Early issues

[AlleyKat]

So I've come out as transgendered to my self and a small support network. Im also mostly homeless and really can't afford to really dress yet.

What kind of things do you all do to feed your girly side when you can't dress/shop?

Having started down this road, and trying to go back to keeping it all in my head hurts.

[MissDanielle]

I'm underdressing in panties until I can move in two months. I know that many sites suggest hipsters or briefs as far as the most coverage goes but I've found that bikini bottoms have really given me that sexiness or girly feeling inside. That's not to say I don't love my hipsters. I've fed that urge with some Black Friday purchases from Hanes and Kohls.

The other thing is all the fantasy shopping online. I have clothing and whatnot bookmarked that I plan to purchase after I move in two months.

Having that support network, no matter how small or huge it is, is certainly a big thing. I came out as trans or CD a month ago (I was confused and didn't know what I really was but I do and that's important to me) and my friends couldn't be more supportive and accepting of who I really am inside. Admitting it is a big first step.

I couldn't agree more that keeping it in makes the head hurt. I had to lie to myself for many years before I reached the point in which I couldn't repress who I really was. I'm seeing a therapist and I'm going to find a new therapist for when I move. It's a process, no doubt. I've turned to comedy and anger as a release for hiding who I really am inside. I've slowly been coming out to my comedy friends so I don't shock them in a few months.

[kittie60]

Hi alleykat, its different for all of us. Many many years ago I use to just wear panties and moved up the ladder when I could. They didn't have support sites back then. Hell we didn't even have computers. Anyways IRS a really tough road were on but it will get better for you. Under dressing is always a good way to feed the femminine side. That always helped until I established my wardrobe.of course finding a place of your own is important. However you decide, best of luck to you

[Teresa]

AlleyKat,
Not an easy situation for a CDer ! Where do you normally manage to get shelter, I'm sure people like the Salvation Army would be sympathetic to your CDing needs and supply you something to wear. I guess you could be in a vulnerable situation being partly homeless with the sort of people you could be mixing with.

I hope you can sort something out and not get too down about it but please be careful and try not to expose yourself to a dangerous situation !

[AlleyKat]

I 'spose clarification is in order. By partially homeless, I have been couch surfing, moving between a friends house and a (at the time) SO''s glas place.

Me and the SO had been living together I took a risk on a job change, it didn't work out.
Ironically us breaking up had nothing to do with my cd, besides making me feel free to persue it. It has actually given us something to bond over as we readjust to being friends again.

As me welcome wears out here, I am still having difficulty finding a place I can afford or a roommate who will accept a weekend kid, I am strongly considering a weekly, which will leave me more than flat broke, but will also leave me with freedom of self.

I also reminded my self that Xmas is coming, which means a small influx of money. I should be able to afford forms and a bra at that point, and I'm pretty sure my ex will end up getting me some leggings since she knows I need some.

Overall it was a passing feeling, spending the day here helped some too.

[pamela7]

safety first, survival before presentation, you know who you are now, sure tell others, wishing you the best of luck

[Claire Cook]

Alley Kat,

Tough situation and I echo all of the above. There are ways to get cheap clothes and undies -- if you have access to a dollar store or a Good Will, they are great places to start. (Dollar stores often have cheap bras and panties that are great for under dressing.) Your support network sounds like a godsend.

[gokatiegirl]

What kind of things do you all do to feed your girly side when you can't dress/shop?

Keep your body shaved; works for me.

[JenniferR771]

Unemployment is a huge problem if you are trans. Discrimination happens. Keep looking, you are only one successful interview from that lucrative dream job.
And...read a few books and brochures on starting your own business. Get help from local business sources. Be your own boss--you will appreciate her flexible attitudes.

[AlleyKat]

Thankfully I have a job, and the person that I knew would have a problem just quit... Unfortunately, working in a warehouse does not lend itself to cd anyways. And a commute that involve a lot of walking in the PNW requires some waterproof shoes, which in my case is a pair of ugly,clunky work boots with out an once of femme. (No I'm not bitter, why do you ask?)

As much as I would love to start my own business, it's a bad idea for me. The best move for me is to stay where I'm at (which offers very regular raises) and once I'm more stable, get my butt back in school to get a higher degree (aas-t is worthless)

Anyways, as I said last time do feel better now, and I definitely appreciate the support.

[sometimes_miss]

What kind of things do you all do to feed your girly side when you can't dress/shop?
Close my eyes and daydream a lot. Sometimes when it's really slow at work, when I see someone who's really, really pretty, I imagine what it would be like to be her, waking up, getting all ready to go out, and getting dressed in that outfit, walking to the car, driving, feeling the long hair against my neck and shoulders, etc.. Makes a nice break up of the work hours. I avoid getting into trouble by appearing to be taking naps, by carrying an eye 'wetting' agent, I just say that my eyes are dry and I need to close them more often than most. It's easy to get away with, because we often have idiots raising dust which aggravates everyone's allergies.