Do you think that the desire to CD starts in early childhood?

[LexiNexi]

I often think that Fetishes come from tramatic things that start in your childhood, like humiliation of being called girly.

Not that CD'ing is a fetish for most? I'm claustrophobic then when I was 16 and sexually active I noticed I like to be tied up. We would play as kids, 8-10 years old, and remember this kid tying up his brother when we were playing 'cops and robbers' and he was a prisoner. Scared the hell out of me. Hmmmmm

[Wen4cd]

I think a lot of them come from the magic box that constantly assaulted our young minds with and endless barrage of images, sounds, ideas, titilation, and other confusing noise.

Growing up in the TV generation, in the long run, probably was far more traumatic than it's given credit for.

[ashleyjane15]

While I tried on my first pair of panties at a very young age, my "need" to cd first manifested in my teens. Then the need went away until just recently. I don't know what THAT means but what I do know now is that I am happy with being a cd and that's all that matters.

[Kate Simmons]

Some seem to have interest in the old "helpless woman" scenario like in the old cliffhanger serials. We realized later, however, that the helpless damsel "let" the villain tie her up to get the attention of the hero.:battingeyelashes::)

[AllieSF]

Don't know but I started dressing in 2006 almost 60 years old and haven't stopped since. I can see some "possible" tell tales when I was a very small child, but zero after that. I do not care but sometimes I wonder.

[ReineD]

I often think that Fetishes come from tramatic things that start in your childhood, like humiliation of being called girly.

It doesn't even have to be traumatic. It only needs a random incident that creates a strong impression and this can be based on a myriad factors. Say there is a little boy who has a huge crush on a teacher who wears nylons and heels every day. Everything about her is fascinating and one day his hand brushes against her leg by mistake, he is amazed at the silky feel and struck with the intimacy of the incident. It becomes part of his arousal template.

Here's what Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT (licensed psychotherapist and sexuality counselor) has to say about fetishes/kinks. He describes, near the bottom, how they may be imprinted. He also mentions the possibility of seeing something on TV that is locked in the mind and eroticized at a later time:

http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/07/21/to-each-his-own-men-and-fetishes/

If you ask people who begin the CDing in later years, I'm guessing they will say they did have a fascination with women's clothes or a particular item of women's clothing for a long time even if it wasn't acted upon.

Most people who develop fetishes are men. This explains why there aren't many female crossdressers.

[Angela Marie]

I do think it begins in childhood. I remember tying on my mother's tights and loved them. She had a pair of blue ones which I fondly remember to this day lol. I have always loved tights/leggings etc. and that is my preferred mode of dress today when I go out. So it does begin in early childhood at least for me. I did not begin dressing fully until about 10 years ago. The more I dressed and began using makeup, wigs, and such the more my feminine side began to assert itself. So i'm not sure that I had a "fetish" rather a small step toward coming to grips with my gender preferences.

[LexiNexi]

How long ago was that? Mine was on until about age four to 10 then no desire Then came back at 25-26 then at 29 then at 32 (2014) until now.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi lexi:hugs:, I just turned 73 and I've ben in this program for 69yrs. now. ~~...:daydreaming:...

[Candice June Lee]

I think it does. Maybe we're born with it. But the rearing we have seems to give us the "taboo" of it. This trends to keep it hidden, not only from others but ourselves as well. It's only when we finally decide to give in on the fears and the up bringing that we do what we need to deep inside.
Just my two cents. Not much but just simply two cents.

[Suzie Petersen]

Lexi: I often think that Fetishes come from tramatic things that start in your childhood, like humiliation of being called girly.

Perhaps that is the trigger for some, but I dont think that is typical. If it was, we would hear many more stories that describe such incidents.

I started dressing up at a very young age but have no recollection of anything traumatic or similar. I had a very safe childhood in all respects so I also dont believe there could be anything my mind has suppressed.

I dont remember the specific moment of the first time anymore, I think it was just the typical story of nylons or some under garments left in the bathroom. As for triggers later on in life, it would not take much to get my mind in a tail-spin. The picture of good looking woman in a magazine, someone I would see on the street or on tv, is all it took.

- Suzie

[CarlaWestin]

For me the crossdressing enhanced the early excitement of being, ehem, subdued. Sort of damsel in distress excitement. All of these adventures seem to be enhanceable with something extra. Like damsel not in distress but, out shopping.

[sometimes_miss]

From one Lexi to another:
Again we come to address 'what is the one, true cause of crossdressing'. There isn't one, just like there's no single time frame in our lives where we suddenly want to dress like a girl. For some of us, it starts when we're two or three. For others, when we're 50. It can be something genetically influenced, or we can be conditioned into it, or it can be any combination of nurture and nature. Some of us get sexually excited by even just the simplest hint of thinking about girls clothing, others will need to get completely dressed up for it to happen. Still others get no sexual charge out of it at all!
One of the draws of bondage is that it allows us to feel as if we are being forced against our will to stay dressed up as a girl (or have sex in an unusual way, etc.), so it allows us to relieve ourselves of any guilt about us being responsible for wanting to dress up and/or behave as a girl. Whatever; if it feels good, and isn't hurting anyone else, go for it. When I was young I used to dress up and put on handcuffs, with the key having been frozen into a block of ice so that I could have the fantasy that I had to stay to stay dressed up for whatever amount of time; even though I was the one who devised this behavior, for a short period of time the decision of whether to change out of my girl clothes wasn't an option, and it felt good that i was 'stuck' as a girl. Once I realized why I felt like that, I gradually outgrew the desire for bondage. But it took a couple of decades for that desire to wear off.

[MissDanielle]

I don't know if it was a desire to CD in as much as it was that something just felt very off as I entered puberty. I had dreams and fantasies all the time and didn't know what they meant back then but now I do. I had to wait until the right age to raid the closet.

[Teri Ray]

I believe the desire or urge to crossdress is part of us at birth and the time that we actually act on those desires (or curiosity) is variable to the individual. I had the desire at a very early age and the degree I dressed changed over time.

Teri

[Tina_gm]

I didn't have young child experience with CDing. Many here have though. I think generally it is because of availability, through sisters, their friends, moms. Generally some sort of strong female influence. I didn't have much of that. So for me, it came about when I was 17 and in a bar. Suddenly, a college age girl I was admiring became I want to be her instead of I want to be with her. It was a shock for me to say the least. I couldn't believe what I was feeling even. I blamed it on alcohol, and went home. Soon after, the urge would come back in my senior year. It was all very disturbing for me at that time. I hated the feeling. I did all I could to suppress the feelings, and likely overcompensated as many here have also done. It wasn't until just 3 years ago nearly to the day that I began to really accept it all. Yes, I had CD'd on several occasions prior to that. But, never for long periods of time, and typically I would feel guilt ridden afterwords.

Had I had sisters, or a better bonding with my mother, perhaps I would have experienced it sooner. It will eventually come through one way or another.

[Sarah Louise]

I recently remembered something that suggests this started at a very young age. At about age three I had a doll. According to my mother, I had asked for it about two years old. While I don't remember this, I do remember my older brother teasing me about having a doll. I responded by acting all boyish and ripping its arms and legs off! I wonder if the desire to be girly was always there and I've just been denying this and trying fulfil society's expectation of a male every since.

[bridget thronton]

I recall wearing my babysitters high heels when I was 4 or 5

[Jenniferathome]

I can state without reservation that nothing happened to me when I was a child that was remotely traumatizing. I had the Brady Bunch life. My parents loved me and told me so every day. I was raised as the stereotypical boy: sports and dirt. I do this because it is something innate.

[Suzie Petersen]

Sarah: At about age three I had a doll. According to my mother, I had asked for it about two years old. While I don't remember this, I do remember my older brother teasing me about having a doll. I responded by acting all boyish and ripping its arms and legs off!

Good thing they didnt give you a cat!! ;)

- Suzie

[pamela7]

if wer'e looking at fetishes only, almost undoubtedly these come from imprinting through life. Even for example desires for asphyxiation can be traced to events where oxygen was withdrawn by accident during birth, or many other possible cause-times. As Reine points out, traumas are often positive experiences, they are just impressions left by life that create resonances. However, every time i feel i've "got it all figured out", something comes along to say "no you don't", and that's the rich tapestry of life. I can look back and see possible events and situations that led to my present CD desire, maybe together they all explain it, or maybe it was latent and just awaiting the right soil conditions to trigger the first shoot that became the cd flower.

[Vicky_Scot]

It starts in the womb.

It is often wrongly assumed that a person chooses to be transgender and one day decides they want to live the remainder of their life as transgender .This couldn't be further from the truth. Transgender is established sometime during pregnancy, probably in the first three months and certainly well before an individual is able to make a choice.

[Isabella Ross]

We're all born this way, or with a tendency to be this way. Case closed.

[vixenvicki]

We're all born pre-programmed with certain genetic predispositions and at some point, something may trigger one or more of them to come out. Some of us got triggered at a young age and for some, it didn't happen until later in life. I think it's just a question of at what point it started to come out and get acted upon.

[sometimes_miss]

It starts in the womb.
I guess that's one way to look at the progression into being in a closet!:lol2:

[Jazzy Jaz]

I agree with Teri Ray and others that TG/CDer is something we are born with but like a dormant (but very alive) volcano, it surfaces whenever its good and ready to surface. For some its early on and for others it may be when they're 70. Im sure theres cders who died before they got to be old and had never dressed but it was still IN them and had they lived longer it would have made its way out. As far as fetishes I feel that they are often something that is imprinted in a person, usually at a young age and then it locks in your brain. I disagree that there are significantly less female CD/TGs. Maybe specifically in the fetishistic category, but for the most part I think the varied wardrobe options open to woman now let them blend in and crossdress without crossdressing. Many of them can probably stay in the dormant stage and not really have to think about it much because their urges are somewhat already fulfilled and they may not have the same build up of energy to be released that cding men have, kinda like boiling water in a pot with the lid off as opposed to on. Like us (men), most women however are not cders and simply get to have way more options for clothing in this day and age, while the ones who do specifically enjoy the clothes in a cder way just go unnoticed and don't neccesarily even have to try and hide. They hide out in the open.

[sometimes_miss]

Like us (men), most women however are not cders and simply get to have way more options for clothing in this day and age, while the ones who do specifically enjoy the clothes in a cder way just go unnoticed and don't neccesarily even have to try and hide. They hide out in the open.
The difference lies in that women who crossdress are considered trying to elevate themselves in importance, while men who crossdress are considered lowering themselves. A woman who 'makes it' in the mans' world is considered a success; a man who makes it in the woman's world is considered a failure. What we wear, other people interpret to mean which direction we want to go in. Crossdressers are assumed by the world to be men who want to be valued for (passive) feminine beauty, not masculine (active) achievement (which is commonly equated with income, assets & status). That's basically all there is to it. I know some will argue that there are a few feminine women who are rich models and actresses who make it in the entertainment industry (such as Lucille Ball, or whoever the models are who start their own successful fashion companies), but those are not only the exceptions to the rule, but also often wind up becoming the wives of more successful men and mothers to their children. Trying to achieve and increase status by behaving as women do doesn't work for men 99.99999% of the time, where the reverse IS true nearly all of the time.

[Stephj]

For me the desire started at age 4or 5 when I used to go to the store with my mother and sister they would always find me in the lingerie section looking and feeling the bras and panties but I didn't start wearing them I till I was 8 swiped a bra from my sisters room

[Wen4cd]

My earlier opinion might have been confusing because the thread title refers to "desire to crossdress," but your post asked 'where do fetishes come from." It's apples and oranges. (I was answering for the second.)

Lexi good theory, but I dunno. I don't feel lower in status when I dress, or get a thrill from humiliation dressed. I actually feel higher in status. That could mean that I have zero self esteem in male mode, or it could mean that in my white, middle class demographic, the woman generally rules the roost, and the 'successful' man is in actuality more often a provider and
supporter of his spouse. I find this is the case with most of my married co-workers, especially ones who have been married for stable decades. Husbands in my blue-collar peer-group are burden bearers, and work to make their wives (and children) happy.

I have long used anima theory to examine the roots of my CDing. Early, (or 'rudimentary,' as there's no guarantee of a linear steady progression) stages of anima development (The 'Eve" stage, to use one naming method) can have the anima represented as a simple sexual objectification, but that's an austere view to lace on the whole picture.

Anima theory fits me better than any other theory I've encountered or developed. It feels correct, and it resonates for me. I'm happier knowing that I dress (and likely do everything else I do) because it pleases the whims of some inner Goddess. That puts me, (and usually keeps me) in a subordinate state - but only to an intangible higher self rather than to a projection. I stay subjugated to the ideal of a higher self, when all works well, and it generally does.

Or, if I want to do the "identity dipsey-doodle," I can say on the converse that it allows me to keep my lower self in line.

Does this mean I'm my own fairy godmother?

[joanne51]

I remember back when I was about 9 or 10, my mum warning me that If I did not stop biting my finger nails she would paint them with nail varnish. I cannot recall if she carried out the threat, but after another 5 or 6 years I would be trying out her clothes when at home alone.
Painting my nails is a real thrill now!

[SillyGirl]

Nothing traumatic caused me to start dressing, I just like girls and everything about them. Girls get better clothes, better fabrics and materials, better shoes, better hair, pretty fingernails and makeup and I want to wear it all. From the time I became aware of the real differences between boys and girls, I would look at girl things and imagine how it would feel to wear them.

[ChristinaK]

Sometimes Miss, you are absolutely correct.

Anyway, I started as far back as my memory goes, about 4 when I wore my sisters slips. I always loved to look at the Penny's and Sears catalogs, but only the women's clothing. I always wished I could wear the dresses my sister and her friends wore (long time ago) and have always gotten aroused by women's underwear.

Why? Because they have such pretty clothing and sexy fabrics. Because I'm part girl. Because I watched my mother dress when I was young. Because I shared a room with my sister.

Who knows? I hear that we represent 2-4% of the male population, which makes us really different, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

[SillyGirl]

Who knows? I hear that we represent 2-4% of the male population, which makes us really different, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

I think that if M2F CD wasn't so taboo, that percentage would probably be a little higher. Like you said, the clothes and fabrics are so much better.

[Stephanie47]

I've never been able to figure out "Why did I become a cross dresser?" Frankly, except for when this topic shows up on a thread I no longer think about it. For the most part, if my brain is going to be strained, the question becomes "Why do I continue to wear women's clothing?"

Anyway, I was the second of two sons. My sister was not born until I was twelve. My four cousins are male. I was not dressed up as a girl by my mother, an aunt, sister or cousin. I remember once in kindergarten my teacher told me she liked my "blouse." Heck, it was a cowboy shirt, and, I told her so. I did not like the fact she was confused. In retrospect, given the time (early 1950's) and her age (old, I mean old) that probably was a term a woman her age may have used in ordinary conversation. There were hardly any girls in the 48 unit apartment building. There was one young girl born during the war. I think nature tries to balance out or account for the need to replenish the supply of men after losses of men during war.

The only thing I can ever think of that may have contributed to becoming a cross dresser was my affection for nylon, as in nylon slips. My mother had an "illegal" washing machine in the apartment. She hung her nylon slips to dry in the hallway on a wash line or in the sole bathroom of the apartment. I discovered the softness of the slips/nylon when I would have to negotiate past the hanging slips to get to my bedroom. The feel of the nylon was so different from what I wore; cotton underwear and tee shirts, dungarees (jeans), etc. I would intentional brush against the slips. then touch them. Then I finally took one off the clothes line in the bathroom and put it on. It was nothing sexual. It was just the feel. My mother also wore some floor length nylon nighties which I discovered. Nylon led me down the road to being a cross dresser. Would I have become a cross dresser if my mother had not hung those slips to dry? Good question.

But, why continue on to raiding her lingerie draw and trying on her bras, panties, girdles and stockings, and, a few of her sun dresses? Was it to see what it felt to wear "it all?" At the age I was at that time, there was absolutely no sexual aspect to it. In fact, sex had not yet been invented yet. There was no sex on the television, three basic channels and several local NYC stations. The best sexual printed content was the bra and girdle adds in women's magazines.

My wife actually has given me an out with all this Caitlyn Jenner awareness. She feels many people are influenced by "past lives." It really sounds good to me, and, when I search some really weird or unusual thoughts and visions I had as a really young child (3 or 4) I am not so fast to be dismissive of her beliefs.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is latent in early childhood and for some does not come to the fore till later in life.

Circumstances and relationships do play a part.

[Samantha uk]

Hi everyone, Please forgive the long post but I think you might find it quite illuminating on this thread.

For me I think it started from day one. I didn’t realise it until I started to fully dress in 2006 but CDing has been with me my whole life and my Mum told me something about my childhood recently that was quite revealing.

When I was born in 1972 my Dad was in the British army and we where stationed in Germany. The British army was very different in the 1970’s and families never had the support they get now. My Dad would be on 6 month tours to various places from the day I was born so My extroverted Mum was left at home on her own with a baby boy in a foreign country with no husband or friends and only a phone call home once a week. This went on for a couple of years and Mum admitted she did get depressed from time to time.

Now although I obviously don’t remember, you can imagine how attached a little boy and his mother become when their whole world is each other, and the piece of the puzzle that made it all fit was when she told me about how scared I would be when my Dad returned from his 6 month tour, because as far as I was concerned, this man was a stranger in my world, and apparently I would stand behind my Mum and cling on to her legs for comfort, legs that would be clad in tights (or pantyhose for US readers)

All of a sudden it all made sense. My love of CDing has evolved from an obsession with tights, an obsession I’ve had ever since I found the familiar comfort of my Mums legs as a 2 year old. It doesn’t make CDing any easier but it does explain how powerful experiences you have as a child can affect you as an adult, experiences you may never know you had, as in my case x

[sometimes_miss]

the clothes and fabrics are so much better.
Not so much. They're just clothes that say to us 'girl'. I own some really good men's clothes, which are incredibly comfortable. But they reinforce that I'm a guy, and I'd rather wear clothes that say to me 'girl'. There are lots of fine men's clothing in terrific fabrics, and good men's dress shoes are way more comfortable than any heels you can find. So I believe that it's the psychological comfort that we get from wearing female clothing which we find so much more important, more so than the physical comfort.

[Kaze_]

It started young for me.

Really young.... According to my mother as its beyond my memories.

[Katey888]

So I believe that it's the psychological comfort that we get from wearing female clothing which we find so much more important, more so than the physical comfort.

BINGO! :clap:

About once a week someone who has thought about this posts a neat little snippet that sums up a lot about how I have felt... This might be about physical sensations for some, but that doesn't necessarily relate to what drives our psychological need to express (and partially experience) a gender contrary to our physical birth gender. Thanks Lexi... :)

To address LexiNexi's OP regarding the desire to CD - I believe most higher level desires emerge in early childhood (beyond food, shelter, security, etc.) and while I also believe this gender quirk that afflicts many of us (but not all) is innate, we don't really begin to understand the complexities of relationships that link gender with societal role and is heavily signified by clothing and appearance, until we start to develop an understanding of our little world and how we as individuals, fit into that society. For me, it was around 5 or 6 when I developed an inexplicable urge to 'look girly'. I don't recall this as being related to my mother's clothes at the time, but more how girls of my age were looking and dressing. No trauma, and not what I would describe as a fetish at that age either.

So to be clear, the desire to CD doesn't start in early childhood, but this is when it is likely to manifest itself. :)

Katey x

[Acastina]

Sometimes Miss, you are absolutely correct.

Anyway, I started as far back as my memory goes, about 4 when I wore my sisters slips. I always loved to look at the Penny's and Sears catalogs, but only the women's clothing. I always wished I could wear the dresses my sister and her friends wore (long time ago) and have always gotten aroused by women's underwear.

Why? Because they have such pretty clothing and sexy fabrics. Because I'm part girl. Because I watched my mother dress when I was young. Because I shared a room with my sister.

Who knows? I hear that we represent 2-4% of the male population, which makes us really different, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

Bingo. Fits my pattern perfectly. I was told that my parents were hoping for a girl after two sons before me, my year-younger sister was the first girl in the family in a century, she and I shared a room for ten years (while my brothers had their male lair across the house), and I remember trying on my mother's undergarments at a very early age. Oh, I learned to mimic what boys must feel, and got quite good at playing the role in most circumstances, but I was always different.

It became a frequent hobby in my teens whenever I was left home alone, but it wasn't sexual because my puberty was delayed by about six years. It just felt right and nice, and I liked how I looked in the mirror. It was episodic through early adulthood, a time-to-time thing that I kept hoping I'd outgrow. Then, at about age 29 and finishing graduate school, it just blew up and I started reading up on it and reaching out to support communities.

Here's an old photo I found recently of my sister and me. This would be approximately when I was 12 and she was 11. She topped out at 5'8", and I eventually reached 6'1" at about age 22. Being that slight of stature and not experiencing puberty until years after my peers, it doesn't surprise me objectively that I am how I am, but it definitely goes back to my earliest memories.

[Angie G]

As A child I was drawn to womans clothes. To put whatever I coul'd get my hands on. To tis day more them 50 years latter It's here more then ever. My dad did it (never seen him dressed) I do thind my head is part GG. It's never been a fetish but part of who I am.:hugs:
Angie

[Michelle Girl]

I didn't start dressing until my teens and, even then, it was fairly infrequent. So, to answer the OP directly, no I didn't CD from early childhood. What I do clearly remember from my teens, though, was feeling envious of women's clothing. Not talking here about the very sexy or ultra feminine items, either. Maybe just everyday garments that men and women both wear, such as jumpers. I remember the girls at school wearing cowl neck jumpers and I really loved the way the neck would hang and the increased elegance they had, and I was annoyed to discover they weren't available to guys. These cowl neck jumpers were just slightly more ornate than the male version. So. I think some of my reasons for dressing are plain and simple frustration that the better, more elegant or sophisticated ranges of clothing are just not available to men.

I still look today at how the floor space given over to women's clothing in any major store is normally about four or five times that of the men's area.

Of course I realise that my cross dressing is not confined to a simple frustration about the lack of range available. It goes beyond that into the realms of wishing to feel and look special, and then wearing truly feminine items, and that in turn sort of led to makeup. But when I look back, the lack of range was in many ways the the starting point for me.

I don't know if anyone else shared a similar starting point.

Love, Michelle

[CONSUELO]

For me it started at a very young age, perhaps around 4 or 5. I have a clear memory of when I began to take an interest in dressing in slips, nightgowns and girdles etc.,. For me it was also very sexually arousing. I loved to be near women and enjoyed the smell and the look and envied their lovely interesting clothes. Lingerie stores were places of great attraction and sexual excitement. To this day I am aroused by the feel and look of fine lingerie and I love the look of lace. I dressed as often as I could from a young age. Was it imprinted or triggered by something or was it latent and awaiting a trigger? I don't know but at this point in my life I really don't care as I accept and enjoy being a cross dresser.

[lingerieLiz]

I have no idea why and don't thing anyone has discovered the holy grail of it. My earliest memory of women in lingerie was when my mother and several other women were getting ready to go out. At that moment I assumed that when I grew up I would do the same. This was during the WWII era and men were not about. I saw my mother getting ready to go out in her lingerie from time to time as well as some of my aunts and cousins. My sisters had pretty dresses and cute panties. At about 5 my mother put me in panties because I had run out of clean underwear. From that day on I wanted to wear girls clothes.

I have no idea if this caused me to be a CD anymore than walking down the street and being hit by a car.

[irene9999]

As a child, I was always fascinated with women's clothing and I even tried wearing some of my mom's clothes at an early age. Not really sure where this comes from, maybe it was just always appealing to me? There's lots of GGs who rarely wear dresses and heels so maybe it's just something that you either like or you don't, in our case it's more taboo doing though

[Bruce64]

It started before Adam was born, I have seen cross dressing in just about everyone. I started as a teen I have a Sister about my size and stole her panties a few times, wear it and put it back, I think she knew that I was crossdressing. I most play with make up as a boy about 12 or 13, I love the smell of lipstick and still do, I am not an exhibit in cross dressing however.

[heatherdress]

This explains why there aren't many female crossdressers.

Reine - I suspect there are as many women who crossdress as men, maybe even a lot more. A guy who wears female underwear is a crossdresser. A woman who wears boxers is cool. A woman in male attire is OK and she does not carry a label of crossdresser. Even in youth, girls who dress like boys are usually accepted and simply called "tom-girls". Boys who even try to wear anything considered female, however, are teased or bullied as sissies or gay or feminine.

[Judith]

I've always had a desire to crossdress. Having an older sister, clothes were always available. I remember when I was 1 1/2 years old being dressed in a red dress with frilly panties. Maybe that's what started it. The older I got, the less acceptable it got, but I still dressed, in private, and still to this day, 68 years later.

[StacyCD]

I started dressing in women's clothes (my moms) long before I knew anything about sex. I think crossdressing is something that is hard wired in our brains--most just simply ignore it.

[Athena_]

I agree with many others that the desire to dress was present long before I understood anything about sex.

I was reminded about a potentially traumatic situation by my older sister recently:

When I was younger, maybe 6 or 7, and it was before my parents split up; my father, used to tease me about being a sissy when I cried or got upset. I am told that he used to threaten to dress me up as a girl and lock me out of the house. I don't really remember it, but my sister swears that she remembers it clearly. This was likely before I started dressing on my own. While I don't in any way think of myself as a victim, I wonder if it could have be a catalyst.

[NicoleScott]

Wen4cd, I suppose crossdressing and fetishes are apples and oranges for some, maybe most, but for some of us they are closely connected and for myself, they cannot be separated. I am always, even when dressed OTT, a guy. I just want to create something that excites the guy looking into the mirror.
When I was a young boy getting my teeth cleaned by a beautiful dental assistant, for the duration of the cleaning my eyes were fixed on her perfect deep red lips. Even long before any awareness of sexual excitement, I may have experienced a feel-good twitch. Maybe it was this event, maybe not, that started my fetish for deep red lipstick. For whatever reasons unknown to me, I have two major fetishes, deep red lipstick and very high heels, plus a few minor ones, all things women wear. I'm not trying to reconcile what I wear with an internal feminine identity, but rather I crossdress to maximize the excitement that those fetishes invoke in the guy that I am.
For me, the desire to crossdress began in early childhood, but lacking privacy and money and nerve, I just dabbled until I was able to put it all together in my early twenties. Or so I thought I was head-to-toe complete. Over the years since it has been more is better, and I love to make up and dress as over-the-top as I can.

[Confucius]

I've been interested in cross-dressing as long as I can remember.

Like many others, my mother was hoping for a daughter, and I was born her second son. It was a big disappointment for her, as she was doing everything possible to have a girl. She didn't have to wait long for a daughter as my sister was born just 13 months after me. My mom would tell us stories about our birth, and I was always the disappointment, and my sister's birth was the happiest day of her life. My sister grew up as a pampered little princess. I grew up believing that my mother would have loved me more if I was born a girl. And, I also believed that all parents prefer girls, because girls were better than boys. Girls were so lucky. They got all the pretty things, while boys were rough and dull.

By the time I was three years old I was raiding my mother's closet and playing dress-up with her clothes. She would scold me, because I was ruining her good clothes, but I couldn't help myself. She was good at sewing and making clothes, so one day she decided to make me a pretty party dress. She would have me try it on as she made it. At one point it was just about done, and I got to try it on with a petticoat. I danced around and admired how it would twirl, as my mother laughed. At that point my older brother walked in and fell down laughing and pointing at me. Immediately my joy turned to horror, and tears. "Take it off, take it off", I pleaded with my mom. My father walked in about that time and there was some loud discussion with my mom. The dress was finished and given to a neighbor girl my age. I was instructed on how boys were supposed to behave. I continued to cross-dress, but from that moment I learned to keep my cross-dressing secret.

My urge to cross-dressing became stronger with puberty. Why? It seems as if some neurotransmitters associated with the sex drive (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, etc) are also associated with cross-dressing. It is just as if my brain is hardwired to interpret cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. Perhaps early in our childhood - during synaptogenesis, a neural network was created, and reinforced, establishing itself as a permanent wiring in my brain. Cross-dressing will always be associated with neurotransmitters which produce sensations of well-being, pleasure, comfort, gratification, and self-identity.

[AllieBellema]

I would say it sparked for me on some of the outfits I've seen in movies and such. Of course, whenever I had the house to myself, I would search through my grandmothers stuff (and she had enough clothes to start her own K-Mart) and find some things to wear that I liked. It wasn't enough as alot of the ball gowns and such I saw really drew me towards it.

[JessiFoxx]

Like most, I too started very early (5-6) is my earliest recollection. However it started with shoes and I've never stopped obsessing over girls/women's shoes and boots. I'm so loving the boot styles these days too :daydreaming: . I have always loved girls and preferred girls clothes for their broader selection in styles an materials. Everything is much more trendy and styles change so often. Men's, well not so much! I have horses and to be able to get all dolled up and go for a ride is so thrilling! I truly believe that if I had the resources earlier on in life and had been able to talk to someone I would have leaned more towards being TG and gone through with transitioning. Anyhow, that another story!

[Wen4cd]

NicoleScott Yeah I get you there. Deep red lipstick and very high heels are very beautiful and symbolic, and the deeply red lips, at least, are a secondary sexual characteristic supposedly programmed into all of us, so much so that lips may not even technically be a fetish.

For me, though, my fetishes lie in different pathways than my crossdressing, and the paths don't seem to cross as much as I might like them to. My crossdressing began in the mirror, and it's always been something I've actively "done" because I wanted to. My fetishes, on the other hand, oddly all have their roots in erotic dreams I began to have at a young age and I seemed to have no choice in the matter. The difference is apples and oranges to me because one is conscious and the other unconscious.

[suit]

how about it started with not enough honest information ? it came with lies and innuendo's came with taboo's broken guilt leveraged through fascination of unknown "illegal" activity of "touching the untouchable's" they are very close to unmentionables . its revolt it's special it's nice ( as far as the knowledge you might of had when you stated 1 ) it may have been the nicest thing you had touched in a long time . or had touch you . it most likely smelled nice too (and you were not allowed to >2nd class citizen ?< )( we are animals,and we do work on pheromones, they count ,they work too 2) the grass is greener the clothes are more expensive more fragile and quicker to fall out of fashion (bet that was never explained)
1 women and all you know now vs what imagined reality that women worked in that you knew of when you started "dressing" ? huge crash of fantasy with appearances and reality s
2 pheromones are the first step into fixating on how to make babies , right ? that oily link must bind to synthetics like polyester, ployester loves oil , I bet real rayon {cellulose acetate fibers} is a huge sponge for the stuff and that may be why it's not used in much of the fashions today . in the 50's rayon panties were pretty standard. so were the firm control long leg high waist zippered stretch satin paneled girdles,(I know nothing of what i speak) But way back in the 60's good information would have alleviated a couple of ass tons of imagination fear~ self created stress. oohh and anything naughty is fun.

[Someone777]

You are who you are.

Sure, sometimes stuff that happens in life triggers a change in you. However, short of some extensive brain washing, random events in life aren't going to make you into someone you weren't already.

The first time I crossdressed wasn't really my choice. An older sibling thought it would be a funny Halloween costume since her (adult aged) friends were hilarious looking that way. Well, the joke was on both of us because, due to my age (and generally ambiguous features,) I was just a bit too convincing. I'd be lying if I said I hated the experience but I wasn't thrilled with it either. At the time, I remember feeling more bothered by the fact no one saw through my disguise than by the fact I was wearing a skirt. I literally had a girl my age ask me what my costume was supposed to be and she quietly turned around and didn't speak to me again when I told her.

Now, I crossdress out of a combination of medical necessity and being cheap. I'm probably the odd one out here for saying this. I wear tights to deal with circulation problems and they don't technically count as crossdressing, since they're unisex. I wear panties to keep the tights from rolling down and they totally count as crossdressing. They're not normal panties, they're the super high waist shape wear type. I'd almost say I enjoy wearing the tights, except for the fact they're such a pain to get on. It's on average a 15 minute ordeal of fighting them to get the tights on. The tights really make my legs feel better and the panties have caused me to spend a little too much time checking out my own ass. The reason I picked panties over men's underwear is a combination of the fact they're much cheaper than the men's version and the fact they looked like they would do a better job keeping the tights in place.

My habit is fairly tame compared to most people here. As long as the shirt I'm wearing isn't too tight and I'm not wearing shorts, it's impossible to even know what I'm wearing.

I don't see my habit escalating much any time soon. The truth is, I'm thoroughly the t-shirt and jeans type and there's really not much difference between the women's and men's versions of what I wear. Sure, if I wanted to make myself more feminine, I could but I just don't see the point. Who would I be dressing up for? What would I be trying to prove? I've never been too fussy about my looks and I'm perfectly comfortable with who I am. I just like to wear what works for me.

In the end, my attitude toward clothing hasn't really changed. It was a change in my physical needs that pushed me to this point.

Price is the main reason I justified buying panties but I really don't see myself going back. Now that I'm already wearing them, I don't plan to give them up. How should I put it, once a line gets crossed there's no going back. So, yes, I'm not just doing it out of medical necessity and being cheap but, if you met me in person, I'd never admit to that last part. :straightface:

I feel like I missed an opportunity to make a crossdressing pun but I'm just too tired.

[Emma 1973]

I started dressing later on in life and cant remember dressing in my mothers things as a young child like alot here. One thing i can remember though is once i started my teen years and dating i did take a strange fancy to womens shoes, maybe there is something in that but really it was just something i stumbled across and tried.

I found i liked it alot.

[Teresa]

Lexi,
Again I have read all the replies and not a single one has the same answer as mine . To me my Cding did start traumatically !
I now believe that we are born with female traits. From a fairly early age I had a GF I walk to school with her holding her hand, maybe about 4 years old, at about 8-9 years I wasn't ashamed to be seen kissing her, much to the dislike of most of my friends. I wasn't that bothered about female clothes until I saw a new swimsuit my sister bought, it was tight fitting with with a padded bust and a halter neck strap which could be removed. I suddenly wanted to wear it so much but didn't know why, at that age I knew nothing of sex or masturbation and the onset of erections very embarrassing !
I started to wear the swimsuit not because of the feel of the material but in my mind it must have been more to do with the shape which resembled a female body.What possessed to me to do what I did then was only explained to me recently by my therapist. I put clothes over a deflated air bed, squeezed into the dresses and then inflated the air bed. I was trapped in that situation, during one of these sessions I had an involuntary orgasm, I explain it that way because I didn't know what had happened , yes at that time it didn't feel good but more traumatised me, I was only a child of 8-9 and I was scared !
I now realise that the combination of these events locked the connections in my brain between females, clothes and sex, something I have never lost to this day. I only discovered recently when going through this with my counsellor and relating the dreams I was having at that time.

They consisted of me lying on my bed floating above a large room with the floor covered in girls clothes, if I fell off the bed I would immediately be wearing the clothes, no matter how much I pulled at them I would find another layer underneath. This dream changed after my first orgasm, I then continued with me being made to penetrate a woman, and be dressed with clothes joined to hers so again I couldn't get out of that situation, I was about 10 when I started having that dream.
My counsellor explained it by saying that my female side was almost as strong as my male side and it was trying to take over, she also added that after consulting with colleagues she had never come across many children of that age to be so sexually driven, especially with having no knowledge of what was going on.
Since that time I have never lost the gut feeling of being pulled in another direction, to me it also explains why I have always had a deep need to share my dressing with women . I truly believe the label male lesbian , I dress partly to please myself (AGP) and partly to be attractive to women.
I eventually managed to explain this to my wife and she did accept by agreeing I'm part female , naturally she's also reminded me that she's not a lesbian, my answer was no but I partly am !!

[HollyGreene]

As a very young child (before school age) I had 2 brothers and all the other kids in the street were boys. When I was about 4 or 5, a new family moved into the street and they had girl. I think it was probably the first time I'd really seen a girl. As I recall, she was quite pretty and wore some equally pretty dresses. I was captivated and I can remember thinking that I wished I was a girl so that I could look like that. I don't think that event in my life was the cause of me becoming a CD - I think it just awoke in my mind what was already there.

It wasn't until many years later that I actually had the opportunity to try on a dress, but when I did it felt right.

[PattyT]

Absolutely.
I was attracted to the cuteness and apparent comfort of girl's clothing ever since I can remember. I also remember a dream I had of being dressed up in a red skirt and whire blouse, with black patent leather shoes. I also remember going shopping with my mother for shoes when I was very young. The saleslady pointed out kid's shoes which were rather feminine. My mother rejected these and I felt horrible. Earlier on I collected magazine and adds showing the kind of clothes I was interested. I really longed to be able to dress in them and felt so miserable that I couldn't. As I grew older I became interested in female attire suitable to my age, more or less. I started dressing secretely as soon as I started earning a bit of money to buy some clothes.
I really think it is something we are born with and first appears when we're very young.

[Kiwi Primrose]

An easy answer for me.
I have loved the feel of feminine clothing, especially lingerie, since my earliest memories.
I swapped clothing with a girl cousin when we were very young, my fiance (later wife) bought me lovely underwear when we were courting and still does.
I am nearly 80, married almost 60 years and she still helps me select new things.
I have no hang-ups. Dressing up is as natural as breathing.

[Joanne108]

It did for me. I first tried on a bra as part of some game at the age of 5. It progressed form there.

[gabyespinotv]

Started at 9 y/o for me

[MarciManseau]

My sister began putting me in her clothes from the earliest memories I have, about 4 I'd guess, and I loved every second of it. :love:

I thank her all the time for it too.

[soha]

Yeah,I I started when I was 7years old I was fond of to wear scarf and bsrclet that belong girls.

[Alice Torn]

Reine has a good post. i had teachers who wore dresses, skirts, nylons and heels, and they made a big impression on me, as well, as my mom's legs in nylons.Also, a nurse i had once , at a doctor office, with long silky legs. And images on Television, also made impressions. I raided my sister, and mom's closets at around age 14. Sadly, being born male has huge hazards, that women may may not understand much, and females have other types of hazards. Little wonder, so many males are becoming transgendered, and crossdressers.

- - - Updated - - -

Confucius, You are onto something there. My dad never wanted sons,, my mom later admitted. he had one premature damaged daughter, then three sons, which he really did not want. We were treated as slaves, resented, while sister was spoiled. I wet the bed until age 20. I was blocked form having girlfriends, was unable to be relaxed with girls. I found handling and wearing women's clothes also almost the same as touching women themselves. I felt that wearing a dress, was almost the same as having a lady next to me, too. Part of my life's problems, was being an unwanted male, and having a distant dad, and older twin brothers, who have ridiculed me all my life, and having damaged confidence as a male, though i got away from the unhealthy family for 29 years, and grew in confidence, and a hard worker, but was forced to return to the toxic brood six years ago, and am very depressed, and dress up fully 2 or 3 times a month, 99% in closet. But, many overwhelming painful issues here.

[StarrOfDelite]

I didn't become interested in transgenderism until I was over forty when I was browsing the early internet and came across some crossdresser pages. I was fascinated, maybe transfixed is a better word, and became very involved in TG's and CD'ing very quickly. Looking back at my childhood, I can remember several incidents which may have planted a seed which predisposed me in this direction.

I started out primarily by trying on some of my wife's sandals, and by testing her makeup and lipstick, and have steadily progressed to a point where I spend several hours every day wearing a wig, light makeup, and androgynous clothing.

[Dana44]

Yeah, I've always had these strange flip/flop of my brain switching left/right. My dad always called me girly as my body was small. But we had to grow up to be men. LOL I made it but knew I was far different and beat to my own drum. I crossdressed since my early years and it took me forty years to find out what that switching was and how it related to me. I am now comfortable with it and with an accepting woman. I find that my male side is still strong and my female side seems to be getting stronger but I am trying to keep the balance. Yet I have become more androgynous with long hair and pierced ears.

[dana digs sweaters]

The desire to crossdress did start early in childhood for me
and I am glad.
Nothing traumatic happened to me either.
No humiliation from my other sisters when I was playing dress-up with any of them.
Of course now I get the occasional joke playfully directed to me since I am out to them now.

[PattyT]

Yes, ｅｖｅｒ since I can remember. In my case this is not an acquired taste or habit. Before finally going out fully dressed I always felt a great deal of frustration in seeing GGs in such great clothes and me in drab.

[BillieAnneJean]

Almost all start early. Very few, like me, start later in life.
Those times also seem to reflect the need.

All should be able to present as they desire without fear of retribution. It isn't like er are committing a crime or plotting to steal.
Harless fun.

[lisa_vin]

Mine started around 3 to 4 years old with my mom's nylons and slips. My dad died when I was 4 and my brother was 17 years older than me and already out of the house and married so I was raised with no male guidance at all. She allowed me to put them on and I don't remember her ever saying anything negative or ugly about it. However, at some point during those early years (possibly around 8 or 9), I remember some male "person", perhaps a relative or family friend, taking me aside away from my mom and proceeding to say absolutely horrible things to me with the intent to hurt, scare, shame and embarrass me into stopping such an ungodly and detestable activity. I remember being scared out of my wits, feeling sick to my stomach, crying and feeling like a totally useless piece of crap. Did I stop cd'ing? No, I learned how to do it in secret with nobody knowing.

I'm 61 now and it's always been a part of who I am! In later years, before my brother died, he told me on at least a couple of occasions that I was not a "planned" birth and that, upon finding out she was pregnant, mom had wished for a girl before I was born. I'm positive though that it was not him that told me all of that horrible stuff back around when I 8 or 9 years old. Since my mom died when I was 14, I'll never know who that "Mr. Ugly" was.

[phili]

I know mine did. Age 5, saw my sister's cotton panties come down the laundry chute and I thought, how nice, no weird fly- and tried them on. Somehow I also got an erection and orgasm and a sexual value was established- maybe no unnecessary seams in the way for masturbating? I innocently came out to my parents but was shame punished, so spent my youth in the closet, and crossdressing didn't get to be part of my public persona. When my dad said- 'You want to dress up like a girl? We'll dress you up like a girl and put you out on the front step!" - I should have said- Ok! Sounds good! It probably would have worked out quite well! Ok -just dreaming...

[Rita Leigh]

I recall wearing a long nylon silky night gown or slip as a 3 or 4 year old (possibly younger) at the grandmother's. My mother may have been present. Thus began my lifelong fascination with all lingerie. Fast forward to ages 10-12 and sexual abuse by a male babysitter over those two years sealed my fate for he enjoyed putting female undergarments on me and masturbating. I never spoke up. I have been a cross dresser ever since, for more than 6 decades. I wear panties every day for it's tolerated but nothing else is out in the open, only privately. I recall being caught with female clothes, mostly lingerie, when I was a teenager and being sent to counseling. The counselor had no experience with my issues and the sessions were a waste of time and money. I was asked at that time(early 60's) by my mother if I wanted to be a woman and I said no...maybe that was a mistake. If times had been different, and hormones readily available, I might have chosen a different path than as a spouse and father. I still love the feel of nylon and silky undergarments and nightclothes...I probably will forever. Well, maybe in the next life, I will be better aligned...but I'll never know the difference, will I?

[Rosemary+]

It all started early for me, pre school age, watching my mother get dressed applying her make up. I just had to try it so when I had the chance I put one of her dresses on and I was hooked.

I can remember before this time though always wanted to wear a dress or something femme.
I have aways identified with the lead woman on TV and at the movies, never with the lead male actors.
I always wanted to be like Katherine Hepburn when I grew up.

Rosie

[Tina June]

Which came first - the chicken or the egg? Did I become girly because I was called girly, or was I called girly because I was girly?!

[Suzy Parker]

It would be easy to blame early outside influences as the cause. Lets face it, Jeannie, Samantha, Ginger, Mary Ann, Wonder Woman, and many others were certainly adored by me as a young boy probably more for the clothes they wore than any other reason. I truly believe that I came off of the assembly line this way. I was very confused about why until one day a catalyst started me on my journey. I had seen my mother dressing before, helped her with zippers on a few occassions, and once in a Corselette and stockings before she had her dress on. That really made me curious and I wondered what that must feel like. One day after a shower, there it was, one of her Corselette's in the laundry basket. After drying off I quickly pulled it on and it felt wonderful. That is the day my journey started. Other people might take longer to realize they are inclined this way, maybe they kind of know but go to the other extreme to deny it, or possibly just waiting for the right catalyst to set things in motion on a one way journey because once you start there is no stopping.

[Mykaa]

Im 48 now and my earliest memory has to be around age 4 or 5, at Gran mas with high heel boots, I have never quit, I love high heel boots and have always been fascinated with stilettos in general. That progressed to lingerie then to foundations and then to clothing, I have allready bought a dress to meet up with another cd'er lol, I also just bought a clutch handbag... Id have to assume I will only keep progressing. I do like being male also though. I am happy being me in general and I do like my girly stuff very much. Id like to think I can pass, maybe sometime on the future I'll have a makeup/wig session. I need to have priorities though, so some things will just have to wait for now.
I know I realized recently I own more womens clothes than mens. I am quite fine with that.

[Robin414]

It does start early (like in the womb, literally...absorbed twin, mosaic Kleinfelters syndrome anyone 😉 ? )

That said though, you have to be at least or 21 to CD! 😡 (but only 18 in Canada 😉 )

[Joni Beauman]

It was certainly early for me, my mother's slips and girdles with stockings attached too easy to slide into while she talked on the phone. Early 60s slips. Lacy and silky. I also recall a time when I was to attend a birthday party - age 5 or 6 - and because at swim practice that day I "swam like a girl", I had to wear a kind of native American costume designed for girls. It was a kind of dress for punishment. I do wonder if my proclivity to dress as female daily is a form of self punishment, like the endorphin rush from self cutting but with less blood. Should I see a therapist? Joni

[Suzy Parker]

One thing I miss from my youth was all of the nicely colored girdles that were available back then which my mom had quite a few of and I of course took every opportunity to try them all. All of the floral colored ones, the blues, pinks, yellows, greens....etc. Today you get black, white, or beige. My earliest memory of dressing was at age 6 but I was looking through department store catalogs in the womens sections at about the age of 5.

[Devone]

For me it started at a very young age, perhaps around 4 or 5. I have a clear memory of when I began to take an interest in dressing in slips, nightgowns and girdles etc.,. For me it was also very sexually arousing. I loved to be near women and enjoyed the smell and the look and envied their lovely interesting clothes. Lingerie stores were places of great attraction and sexual excitement. To this day I am aroused by the feel and look of fine lingerie and I love the look of lace. I dressed as often as I could from a young age. Was it imprinted or triggered by something or was it latent and awaiting a trigger? I don't know but at this point in my life I really don't care as I accept and enjoy being a cross dresser.

Consuelo , For me it started when I was crib bound at a young age.My elderly aunt who lived with us took care of my brother and myself because both of our parents worked. She use to put on her bra , panties , and clothes in front of us. She was very busty and to this day I can still see clearly in my mind her fitting those big beauitiful breasts into a white playtex bra , and pulling up the white satin panties, she wasn't shy so it was not a big deal for her. Skip a few years in my early teens , try on my mothers swimsuit top and got a really aroused.Got married had kids and cross dressed sporadically for many years , but was put on the back burner. Got caught by my wife about 10 years ago, she was not too pleased.I'am now in mid 60's and the urge for me to cross dress and release my self came back strongly a few years ago.I have been buying myself clothes in the last year and it feels pretty comfortable going into women's thrift shops and buying stuff.I have always loved and got aroused looking at women's clothes and sexy things that girls wear all my life.I do it in private and really enjoy it and it feels good to release myself because my sex life is non existent at this time.Thanks for listening ,Devone

[Roxy]

Yes it start in early childhood for me. No trauma. I just loved the look and feel of lingerie since early childhood and wanted to be wrapped in femininity. I would get and still do get more of a sexual charge looking at a lingerie catolog than an open crotch Hustler mag

[PattyT]

I tried starting a thread on the following idea but the thread went way off track. I'll explain the idea again briefly. Most people are born right handed due to the makeup of the brain, and some left handed. Being left handed is therefore a natural phenonmenon. It is now considered harmful to force a left handed person to become right handed. Along similar lines, due to the makeup of the brain, perhaps 5% of the male population are born with a strong feminine side making them CDs. This too is a natural phenomenon and would also be harmful to force a CD to change.

[NewBrendaLee]

I think that it does start in early childhood, I am sure mine did

[sometimes_miss]

perhaps 5% of the male population are born with a strong feminine side making them CDs.
The problem with that idea is, we don't have 'sides'; that implies multiple personality disorder.

It's all what we are; all the feelings, all the desires, all the underlying urges to dress up and behave as women, all the thoughts we try to suppress because we don't want to accept it for what it is. Trying to distance ourselves from it by referring to it as a 'side', or assigning those emotions to a fictional third person female name, is all just an attempt to avoid being connected with femininity, most likely because we were brought up in a society where that was not acceptable under ANY circumstances. The word part that we all run away from screaming, with our fingers in our ears, is HOMO. Very, very few of us can accept that we have any homosexual desires because it's simply not allowed, every straight man in the world will insist that he'd rather be dead than gay. It's so ingrained into our minds, and has been for so long, that it's not likely to change. We grow up believing something, it becomes like a part of us, we'd just as soon cut off an arm as discard our beliefs.

"We have met the enemy, and she is us". Paraphrased from Pogo, 1971

[PattyT]

Sometime-miss stated,
"The problem with that idea is, we don't have 'sides'; that implies multiple personality disorder."
There is definitely a problem with referring to using phrases as "espressing our female side" and the like. I've seen good arguments about this and frankly am not happy about using the words "female side" or "female aspect". It's hard to come up with something better. When I read about naval history or warship design, topics I find exhilarating, I'm not expressing my "male side", just reading what interests me. When en femme，I'm merely wearing the clothes I like best, not really expressing a "female side."
What we do is very much an integral part of us and is not a multiple personality disorder. I feel that I'm my real self only when I'm en femme. I'm just playing a role when in drab, hiding the real me. Being en femme is not really expressing a side of me but is the real me. Period.
Perhaps someone can come up with a more acceptable term to describe males having to dress in female attire, if we need a term at all. This might be turned into an intersting thread.

[EllieMayxxx]

I started at the age of 7.

[Molly J]

I have a vague recollection of the daughters of family friends visiting and dressing me in girls clothes when I was little, maybe 4-5 years old. I have many sisters, my parents divorced, and I was always envious of the times my sisters and mom got dressed in my mom's bedroom. I just wanted to be part of the inner circle, and be one of the girls. To this day, I prefer to socialize with women. When I was young, there was no attention or fuss given to my clothes except for the first day of school or the occasional wedding. I wanted to be in my mom' bedroom, trying on clothes, getting that attention for how l looked. My cross dressing played a more prominent role as puberty walked thru the door. The "nylon gene" was obvious. I loved the feeling of silky, satiny and nylon-y lingerie against my skin. I was extremely envious and curious that my closest cousin needed a training bra, so much so that I "stole" the boxed bra, sneaking the boxed bra into the bathroom after she come home from the store. To make a long story short, it was found and I'm sure I was the only suspect. When tried on my first bra, it just felt normal. Feeling the straps on my shoulders just felt right. My family thought I was going to be a girl; my parents only had a girl's name ready when I was born. For some reason, knowing that has always played on my mind. Lots of what-ifs, but also feeling like my birth was not strictly a birth of a son. It was the birth of a person who has floated across the gender spectrum. So yes, the desire started early, but the desire has always been with me at some level of intensity.

[immike]

My desire to CD definitely started when my sisters dressed me,against my will,in one of my mothers dresses&heels.Strangely,the experience left an imprint on my mind,as I
had experienced different clothing,which was silky soft&light&felt incredible against my skin.After that,I began sneaking into mothers closet,after everyone left&began trying on
all of her clothes,her dresses,skirts,blouses,shoes,heels.etc

[Sandyhappygirl]

Started around 8 years old for me, way before puberty. Always tried to look fem, long nails, diamond wedding ring etc etc, but only recently started full on dressing because I'm in my 50's now and life's too short not to.

[SheriM]

The desire certainly started early for me, probably as early as 3 yrs old when I was interested in moms girdles & nylons.

[JenniferR771]

We are all attracted to the opposite sex (or the same sex) it is a normal art of our sexuality. Very necessary for perpetuation of our species. Various fetishes are a part of that. Rubber, leather, damsels in distress. As Confucius said, wearing of women's clothes stimulates the same type of pleasurable feeling we get from just being in close proximity to an attractive woman.
No need for the "imprinting" theory.

It is no accident that "damsel in distress" scenes occur often in movies. Movie makers know how intense are the feelings in the audience.

[karentvca]

My crossdressing desires began with my envy of girls when I was 7 or 8. I liked what I saw and perceived. Smooth legs, pretty faces, gorgeous hair, gentle natures. I wanted all of that because, as my mother and aunt had inadvertently pointed out many, many times, "Girls are better than boys." That message stuck and I have believed it for my entire life. Women were nicer, cleaner, gentler and so thoroughly admired, while boys were just tolerated. Problems arise when you eventually meet girls and women who are not that ideal, and my disappointment is always visceral. Makes me a sexist, I suppose. But I love women so much, I'd like to be one... from time to time.

[Georgina]

Started in early childhood for me. I realised when I was five or six that I liked girls clothes more than my own. 57 years later I still feel the same.

[Loveday]

It did not start until around age 50 for me. If I had even the thought of it when I was young I would of had been severly beaten by my mother then ridiculed by the whole family. I guess it became safe after everyone was gone.

[Mykaa]

It did with me, My earliest memories go back to 4 or 5. I have always been fascinated with high heel boots. the longest Ive ever quit has been around a year and done that twice.

[Stephanie999]

I cant speak for all, but CD in my life was not the result of trauma or drama. 8 years old, I fished out tights and a skirt from moms closet, and loved them. And you would never guess by the way I carry myself after all these years. One time, while wearing that, my yo brother and I wrestled and pinned me between the mattress, and the box-spring, THAT is when I discovered I liked bondage also.

[Nikki.]

Reine - I suspect there are as many women who crossdress as men, maybe even a lot more. A guy who wears female underwear is a crossdresser. A woman who wears boxers is cool. A woman in male attire is OK and she does not carry a label of crossdresser. Even in youth, girls who dress like boys are usually accepted and simply called "tom-girls". Boys who even try to wear anything considered female, however, are teased or bullied as sissies or gay or feminine.

Yes, but when women wear men's clothes, they aren't feeling like they are portraying men, or want to be a man, or want to present as a man. When my wife runs out of underwear and borrows a pair of mine, there's no psychological baggage associated with it. she's just behind on her laundry. when I wear a pair of hers, even if was because I ran out, there's a whole different level of feeling that's associated. I doubt few gg's have any association with gender bending when wearing guy clothes.

[ReineD]

Yes, but when women wear men's clothes,

Nikki, you're new so first let me welcome you, and second let me give you a head's up on this. We don't wear men's clothes. We wear women's clothes purchased in women's stores, cut and sized for women's bodies.

Or, if we use a son's or husband's old shirt to paint in for example, this is just wearing a loose old rag so as to not soil our own clothes. Or if our SO has an old discarded flannel shirt or sweat pants that we think is comfy because it is loose, we wear it around the house because it is comfy like a pair of pajamas. Or, if we wear our boyfriend's jacket or shirt occasionally, it is to enhance our emotional bond. We do not wear our SO's underwear. We do not go to parties, to work, or have other outings with our friends in those clothes, nor do we wear those clothes because we think they make us look attractive. Generally speaking.

[Georgette_USA]

Yes, but when women wear men's clothes, When my wife runs out of underwear and borrows a pair of mine, there's no psychological baggage associated with it.


Few women actually wear MEN'S clothes. There are exceptions, FtM TS and Drag Kings, Both are presenting as men. Also some Butch Lesbian might, had one as a GF for a while and she did, might have classed her as a FtM CD.

Are you talking about a pair of men's underwear. She must really get behind on her laundry, or you might suggest she needs to buy some more. I go thru a dozen or two a week sometimes.

[Jenniferathome]

Yes, but when women wear men's clothes, ... When my wife runs out of underwear and borrows a pair of mine, ... I doubt few gg's have any association with gender bending when wearing guy clothes.

Nikki, three comments:

1) Women don't wear men's clothes unless they are a cross dresser and if this site is any representation, those female to male cross dressers are exceptionally rare. Women's pants, shirts, everything is cut to fit them. That is why it is so hard to find things that fit us! When you see a woman wearing male cut clothing, you can tell instantly.

2) Really, your wife borrowed your underwear? I find that super hard to believe. They won't fit, they'd look odd under her much thinner clothes. If true, she's uber-unique.

3) No they don't because they aren't wearing men's clothes. A t-shirt worn as a smock is not cross dressing. It's a cheap smock.

This is a real common proposition by cross dressers but it just doesn't hold up under any plausible thought.

[Nikki.]

we are on the same page. I was referring to the rare incidental occasion, and the lack of any attachment to it other than filling a functional requirement at that time. poorly written on my end.

[ReineD]

OK. lol. Hope you don't feel pounced on. :)

I guess a few of us wanted to nip it in the bud. We do have many newcomers who believe that when women wear pants, they are CDing. :p

[Nikki.]

Nikki, three comments:


2) Really, your wife borrowed your underwear? I find that super hard to believe. They won't fit, they'd look odd under her much thinner clothes. If true, she's uber-unique.

This is a real common proposition by cross dressers but it just doesn't hold up under any plausible thought.

Agreed except for #2, which is a bit unique- silk boxers from rei I bought for xc skiing (seriously!). I have no idea if she wore them out of the house or not, just that she told me she did when she ran out. I doubt they would show through jeans.
Georgette, I think her underwear inventory levels are fine. she's a busy lady though.

- - - Updated - - -


OK. lol. Hope you don't feel pounced on. :)

I guess a few of us wanted to nip it in the bud. We do have many newcomers who believe that when women wear pants, they are CDing. :p

I'm good. It takes a while in a new culture to figure it out. each Internet forum I've ever been on has its own vibe. I've noticed what you've wrote above; that some CD's equate women wearing pants or a male shirt inspired but intended for a woman dress shirt as cross dressing, which doesn't make any sense to me. to me cross dressing has a psychological dimension to it that is related to a gender issue. a gg wearing pants doesn't have any attachment to it other than being a piece of clothing that fills a functional or fashion or other non gender related need.

I'm qualifying the above by purposefully stating "to me". twice. :D

[Georgette_USA]

Georgette, I think her underwear inventory levels are fine. she's a busy lady though.


I assumed you are out to her as you said you borrow hers ???

Maybe you should help her with the laundry. I hand wash all mine. But I would do a lot of my partners and my clothes laundry.

[Nikki.]

I assumed you are out to her as you said you borrow hers ???

Maybe you should help her with the laundry. I hand wash all mine. But I would do a lot of my partners and my clothes laundry.

yes.

the laundry backlog really isn't an issue. though we both take care of it. as the need arises. except for that one time. when apparently we didn't. because she ran out. and had to borrow my rei cross country skiing underwear. which really is odd that I bought a pair of underwear for cross country skiing. because I'm not really a huge cross country skier. I think it was during my outdoor adventurer phase. come to think of it I have a north face internal frame pack I've only used once. and a whisperlite stove with ultra low mileage. which overlapped my CD phase. which really isn't a phase. or maybe just a very long phase. I guess time will tell.

:D

[ReineD]

I'm qualifying the above by purposefully stating "to me". twice. :D

You'll do just fine here. :) Welcome again! :hugs:

[CarolynO]

My cd'ing started somewhere around age 5.I was aroused by my sister's dress and on impulse put it on.Was caught wearing it too.

Later in 1st grade,i was transfixed by my teacher and the dress she was wearing.I was turned on all day looking at her,and get this.Sooo stupid what i did.After school hours,i snuck back into the school thinking teachers changed back into their own clothes and went home,believing that dress was hanging in the closet so i tiptoed down the hall to the classroom,heard a noise and darted out the door.

That was it until grade 6 when cd'ing began in earnest.

What Reine mentioned in her post(#6) is almost exactly how it happened with me. I think this is simply the way we are hardwired.

[Randee]

I am certain a lot of it begins from some unwitting exposure in childhood gives us our first turn on, and it feels good and we remember it forever.
For me, a girl in my 4th grade class performed a hula dance for us and came into our classroom wearing a black leotard peeking out under her grass skirt. I was captiviated by it and I didn't know why. She looked so good, but for some reason I began to think about being made to wear a leotard costume myself, getting turned on as I mused. Even though my younger sister took dance lessons wearing the requisite leotards and tights, I really gave little thought to her outfit which was a black nylon backzip short sleeve leotard and black tights. I was getting aroused at the thought and at that time I did not understand what was going on. I remember the day I first put them on, coming home from school with anticipation of trying on her leotards. I was tremendously aroused and feeling ashamed about putting on her silky panties but couldnt stop, and continued to slip into the tights and stepped into the leotard, pulled it up, fitting my arms in the sleeves. I reached back and wrestled the zipper in back and I was closed in them!!. Dressing in leotards and tights, sis's and mom's bathing suits and pantyhose gave me tingly girly feeling inside for the first time, and been hooked on wearing these garments ever since, wondering why.

[jacques]

my dressing started when I was young - I wanted to be Robin Hood s I put on a pair of tights!

[Mindy Fey]

I gotta agree with Randee, it seems like a lot of us have this one moment in our early years where it just clicks. For me it was in 5th or 6th grade when I going through puberty and realized that the sunday ads from Macy's, JC Penny and Sears ads had pictures of girls in bras and panties. I would cut the pictures out and hide them under my stereo in my room. I loved seeing these beatiful women in cute, lacy bras and panties. Then one day I wanted to know what it would feel like to wear sexy underwear. So I snuck into my mom's room and found her underwear drawer. I remember how my heart was racing with the excitement, the thrill of doing something so wrong and so sexy. And putting on the panties was amazing, the soft fabric felt so good and the the blue, flowery underwear was so cute looking. And from there it progressed, I told a friend about it and we both started dressing. We would take turns, i would dress up and he would dry hump against me as I lay on my stomach and vise versa. Needless to say, they are experiences I will never forget and crossdressing will always be a part of my life.

[JoselineWalthorne]

Humiliation? No I can actually remember vividly i wasnt ashamed to play with a gender specified toy or game from the begining
My brain didnt process it like that even though i was teased for it. I liked what i liked, I did what i did and never felt ashamed of anything unless i was taken to church. I never felt ashamed of anything, only unclean. after i stopped going to church and moved in with my mom that unclean feeling developed into shame. What made me Grow into CD was playing games where you can choose details of your character and i would always play the girl, later that turned into my alter ego in which i put all the things i was "ashamed" of and lived in that world where i could be that person im so ashamed to be. as time passed this character i made,took on aspects of the real me, or better yet, i became her.
I guess the alter ego i created was someone i developed to end that part of my brain that feels ashamed of being me. Now i am ashamed and get depressed when i have to turn the real me off and go out as a fake me.

( Google translate wont help any of this, and i am sorry)

[sometimes_miss]

As Confucius said, wearing of women's clothes stimulates the same type of pleasurable feeling we get from just being in close proximity to an attractive woman.
Perhaps not so much. Humans actually need the physical touch of another, not just being in proximity with them. I can't be sure, but I've never gotten pleasurable feelings just from being 'in close proximity' to an attractive woman, and I've spent a whole lot of time very, very close to many of them on the NYC subways. though if he feels that, I guess it's possible. Anyone else here get pleasure just by being 'in close proximity' to pretty women, other than the smell of her scent (because that wouldn't be part of the sensation of just wearing female clothing on your own)?

[TheHiddenMe]

The desire started early for me; I can't remember the exact year, but I was younger than 10 and wanted to try on a dress (unfortunately it was too small).

I can vividly remember Halloween when I was in 6th grade and one of my boy classmates came to class dressed as a girl, and I was jealous.

Fast forward a number of years, and a work colleague (ironically, the younger sister of one of my 6th grade classmates) brought in a picture of her son crossdressed for Halloween, and I was jealous then too.

So for me the urges are at around 50 years and counting.

[Tina_gm]

I think I might have answered this, but for me, it started as a teenager. My 1st cognitive moment happened in a bar. I was under age, as was several others in there that night. There was this girl, probably a college girl, and I noticed her sitting at the bar, so half drunk me decided to go buy a drink and start a convo. As I was doing so, I got a sudden feeling of wanting to wear what she was wearing, look like how she looked. I wanted to BE her. Freaked out would be way to mild of a statement for how I was feeling about this. I blamed it on the beer and went straight home. It didn't take long at all for those feelings to start re surfacing. Imagining myself being one of the cheerleaders, I started noticing all the girls outfits.... There the intense denial and repression was started. A battle that waged on for 30 years, one day finally I waved the white flag.

Now, looking back, I was not one of the bigger tougher boys. I was kind of fem but didn't realize it at the time. I had a much better relationship with my father than I did with my mother. I am an only child, and my mother being quite a bit anti social, there were never many people around when I grew up. I was sheltered quite a bit. Had things been different, I imagine I likely would have discovered it sooner.

[SusanCACD]

Wow, this this thread really took off...
As long as I can remember my mother loved to tell stories about what I looked like as a baby and young boy. Our neighbors told her I should have been a girl or the teacher that asked if I was a little girl or a little buy. There were alot of these stories, of course everybody laughed (their are 8 kids in our family) plus whoever she was talking to. I never recalling laughing.......
Susan

[Stephj]

For it started at age 4 or 5 my mom and sister would find me in the lingerie section on the store feeling and looking at all the bras and panties then at age 8went into my sisters room one day and snatch a bra and pair of panties went to my room and put them on I was in heaven wore them for weeks till I got caught childhood memeraes

[CallmeAlice]

As a kid growing up I hated to be called girly and such. But I finally grew out of that.

I do think these kinds of things (for the most part) start in childhood and teenage years, I started to CD when I was 12 so from my view, yeah.

[PrivateXDresser]

Puberty did it for me. I was curious and went through my mother's drawers when I was home alone and was turned on by the feel of her slips. Later, II found my sisters satiny panties, and in high school, I snagged a pair of pantyhose from a friend's house. I'm pretty sure everybody knew it was me, but nobody ever said anything. In public, I was as "normal" as could be. In the 70's, there were the shiny polyester shirts that I did wear in public. I bought some unitards, which I think weirded-out my now ex-wife. That may have been a major factor in the divorce. Everything else has been a secret and still is. I simply love the feel of women's underwear on me and especially on any lady friends I have had. I have never told anyone. It is a fetish, for sure, but I don't know if there is a way to do anything else.

[Sharon B.]

One of my older sister's dressed me up as a girl when I was five and she was nine or ten. Ever since then I have dressed as a woman. I have been caught by the sister that dressed me to start with only to be told by her that I am sick and need professional help. That was forty plus years ago. I often wonder what she would say if she knew I still dress and wear makeup as a woman.
I would be dressed now if it wasn't for dislocating my shoulder and still having problems with it now, hopefully by fall I can get back into dressing as a woman.

[stephambers32]

I don't recall the age I started to think about dressing, but I remember looking at shoes/nylons/dresses when I was very young. Didn't really try dressing until I was in my teens. Than I would start to look at woman's magazines, for pointers on makeup and dressing.

[Anneliese]

I remember nylons and high heels as a kid. That's about it. I don't think I wore anything else until I was in my late 40s.

[Jeri Ann]

For me it was more than a desire to cross dress. As early as I can remember I wanted to be, and felt like I should have been, a girl. I remember praying that God would make me a girl. It had nothing to do with the clothes. I really didn't like little girls clothes that much but would have worn them to be a girl.

Now, of course, feminine clothing is what I prefer, for the look, the feel, and the fit.

The fact that I am a DES son, with every possible complication of that condition, including testicular cancer, may have had something to do with it.

So for me, yes a desire started in early childhood, but not just to cross dress, but cross the gender line which in time involved way more than clothes.

Jeri

[Anneliese]

I chuckle at the manly-men here who are all about heterosexuality. If you dress you are NOT a manly-man. Period.

I have (boringly, I admit...) never been with anyone sexually besides women.

This will be...added to...before I die.

I recognize that I have been further than many, but not as far as others.

Newsflash: If you are posting on this site you are not a manly-man.

If they even truly exist.

[steftoday]

Absolutely.
For me, I knew something was different at about age 5-6, and I began wearing female clothes about age 12.

[NancySue]

For me it did. Around 8 or 9, the next door neighbor girls were playing "dress up" and asked me to "play". The first time they put stockings on me, I was hooked and have been hooked (happily) ever since. I'm married with a supportive wife, (thanks). I now own an extensive wardrobe, makeup, shoes, jewelry, etc. We've done everything possible to make me look female, i.e. hip and butt pads, breast forms, push up bras, etc. She says I'm very passable and still awes at how well I can walk in heels....but it's still nylons, thigh highs, pantyhose that are #1.