How does that make you feel?

[LisaKarenAZ]

In one of the recent discussions between my wife and I about my crossdressing activities, she pointed a question at me that honestly caught me off guard without a clear answer.

When talking about me dressing up fully, she asked me "How does that make you feel when you are all dressed up?"

I couldn't honestly think of a way to describe the feeling, other than "I feel feminine and calmed.".

How would, or have, you answered this question?

[Gabby6790]

Very hard to describe but.... calm, right, happy, sexy.

[MissDanielle]

Like I'm being my authentic self.

[CourtneyBme]

Calm, happy, care free, beautiful

[Tracii G]

More like I feel I should be.

[Maria 60]

I probably would have taking the Tony the Tiger route, feels greeeeaaat!

[MssHyde]

Right now my answer would be "complete"

[Closeted Kat]

I had a similar question asked of me when i started to see a therapist for the first time a week ago. I had the same answer as many of you that i typically feel calm, peaceful, and sometimes sexy

[Jen60]

When I'm fully dressed is one of the few times I feel real joy and contentment.

[Genny B]

At peace with myself and loving it! Everything feels like this is the way it should be!

Genny B

[Demi88]

I probably would have taking the Tony the Tiger route, feels greeeeaaat!

Wife would love that answer:)

[irene9999]

I feel like I'm letting a side of me that is repressed out in the open

[Pat]

In another thread on the same topic someone observed that it felt like they had stopped lying. That resonated with me. To me, it feels like I had been telling a long, complex, convoluted lie that I was struggling to keep track of. And when crossdressed it feels like I'm finally telling the truth. Nice feeling.

Although it's a good metaphor for the relief I feel when crossdressing, I don't feel like I actually am lying in life, though, I just feel more like I'm not telling a whole truth. Sorta like I'm grudgingly going along with telling kids that Santa Claus is real. I know it's not true, but I know it's important for them to believe it is. ;)

[Patty's panties]

Pretty.


Peace....

[Rachael Leigh]

Happiness is what I feel

[grace7777]

I feel like me.

[paulaprimo]

i would have answered like this... ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJL4UGSbeFg

:daydreaming:

[Raychel]

It just feels right.

when I look in the mirror in Guy Mode, I really dislike what I see.
When I dress and look in the mirror it is just right.

[Angela Marie]

Calmness, serenity, contentment. My true self.

[Glendy]

I know I'm not a women, but when I'm completely dressed I no longer feel manly, I feel like a woman and that makes me calm and happy while dressed and I love that feeling.

[Claire Cook]

I relate to everything you've all said, thanks!

[alwayshave]

I feel pretty.

[Trish]

I feel normal and comfortable, when dressed.

[CarlaWestin]

Oh my! How about every previous answer. I would just be blown away if my wife asked me that question. I'm trying to delicately thaw the DADT but, discussion is rare.
I would probably just say, "I feel wonderful when I'm dressed!"

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lisa Karen :hugs:, It just makes me feel so feminine and relaxed. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[IamWren]

My take is a little different from "calm, authentic, right, true self..."
No, I like an actor who has stepped into the role of Sayyidah. I feel pretty, I feel softer in her femininity. I feel younger and powerful with her curves and attractiveness. It's a fun, exciting feeling.

[Karen RHT]

The one word that I've always used is "natural." Hearing that reply, everyone who actually knows me just shake their head in disbelief.


Karen

[crobeson96]

Camilla is not me. I leave a lot behind when I'm dressed. There's not a lot of pressure on her to fulfill the expectations of others, there's only her to please. She feels pretty and feminine and desirable. Sometimes (a lot) she feels aroused. There is a shell full of calm and rightness inside which is a sweet, sharp pleasure of the forbidden and the fear of being caught and humiliated. Maybe every time she feels aroused. As I've written before, I feel my being move lower in my body to a place I normally do not sense, to where a uterus and ovaries would reside. This is what they call a visceral feeling, very elemental and exquisitely natural. That's a lot for some pretty undies and a dress, a bit of lipstick and mascara, isn't it?
When it's time, afterward, I undress, another special and feminine time, but I do not feel regret or sorrow, just calm and satisfaction. I'm so meticulous and prim in folding things, my hands slide across the fabric, knowing we'll meet again. Removing makeup - yuck, though!

[Georgina]

I feel aglow.

[Krisi]

Many of these answers given are answers that should not be given to one's wife. Remember, in her eyes, you are supposed to be a man. Saying dressing makes you feel feminine is probably not good for your marriage or her acceptance of your dressing.

So how do I feel? I can't explain it. The closest I can come is post#26 above, an actor stepping into a part.

[donnalee]

Normal!!!!

[Judith96a]

OK, This is from the perspective of an occasional cross-dresser who would like :-

To not have to hide his crossdressing from his wfie - please no lectures on that!
More opportunity to crossdress (but nothing even close to full time)

To answer the original question... Happy, pretty, like I'm on vacation from the pressures, expectations etc. of being "the male me". In short, it's fun.
As for whether any of that is something that you shouldn't admit to your wife if you want to stay married? I don't know about that. It's not as if I want to stop being the masculine man that she married, just take a short break from that role now and then.
I can identify with Sayyidah - the idea of being an actor playing a role, perhaps like taking a step sideways from my normal life for a while.

[Sky]

Let's see.. unhappy about my hair. Worried that I'll lose a fake nail if I bump into anything. Anxious to find a mirror. Unable to effectively use my phone (those damn nails again!) Anxious to find a mirror. Puzzled about the allegedly permanent lipstick (where did it go? And if it's permanent, how come the glass I'm drinking from is all red?) And in pain after walking in heels for hours. Oh, and where is that @#$% mirror?

Oh yes, isn't crossdressing great? :rofl:

[Lena]

At ease and satisfied. I feel like an artist that made something beautiful out of something ugly.
Probably the same way she felt when she first dressed up or pierced her ears or put on makeup.

[MarciManseau]

Special, perfect, happy, content, properly me, aligned with my mind, sexy, but then as I'm full time, I'm sort if used to it also. It never seems to get old though. :battingeyelashes:

[Cheryl James]

I feel relaxed and complete when dressed as my true self.

[Saikotsu]

Generally, it feels...correct. It feels right. Hard to describe it really.

[Natasha V]

I feel Totally at peace and stress free with my mind in total bliss.

[Cheryl T]

I would have to go with MssHyde's answer of Complete.
I wouldn't know how else to explain how I feel.

[JaimeCD]

It makes me feel incredibly calm. Really can't think of a better word to express it. I am generally a big ball of stress and tension and when I get dressed it goes away.

[sometimes_miss]

When I'm dressed as a girl, I feel normal. When I'm dressed as a guy, I feel like I'm wearing a costume, playing the part of a standard issue guy. There's always the feeling like I should be wearing something else.
The best way I can explain it, is, imagine you're at a formal event. Everyone else is dressed in Tux's or evening gowns. But you're wearing a bathing suit. Sure, it might even be a gender appropriate bathing suit. Even if no one else says anything and doesn't even bat an eye, you're still going to feel uncomfortable because deep down inside, you know you're really supposed to be wearing something else. That's how I feel whenever I'm dressed as a guy. When I'm dressed as a girl, that uncomfortable feeling disappears, and I just feel normal.

My ex asked me the same question. At the time, I didn't have the long winded explanation for her. Instead, I asked her how she felt wearing what she was wearing at that time. She said 'What do you mean?'. I said exactly. I feel the same way you do. Normal. For me there's no sexual kick to it.

[Janine cd]

When I'm dressed, I feel like I should feel all the time. I'm calm, relaxed and truly happy.

[docrobbysherry]

Different. I'm someone else------. I don't know who exactly.

It's exciting to become female!

[Jonni Lin]

I wear polish all the time even at work but when I dress even if it is just having the girls on, I feel whole. One thing that I can truly say is since I came to terms with this, I love myself and everything about me before, not at all.

[Sharon B.]

Just about like everyone else; Calm, enjoyable, feeling wonderful and natural and just right.

[AbigailJordan]

If it had to be answered in one word.. that word would be "normal"

At the end of the day, the clothes I wear do not make me who I am. I have always said that I'd prefer a world where I could express my feminine side without issue. I'm lucky in that I'm pretty much in that place, I go out most days with my fingernails painted, I wear blingy earrings, and except for work (damn gender specific dress codes), my wardorbe is almost exclusively female. I can visit any of my friends wearing a skirt or dress if I wish, whether in guy mode or fully en femme.

I just got tired of gender specific clothing ideals and decided I don't wish to adhere to "male" dress codes any more than absolutely necessary.

[CynthiaD]

The best one-word answer is "normal."

I dress a lot. Several hours every day, day, often all day. Most of the time I don't think about what I'm wearing, it's just my clothes. In fact, my attitude toward dressing could most often be described as "indifferent." So much so that I sometimes ask myself why I bother. If it's this "uninteresting" why not just wear male clothing? But whenever I start thinking this way, I immediately know the answer. Female clothing, interesting or not, is correct. Male clothing is icky and weird. Male clothing is something I wear because I have to, not because I want to. I have a closet full of female clothing, with a few male items stuck off in a corner. The female items are my clothes. The male items are like a set of coveralls you put on before working on the car. It's not really clothing per se, it's just something you wear out of necessity.

I don't wear male clothing for the same reason I don't go around everywhere in greasy coveralls. It would be inappropriate. And weird.

[IamWren]

Let's see.. unhappy about my hair. Worried that I'll lose a fake nail if I bump into anything. Anxious to find a mirror. Unable to effectively use my phone (those damn nails again!) Anxious to find a mirror. Puzzled about the allegedly permanent lipstick (where did it go? And if it's permanent, how come the glass I'm drinking from is all red?) And in pain after walking in heels for hours. Oh, and where is that @#$% mirror?
Oh yes, isn't crossdressing great? :rofl:
Ha ha ha ha! I'm afraid if I went out I'd be checking myself in the mirror or window reflection every two minutes. People would think I was a narcissist.


To answer the original question... Happy, pretty, like I'm on vacation from the pressures, expectations etc. of being "the male me". In short, it's fun.
As for whether any of that is something that you shouldn't admit to your wife if you want to stay married? I don't know about that. It's not as if I want to stop being the masculine man that she married, just take a short break from that role now and then.
I can identify with Sayyidah - the idea of being an actor playing a role, perhaps like taking a step sideways from my normal life for a while.
Thanks for the shout out Judith. I feel the same way about putting the pressure and expectations of being male. Maybe that's what causes the calm feeling? And I agree I don't want to stop being the guy who opens up stuck jars or lifts heavy things for my wife but I know my circumstances and I couldn't come out to her right now.


At ease and satisfied. I feel like an artist that made something beautiful out of something ugly. Ooooh... I like that concept, 'like an artist that has made something beautiful.'


The best way I can explain it, is, imagine you're at a formal event. Everyone else is dressed in Tux's or evening gowns. But you're wearing a bathing suit.

The best one-word answer is "normal." The female items are my clothes. The male items are like a set of coveralls you put on before working on the car. It's not really clothing per se, it's just something you wear out of necessity. I don't wear male clothing for the same reason I don't go around everywhere in greasy coveralls. It would be inappropriate. And weird.
These are really good analogies for me to understand how many of the members of the forum say they feel 'right' or 'normal' wearing female clothes. I think I get it now.

[Ms. Laura]

This is a dangerous question to answer, choose your words carefully!

[Brandy Mathews]

Very well said Sue, I feel the same.
Hugs,
Bree :)

[Angie G]

More at peace with the world. But especially my little part of it.:hugs:
Angie-

[Sarasometimes]

I'm with Carla in more than one way, DADT, too.
More at peace, less stressed, free, validated and femininish!

[Sky]

Ha ha ha ha! I'm afraid if I went out I'd be checking myself in the mirror or window reflection every two minutes. People would think I was a narcissist.

Aren't we all?

Seriously.

[Katey888]

Narcissistic...? Seriously..? :doll: Many of us - but not all, I think... :)

There are some interesting answers and non-answers here - but I appreciate it's a tough one for some of us to answer... It is for me and I've thought about it a LOT!

Two things stand out for me: It feels right and it's also a feeling of release - escape... I should add that I don't feel at all wrong as a guy either and THAT is the dichotomy that some of us struggle with: having two modes (or more) that all feel 'right' at the time - similar to Judith's answer in many ways and while I may try to have fun with it, I don't do it for fun... :thinking:

Demonstrates our diversity here again... :)

Katey x

[mikayla1964]

I guess I would have to say it makes me feel like me..

[baldy1]

My answer when asked that question one time was comfortable, she said thats worrying the fact you are comfortable in womens clothes. thats rich as i sit here in my A-Line dress, white heeled sandles and painted toe nails.

Julie

[LexiNexi]

Why does it calm alot of people? I noticed this too, but I have almost an anxiety disorder.

[ashleyjane15]

I feel sexy at first but then it turns into a HUGE self esteem boost. I feel better about myself. More confident. I can't really explain it more than that.

[Sky]

Narcissistic...? Seriously..? :doll: Many of us - but not all, I think... :)

I didn't mean it as a critic, more as a "honest with oneself" statement, including myself for sure. Most of us are quite conscious of our physical image, right? Well, so was Narcissus...

[Jamiegirl1]

all of the above, calm,happy,true me,pretty,relaxed,softer,feels right,and so on

[Sarah Doepner]

When I'm dressed;

I feel Better
I feel Authentic
I feel Right
I feel not naked
I feel unburdened
I feel like I'm doing something right

[Brandy Mathews]

Feminine, calmed, sexy, softer, pretty, the real me.
Hugs,
Bree :)

[SuzyZahn]

Relaxed mentally, soft and at ease physically,feeling sexy emotionally!! yea,,,thats it:)

[Lily Catherine]

Solely at ease. Maybe a little sweaty unfortunately, but still relaxed and carefree. Unless I'm wearing a massive gown. In which case the relief is entirely mental.

[Robin777]

It relieves my stress and helps me feel better about myself.

[Sc0rp10N]

I feel sexy, fun, different, somewhat calm, but the biggest thing, which is both calming and anxiety causing is that I feel VULNERABLE. Not in a VICTIM kind of way, but in an emotional, spiritual and sexual kind of way. But I don't really have a NATURAL or NORMAL type of experience because this is and always will be a temporary character or personality for me. It isn't WHO I AM, it's who I have fun pretending to be for a short time.

I like that we all seem to have very varying degrees of crossdressing in our lives, but sometimes I feel like there is a consensus in this forum that seems to indicate that a lack of deep transgender leaning is less authentic in some way. I've gone through many of the same types of situations as some in here, my wife telling me to throw everything out once, etc. The feeling of not being normal, the denial, the search for identity, luckily, a lot of that passed quickly. The most important thing was that I came to the conclusion that I was comfortable with me. Very comfortable being a very occasional cross dresser, who is not ready to go out into the world dressed, but may be someday, and my wife has come around too, bought me two dresses in the last two weeks. All I'm saying is to remember and appreciate our varying degrees vs assuming everyone logging on has a girl inside. Having said that, I DO have a girl inside, but she's only in my brain, not in my heart.

[S. Lisa Smith]

Pretty, fun, different and happy!!!

[Kelly63]

My wife asked me why I dressed and could not answer right away because I had never thought about why. I answered a few days later that it just made me happy and that's all