Muted reaction being out?

[JanePeterson]

So I have noticed that many girls here get much excitement/enjoyment from being out in public... I had my first day "out" with my SO today, which went great in that an angry mob didn't stone me to death... But it didn't come with a huge surge of emotion/excitement - anyone else not impressed with being out and about? I should mention, I've always hated shopping in male mode, and it may just be bleed over from HIM... Nice to know I can leave the house without the police being called though!

[lingerieLiz]

Congratulations. Happy that you have had a great experience. Being real is about being inconspicuous and doing what women are doing.

[bstewart9901]

Jane....very interesting. My first time out in public was exciting, nerve racking, and just full of so many other emotions. My first time was alone. I wonder if it is different since you were with your SO. It may have made you feel safer and brought some normalcy to your outing (since I am sure you two spend lots of time together). I have only been out in public a few times, so I am not an expert on this :)

[Laurana]

The first time was "exciting". Anything after that is just day to day activities. I don't dress outrageously, strut around and over play things. I just dress and go. Nothing special.

[JanePeterson]

The first time was "exciting". Anything after that is just day to day activities. I don't dress outrageously, strut around and over play things. I just dress and go. Nothing special.

That was basically my feeling! Just felt like ME walking around with a tad more wiggle - having the SO to run defense probably accounts for the lack of panic - felt good to just blend as a woman

Side note - it being busy holiday season I felt the larger crowds made it EASIER to blend as opposed to the proverbial empty store outing many folks choose - when you are just part of the crowd nobody seems to pay you much mind... Did catch an old letcher watching my bum though!! 😳

[LydiaL]

... Did catch an old letcher watching my bum though!! ��

Oh come now, give me a break. I was just jealous that my bum is not so nice as yours! :worship:

[irene9999]

I've been out a few times and definitely the first time is the more exciting outing, after that I tried to dress to blend and generally most people just go about their business. I do enjoy going to the women's section at the store and just being one of the ladies shopping there as opposed to going in male mode

[deebra]

Glad you did it and so nice to hear your S.O. was there for support, I'm sure many more good times ahead.

[Lena]

I wouldn't get out my door without the neighbors spotting me. Glad you can.

[Brooke B]

Every time I've been out I've always had a ton of fun, mixed with nerves and anxiety too. The last time I went I anticipated this big day with many things to do. Maybe to many as it spoiled the mood. I went home early that day and was in a funk for about two days. I couldn't explain it as it was weird and I've never felt like that before. It has passed for sure and am planning the next trip which I know I'll know I'll have fun for sure. I think my deal was that I was alone. Don't over think it too much. Going to the mall is a pretty big step. I know I haven't worked up the nerve to hit the mall but then again I could never look as good as you do either. But congrats on your first time out and the next will just be that much better.

[Robin414]

When I'm full femme I find I get a lot of attention but since I've adopted a 'tween' look for most oitings in public...I get it. Most reactions are more positive than when I was a 'full on guy'. That said, the look is a fine line, I was at a convenience store this evening (mascara, powder, skinny jeans, light lipstick, clear nail polish, woman's down jacket with pink lining) and two male attendants didn't bat an eye, another guy walked in and...can you hear the crickets chirping, or was that the sound of his eye lids flapping...I think he was checking out my ass LOL 😂

I thought, where's the drama people!? I seriuosly do not look like a 'guy' but not a chic either...right? 😕

[MissDanielle]

It's definitely easier to go shopping during the holiday season.

[Kevyn53]

Jane, so far I've always been out with my wife. She's in a wheelchair and I'm starting to think that on one hand more people look at her than me. On the other hand since I'm getting her chair in and out of our car, and pushing in and out of stores, I'm probably getting checked out more than I realize. So far the only person who ever made a comment was a 4 year old girl who started yelling that there was a boy in the bathroom. That was a couple of years ago. This last summer my wife and I were on a vacation and she had a digestive problem and I rushed her into a ladies room at a truck stop and had to make several trips in and out to get her fresh clothes and other supplies. All the women in the restroom just acted like I was supposed to be there. Congrats on your day out!

[Eryn]

I think that most of us experience an adrenaline rush the first few times that we are out. Then it becomes more routine and simply feels more comfortable than being out in male mode. If you've avoided the "rush" then you've simply matured your experience faster than most.

Having a wing-girl is a definite positive. Simply having another person around validates one's experience and makes functioning in public much more natural.

[Nikki A.]

I was a. bit anxious the first few times out. After that it just became an enjoyable experience. I don't really care if I pass or not, hopefully I do. Been to straight and LBGT friendly places and never had a problem.

[pamela7]

i feel it becomes more muted with more outings, but compared to my "shopping nightmare" experiences as a guy before, now i "get" shopping, it's a joy.

going out early days with my SO, she was quite scared as she thought she had to protect/defend me, which was lovely but laughable. once she relaxed into it then it all got easier. sometime i feel like not dressing too OTT just kind of an intuition and i'll go more andro - that seems to work out as some people are discomforted by cd-ing.

[CynthiaD]

My first couple of times out, I felt a slight rush as I got out of the car. But once I got inside the store (or whatever) the normal routine took over and it just seemed natural. These days, going out en femme just feels normal and natural. The best part is actually the aftermath. I think back to how I interacted with others as a woman and was treated as a woman, and it gives me a warm feeling inside.

[Krisi]

Like Lena, I don't want my neighbors to know about my little "hobby" so I don't walk out the door dressed, I do what I can and finish in the car in a parking lot somewhere. Same for coming home. It's a PITA but you have to do what you have to do.

I find it enjoyable to be out in public as Krisi. I walk in the malls or the downtown area and the tourist part of town. I try not to talk to people though as I want to create the illusion of a female, not a crossdresser and my female voice can't carry on a conversation, only "good morning" and such.

When I go out, I dress to blend in so it's what the women are wearing for the place and time of day. Nothing flashy.

[Tracii G]

Same here Jane my first time was during the holiday season at a big mall.
I must have blended very well I suppose.
Now it just feels normal.

Robin414 I see guys/girls checking my backside quite frequently and I don't mind.
Guys will look away if you catch them, girls just smile and look you in the eyes.

[Cheryl_Layton]

I can identify with that when I went for a new wig with my sister. We were walking round the town and I felt the same muted feeling.

However, for a bit of excitement, then I suggest going out alone! In a safe area, of course. That’s when you are flying without a safety net and the adrenaline flows.

But really, the way that your dressing is validated is by meeting others if you can and having somewhere to meet up, either at theirs or a group meeting. This has happened to me recently and it really is nice to have to think about what you are going to wear for an outing with others.

It also forces issues such as when you’ve arranged to meet you have to dress so as to not let people down. Also, when meeting in a town or city you have to find parking and walk to your rendezvous. You have to get there alone but the reward is meeting like-minded friends for a great time.

[reb.femme]

...But it didn't come with a huge surge of emotion/excitement - anyone else not impressed with being out and about?...

Jane, have you considered counselling, one on one and all that? What do you mean no surge of excitement? :heehee: It's nice to know that the pitch forks and flaming torches didn't make an appearance though.

Each to their own and all that. I don't like reality TV, whilst others love it. Strangely, I don't mind shopping for male me, but it is a chore. But girl shopping, really does fire me. It's not that I feel I should, it just does. The truly important part is that you are out and about en femme and loving it.

Becky

[Stephanie47]

I think it comes down to a basic question of "Why am I doing this?" I heard the calling to venture out long before I discovered this site. First I went driving. After I experienced the cool breeze caressing my legs I stepped out of the car. I ran some mundane errands like returning library books or getting a newspaper out of the "free" boxes. I did some Halloween stints. In the end I found it rather boring. I had no place to really go or to do something special or different. It came down to just wearing women's clothing with nothing achieved. Of course, there is always the prospect of the mob lynching, but, with a little skill that's always be avoided. I feel a lot more comfortable at home enjoying activities and getting work done.

I think everyone should experience the moment at least once or twice. I went deep sea fishing once back in 1978. That was enough for me. I can say I did it once. Boring. And, it would have been a lot cheaper to go to the fishmonger.

[JanePeterson]

Jane, have you considered counselling, one on one and all that? What do you mean no surge of excitement? :heehee: It's nice to know that the pitch forks and flaming torches didn't make an appearance though.
Becky

Counseling starts this afternoon 😳 - I just read so many elated "first time out" posts here and was curious if I would have the same lift from being seen, but it didn't register as a big rush for me, just felt like me, with a sprinkle of terror about my voice

[Julie Denier]

My first time out (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?214689-quot-This-just-got-real-quot-my-first-time-out-dressed!&highlight=) definitely was exciting - most of the time I was preoccupied with the realization that I was really doing it. As the evening wore on, I did relax a bit. Yet since then, I haven't felt an overwhelming desire to do it again. I definitely would, if presented with a similar opportunity (i.e. accompanied by others in a safe environment). But I have no desire to venture out solo and try to blend with civilians.

[AngelaYVR]

Each to her own! But at least give it another try. I know that when I go out with my wife that it feels different to when I go out by myself.

[Katey888]

Interesting perspective, Jane... a few things to consider about our little community of experience sharers here...


We all have different motivations for doing this - for some, the idea of doing something so wrong (fooling people; doing something contrary to the norm; perhaps being sexually risqué...) is central to why they do something similar to what others of us do...? The outer appearance is similar, but the motivations can be very different beneath the surface...
We also all respond in different ways and have different thresholds of anxiety and stress - perhaps you felt more supported being with your SO (I certainly feel more comfortable being with someone else) and it may be a different story if you were on your own...
Finally, don't forget that this is a forum and many of the experiences and stories here are uncorroborated and must be taken at face value - this wouldn't be the first forum to be subject to a little embellishment and 'spin', not to say outright fiction sometimes (although those stories do tend to be a little more fantastic.. ;))



Seems to me that your motivation for doing this is more about an expression of your femme aspect and that ultimately, while you may feel a little nervous first time, the overwhelming feeling would be of something right and natural for you to be doing. :)

Personally, I could happily never 'femme' shop again, but I do like the idea of getting out for a bit of socialising and dancing - we're all different, even those that are looking to satisfy that expression part... :D

Katey x

[Angela Marie]

I have been going out pretty consistently now for about 8 years. Of course the first few times were quite the rush. I have now settled into a mode where it feels natural and the appropriate presentation for me.

[reb.femme]

...just felt like me, with a sprinkle of terror about my voice

I think many will concur with that. I swear that my heart was pounding so hard, it could be heard across the street.

Becky

[sara.rafaela]

Again, interesting. My first time out came in steps, each more nerve wracking than the rest. Out of the hotel for a short walk. Into the car. A drive. Out to a bar... first step out of the car. I must say now, going out is anti climactic. I miss the excitement.

[jenniferinsf]

i think that is the best we can hope for...simply be ourselves and go about our business normally

[JanePeterson]

Well... Tried it again alone this time... And despite being a chicken and using self checkout, pretty much the same - no big fuss or fear, and it felt good/natural to blend in - and I have no idea where he misconceptions about a ladies room being clean/less nasty began... Just as gross as any men's room!!

[Suzie Petersen]

Jane: - and I have no idea where he misconceptions about a ladies room being clean/less nasty began... Just as gross as any men's room!!

Isn't that the truth!! When I started venturing into the ladies room on my girl time, I was shocked to learn that the tidy women are not all that tidy after all! I mean ... I understand the mechanics of it, wanting to not sit on the seat and all, but considering the acrobatics involved, how does a girl manage to pee all over the seat??? "LOL". I suppose what surprised me more is that they apparently do not feel inclined to wipe off the seat afterwards either.

The other indication that women are not as tidy as one would think is when you look at the shoe isle at Target or Walmart on any one of those stores. The amount of shoes they can leave behind on the floor is just astonishing :)

- Suzie

[Tracii G]

I agree on the ladies rooms, women can be just as nasty LOLOL.