Surgery...THE surgery.

[I Am Paula]

Four of my girlfriends are in different stages of recovery from SRS. One, just 10 days ago, the others up to a couple of months.
Here I am, just sitting on my same old, same old. I'm starting to get really jealous.
I've been putting this off for a couple of years now. I don't know why. Fear? Uncertainty? I've spoken to Dr. Brassard's office, I've got my finances, and paperwork in order.
Please, somebody give me the virtual slap on the side of the head to get this ball rolling.

[Jennifer-GWN]

I still think the notion of 3 at the same time... Pay for 2 and get 1 free Boxing Day special.

[I Am Paula]

I think the three of us, in one recovery room might disturb the other patients. We could make it fun.

[Cheyenne Skye]

The question you should ask yourself is: Would I be doing it for myself or because it's expected of me.?

[PretzelGirl]

I agree with Cheyenne. If you need it, you will do it. The one problem is the length of waiting these days. A few months after transition, I signed up and wasn't over the top "I need this now". With an 18 month wait, I have just about gotten there. It is an extra factor.

Jennifer, if you three are all at once, I will fly up for a visit.

[PaulaQ]

Are you bothered by what's between your legs, Paula? If so, you should do this, because those feelings are not apt to improve over time. If not, don't do it. It is not without risk, it can be very painful (although for many women it isn't so bad), and nobody should have a surgery they don't need.

On the other hand, I can tell you that since I'm post-op, I feel a LOT better. My gender dysphoria is pretty much gone, or at least negligible. My junk bothered me simply by being there, feeling it against my body as I moved. It always felt really wrong. I knew it felt wrong, but I didn't realize how much it truly bothered me until I was post-op. For me, the choice was a no-brainer - I had horrible, horrible nightmares involving my genitals, to the point where I often didn't sleep much. I had really crushing gender dysphoria, as well. I needed the surgery. You don't need to feel that badly to have surgery - I'm not implying that at all! If it bothers you, you should do it. If you decide that you are really pretty OK down there - and a lot of us are hon - don't do it. If you do feel the need though, don't hesitate.

[Eringirl]

BOGO event works for me! It would certainly be entertaining for the staff !!:heehee:

Seriously though.....when it becomes an overwhelming need, you will know it.

For me...I am fully planning to have SRS as soon as I have all the requirments. There is no doubt at all in my mind. I am saving my $$ and should have it in the next few months if all goes well....so just a matter of completing the RLE requirement. And, on a side note....there is a good chance that there will be a major overhaul of the health care benefit in 2016 to provide much faster approval, so that would be a bonus!!!

[I Am Paula]

Thanks PaulaQ. The first thing is my parts have never caused my dysphoria. I don't hate them, but would MUCH rather I didn't have them. The only time I HATE my genitals is when any Dr. gives me a little square of paper to cover up, and says 'get naked'. I want to run, being a freak with boobs, and a...you know. I know I would be better off with vagina, my mind dithers between, go for it! And, you're doing just fine with what you've got. I guess it comes down to being complete, more than I need it. The most often asked question is- am I going to have sex with men? I already do (well, one man). What I've been doing since I was a teenager has served me well. Will vaginal sex be better? I doubt it.
In all seriousness (sorta), if the Three Amigas all decided to go at once, my mind would be made up. I can see it now "Hey Jennifer, what's in the trunk?" "My wine cellar, and a bunch of computers, and nine pairs of shoes".

Sue. Since Dr. Brassard is working with another surgeon, they are doing three girls a day, and his waiting list is down to weeks.

Cheyenne Sky. Food for thought.

Jennifer. Boxing day? Pun, or accident?

Thanks to y'all for listening.

- - - Updated - - -

Eringirl. This came in while I was typing.
The new protocols for SRS sound promising, let's hope they can expidite it quickly. I've changed servers, and I'm trying to find Brassard's paperwork, but I don't think he demands RLE. If you have not contacted him, his receptionist can be a little cold the first time, she keeps saying 'It's on the website'. Once she's heard from you, and knows you're not a troll, she is very helpful.
Also, when I was getting the go ahead for HRT, I told the therapist to make note of my RLE start date, and she said Paula, your RLE is done.

[PretzelGirl]

Paula, I was given the "square paper" once. I looked her dead in the eye and said "you know I am a pre-operative transexual". She said she was fine. I got ready and when she asked me to open my robe, her head dropped. Yes, I have a way at laughing at those situations, but inside it hurts. So yes, that is one of many good reasons.

I am glad Brassard is down to weeks. The waits are getting enormous for some (Bowers is over 2 years now) and we really need more availability. I am with Bowers because I want that extreme level of experience since I offer some potential variables. But all my drivers to do this have zero to do with sex with a man, so I think I get where you are.

[I Am Paula]

M. Bowers has a great reputation, for sure. I've met lots of Brassard girls, and they are all pleased. Go with your heart.
Not for me, but for many women, vaginal sex with a man is an important, if not the most important, factor. I think age has a lot to do with it. If I was twenty, I would already be there.

[PaulaQ]

Not for me, but for many women, vaginal sex with a man is an important, if not the most important, factor. I think age has a lot to do with it. If I was twenty, I would already be there.

This is because straight people are often not well informed about sex. Look, I'm looking forward to trying out some PIV action - I'm getting close to being healed up enough to try it. But based on my own experiences with women in my past, I already know that the really mind-blowing orgasms are generally NOT from straight PIV sex. The really mind blowing ones are what I want, and getting there tends to be a lot more involved. Sadly, until my revision, mind blowing is probably not in the cards for me. At this point about the best I can achieve is "well, that was kind of nice, I guess..."

But hey, once I try it, I'll report back here. Look for a thread titled either: "OMG - vaginal intercourse!" or "PIV sex - meh", depending on how it goes.

Feeling complete is a decent reason to do this. Despite my rather nasty dysphoria, I was never shy about my body. However, there is no way on earth that I would've used a women's locker room at a gym or public pool. I had nightmares about stuff like that, so I certainly think that feeling comfortable in those situations is a decent reason to have GRS.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I was ambivalent about my surgery...

It was the last thing in my plan, i actively wondered if i was taking big risk for little reward, but i went forward..

I'm super happy I did... i was not super GD about my youknowwhat... it got old tucking it...it still popped to attention every once in a while...it was just...there....

i recall after surgery having many many thoughts about my naked body that i never had before... not sex thoughts or specific to my body parts..
... just thoughts... i beleive i never had those thoughts because in reality i was bottling up my shame about my body(male)

personally based on your posts, your head is on straight and you are thinking clearly...take your time and let the decision come to you.

[Jennifer-GWN]

PaulaQ

You hit my few points. There are a number of situations I'm continuing to avoid despite my comfort in myself. Finding a partner is of course on my mind as well as one. Clearly not sure how/if my attractions are changing but will not pursue anything until I'm right down there. I've always been on "on the bottom" and vaginal sex is something I've fantasized about for a long time (never dreamed possible).

I don't cringe seeing down below but equally agree with Paula (I am) that as the days go on congruency with who I am is increasing the anxiety levels to the point it's becoming obvious.

I've contemplated SRS for a very long time, more recently given where I am now its come front and center and today I set that path in motion. I need to be me... 100% me, mentally, internally, and externally. As much as the thought of surgery scares me and recovery period even more it must be done.

I look to your continued guidance and insight and trust that everything will go well in the future as you deal with your recuperative issues.

Cheers... Jennifer

[whowhatwhen]

The question you should ask yourself is: Would I be doing it for myself or because it's expected of me.?

One time I joked to my mom that I'd only be doing it to have an extra pocket to keep my keys.
She did not find it as funny as I did :P

[flatlander_48]

I A P:

Exclusive of the circumstances, remember that the human mechanism resists Change, basically any and all Change. What that can do is work to magnify the unknowns and minimize the positive benefits that can result. Perhaps it could be useful to think about how a decision process might be structured, and less about the actual event(s), to start things moving. I think the longer a decision process draws out, the more the reality is likely to become even more warped in terms of magnification and minimization.

Good Luck!

DeeAnn

[Debb]

One time I joked to my mom that I'd only be doing it to have an extra pocket to keep my keys.
She did not find it as funny as I did :P

I did, though. I laughed out loud, beside my wife in bed at 3.00am.

[karenpayneoregon]

Hesitation can have many meanings, unsure of how life will be after surgery, do I truly need surgery to be happy in my own skin? I waited until the age of 58, was not hesitating but instead assumed (and was right) that I would not be accepted as well as when I was male in teaching personal protection which I did at minimum twice at week. Had to come to terms with that and once I did there was no hesitation. Some may not realize they might be better off having surgery, I've known a handful and gently cultivated them both directions, never forcing the issue of surgery but would lean on the dark side (things could be worst) rather than pushing for surgery.

What I recommend is first start a journal and write in this everyday, review what was written weekly. Spend time by yourself e.g. take a drive to the coast, mountain or perhaps a park, clear your mind and contemplate life as it is and what it might be after surgery all the time being blunt and truthful to yourself. I did these things but rather than a paper journal created a WordPress blog so it was out there for all to see.

In the end there was no hesitation and now living as I should had many years ago.

[Jonianne]

Hi Paula. I haven't posted in a Loooooog time, lol. I like what Kaitlyn said (like always), let the decision come to you. Out in the real world there are many, if not most, who don't even want to choose surgery. I like that the world is getting to be a better place where you can find where you fit the best and stay there, without as much pressure from within the community and without. Be yourself.