PJs]

Given that I could never pass, it isn't an issue at all... I confine my dressing to the home front.

Lacy PJs

[alwayshave]

I try to pass, but at 6'2" 240lb (trying to loose), I don't pass unless its dark and I'm about 50 feet away. But I'd love to pass and try my best.

[jeanine38]

I have come to realize I don't want to look like a man dressed as a woman...I want to be a feminine guy. I love being feminine and actually like people seeing me that way. There's a difference...


Yes! This thread captures my approach as well. I don't want to pass. I tried it once, it didn't work. There is too much work I have to do and I'm not willing to do it. Frankly this is about wearing clothes that society sees as being for women, and doing that makes me happy. I won't be out in dresses and heels, however most days everything I am wearing is labeled as "womens". I'm not "dolled up", don't wear forms, and don't have spiked heels and lace everything. Instead for me this means jeans, a plain top, plain flats, a bra/panties, and a purse. I'm happy.

[Sky]

I've had professional makeup, dressed to the nines, carefully presented, and yet I've been read by women once they locked eyes with me (they just know)

And I've been out with awful makeup, bad choice of clothes, looking like a terrible mess, and people didn't notice a thing (usually men)

It's not just what we do, it's the others too.

[Cheryl T]

I've stopped deluding myself that I'm "Passable" (at least completely to all).
My goal is to present the best feminine me that I can and hope that I am accepted for who I am.

[Donnagirl]

I find 'passing' really important. I want, I desire, I need to interact with the world as a woman and not some bloke in a dress. Whilst I can understand that there are those who don't see it as so important for me it is essential. I have done everything possible over most of 2015 to assist.

Although I'm 5'11" losing 60+ lbs (220 to 160) has really helped. I exercise a lot to reduce fat but careful to also reduce muscle mass. Diet, mostly less cards and portion control is essential. HRT is yet to make a really significant difference except I have well defined B cup.

I have spent many many hours observing and copying mannerisms and gestures, working on trying to sound and talk more feminine. I have worked on make up skills, especially shading and feminising my features. Choosing the right outfit to fit the environment is also very important.

But, by far the most essential thing is confidence, I know it has been said over and over but everything else is worthless unless you just act like it's just the most normal thing. Be yourself and it all just falls into place. But beware, it's such a wonderful, liberating experience, for me I can never go back to boy. It would just feel wrong...

[Kate Simmons]

Since I'm doing it for myself and no one else, I don't really need to be passable. Mostly when I dress I go to the club to socialize and dance en femme. I really don't care if others know I'm not a woman or not. :)

[CynthiaD]

Attitude is more important than your appearance. It's also hard to master. Walk boldly. Look others in the eye and smile. Act like you have a perfect right to be where You are. Act like you have nothing to hide, and you expect to be treated with respect. That's 90% of the battle. The rest is icing on the cake.

[heatherdress]

Hello...I haven't posted much here but I really do love this site! My question is how important is it you be passable?

I have come to realize I don't want to look like a man dressed as a woman...I want to be a feminine guy. I love being feminine and actually like people seeing me that way. There's a difference...

I usually wear skinny girl tight (stretch) jeans, open back 3 inch heel clogs, a nice button down colar pink shirt, short french manicure nails (my nails are my favorite part of dressing), very light makeup, clear mascara for thicker looking lashes, A very small amount of rouge and a little clear lip gloss. With this look I feel so feminine and relaxed and I haven't had any negative comments. I actually have had many compliments on the whole look. I love this look and I was wondering if any one else does something similar?

Thanks...take care.

Sally - I don't think most people would see any difference between a "man dressed like a women" (which you don't want to be) and man viewed as a "feminine guy" with 3 inch heels, nails, and women's clothing. You would seem to be an obvious crossdresser ("man dressed like a woman") who is not trying to pass. That is quite OK, by the way, and I am glad that you feel feminine and relaxed. I have worn some female clothing and shoes but I have done so in a subtle way and would probably not be detected or viewed as an obvious "feminine guy" or crossdresser.

[jenniferinsf]

sounds like a wonderful look....congratulations

[Jamie Christopher]

Like others, when I leave the house em femme I try to blend in as much as possible, and a fun attitude with a smile has a lot to do with it!

Jamie

[Dana44]

My SO says that I pass when I thought I don't. But today when walking outside with my SO and stopped to talk to a neighbor. When we left the neighbor said good night ladys. LOL I was dressed in male clothes and had a baseball cap on. My hair was down though and looking in a mirror, I did look pretty fem. So sometimes I think I pass pretty well. I think that attitude and a big smile is also very important as GG's always do that.

[Tami Joy]

just be yourself don't worry about what others think if you pass then you do if you don't then you don't be yourself

[Adriana Moretti]

I wish I could say I dont care about passing...but I do...even though we all know that we will never pass fully all the time, someones gunna read it somewhere. I perfer to make it a goal that if I am read peoples reaction is " Cool...he is not hurting anyone, offending anyone, or does not look like a complete idiot" I just try not to explode in pink fairy dust if its the vanilla world. No mater what the occasion, I will dress occordinly and not try to draw too much attention...and from what I have witnessed being out in public in Vanilla world is its always the cd girl with the thigh highs visably showing, the heels too high, and the sequin dress too tight that draw all the eyes and attention, cat calls, and sadly...the trouble...but if you go out like that I guess you are asking for it. I perfer to have people be like "Eh...whatever...thats cool"

[Patty Phose]

Of course passing is important. If you dress to get noticed, you will get noticed. Of course at a private affair that can be good and fun. Out in public it can garner unwanted attention and possibly trouble. I know you Adrianna. You are definitely passable at the very least. You also have a unique look. If I didn't know you and saw you somewhere, I would notice you but not in an outing sort of way. I would never think you are not what you appear to be. You just have a unique look.