holding doors

[marshalynn]

I still feel funny when a man holds the door open for me, I dress fem and have very long hair that I wear down all the time, most of the time very little or no makeup and blend in clothes on. This has happened a lot lately, I say thank you and walk on thru, Do any of you feel strange in a good way also when this happens to you? Marshalynn

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I've been scowled at by a womanfor holding a door open- clearly she hadn't figured out that I hold doors open for men too, and I've twice been scowled at for holding the door open for celebs- clearly they imagined I was doing it because I was in awe of them. Tricky things, doors.

Who knows Marsha- maybe they held the doors open because they are nice people!

[debstar]

It's a common curtsey irispective of it the gender.

Some men do take it as an affront to their manlyhood.

Once a guy sarcasticly said "thanks jee ves" that anoyed me a little.

[Kayla_K]

After my upbringing. I have a hard time when femme with the door thing. I have always been the one to go out of the way to open doors for the ladies. Often time stepping quickly to get to the door in order to do it. I actually do this to when dressed and I get looks for it. I am trying to break that habit. It is nice to have the door held for you when dressed.

[Claire Cook]

It's kinda nice when it happens, but then again I'll hold the door open for another lady even when i am dressed. But don't we really want to be treated as ladies? Yesterday we were at a garden store and I was about to lift a bag of potting soil into a cart when one of the Home Depot guys said "Miss, let me do that for you." Yes, that was nice :battingeyelashes:.

[kittie60]

No not anymore. I still hold the door for the elderly and anyone who has a hard time getting around or if there hands are full. Common courtesy thats all.

[Beverley Sims]

I just think,maybe I passed again. :-)

[carhill2mn]

No, I don't feel strange. I feel good, smile and say "Thank you".

[Barbara Jo]

Yeah, it' common courtesy for any gender.
I always hold a a door open for both genders and never had a problem with it .

If someone did happen to take offense, screw them !
They have a real problem, not me and I'm not going to become discourteous because of them.

[susan54]

Much the same as the other comments/ I feel slightly guilty when a man holds a dor open for me as Susan but I am happy to hold the door open for other irrespective of gender, so no need to get anxious about anything.

[Skirtgirl]

Feels very strange to me as I always hold the door for women and it feels different when a man does it for me. I simply smile and mouth thanks and think I must look female if he thinks I am! Thats a very good feeling and puts a spring in my step.

[Cheryl T]

I don't feel strange at all. I admire the respect the person has for another person (whether or not they believe me to be a woman).
I will hold the door for others as well, not because someone is female (although I do always do that...my mother brought me up right), but because I prefer to show respect to another human being and acknowledge their presence. Some appreciate it, others...well let's just say they need to review their manners.

[Eryn]

I was raised to be a gentleman and always held doors for those in my group who were behind me, particularly ladies. Now I am a lady and I graciously allow others to hold the door for me.

The most awkward-feeling situation I face is at a small theater that has standing room to either side of the seats. Several times I have been one of the last ones in and a seated gentleman has risen and offered me his seat. Even though my ingrained conditioning screams "no!" I accept the seat as not to do so would be impolite.

[Sky]

I love it. I enjoy being treated like a lady and I always respond with a big smile and a loud "thank you" in my unmistakably male voice, as if to eliminate any doubt for short-sighted gentlemen. :D Only once, a while ago, I noted a sarcastic, exaggerated courtesy from some redneck when leaving a country store, I didn't like it but left without a comment. Today I would probably turn around and give the hillbilly a piece of my mind (specifically, the piece filled with expletives).

[Tracii G]

I love it actually especially if I am in 100% girl mode.
Had a red neckish guy hold the door for me the other day while I was in 50/50 mode or "pumpkin mode".
His GF looked at him with a puzzled look and said honey that was a guy he can open his own door LOL.
The guy did a double take and said oh shit sorry. I said it was very gentlemanly of you thank you and gave him a wink.
His GF about lost it and started giggling with her hands to her mouth.
I couldn't let a funny situation go by without making the best of it and yes he was really cute,:):)

[Allisa]

Not at all, I've even had women hold the door for me when passing in the door way. I think it's just being polite.

[margararet]

It makes me feel very feminine if a guy holds a door open for me. I always respond with a smile and thank you. Even in femme mode I will hold the door for someone with a child or the elderly. I tend to expect the man to open a car door for me if we are going on a date. It make them feel a little more masculine I think - just a guess

[Eryn]

...Today I would probably turn around and give the hillbilly a piece of my mind (specifically, the piece filled with expletives).

Before you pull out the flamethrower be sure that your target truly deserves it. Exaggerated motions may or may not indicate that he is mocking you. He might just be drunk and think that he is being particularly chivalrous. Yell at him and you'll certainly verify any suspicions he might have as well as giving him the perfect justification for them.

[bridget thronton]

What I like most about our campus is that people open doors for one another (students, faculty, men, women equally)

[CD Tammy]

I hold the door for women or those that are presenting themselves as women. I always will. If a women gets offended or upset that I've held the door for her, I let her have her comment or rant then go about my way. It's courtesy. Has anyone noticed that the passenger doors of many vehicles no longer have keyholes? Make sure you have your remote if you are going to be a gentleman.

[Krisi]

I suppose I live in a more polite part of the world. Here, it's common for anyone to hold the door for anyone.

[Sarah-RT]

I think many have hit the point on this one, in general you should hold the door open for anyone, not because they are female, or elderly or anything else just simply because they are another person.

When I hang with my friends in Sarah mode and they hold a door for me I do get a weird feeling from it though, as it is not something I expect to happen, I usually allow someone to enter before me and Ill step back to let them through.

[marshalynn]

I want to make it clear I was not complaining, about some man held the door for me, I am saying it feels strange being treated as a female, after so many years as a male. Marshalynn

[jenniferinsf]

i am betwixt and between.....in some cases i hesitate and if someone (most often a man) holds the door for me i accept graciously....i sometimes hold it open for others given different circumstances - stream of people, hands full of xmas packages

both feel right as just proper manners and courtesy

[GeorgeA]

Since I only go out in male attire, I had the door open by both men and women, and I always do likewise. Common courtesy.
One unusual incident was when I was walking through our extensive underground walkways. I walked behind a well-known politician and not once did he held the door open or even glanced backwards to see who's behind him. I finally manged to get ahead of him and held the door open for him, he walked through without a word or even a nod of acknowledgement.
I guess it would have been different if he were campaigning for re-election.

[Teresa]

Marshalynn,
Holding doors is just good manners, to me gender doesn't come into it !
A man or a woman struggling with a pushchair, or loaded down with shopping bags, you just hope the example rubs off and they would do the same for you.

[sometimes_miss]

Once a guy sarcasticly said "thanks jeeves" that annoyed me a little.
I had a guy do that to me, too; I responded, 'No problem, always glad to help the handicapped'. Left him looking quite puzzled.

I hold doors for everyone. The best fun is when a woman walks through a few steps in front of me and lets the door go hard, and I let it hit my hand loudly, and at the same time, make some kind of OOF! noise, implying that it hit me, then grab my nose. Embarrasses the crap out of them, especially if I happen to have two packages (not fragile) and I can drop one. The security guard where I used to work for a long time always got a laugh when I managed to catch one of the ladies with this. I can only hope that at some point, they wouldn't do it to someone else who WAS vulnerable to getting hit by a door that she could have let slam in their face.

[ChristinaK]

Wow! The first time I held the door for a middle aged man. He hesitated and looked me in the eye. Uh oh, I forgot I'm a woman! Doh!

Next time, I looked at a guy and he held the door for me! That just tickled me pink! How cool was that? I know it's happened to many, but it was the first time for me.

[heatherdress]

It is a common courtesy that many perform regardless of gender. You should not make any assumptions because someone is kind except that they are kind.

[lingerieLiz]

Several years ago I was casually dressed in jeans and a woman's polo shirt. I had a bra on and a girls hat. I was walking into a store in front of a couple. I opened the door and went to hold it open for them. As the woman passed by she said, thank you but he should hold it for both of us. We laughed as he tried to grab it as it closed so it didn't hit me.

[Kimberley May]

I think it's just common curtesy regardless of gender. I will keep the door open for anyone who is directly behind me regardless, and I expect women to do the same. If someone doesn't like it, then I guess they just prefer having the door slammed in their face :heehee:

[Sarasometimes]

Odd how this came back up here today. I always hold doors for others, it is courteous and polite and it makes both my day and theirs a bit brighter. I do it for anyone and I apologize if I miss a chance and notice it late. Yesterday I was walking into a high school and a mother daughter were leaving and 3 boys were just behind me. I held the door for those behind me because of the timing and then noticed that they failed to do the same. Now mind you, they came through the door while the 2 exiting waited, just really rude. I almost made a comment, but I figured if mom and dad didn't teach them this, I wasn't going to be able to.
Sort of sad that rude behavior is now more the norm.
Sorry for the rant.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Marsha Lynn:hugs:, When I was about 5years old I dropped the door on a woman and my Mother raped me a good one
and to this day I always hold the door and not drop it on any one.

I am a graduate of the school of Hard Knox and it has served me well. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[Stephanie47]

I've always figured it is nothing more than an act of courtesy. I hold doors for able bodied men and women as well as the infirm and aged and with small kids. I will even wait for someone needing help rather than just letting it close in his or her face. As a six foot male it is remarkable the number of times I am approached by women in the grocery stores for assistance in getting something off a top shelf. Sometimes I watch them eyeing the product and trying to figure out "How the heck do I get that two liter bottle of pop off the top shelf without clunking my head?" I'll go up and ask if they need assistance. It's those little acts of kindness that counteract the self absorbed people of society.

[Adriana Moretti]

I remember the first time a man held a door for me, it was at a cd/tg event ...and I just melted, I was like wow....this guy is a perfect gentleman, later on that evening we met again at an after party....thats when i learned he was FTM ....to this day we are still friends....

[MarciManseau]

Odd how this came back up here today. I always hold doors for others, it is courteous and polite and it makes both my day and theirs a bit brighter. I do it for anyone and I apologize if I miss a chance and notice it late. Yesterday I was walking into a high school and a mother daughter were leaving and 3 boys were just behind me. I held the door for those behind me because of the timing and then noticed that they failed to do the same. Now mind you, they came through the door while the 2 exiting waited, just really rude. I almost made a comment, but I figured if mom and dad didn't teach them this, I wasn't going to be able to.
Sort of sad that rude behavior is now more the norm.
Sorry for the rant.

It's quite the opposite where we live. Everyone here holds the door for others, regardless of gender or age. If someone is approaching a door they are holding from like 10-15 feet away, usually they will stand and wait. It's soooo nice :) And once inside a store, almost everyone nods or says hi. Not at all like in the big cities I've lived in.

[Jenny22]

I don't go out in female mode, but I always hold doors for anyone. I always look behind me to see if anyone is coming, and will keep the door open for them. They always thanks me. I have a little fun, too, sometimes. If I know the door is automatic, and I see a woman approaching it at about the same time as me, I will move ahead of her and say, "let me open it for you." It opens, of course, and she will laugh and thank me.
Years ago, I was going into an office building, and a smartly dressed young woman was close behind, so I opened the door for her. She curtly said, "you don't have to hold the door open for me because I'm a woman." I replied, "You are right; I did it because I'm a gentleman." The look on her face was priceless!

[MarciManseau]

Sounds like you're both a gentleman and a lady :) What a sweet combination. Thanks for making me smile. If you were here, I'd give you a grateful hug.

[SabrinaEmily]

I wonder where these legendary women who get mad when someone holds the door open for them are. I'm lucky enough to have never encountered one, and I hope it stays that way, though it would be fun to drop the "because I'm a gentleman" line on them. (If I were wearing a skirt or other obviously feminine clothes at the time, even better; their head might explode.)

I'll hold the door open for anyone if they're in range, and I've had men, women, and probably even a couple non-binary people do the same for me.

[irene9999]

I've had the door held for me as a guy but then it's pretty common here in Canada regardless of gender

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I was raised that a gentleman always holds the door open for a lady,

My wife told me that the day I stop holding or opening doors for her the honeymoon is over.

After 33 1/2 years of marriage I'm still holding doors open for my wife and other women. I hold them open for others as well out of courtesy.

I have no problem with a man holding the door open for me when enfemme.

Unfortunately I don't recall it ever happening so I obviously need to get out more!

[Jenny22]

I always hold doors for everyone. If I know the door is automatic and someone is approaching it with me, I'll go ahead and say,'I'll open it for you." That almost gets a chuckle or laugh especially from women.
Years ago when I was still working, I was ready to enter a fancy office building, and noticed that a smartly dressed woman was right behind me. I pulled the door open and stepped aside for her to enter first. Rather snottily she said, "you don't have to do that because I'm a woman!" I replied," You are right. I did it because I'm a gentleman." The look on her face was priceless.

[pamela7]

it's a common courtesy among civilised people, to hold a door open for any gender/age

[Eryn]

Door-holding etiquette is tricky and rather fluid.

A male accompanied by a female opens the door, stands aside, and allows the female to precede him.

A male who is part of the group opens the door, stands aside, and allows the entire group to enter.

A female accompanied by another female opens the door. passes through, but holds the door long enough for the woman behind her to take control of it.

A group of females may follow the previous procedure repeatedly or one may step aside and hold the door for the others.

All of the above rules are subject to modification as circumstances require!

Trivia question: What is one situation where the male is supposed to precede the female through the door?

[Samantha981]

it's a common courtesy among civilized people, to hold a door open for any gender/age

Completely agree! There will be a few women (when I'm guy mode which is almost always) at work who are like, you don't have to do that, or grab the door so I can precede them - but I do it anyway just the way I was raised:)

[Pat]

I'll be honest, like so many other here I've always held doors for others -- it's simple politeness. But there's a qualitative difference between a door being held from general politeness and a door being opened and held by a man to accommodate a lady. You can feel it in their manner. And when I'm out and dressed if I get that vibe off someone I do feel a little uncomfortable. Like I'm accepting an unearned privilege. It's just my personal, internal reaction. However I also feel it would be ungracious bordering on rude not to accept that man's gift of politeness. The devil is so often in the details. ;)

[joansnix]

As a child and young adult, I was brought up to show respect to others and one was to open a door for ladies and those who were elderly or disabled. This included gentlemen as well. Very often I have a friendly debate with younger and also older ladies about holding doors open. As a I am now a senior, I meet some very polite young ladies who insist on holding doors open for me Sometimes we have a friendly banter of "After you" "No! after you" "No! No! after you" etc! This reminds me of the Laurel and Hardie sketch when after several lines like that they both went together through the door and got stuck in the opening!!

[Lorileah]

Trivia question: What is one situation where the male is supposed to precede the female through the door?

booby traps? Sandworms? Haunted houses?

[pamela7]

no, it's "into the church" - for the marriage

[Eryn]

booby traps? Sandworms? Haunted houses?

Elevators!

I suppose the logic is that the man should ascertain the safety of the elevator before allowing the woman to enter. It is, of course, a vestigial rule, much as having the man walk between the woman and the street.

Pamela had one that I hadn't considered, but in the church the man and woman aren't together until after the ceremony.