What a tattoo can do :-)

[wanabe-Leona]

I took my wife in to get a tat that she has been wanting for a wile and. Let me back up a little I told her yesterday morning that I wanted to take her out and get her one of her Christmas gifts. At the time was going to completely surprise her at the shop well after looking it up online and reading reviews decided to tell her before we left the house. Now it's a very personal tat and I wanted her to be completely comfortable with the shop and the artist.
She was surprised and elated but asked what she could give that would equal to it. (Now if you go back or remember I just came out to her a few months ago and have been in a DADT sense then she did not want anything to do with my dressing at all . I had tryed wearing a skirt that she had given me and she went off the deep end over it. Did not like seeing me in it and had to get it off i could not get it soon enough for her! )
Then!!!
She thought for just a few minutes then she asked if a dress would equal ( I had to stop and think did she just say DRESS ) . Well my response was will you go with me to get it. Her answer was yes of course I will.
She got her tat and the artist did a very good job on it she is very very happy with it.
Me I'm looking forward to going shopping in the near future with her for my dress and relived that she is getting a little more comfortable with it all.
I'm in a WIN WIN WIN !
Like I said : WHAT A TATTOO CAN DO!

[Molly James]

Hi Leona. Being in a very similar situation to yourself (in fact, sounds identical - my wife wants a tattoo for Christmas!), it really is all about taking little steps & being patient enough to let your wife slowly get used to the idea - the possible downside being that you may never be anything other than DADT but the plus side is that if you don't push then maybe, just maybe, she will come around to realising you are still the same person underneath & accept that the CD'ing doesn't pose a threat to your marriage. Enjoy your day out dress shopping & remember to post a pic of the dress!

Have fun.

GiGi

[Claire Cook]

Hi Leona,

Sometimes acceptance is a step-by-step process. Remember that the wife comes first, and yes, enjoy the dress shopping!

[kittie60]

Hi Leona,its like we always say, baby steps we all have to take baby steps for our SO's.hopefully for you it will work out for you. Now that would be one heck of a Christmas present. Your on the right track. Best wishes and Happy holidays

[Marcelle]

Hi Leona,

That is a good step forward indeed. I can only echo what others have said . . . small steps and keep communicating. Congrats and enjoy your shopping.

Cheers

Marcelle

[Allison_CD]

Women with TATTOO's ! Oh dear.

[S. Lisa Smith]

Wonderful!!!

[bridget thronton]

And very nice gifts from both hearts

[karynspanties]

Hopefully she holds up her end of the bargain. I would not count on her wanting to actually see you try it on or wear it at home. Just being realistic.

[Suzie Petersen]

Leona,

That sounds like a good step in the right direction :-)

But ... you might be on very thin ice right now so be very careful.

A couple of thoughts:
It is nice of her to want to give you something in return, but from now on these two "gifts" will be somewhat connected in her mind! If it turns out she is unable to deal with the dressing, you might not want her to associate her "very personal" tat with having given you a womens dress in return.

What you describe with her giving you a skirt, but then having a really difficult time actually seeing you wear it, is a very typical pattern. A wife who just learns of a hubby's CD'ing will often try very hard to be accepting because she feel she should support you in anything you do. She loves you and will try to accommodate. It is this ability in women that allows most of us men to get away with being difficult to live with! If women only married, and stayed with, always lovable men, most of us would not stand a chance, right! :)
So she tries giving you the skirt, but then realizes she has severe difficulties actually dealing with seeing you in it. That is a very typical reaction, and not a good sign.
Now, she might be able to get past this, but it depends a lot on both of you.

If I were you, and I do speak from experience with very similar situations (yes, more than once), I would tell her I love her for offering the dress, but that this is all about her and there is no need to give you something in return right now.

Watch out for signs of "Thin Ice" ;)

- Suzie

[wanabe-Leona]

Thank you all for the responses and encouraging words and yes I'm not going to push or hold her to her word. It's going to be her to bring it up and fallow through. It just surprised me that she came up with it!

[Lisa Roberts]

Amazingly sage advice! Go slow and don't expect "acceptance" immediately. Be content with guarded tolerance. I'm 5 years into being "out" to my wife or 35 years. Almost wish I would have stayed in the Closest. It's been a rocky couple of years. Sad face!!

[Beverley Sims]

Yes, like others have said, tread carefully, don't get all gushy and things might slowly work out.

Make a wrong move and months of patience will become undone in five minutes