A thick hide

[reb.femme]

On Saturday evening, my local group TransPALS had a Christmas dinner, which went down very well. I drank a fair bit (read lots) and enjoyed the evening, until I got into the taxi, whereupon I formulated my New Year's resolution.I must work ultra hard on my presentation. Even though wearing a knee length skirt, a soft floaty top and sweet shoes, the Asian taxi driver being very polite, insisted on calling me sir all the way home...and then stupid here gave him a friggin' tip. :sad:

It's a good job I've got a hide as thick as a Rhino's rear, but my New Year's wish for him is that his testicles turn square and fester in every corner. :devil:

You've got to laugh though...haven't you?

Becky

[Katey888]

C'mon Becky - we all know that some taxi drivers of a particular ancestry are blind as bats... at least justified by how they drive... ;) As I recall the one that drove the cab we shared in MK recently only grunted at me.. but it was after 2am and perhaps he just wasn't the conversational type... :thinking:

Becks - your presentation is totally fine - you're feminine, age-appropriate (IMHO - :tongueout) and should be clearly considered 'trans' of some description to the knowledgeable...

But therein lies the rub... The world is largely full of uninformed numpties (please don't confuse that for uniformed numpties - although there are probably some of them around too... :D) who do not have a CLUE about the world of transgendered, trans*, crossdressing, fluid or flexigendered folks like us - nor that we prefer to be referred to with the appropriately gendered pronoun to match how we are presenting.

Education and awareness needs to go a lot further before the mass unwashed are fully trained on how they should address us... Clearly 'your ladyship' or 'ma'am' is what we are all aspiring to... :daydreaming:

A small tip with a spot of gentle tutelage about us blokes in dresses might have been the way to go - but it's not your job to re-educate everyone out there... goodness - that would be a task!

Katey x

[ShannonDragon]

Fortunately I have never been in that situation so far, heavens know why not.

In my own opinion I don't pass that well, too tall, but I sure get madam a lot dressed male. Who figures?

[Jackie7]

Same in New York. I don't think the driver actually ever looks at you, he just hears a voice from the back, through the plastic partition. And mine is basso, no matter how I am dressed. So I forgive him. And put my attention on not leaving my purse in the cab, and not tripping on the way out.

[Sky]

The world is largely full of uninformed numpties... who do not have a CLUE about the world of transgendered, trans*, crossdressing, fluid or flexigendered folks like us

I think that's a little harsh.

The cultural standards of the leading Western nations, say the US and the UK, are not universal. Yes the Asian cabbie works here (I mean there in the UK, I'm in the US), but he brings his own culture with him and can't shed it off just like that. He sees a genetic male and calls him sir: I would laugh at it, as Becky -who looks great BTW- did. I personally would draw the "acceptability" line at a universal insult, something that carries a clear demeaning content and is used on purpose without any doubt.

It might help that I'm a foreigner -so I've witnessed many things that are simply different in other cultures, not necessarily better or worse, and I don't put much weight on it.

[Karen RHT]

I'm still laughing Becky. Thanks for that.


Karen

[Jenniferathome]

Becky, I think cause for upset happens if it is being done on purpose, rather than simple ignorance. It's possible that he just doesn't know the rules. Certainly it's not worth another thought. YOU are out and about. YOU are living the dream.

[Victoria Demeanor]

Cute story Becky, so glad you got out, had fun and a feeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww cocktails.
I wouldn't really take this to personally, great curse by the way (part Gypsy by any chance?).
You did though overlook you real opportunity. I would have gotten out at my stop, handed him the fare and tip and said thank you very much for the ride Miss!...:laughing:.

[kittie60]

To me its nothing to get upset about, chalk it up to one of those events that happen
You enjoyed yourself and thats all that matters. But I do like the curse you used. That was funny.

[gokatiegirl]

I bet the guy never looked at you. There is one thing we cannot hide, our voice.

[reb.femme]

Hi All,

Honestly, I wasn't insulted by said driver and it did make me laugh. He saw me walk from the pub door toward the front of his car but a geezer is a geezer to him I suppose, skirt or not. My post was purely tongue in cheek and a life observation...the rotten bar steward (or something like that.) :) It would take more than a comment to dent my confidence, I'm heaven in heels in my eyes. :battingeyelashes:

I don't get upset by such happenings, hence I gave him a tip. It was though, like a Saturday drive with Lewis Hamilton, trying to get his fastest lap time in to qualify for pole on the grid. Boy was he erratic!

As to Katey's age appropriate (shouts -"AGE APPROPRIATE"!). :eek: I hope not! During the evening, I had one vodka and orange and half a pint of lager each time I was buying (just to keep me hydrated you understand), so I was in a jolly state anyway...glory. I kept one of our number lubricated too as she is self-employed and off of work due to having had SRS a month back, so the night cost me an arm and a leg, but you can't take it with you.

Becky

[bimini1]

You and your "thick hide" are an inspiration. Yes you better get some thick skin out here and let it roll off of you. Because there is always going to be folks who won't get it. Strangers yes, but I was with some family a few days ago who unleashed a transphobic diatribe in my presence. I felt about 1 cm tall then I said to myself wait a minute, everyone is entitled to own opinion. But I can have my own opinion too.

[Barbara Jo]

FWIW...
Taxi divers have seen it all and nothing fazes them.
Having had some close friends in the past who were taxi drivers, I can tell you that the only things they really care about is.....
1) You don't rob or harm them.
2) You give them a good tip.

Having said that, I doubt that the driver in question was trying to disrespect you in any way.
He most likely had no idea what to call you so he just went with he thought was the least offensive (for a good tip).
Keep in mind that he has most likely seen it all and this includes every shade of gray of CDs, drag queens, gays, etc.
In fact, some drag queens prefer to be called "sir" as they are not trying to pass as a real woman but, a caricature of one.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Becky,
Being referred to as sir while being a single passenger
in a cab wouldn't be that big of a deal to me.
It's possible he was doing it to get under your skin, the only way
you'll ever know is to ask him why he said it.
The conversation at that point may have either saved you some of the
cash you offered as a tip, or you may have had a chance to educate the guy.

Sounds like when all was said and done, you had another great night
out. Thanks for sharing your adventures!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Krisi]

It hurts to be called "sir" when you've gotten all dolled up but on the bright side, it saves you the trouble of asking someone if you passed.

It's a sign that you need to work harder on your presentation. You already know that.

[Teresa]

Becky,
You could have just asked him if he'd been to Specsavers recently ?
Rather worryingly they now do hearing tests as well ! Not a very comforting thought that your taxi driver can't hear or see very well and now he's going to get square testicles from Santa, poor guy hasn't got much going for him has he ?

[sometimes_miss]

It hurts to be called "sir" when you've gotten all dolled up but on the bright side, it saves you the trouble of asking someone if you passed.
and

Having said that, I doubt that the driver in question was trying to disrespect you in any way. He most likely had no idea what to call you so he just went with he thought was the least offensive
^this mostly. He didn't call you 'mac' or 'joe'. He used 'sir'. As there is no gender neutral title to refer to someone he just referred to what he considered that which shows most respect. Remember, women are finicky about what they want to be called; lots bristle if they're called ma'am because they think that makes it sound as if they're old. So he ruled that out; and figured out 'miss' wasn't appropriate either. That kinda' only left one option when he had to come up with something on the spot.
Besides, I live in an area where we come across many cultures; and very often, even the female doctors get called 'sir' by those who aren't very good at English. They kind of think it's funny when they hear it.
Unless your driver was speaking in a sarcastic tone when he said it, I'm sure he wasn't trying to be mean.

[Tracii G]

Let it pass don't worry about one Asian cabbie.

[docrobbysherry]

Oh, PLEASE! We're men in dresses! Maybe 1 out 100 of us can pass consistently? :straightface:

Of course, it's politically correct for folks to, "Yes, maam", us. But, let's be serial?

If someone calling u, "Sir", ruins your day/evening, Becky? U don't have a tough hide. Maybe u don't belong out amongst the Muggles?:sad:

[ChristinaK]

Using your best feminine voice, you should have berated him for calling you sir when you are a true gg that looks manly. That would have shaken him up.

Cubic testicles? That could be a little uncomfortable!

[reb.femme]

...If someone calling u, "Sir", ruins your day/evening, Becky? U don't have a tough hide. Maybe u don't belong out amongst the Muggles?:sad:

Sherry, you obviously didn't read any further than my first few lines and didn't read my second post. Why did you feel it necessary to have a dig?

My evening wasn't ruined, as it was a tongue in cheek posting anyway. In answer to your personal dig in the last line of your post. Yes I do belong out there and save for the makeup and wig, I don't hide my real face. Touche?

[Christina Alice]

In response to Lexi's comment:
^this mostly. He didn't call you 'mac' or 'joe'. He used 'sir'. As there is no gender neutral title to refer to someone he just referred to what he considered that which shows most respect.

In Brighton (UK) run by the Greens and the gay capital of UK, they've invented a term for crossdressers/transgender : they call us 'Mixter' which I think means we're mixed up!