breaking the barrier between male and female

[JanePeterson]

Good evening!

Still new to the forum, and I cant say thank you enough for all the wonderful advice and support.

I have always been an "episodic" dresser, with the episodes becoming less and less frequent as I have grown older... until very recently when I felt compelled to tell my SO about my "habits". While being one of the most scary and possibly risky things I have done, the reveal went really well, and now my SO and I are exploring "Jane" and figuring out where she fits in our lives....

That being said - has anyone else who has shared their desires and found acceptance/tolerance felt a major change in their state of mind/personality?

I feel like I've uncovered a huge part of myself that was locked away.. and now she is HERE... to the point where I'm a bit concerned about slipping into a fem voice/ attitude at work (this would NEVER have happened before)! I also have experienced feelings of guilt for being judgemental of others while living in denial of my own nature (I wasn't a jerk or anything, but my "male side" would occasionally label or judge folks for their quirks)

I feel a bit sheepish sharing all this on a forum - i am sure many of you have heard/been thru these types of stories a thousand times - i really cant begin to express how happy/relieved i am to have found a group of folks willing to listen and relate to these experiences.

thank you all so much!

Love,

Jane

[Laura912]

"That being said - has anyone else who has shared their desires and found acceptance/tolerance felt a major change in their state of mind/personality? "

Perhaps not so much a change in state of mind or personality but a relaxation of the self imposed barriers to letting too much out, especially prior to retirement when a professional persona was absolutely necessary. Now, nails are longer, eyebrows definitely more arched, etc. All humans tend to be judgmental, so feeling a little guilt may be good for you but of course, you are not alone. A little more age on ones self, also, decreases the tendency to be judgmental. It will be interesting to see to where your personal slope lets you slide!

[kittie60]

Its interesting how some SO's handle things and others don't. I know it must've been quite a shock,but the upside is atleast your working together to see where you (Jane) fits in. I had the same situation but she didn't want anything more to do with it. Funny thing is she still wants to borrow a dress or skirt occasionally. Good luck and best wishes on the out come. Oh, another funny thong,your name is the same as my SO. Funny thing.

[Rachael Leigh]

Jane so glad your reveal worked out so well but be cautious and go slow, my wife really has never embraced Leigh she does tolerate but unfortunately I've allowed Leigh to much freedom, now like you it has made me feel free to let this part of me out but sometimes it can cause difficulty with your most important relationship.
I wish you well as you explore
Leigh

[JanePeterson]

not sure how this plays into things.... but one of the "unique" features of our marriage is that we almost NEVER have sex - my wife is almost completely abstinate (some medical issues cause sex to be painful) so over the years weve become a couple of monks... i think this may be part of why my "intro" went so well, as it didnt really impact our intimate life?

[Maria 60]

Sorry to hear about your wife, hope she feels better soon. I told my story here a thousand times but its worth repeating. The day before I married I threw all my things out to begin a new life, back from our honeymoon the very first morning back to work she went out first and there I was putting on her pantyhose already. I was so disappointed with myself and realized that this wasn't going away and decided I wasn't going to live another day as a fugitive. That same night I told her everything, from the first time I put on my sisters pantyhose to that morning that I put on hers. It was a big weight off my shoulders but surprisingly my traditional Italian wife didn't go back to her mother crying that she married a fag. I took a very big chance, she asked me a few questions and we agreed to a few terms and surprisingly she told me she didn't want me strenching her things so we went out and she bought me pantyhose and my first bra. For the first time in my life I felt as if there was nothing wrong with me, I was normal. That was thirty years ago, still our secret and she is very sopportive and will do anything for me. Until I joined here I thought all women excepted it because my wife didn't blink an eye when I told her and maybe took her for granted before I started reading bad stories here. It's strange how many stories I've read here ended with different reactions when they told there wifes. For me my wife calls it a blessing and believes we have a open relationship because of the dressing. Take things slow and don't push it and I'm sure all will be well and hope your wife gets well soon and hope I didn't bore you.

[MissDanielle]

Telling friends that I'm trans has been freeing. Not being allowed to completely dress due to living with my parents, not so much.

[Jenniferathome]

...
That being said - has anyone else who has shared their desires and found acceptance/tolerance felt a major change in their state of mind/personality? ...

Are you sure that some or much of this is not simply because you are no longer hiding? The removal of the proverbial 10 ton weight changed me.

[Kandi Robbins]

Absolutely it will change your life! As Jenn stated, you are no longer hiding something, so your attitude is going to change and since that part of you isn't hidden, it will become part of your every day life. That certainly was true for me. Also, that simple act of acceptance, really unconditional love, is so affirming! What I hope you'll see is that now you can tap all of the best of you and it will make you a better person. It certainly did that for me and I could not be happier about it.

[Karen RHT]

Are you sure that some or much of this is not simply because you are no longer hiding? The removal of the proverbial 10 ton weight changed me.

Yup...the removal of that weight changed me as well.

[JanePeterson]

So this experience is still new... and I think I agree that the "no longer hiding" feeling is what has prompted my new found feelings of liberation. I know I am lucky in that my SO is onboard, but dealing with my hidden self has been a transformative experience so far, and I feel more free than I ever have before!