Kandi Robbins
12-01-2015, 04:59 PM
It was one year ago tomorrow that I finally summoned the courage to tell my wife that I was a crossdresser. Soon thereafter, Kandi was born and I started a remarkable year, simply the happiest in my life!
I have done so many things, now going out in public as Kandi at least twice a week. I have (all of this since February)acquired the necessary things to present myself (wigs, makeup, lingerie, a wardrobe); had numerous makeovers; done a few photo sessions; visited Erie, Cincinnati, Detroit and Philadelphia; checked into a hotel en femme; been the subject of the amazing Amanda Richards; had five bridal fittings; taken Beauty Classes with many GGs, being accepted as one of them; found myself a weekly volunteer job dressed completely en femme (where they value my contribution); gotten a *#$@!* speeding ticket en femme; made too many girlfriends to count; become a thrift store queen (I own, in less than a year, almost 40 dresses, purchased at an estimated average price of about $4); established real meaningful relationships with sales associates at many women’s clothing stores (always starting each visit with a big hug); walked around too many dress stores to count while trying on many different dresses, engaging with other customers; tried on a $1,300 dress at Nordstrom’s (no, I didn’t buy it!); met a few girls from the forum here; eaten out in too many restaurants to count; made real, meaningful friendships with so many people I would never have imagined possible; frequently attend monthly (and sometimes weekly) GNOs; had a couple of bra fittings; shopped for women’s clothing in drab and en femme, never hiding who the purchase was for; become a much better man, husband, friend and father; lost about 30 pounds and five inches off my previously wide waist; shed more hair than the average polar bear; become a fairly competitive runner in my AARP-eligible age group; actually won one 5K; become so very comfortable in my own skin; etc………
Sure, it took almost 53 years, but I got there by accepting and loving myself. I know who I am, I have developed my own sense of style and how I wish to present myself. I will admit, I’ve become quite photogenic (from the proper distance, like the Google Earth satellite), but I simply do not pass. No problem, every single opportunity I have had to go out as Kandi (and I know the time will come when this will not always true) has been a very positive experience. I crave the human connections that I am able to make when dressed, with both men and women alike, with those that share our struggles and those that will or cannot ever understand them. I spent two wonderful days in Erie with many of my sisters and actually spent about 25% of my time in male mode (the only one really do so during that time frame) and could not have felt more comfortable. I am now ME, and I now understand what that all means. Those relationships I mention allow me to accept and be accepted, support and be supported, complement, receive complements, love, laugh and learn.
I could go on and on, but I won’t bore you anymore, I’ve rambled on far too long already. I fool no one. But my joy, my happiness, my love of life (believe me, and some of you know, that love of life did not exist only a few years ago, I wanted nothing to do with anyone), my thankfulness, my great fortune to be married to a true gift from God, with two of the finest children anyone could ask for, all of this pours out of me every day, dressed or not. I am sooooooo lucky! I don't post this to brag (remember, this took my entire long, lifetime to figure out), I do so to maybe let some one else see what is possible.
God bless you all! Thank you for your support. I wanted to name some of the girls here that helped me both directly and indirectly by reading their posts, but I’m afraid of missing some one, so I thank you all!
Now what do I do?
I have done so many things, now going out in public as Kandi at least twice a week. I have (all of this since February)acquired the necessary things to present myself (wigs, makeup, lingerie, a wardrobe); had numerous makeovers; done a few photo sessions; visited Erie, Cincinnati, Detroit and Philadelphia; checked into a hotel en femme; been the subject of the amazing Amanda Richards; had five bridal fittings; taken Beauty Classes with many GGs, being accepted as one of them; found myself a weekly volunteer job dressed completely en femme (where they value my contribution); gotten a *#$@!* speeding ticket en femme; made too many girlfriends to count; become a thrift store queen (I own, in less than a year, almost 40 dresses, purchased at an estimated average price of about $4); established real meaningful relationships with sales associates at many women’s clothing stores (always starting each visit with a big hug); walked around too many dress stores to count while trying on many different dresses, engaging with other customers; tried on a $1,300 dress at Nordstrom’s (no, I didn’t buy it!); met a few girls from the forum here; eaten out in too many restaurants to count; made real, meaningful friendships with so many people I would never have imagined possible; frequently attend monthly (and sometimes weekly) GNOs; had a couple of bra fittings; shopped for women’s clothing in drab and en femme, never hiding who the purchase was for; become a much better man, husband, friend and father; lost about 30 pounds and five inches off my previously wide waist; shed more hair than the average polar bear; become a fairly competitive runner in my AARP-eligible age group; actually won one 5K; become so very comfortable in my own skin; etc………
Sure, it took almost 53 years, but I got there by accepting and loving myself. I know who I am, I have developed my own sense of style and how I wish to present myself. I will admit, I’ve become quite photogenic (from the proper distance, like the Google Earth satellite), but I simply do not pass. No problem, every single opportunity I have had to go out as Kandi (and I know the time will come when this will not always true) has been a very positive experience. I crave the human connections that I am able to make when dressed, with both men and women alike, with those that share our struggles and those that will or cannot ever understand them. I spent two wonderful days in Erie with many of my sisters and actually spent about 25% of my time in male mode (the only one really do so during that time frame) and could not have felt more comfortable. I am now ME, and I now understand what that all means. Those relationships I mention allow me to accept and be accepted, support and be supported, complement, receive complements, love, laugh and learn.
I could go on and on, but I won’t bore you anymore, I’ve rambled on far too long already. I fool no one. But my joy, my happiness, my love of life (believe me, and some of you know, that love of life did not exist only a few years ago, I wanted nothing to do with anyone), my thankfulness, my great fortune to be married to a true gift from God, with two of the finest children anyone could ask for, all of this pours out of me every day, dressed or not. I am sooooooo lucky! I don't post this to brag (remember, this took my entire long, lifetime to figure out), I do so to maybe let some one else see what is possible.
God bless you all! Thank you for your support. I wanted to name some of the girls here that helped me both directly and indirectly by reading their posts, but I’m afraid of missing some one, so I thank you all!
Now what do I do?