Cute 'DADT but maybe not' story...

[Helen 2]

As many of you know, I've a long, solid (35+ years) marriage with a wife who knows all about Helen but does not want to participate and is very much DADT. Fortunately, she travels often and can be away for a few weeks at a time during which time Helen can come out and play....

Saturday was her employer's Christmas party and she chose a lovely red dress/black cardigan combo which looked great on her except that her lipstick was too red for the slightly orangish overtones to the dress...so...it kinda went like this:
wife, frowning at herself in the mirror: 'this lipstick does not match this dress well. What do you think?'
me: agree.....it's a different shade from the dress altogether'
wife: 'damn it.....I don't have any that are more orange', then she turns and looks at me and -here it comes- 'do you'?
Me: 'ahhh....yeah...'
Wife: 'would you be a dear and fetch it'?
Me: 'ahhh...sure'
I come back with the lipstick and matching lip liner, she takes a look at them and proclaims 'perfect!'
She applies it, looks at me and says 'how's that?'
Me: 'much better...definitely'.
Wife pecks me on the lips and I kinda nip at her lower lip and say 'mmnnn! Tastes familiar'
Wife smiles and says 'it's mine now'.

Too kewl. Is she accepting? I think so.....in her own way
I'm happy
;o)

[tanya_cd]

I've always thought its rare for a SO to know and accept (dadt/openly) us in relationships. I notice a lot of posts from cd's on here that are in these types of relationships. Maybe its just me and it really is rare, or maybe its just a correlation with the cd's who communicate thoughts and feelings to other like on this board.

I know in my life, it has had devastating consequences on my relationships.

I would imagine its still rare to find a GG who accepts. Im jealous. I wish you both the best of luck.

[NicoleScott]

Your CDing served her purpose for the moment (and in the future when she wears that dress), but I'm not sure it signals her acceptance and the end of DADT. Maybe so, but I would proceed with caution and make no such assumptions.
Cute story, though.

[JamieG]

Takes this for what it was, a chance for you to help her out with a fashion emergency. Let her take the lead on whether this leads to more openness about crossdressing in the relationship. Hopefully, this is the beginning of her realizing that there are some advantages to having a CDing partner.

[Sara Jessica]

This goes to show that DADT is more of a spectrum that in this instance can include fleeting moments of acceptance, even if born of need or convenience.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Helen:hugs:, My wonderful DA/DT :love:wife knows about everything but just don't want to see me while I'm dressed
I have lost some hose, tops, dresses & now some of my new pierced earrings to her and that makes me feel so happy. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[S. Lisa Smith]

My wife is on the far end of DADT. She knows, gives me space, has picked up things for me and we talk about it occasionally. She still doesn't want to meet Lisa. It would be fun if she did, but I have to appreciate what I have!

[Jaylyn]

My wife is accepting and I can dress just about any time my heart desires but she does have some guidelines such as not in front of the family and says no to me going out dressed. I do respect her wishes on her requests. She has borrowed my hose and even my makeup when she has run out of certain things. She also asks me if I need anything when she buys herself makeup. Your wife might be coming over to your acceptance but don't push the limits and roll with her requests. Hope it all works out for you.

[suzanne]

My marriage is not DADT, but my wife gave me a great moment recently. She hardly ever wears a dress, so my collection is much more extensive than hers. We were invited to a wedding and her plan was to wear a dress she bought over a year ago. Unfortunately, it didn't fit, so she came to me. "Would it be okay if I borrow one of yours?" What could I say? "Of course you can, in fact I'd be honored if you did."

And so it was. The funniest part for me was that my wife didn't even pick out my best dress. But she got compliments and I have to admit I was a bit jealous because I had to wear a suit. I just had to live with it, because when a CD wears a dress to a wedding, no one's looking at the bride anymore. You can make enemies that way.

[kittie60]

I would not jump the gun just yet. It is a good start though my wife used to be okay with it and now she's not and has moved out for the last 2years.we still see one another but now it's a dadt.she had a wedding to go to and wanted to borrow a dress. Well I never got it back cause she liked it so well. The samething with a nice orange dress also. It still didn't change things although it is nice for them to have a backup wardrobe. Take it nice and cool. Hope things work out for the best.

[Helen 2]

Sara, I think u hit it precisely.....I know full well she will NEVER cross over to the 'full acceptance' side and I will not ever try to push her that way, which is why I thought this was such a cute story/situation: because it was soooooo convenient. ;o)

Thanks all for your insightful comments and hugs'
Helen

[Robin414]

Wow Helen, awesome story thanks for sharing!! 😊

[Athena_]

Great story! Take the small victories in a DADT relationship. You were just doing what a great spouse does, helping out in any way that you can. Thanks for sharing!

[CarlaWestin]

Helen, that is a cute and refreshing story.
But, my experience with DADT, my current situation, is that it is likened to immobilizing cured concrete.
I do have my own open space but, the subject is never discussed unless it's the focus of ridicule.

[Stephanie47]

If that is not accepting I don't know what would be. DADT does not mean your wife is not aware of your crossdressing. Of course she knows when she is away Helen will play. If I were in your heels I'd take the opportunity to open some sort of dialogue. Obviously she is not hostile to your crossdressing. After 35+ years of marriage she may be waiting for you to initiate a dialogue. She certainly has given you the opportunity.

[Beverley Sims]

It's moments like this you take carefully and work on them.

It may or may not happen, don't hold your breath though. :-)