Not caring about acceptance - another angle.

[Nicole Erin]

Had a pretty good couple days. For real check this -

Got off work early yesterday, hung out with a friend I used to date (not sure where we are heading but it is good either way), then to the company Xmas party.
Today i got to sleep til noon, had a relaxing day, had a short shift scheduled with an easy assignment (basically testing my cell phone, yep, all systems go)
Real soon my child support obligation is suppose to end. I shall see how that pans out but something to look forward to.
So everything seems good in the world of Erin. Even had a good hair day. Not only that but I had on CLEAN underwear! (hopefully that comment doesn't land this thread in the CD section :heehee: )

Life must have known I was smooth sailing cause then it happened -

1/2 a block from work on my way in i was in a car wreck, someone switched lanes when right beside me. My car was not totaled but the driver door looks like a beast from hell tried to claw it's way in. Big ol holes and gouges in the door. Filed police report and all... I wonder if he was on his cell phone while driving....

So now I am wondering how or if this will effect my insurance rates. Just ONE DAY before my C.S. obligation is suppose to end. Well, there might go some of THAT saved cash.

What does this have to do with acceptance? It is like this - if life is gonna bend us over and stick it in our asses no matter what, what is the point in trying to do everything the "right"way if you are screwed either way?

People get killed for being TG. They also get killed for being clerks at a gas station late at night. Also during armed robberies when someone breaks into a house. Or for no ******* reason whatsoever like the recent San Bernardino incident. What in the hell could they have possibly done to ask for that?

People get turned down for employment for being TG. This also happens because someone isn't a suck-up or made one tiny mistake on a seemingly perfect resume. Or because of their color, age, gender (women face more discrimination.) or whatever reason you would not fit into their "culture". Or maybe you report to a boss who doesn't have 1/2 the education you do.

Some won't date TG. They also won't date anyone who does not fit into their extremely narrow standard of "perfect".

Some family members have a problem with having a TG family member. These same people would find fault in you no matter what.

So meanwhile as a TG person, you work your ass off at a job kissing asses you would rather kick, make yourself presentable as possible for a prospective partner only to be told, "Everything about you is perfect, EXCEPT...", and you talk to your family who says, "the world hates a tranny".

Tg or not, most people face the same struggles. You have one of two choices -
Stay in the closet and the world will shit on you.
Live as you damn well please and the world will shit on you.

Ok put it another way - Suppose committing some really exciting act would cost you a heavy fine. Now suppose you had to pay that fine whether or not you did the act, just because you exist. Wouldn't you rather go ahead and have some fun since you will be punished either way?

FML

[PaulaQ]

@Erin - yup, if I'm going to be punished anyway, I would absolutely do the deed were it fun.

Actually your post sums up my view of transition. My alternative to doing this was misery so terrible that I'd have ended my life rather than endure it. As long as whatever happens is better than those feelings, I'm along for the ride. If I get killed along the way in some hate crime or other misadventure? I don't care - I was a dead woman anyway when I started this. This was a surprisingly liberating point of view for me, because I find I'm not afraid of very much. (Prior to GRS, I wasn't really afraid of anything, even stuff I should've had sense enough to be afraid of. Now, I really want to live, so the fearlessness isn't quite so easy to muster.)

Note: It helped that I had a serious death wish when I started transition.

[flatlander_48]

N E:

You can only play the cards you have. If someone wanted to choose to dislike me, there are a multitude of reasons:

I am Black, bisexual, transgender, half of an interracial couple, mechanical engineer for 43 years, Professional Engineer's License holder until I didn't renew it a few years ago, holder of patents, world traveller, father of 2 (40 and 34) who are successful adults and have had no contact with the judicial system and supervisor of people from many different countries.

In the eyes of some, there is no way that I should have done the things that I have done, had the opportunities that I have had or had the experiences that I have had. In their opinion, I am not worthy. On the negative side, I have experienced discrimination, both overt and covert. I've been denied access to housing. I've been denied loans. So yes, I've been punished and I've been through some painful experiences, yet I am still here and about to retire.

There is a phrase: "Living well is the best revenge.". What I do is intended to please me and the people that I care about. For those who I don't care about, they can go and get lost as they are irrelevant to me.

DeeAnn

[Robin414]

There is a phrase: "Living well is the best revenge.". What I do is intended to please me and the people that I care about. For those who I don't care about, they can go and get lost as they are irrelevant to me.

DeeAnn

Absolutely DeeAnn! Oh, I can't stand mechanical engineers either, electrical all the way �� ... LOL ��

[Michelle789]

Some family members have a problem with having a TG family member. These same people would find fault in you no matter what.

Sounds just like my father. He always found fault not only with me, but with my brothers, mom, and with the whole world. Basically, everyone that is not him. Everyone that doesn't meet his standards of perfection, which is basically him.