PennyNZ
12-02-2015, 03:34 AM
It's done: finished - everyone I care about knows
After coming out to most friends and work at the beginning of August, the last dear person to be told was Mother, whom I told today while visiting her. She lives in another city and has recently moved into a care facility. My mum is in her late 80's, still with it, but a bit fragile. The past few months has been stressful with her move, which is why she has been the last to know.
Fortunately, she has been very accepting, and had suspected what was going on - longer hair (14 months growth), pieced ears and painted nails, but like my sister and brother, are not ready to see me dressed. I respect that in the meantime, but there will be a day in the future when I will have to insist that this what I am and I expect them to be more accepting in my appearance.
I had been "forced" to change my journey plans by the local endocrinologist, who told my doctor some time ago after therapy that she did not want to even see me until I have completed 12 months living as a female. That of course changed my perceived MTF plans as I was hoping to be reasonably down the road with HRT with visual changes started - then "coming out"
The experience for me
Having done very little cross dressing in public, I was really nervous and apprehensive walking the main street in our town of Nelson NZ, which has about 40k local population, and where everyone knows everyone, so to speak.
My partner has been extremely supportive, but she could not handle my change at home, so after finding the "right" place sharing a house with others, I moved and started the coming out process, by meeting and telling good and old friends in drab. On the whole, everyone has been accepting on the surface, telling me they supported me and understood the need to be myself after 60 odd years.
One good friend of 40 + years (we joined the military at the same time) has a problem with it, but I think he is more influenced by his wife though, but hopefully he will come around in time. Their children don't have a problem with it.
Moving from home was acceptable situation for me. I did not want to get a rental apartment by myself, because I felt I could easily "hide away" when things got tough, reducing social contact, which is not me. I love people around most of the time.
I told my bosses at work, and was invited to tell the rest of their staff when we finished the meeting. All in all, all were accepting, congratulating me etc. I did invite them to come see me if they had any questions, and was quite surprised that only one took up the offer.
Knowing that word would spread like wildfire, I then started contacting some clients and friends whom I thought would accept my new status and deserved to be told personally rather than hearing it thought the grapevine, and those phone calls were very well received. Since then I have spent time contacting each, asking if they wanted to meet Penny, and most have now meet and seen Penny in person.
It also gave me the chance to clear some "myths" about MTF, which has been great.
Now, if I see someone I know in the street or at a venue whom I value, I approach them and talk with them. Obviously there are many surprises from those who say they had not heard of my change, but all have expressed support.
My ex-partner has been a fantastic friend and we often go out to a movie or have a meal together, often with others. Her children and grandchildren has been most accepting, which is gratifying.
My 34 year old son who lives in Australia, has been supportive, and my 36 year old daughter who lives in a town further South, welcomed me with open arms when I went to visit her, her partner and my grandson in September. She and 3 of her girl friends took me out to dinner on her birthday while I was there. I was nice to be accepted by her friends and we had a fun night.
So over all, I just wanted share my story so far, that everything can go reasonably well during the massive change. Plan for the worst - hope for the best
One of the things that annoys me is being addressed as Sir by a greeter or SA. Hopefully over time, I will be acknowledged as the person I present as and want to be, not just a man in a dress. It is very satisfying though when addressed as Madam, or Ladies when with a friend. Once again those people don't really bat an eyelid, and I am quite comfortable now asking to try something on, before I purchase.
I think most people are busy dealing with their own lives these days/ are much more acceptable to take too much notice.
Sure there are stares from time to time, but not one person so far have made a derogatory remark in my presence. I have learn't many things from this forum, including, those people have the problem, not me. So when it does happen, I am ready for it.
Obviously it is a long odyssey ahead. Those of you who have already gone through what I am going through now - congratulations - I admire and respect you so much, I know it is not easy in most cases.
Those of you who are contemplating starting your journey, I wish it goes as smoothly as possible.
Love Penny
After coming out to most friends and work at the beginning of August, the last dear person to be told was Mother, whom I told today while visiting her. She lives in another city and has recently moved into a care facility. My mum is in her late 80's, still with it, but a bit fragile. The past few months has been stressful with her move, which is why she has been the last to know.
Fortunately, she has been very accepting, and had suspected what was going on - longer hair (14 months growth), pieced ears and painted nails, but like my sister and brother, are not ready to see me dressed. I respect that in the meantime, but there will be a day in the future when I will have to insist that this what I am and I expect them to be more accepting in my appearance.
I had been "forced" to change my journey plans by the local endocrinologist, who told my doctor some time ago after therapy that she did not want to even see me until I have completed 12 months living as a female. That of course changed my perceived MTF plans as I was hoping to be reasonably down the road with HRT with visual changes started - then "coming out"
The experience for me
Having done very little cross dressing in public, I was really nervous and apprehensive walking the main street in our town of Nelson NZ, which has about 40k local population, and where everyone knows everyone, so to speak.
My partner has been extremely supportive, but she could not handle my change at home, so after finding the "right" place sharing a house with others, I moved and started the coming out process, by meeting and telling good and old friends in drab. On the whole, everyone has been accepting on the surface, telling me they supported me and understood the need to be myself after 60 odd years.
One good friend of 40 + years (we joined the military at the same time) has a problem with it, but I think he is more influenced by his wife though, but hopefully he will come around in time. Their children don't have a problem with it.
Moving from home was acceptable situation for me. I did not want to get a rental apartment by myself, because I felt I could easily "hide away" when things got tough, reducing social contact, which is not me. I love people around most of the time.
I told my bosses at work, and was invited to tell the rest of their staff when we finished the meeting. All in all, all were accepting, congratulating me etc. I did invite them to come see me if they had any questions, and was quite surprised that only one took up the offer.
Knowing that word would spread like wildfire, I then started contacting some clients and friends whom I thought would accept my new status and deserved to be told personally rather than hearing it thought the grapevine, and those phone calls were very well received. Since then I have spent time contacting each, asking if they wanted to meet Penny, and most have now meet and seen Penny in person.
It also gave me the chance to clear some "myths" about MTF, which has been great.
Now, if I see someone I know in the street or at a venue whom I value, I approach them and talk with them. Obviously there are many surprises from those who say they had not heard of my change, but all have expressed support.
My ex-partner has been a fantastic friend and we often go out to a movie or have a meal together, often with others. Her children and grandchildren has been most accepting, which is gratifying.
My 34 year old son who lives in Australia, has been supportive, and my 36 year old daughter who lives in a town further South, welcomed me with open arms when I went to visit her, her partner and my grandson in September. She and 3 of her girl friends took me out to dinner on her birthday while I was there. I was nice to be accepted by her friends and we had a fun night.
So over all, I just wanted share my story so far, that everything can go reasonably well during the massive change. Plan for the worst - hope for the best
One of the things that annoys me is being addressed as Sir by a greeter or SA. Hopefully over time, I will be acknowledged as the person I present as and want to be, not just a man in a dress. It is very satisfying though when addressed as Madam, or Ladies when with a friend. Once again those people don't really bat an eyelid, and I am quite comfortable now asking to try something on, before I purchase.
I think most people are busy dealing with their own lives these days/ are much more acceptable to take too much notice.
Sure there are stares from time to time, but not one person so far have made a derogatory remark in my presence. I have learn't many things from this forum, including, those people have the problem, not me. So when it does happen, I am ready for it.
Obviously it is a long odyssey ahead. Those of you who have already gone through what I am going through now - congratulations - I admire and respect you so much, I know it is not easy in most cases.
Those of you who are contemplating starting your journey, I wish it goes as smoothly as possible.
Love Penny