Semi Came out to a friend?

[matthewkaila422]

Not too long ago I just spoke with one of my girlfriends (girl that is a friend - someone I can see being more than that one day possibly). I told her I needed to tell her something important and I get nervous when I attempted to bring it up earlier. I didn't tell her about my crossdressing yet, just the fact that there was a secret I wanted to tell her basically. In other words im stalling for time so I know what I'm gonna say. I feel like I should tell her I feel like both a male and a female and that I crossdress privately. But I think for the time being I don't want to classify my gender. Any ideas of what I should say?

[Shelly Preston]

Read the link in my signature on

"how to tell your partner"

It has lots of great advice

[MissDanielle]

Maybe you're bigender or genderfluid? Of course, I thought I was just a CD but the moment I wore my bra and panties on Friday was the moment I realized that I want it to be real and that I'm 100% girl on the inside.

[matthewkaila422]

I've considered gender fluid, I tend to bounce back in forth a lot, though I'm not sure if I'm ready to completely classify myself yet... I don't know, this is one confusing subject sometimes. Guess I just gotta discuss this along with my crossdressing go my friend, and hope she'll understand.

[MissDanielle]

I hear ya on the confusion. I've had the urge to dress for many years but never truly understood why I raided my mom's closet. I was robbed of my girlhood because I never had any sisters.

[Tracii G]

You don't have to classify as anything in particular so don't worry too much about that.
I think a lot of people obsess too much with OMG where do I fit in all of this.
The ones that obsess tend to have more problems dealing with their gender identity.

When you tell her just be honest and as real as you can be.If you don't know the answer to a question say I don't know or I'm not sure.

[heatherdress]

What is you expectation about what this girl is going to be to you and how can you tell her anything if you don't know yourself your gender? I think if you want to maintain a relationship while you figure out who you are, you should be very careful about what you tell her.

[Beverley Sims]

Feel out her views on dressing and if you find it okay tell her.

My question is why tell anyone at all?

[matthewkaila422]

The reason I want to tell her (and eventually hopefully everyone else) is because I want to be open and be myself without hiding this secret. I feel like I'll either come out or get caught and be forced to come out, so might as well do it myself.

[Jazzy Jaz]

Some are comfortable in the closet and many are quite fearful of the "outside" which is fine, I too am not out yet except to litterly a couple people. However, some folks are ready to be out and even totally eager and comfortable being out. Some folks who are "in" admire those who are out and I personally respect those who have the courage to be themselves in front of the world. Everyone is at thier own pace which is totally ok and you never know, someone deep in the closet today may be the face and voice of cders in the public tommorrow. I think if you feel like opening up and you've thought it through and feel you are approaching being ready, then all the power to you and I wish you good luck.

[matthewkaila422]

I'm glad that I found the right person to tell. My friend took it very well, told me that she was okay with it (along with a hug). Just coming out to her has made me a bit more confident to be myself out in the world. Thank you all for the advice :)

[S. Lisa Smith]

Wonderful!!!!