First time underdressing with a bra

[EllieMayxxx]

Sorry if this thread is similar to another but i need some help.
As some of you may know, I live with my parents and they know nothing about me crossdressing. I have worn panties under my jeans for about a week and they haven't noticed anything. I feel like it isn't enough and I want to wear what I love the most, which is a bra. I have looked in the mirror while wearing one under a t shirt and a jumper. I can see the adjusters and some of the strap. Im not sure what to do to hide it more? I want to wear them all the time and its hard when i cant. Also if I just go for it I don't want my parents to see that im wearing a bra because I don't want all the questions and arguments.

Charlotte x

[Martina]

Charlotte, A lot of factors can help you hide that you are wearing a bra, I also live in the UK and as it is quite cold outside at the moment then the more clothes layers that you put on the less likely your under wear will be seen by others.
Depends how warm the house is kept, how you normally dress around the house.
We tend to be looking to close at ourselves thinking that a bra strap can be seen by others when in reality it is just our self consciousness that is at a high.
Hope this helps, just overcome the fear that everyone is looking at you to closely and you will be fine.

Martina

[EllieMayxxx]

I understand. In the mirror i was definitely trying to look for the strap and when I found them it was obvious to me. I think i am being a little paranoid. What do i do if they ask?

[Martina]

The best answer is to say well I was curios to understand what it felt like to wear a bra, and now that I've worn one I have to say that I like how it hugs me and makes me feel good inside.
Your mother will understand more than your father, just say it's something I have been wondering about for sometime and try to be open in you thoughts.
You may get a few questions but that is up to you how you feel about it all.

Good Luck

Martina

[EllieMayxxx]

Thank you. I appreciate it.

[Tami Joy]

Djono you have to be who you our an if they do fine out its okay they made me mad at first but in time they will understand. I know cause when my parents found out my mom was okay with it but took my dad some time to understand we had many talks but in the end it worked out.Remember we have to please ourselves. Good luck with the outcome.

[EllieMayxxx]

Thanks Tami. x

[chelyann]

try a sports bra or the AHH bra , they look like men's sleeveless tee shirts under shirts

[deebra]

DJono, tell your parents (only if they find out) that you don't know why but you are drawn to girls, how they act and look and the clothes they wear and would like to try the clothes and see how it feels to kinda be one and where it takes you. It hurts no one and it is a private experiment meaning it affects just you. So please give me my space and allow me to see if this is for me.

[Sarah Beth]

As someone else suggested try a sports bra that's what I wear when I got out to work in the winter time most often. Not my favorite type of bra to wear but found when wearing other bras, with what I do, I had to fight keeping the straps in place a lot.

[Janet Bern]

Hi Girls
I found the most comfortable bras and Panties I have ever worn
I took suggestions from here to try Olga "without a stitch" briefs yesterday.
I also purchased the new Bali Crop Top comfort revolution bras.
I went to Belk and tried on the bras for correct size and couldn't leave
without looking at the panties, so I bought some Olga briefs.
you can wear the bras underdressing and feel great in the panties.
Couldn't wait to pass this on
Janet

[MissDanielle]

I wear a Hanes Get Cozy pullover bra. It's comfortable but since it is blue, I can't wear it under lighter clothing. I wear two layers over it. I'm waiting for the rest of my Hanes orders to come in so that I can start wearing more than one bra.

[Sara Jessica]

If you aren't prepared to own it when your bra is detected, it is best that you not do so.

[Deedee Skyblue]

Hi, Charlotte,

Be careful about the panties. If you bend over and your shirt rides up, oops! I agree with the suggestion about a sports bra, they are very comfortable. But you also need to be careful about the colors - many people don't realize that, for example, a white bra can show through a white shirt... Also, the multiple layers idea is good, but if your boobs stick out at all, a bulky sweater often does exactly the opposite of concealing - your boobs tent it out, and then it hangs straight down away from your body making it obvious that something under the sweater if pushing it out like that!

;)

Deedee

[Krisi]

The chance of you living in the same house with your parents and wearing a bra and panties every day without them eventually finding out are very slim. You not only have to conceal them when you're wearing them, you have to hide them when you're not and you will eventually have to wash and dry them.

Ahh Bras, Genie Bras and the like are less noticeable than standard bras because they have no hooks or adjusters but they still show under a T shirt. Remember, your parents will be much closer to you than strangers out in public. Also, once you've worn a bra for a few hours, your skin will show the outline of the bra for a few more hours.

I won't tell you what to do but I do want to make you aware of what's likely to happen so you can be prepared.

[Rhonda Jean]

I underdressed with a bra and panties for a long time. I get it. Believe me. However...

I don't know how old you are, but if you're dependent on your parents you should tread lightly. You know them better than anybody, and if you think they'd react badly, that's probably right. If they're OK with other things like long hair, pierced ears, and nail polish, then maybe they'd be OK. A bra is over the top for a lot of people though. As far as panties, there's no way anybody would ever know if you're wearing panties under your jeans. They might catch you some other way, but not by noticing them.

Not to be harsh, but if not getting to wear a bra is the biggest problem in your life, count yourself very lucky. I'd advise against it. Get your own place and do what you want. I have a son, and dealt with this with him on a minor level. Even with me, long hair, earrings, nail polish, panties, subtle makeup I'm fine with (not to indicate that all those things came up). But, even I would have a problem with him wearing a bra in public. Just wait till you move out and you can indulge yourself to your heart's content.

[EllieMayxxx]

I have read through all of your comments and I think that i will only wear a sports bra or an ahh bra when i get them. So for now i will probably have to not wear one unless i am alone. If everything goes the way i want hopefully i will be living on my own in 12-18 months. So i will just have to wait until i can fully be me.

[Tomara]

Hi DJono,

I certainly do understand what you are going through as I was at that place in my life at one time too .
I'm sure you are probably scared to tell anyone about your cross-dressing and I also know that it isn't any easy thing to talk about but I would recommend you muster up the courage to sit down with your parents and tell them how you're feeling and the importance of this aspect of your life , if you do you will find it feels like a ton of weight lifted off your shoulders and my bet would be that even if they don't fully understand they will still love you .
Chances are your mom already knows , mom's have a sixth sense about those kinds of things , I know I thought I had the best hiding places in the world but my mom still found them , yes more than once .

Good luck to you .

[EllieMayxxx]

Hi Tomora, i will try and talk to them after Christmas and New Years is out of the way. I think my mum knows but i am only about 65% sure. I have wanted to tell them in the past but I didn't because i was too scared to, I thought how would they understand when I don't fully understand why i do this. Thank you.

[MissDanielle]

Do any of us really understand? My parents think I want to be a girl. It's not that I want to, it's that I already am on the inside.

[Tomara]

Even if you talk to your mom first I may help you to be more comfortable to explain what you know you feeling , just be honest with her , you could start out by saying you'd like to talk to her about something that you are scared to talk about and go from there .
I certainly understand how confusing it can be to your position , you probably feel like you should be just a boy but dressing and feeling girly is where you really feel comfortable , it may help to talk to a gender therapist if you can , I did several years ago and doing so changed my life for the better in many ways , self acceptance and confidence are two things that can really help you to feel better about your whole self .
Wish you all the best , hugs to you .

[Lily Catherine]

You share a greater degree of intimacy with your parents than with the average person you interact with and thus are in a sufficiently vulnerable position. I've been in a similar spot as well and empathise with the conflicts you describe: dressing vs. Fear of others reactions, and hiding vs. coming out.

It wouldn't be in the best interests of you and your family to keep it in secrecy; it was never a matter of 'if' but "when" you'll get caught, so perhaps it may bring you greater relief to speak to them rather than having them eventually out you. Even though you may feel that you don't fully understand the why and how you crossdress, know that none of us do. Perhaps talking about your feelings would be a good starting point whether she finds you out or you tell her yourself.

[MissDanielle]

I echo the comments about seeing a gender therapist. I repressed who I was for so many years before finally being able to admit to myself that I'm really a girl on the inside. It was the best acting job ever :)

When you read and write as much trans fiction as I have, it shows how serious my gender issues were but I just wasn't girl enough to admit it. See what I did there ;)

Just know that I feel for you and empathize with you because I am in the same boat right now, except I am out to my parents but they still don't understand why.

[HelenR2]

AHH bras are great but you need a little weight in them, forms are fine, or they will ride up. One more thing.... digital video cameras, even the cheap 'sports' cameras, often have the amazing ability to see through tops. You might wear a black T-shirt over a light coloured bra and it will be invisible but video yourself, and play it back, and the bra can stand out bright and clear. Guess how I know this.

[EllieMayxxx]

I have found out that nfl ahirts are so good for hiding them and you don't need a jumper! That is great because when the heating is on it gets too hot

[Teresa]

Charlotte,
I think you may be a little paranoid , you are far more aware of them than can be seen, obviously if you wear one too tight you can see where the main bra strap is restricting your body and leaves the tell tale ridge of skin. If you wear one every day, you will be less conscious of it and other people will just get use to it.
Please don't do what I did and forget to take out the booster pads, I realised walking down my high street the attention I was getting and another occasion I was stopped by a group of policemen while walking the dog after an incident at a local young offenders centre. One of them had most of his conversation with my chest, I nearly wrote to Wonderbra to tell them how well they work !

[EllieMayxxx]

Sometimes I think i am a little paranoid, I have been wearing one for 4 days now and i am getting more comfortable being around the house and not just wearing them in my room. I don't have any pads so it won't be having any incidents like that. I almost dropped my glass when you said you almost wrote to wonderbra :heehee:

[MissDanielle]

I've been wearing mine all the time since this past Monday night. Sometimes, I forget I am even wearing one until I change for bed.

[Angie G]

If your thinking of living with your parents for some time you may want to tell them. Or you could just miserablefor as long as your there Charlotte.Just a thought hun.:hugs:
Angie

[EllieMayxxx]

I have been trying to build up the courage to tell my parents for a few weeks now. I am hoping to be out in the next couple of months.

[Tracii G]

I used to worry about my bra showing and a girl i knew gave me this idea.
Keep in mind I was pretty overweight and had big boy man boobs at the time.
She was a nurse and she suggested a sports bra to hold them in place and if anyone mentioned anything to me about wearing a bra then tell them is was your Dr's suggestion.
Sooo you could say your man boobs if you have them get irritated sometimes and you needed some support and you saw the suggestion online so you tried it and it helped.
Mom would get that but Dad might not but he would get over it.

[EllieMayxxx]

Good idea Tracii, I have been looking at getting a sports bra and already have a couple on my wish list.

[Bruce64]

Depending on where you live, I live in Toronto and its freezing here, had you been here you can wear a bra and no one would know. If the cups are small say size A, you can hide it easily, there are some really nice athletic bras I have seen, that I can wear and no one would even notice, hey be brave.