Age appropriate fashion?

[Krististeph]

Yes, I wish that was me in my avatar. But no, I'm not that young, pretty or slim. I'm not particularly old or ugly, nor am I brave enough to show my face yet.

After seeing so many people here dressing so nicely, and very age appropriate, I get a bit bothered by the fact that while I have and do dress in age appropriate clothes, I've been attracted to younger generation fashions quite a lot lately.

Miniskirts, short dresses (I can fit into some juniors' 13 or XL sizes if there is a bit of stretch). Stuff a good 30 years too young for me. I don't wear these items out... I'm not trying to pass as a 20 something or a teen.

But there are some awfully cute dresses and outfits available for younger people. Now I know that GGs also sometimes have issues with age appropriate dressing, I'm not trying to artificially recreate that. The dress i'm wearing now: Black, sleeveless stretch knit top with a teacup-type skirt striped with alternating horizontal perforated faux leather stripes and more stretch knit fabric. Social/party type dress- not school/work.

It looks adorable on smaller models, at size 13/14- meh. And in my male torso shape- I'd never wear it outside. But I love the style.

So what is the issue really? I'm not even sure what questions to ask... I do like getting a bit overdressed while just hanging around the house (especially during the Christmas Break), I would imagine more than a few of us also do the same.

I guess part of me is worried about being seen as some kind of letch, trying to associate with people inappropriately younger than me, but I just said I don't go out like this! It's almost like some kind of weird archeo-CD-guilt or something...

Does anyone else care to comment? Anyone else dress like this?

I know as we grow older, we do try to project a youthful image of sorts in defense of aging, I don't think that is specifically what i am doing, or at least not the majority why i am doing it.

[JanePeterson]

Depends if you're trying to pass in public... If not, then who cares? Wear what makes you feel happy 😀

[Sky]

I'm pretty conscious of my age. I can wear a miniskirt, but only in -ahem- private circumstances. Out in the street, it's knee long skirts. Same with heels, makeup, etc. Not only I don't feel bad about it, I like it. I never looked like a hot young girl, but now I look like a moderately attractive mature lady.

[reb.femme]

I'm also in the category of wanting to wear some of the cute stuff I see out and about. Absolutely head over heels with this dress at the moment :daydreaming: http://www.dorothyperkins.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?Ntt=chi%2bchi&storeId=12552&productId=21483413&urlRequestType=Base&categoryId=&langId=-1&productIdentifier=product&catalogId=33053.

We have a saying for older people dressed in younger clothing, "mutton dressed as lamb". So I always try to keep my style reasonable, but never too old either. It really is difficult getting older, but so long as you aren't dressed as a hooker when out, we're free to dress as we wish, so long as the wife can stomach it in my house. However, if we want to look like hookers when out, we are free to do that, but watch out for unwanted attention...or wanted attention? :eek:

I'm 56 right now, but always describe myself as being one that sees the world through the eyes of a 25 year old. The body may be aging but my brain doesn't want to accept that, so I don't. I also get that letch worry, so whilst I get on with the youngsters at my local group, I'm always conscious of being thought, the oldest swinger in town. :heehee:

Becky

[Laura912]

Got called a cougar by one of our friends here based on a Valentines posting. In private, who cares what one wears? Go for it. If out and about, maybe a little caution is necessary. Maybe that mini skirt you wore during the construction would be interesting! :heehee:

[kittie60]

There are alot of stylish dresses out there for us older gals group. I have a few above the knee dresses and skirts I'll wear depending on what I'm going to and some short shorts for summer but that again depends on what I'm doing. However as the rule I dress in my own age bracket and I really do love it.

[CynthiaD]

I have a couple of very short dresses that I wear as house dresses. But when I go out, it's knee-length or longer.

[pamela7]

if there's a part of us that wanted to dress when young but didn't, then that desire will remain inside, the cd will bring it out, you just gotta do it, then hope you get over it and feel happier dressed more age-appropriate. honestly tho, i reckon age-ism is another issue, while mutton dressed as lamb is still mutton, it enjoys feeling lamb again and there is nothing wrong in that, except in the eyes of the judgers ...

i'm really into short skirts at the moment, and frankly i don't care whether other people don't like that, i do like it!

[Adriana Moretti]

I'm guilty of that too....if I'm home who cares right? nobodys looking anyway, and this is suposed to be fun right? I will rock real silly outfits at home I wouldnt dare wear in public like short leather flare shirts with crop tops and ankle boots with too high of a heel, slinky tops and short skirts are usually in order. In public its a totaly different story...but at home who cares...

[Kelly63]

I know the feeling. Now that I am over 50 I have purged a bunch of very very short dresses and skirts. I did keep some mini skirts to show off the legs

[Stephanie47]

Ok, I'm in my late sixties. It's difficult to get a good feel of the attire a woman my age wears, because, it is difficult to find a woman in a dress these days. Most fashion magazines or ads seem to be selling to younger women. Style wise I stay with dresses that are usually knee length, plus or minus two inches. I wear midi length, but, not mini length. As a senior I do not have to dress like my eastern European grandmother. I have a fifteen year old granddaughter, who is very fashion conscious. If I were to dress like her I'd be a candidate for the old folks home based on a clinical diagnosis of absolutely no fashion sense.

[MissDanielle]

I'm 31 and don't plan on ever wearing things that make me look like I'm in high school...

[Bunty]

I prize elegance. I believe that an age-appropriate look is fundamental to elegance, and that elegance is not limited by age.

That's not to say that a cross-dresser cannot dress up or down (if that makes sense), given the right circumstances. :battingeyelashes:

[bridget thronton]

I tend to dress my age - for the most part (uncomfortable in really short skirts and skin revealing tops)

[Rhonda Jean]

I'm going the opposite direction. As variable as these things tend to be I could go back to dressing too young, but I've really been transitioning out of that for quite a while. I never dress just to stay home. I've always felt like it was either mini dresses or frumpy. A couple of years ago I tried long dresses in the summer and found that those were harder to look good in than a mini dress. Tried pleats and A line skirts, sheaths, you name it. I just couldn't make it work.

I've always loved jeans and heels. I've expanded that to slacks and leggings and heels. I lean more toward tunic tops. It's rare that I spend more than 20 minutes on makeup, and often half that. I was a freak for big hoops and other really big earrings and necklaces for a long time. Now even my jewelry is understated.

I think some of this is due to me cutting my hair. I'm just not as into it since I don't have to spend such a ridiculous amount of time on my hair. Part of it is I can dress anytime I want (except work) and I don't feel the need to be so over the top with it. Another thing is I've been doing this for so long that it's just not the event it used to be.

I'm not a slouch. I get my nails done, brows done, and I wear nice stuff that fits and is appropriate for where I'm going. I'm just not looking for attention like I used to be. It was getting to where I was reaching, to say the least. A great benefit of my toned-down look is I'm apparently a lot more approachable. I get a lot of compliments, even on my 20 minute makeup.

[Krististeph]

... As a senior I do not have to dress like my eastern European grandmother. I have a fifteen year old granddaughter, who is very fashion conscious. If I were to dress like her I'd be a candidate for the old folks home based on a clinical diagnosis of absolutely no fashion sense.

A CD friend from Rockford told me of a story at an outlet mall we both occasion:

She was dressed, doing the rounds for the holidays, three teen girls walked to pass her on the boardwalk, one made a comment to the effect of "nice dress there buddy..." (this mall was out farther than the far suburbs, hence the less-than-normal-attitude).

At this, she turned to face them square, and proceeded to tell them off:
"I may be wearing a dress, but it is a $300 dress. At least I make the effort to look decent and attractive. My face is not pretty, but I cannot help that. Look at the clothes you are wearing- do you not have any sense of pride? You think you can pass judgement on how I look, when you look like lazy slobs?

The three hoodlums turned tale and left quickly with no words...

Thanks for responding!!!:cheer::cheer:

[Angela Marie]

I began to dress more age appropriatly as I started to go out more. It just makes it easier to blend in. I love leggings and tights and usually try to pair them with a nice top.

[Teresa]

Krististeph,
If it's only round the house why worry too much, if your legs can take a mini skirt go ahead and wear one, I still slip mine on with a Tshirt and find a quiet spot in the garden to soak up some sun, just have to be careful of the give away tan line.
I admit I don't wear my maid dress too often but it hasn't been thrown out. I will admit most of my heels are too high .
Up to point if you feel good in yourself and your figure can take it wear what you enjoy, maybe it needs a rethink if passing is your goal . I wouldn't say just own it is the correct answer because you do risk looking a p*** !

[sherri]

I think there is a little bit of PC in the CD community about age appropriate dress and blending in etc, but I rarely see anything overbearing on the subject. I think appropriate dress is important in mainstream circulation, although I think there is too much of a conservative expectation for older women, be they GG or CD. I mean, I luv it when I see an older GG stylin' it in a shorter (but not too short) dress and heels and stuff. At any rate, most of my outings are at the clubs and I think in that environment a gurl should be able to wear whatever is fun for her, regardless of age, as long as she doesn't take it to the absurd. I recently had a conversation about this very thing recently with a club owner and some other patrons who have seen my look evolve over the last 15 years. They were very complimentary and one mentioned my age appropriate dressing, to which I replied that I feel like I tend to wear skirts too short for my age, but since my legs still look okay and it's fun for me, I have no plans to change. They smiled and assured me I looked fine, and even remarked that it's actually nice to see someone with some fashion flair as most of the crowd around here tend to dress down for some inexplicable (to me, anyway) reason. Anyway, I think attitude and friendliness are way more important than what we wear, so be nice and be yourself, I say.

[reb.femme]

...honestly tho, i reckon age-ism is another issue, while mutton dressed as lamb is still mutton, it enjoys feeling lamb again and there is nothing wrong in that, except in the eyes of the judgers ...

Oh dear, good old British PC restrictions rear their head again. Ageism? Sexism? Whatever ism? Keep the socialist agenda and finger pointing out of a post about age appropriate clothing. And who is judging the judgers? It's called the right to an opinion and should not be dumbed down with stock issue, PC nonsense.

If a person is happy to go out and stand out, fine and what they do at home, fine. But from what I see here in the main, most people want to fly under the radar, not set off the Claymore trip wire.

Becky

[Katey888]

I guess part of me is worried about being seen as some kind of letch, trying to associate with people inappropriately younger than me, but I just said I don't go out like this! It's almost like some kind of weird archeo-CD-guilt or something...


Yeah - it is... You've been absorbing too much of the weird, blindingly dogmatic, PC-correct (surely an oxymoron for this community?) dictats from folk that need to convince everyone (and themselves) that we're all completely normal and should therefore dress as completely normally as regular GGs (who vary hugely depending on location, social strata, personal attributes, etc. etc.) :)

Clearly, you can wear what you like at home - in fact, you can wear what you like anywhere, but it's more the venue appropriateness that will grab you over the age thing - or in some cases get you grabbed by someone else.. :eek:

Even GGs seek fashions that can edge them towards youthfulness - no need for anyone to be shy of desiring that universal whim...

Katey x

[samantha rogers]

It strikes me as funny that after a lifetime spent in fear of being ourselves that even when we accept ourselves and venture out we still live in fear... Is this outfit age appropriate? Is my dress to short? Etc According to who and why care?
From my point of view it's a matter of dressing to look good according to what you like.
No, I don't mean dressing like a tramp or a teeny bopper lol or wearing spike heels to Walmart giggle
But isn't it really a matter of trying a look and seeing if you can pull it off?
It's about style and elegance for sure, but that doesn't mean one needs to look like an old frump. Many beautiful GGs in LA or NY pull off styles that you would never see a woman of a similar age wearing in Peoria. If it works for you then wear it.

[NicoleScott]

Oh the plight of the out-and-abouters who strive to blend. Fashion rules to be followed. Ecstasy is being un-noticed.
Closet dressers have it better. Not bound by rules, we do what we want, which is dressing to please only ourselves.
I'm no teen, but I have a schoolgirl sailor uniform that I love to wear. Don't worry, I won't wear it in your favorite restaurant or shop, only at home. You're welcome. Still want all of us to come out of the closet? Be careful what you wish for.

[Krisi]

Yea, I wondered about that avatar photo. I suspect many of these are not actually the person writing the posts.

There's no law telling you how to dress and if you're dressing in private, you can wear clothes designed for hot young teenagers or even dress as a baby (or six year old girl).

If you're going out in public or want to see yourself as a "real" woman, you should dress appropriately for your age and body type. Someone will probably come along and make a comment about "granny dresses". That's not what I'm talking about. Older women who are not overweight can often look good in clothing intended for women younger than themselves but the line is looking respectable and classy. Dress yourself up and take photos. Now study the photos and ask yourself what you see. A classy woman or "mutton dressed as lamb".

[jenniferinsf]

as i was seeing my therapist about my trans/cd issues she explained that jennifer was still an adolescent in my mind and therefore the desire to wear sorter and more revealing clothes...the therapist was slightly younger than me and dressed neutral (i am not a big fan of the look) and my wife keeps on me about more appropriateness

my wife and i agree that black leggings with my shorter skirts is more acceptable to society/her. so when she and i go out...leggings it is.

i have some loner skirts but don't really like the feel/drape

wrt to tops she bought a gorgeous eileen fisher pull over blouse that to me is a bit frumpy to in her eyes it is what i should be wearing.....at a minimum i try to keep the number of buttons done up on my blouses when she is around...although i do like a hint of bra showing

what can i say....it is how i see myself

[Rachael Leigh]

Kristi you are so right the younger girls do have some cute stuff and like you I love it and I do have a skater skirt or two ,
But when I go out I try to blend and not draw attention so even though I would love to buy a lot of those clothes I stay with jeans and leggings but will wear longer skirts in summer. Short shorts too I love. Yes I think we all have a thing for theses clothes

[Stephanie47]

A CD friend from Rockford told me of a story at an outlet mall we both occasion:

She was dressed, doing the rounds for the holidays, three teen girls walked to pass her on the boardwalk, one made a comment to the effect of "nice dress there buddy..." (this mall was out farther than the far suburbs, hence the less-than-normal-attitude).

At this, she turned to face them square, and proceeded to tell them off:
"I may be wearing a dress, but it is a $300 dress. At least I make the effort to look decent and attractive. My face is not pretty, but I cannot help that. Look at the clothes you are wearing- do you not have any sense of pride? You think you can pass judgement on how I look, when you look like lazy slobs?

The three hoodlums turned tale and left quickly with no words...

Thanks for responding!!!:cheer::cheer:

Nice story. My granddaughter has a lot of fashion sense and is never ever looking like a slob. What's cute on a 15 year old is not going to be cute on a 65 year old. The only thing I've kidded her lately has been wearing jeans that are intentionally manufactured with holes/slits/etc. I kidded her I could save her a lot of money by going to Goodwill and getting some old worn out jeans and steal a little battery acid from her father's car.

I think the best example of a woman NOT dressing appropriately was told by me several times. I worked in a highly professional office. I always wore dress slacks, shirt with collar, shined shoes, tie and my sports coat or suit jacket was hung on a hanger nearby. The office manager, a woman, frequently wore capri pants and sandals. She looked like she was at the beach. I never saw her wearing a dress in over twenty-five years. We dealt with attorneys, CPA's and business men and women. There were frequent occasions when our clients automatically assumed I was the person in charge because she was so ill attired it was an embarrassment.

So, it's also age appropriateness and what's appropriate for time and place.

[Jenniferathome]

Despite the protestations of some, there IS an age appropriate dress code and we all know it when we see it violated. And, just like pornography while we know it when we see it, the description is hard to put into a nicely packaged box.

For me, the violation of the rules it is simple and clear: when out in public, inappropriate age dressing is exactly the same as bad fashion. Of course, anyone can wear anything they like. The consequence is looking like a fool and having the general public deride you. No one has to care what others think. This applies to men and women. But, dressing appropriately, at any age, does NOT mean one must look frumpy. Well styled does NOT have an age requirement. Dressing inappropriately is just sad. One is not presenting the best of themselves

[flatlander_48]

Perhaps I would care more about blending if the relative standards weren't so low. As it is, I dress to look good. That's how Don has dressed historically and it is also how DeeAnn dresses. That said, I don't do skimpy tops that show acres of skin or skirts so short that it sounds like separating Velcro when you stand up after sitting in a chair. What works for me is colors/patterns that stand out as well as jewelry.

Below are a couple of examples. It is the same skirt in both, so the real length shows in the left photo. The lighting on the left doesn't do justice to the blazer as it is SO RED. Slighty odd pose on the right as I'm half sitting on a bar stool.

Anyway, the leather skirt probably takes it out of the realm of office-ready, but otherwise the look is very close to what Eddie Izzard calls Executive Transvestite. Sorry folks, but the Church Lady was never an option...

I forgot to mention that I turned 67 a couple of weeks ago.

DeeAnn

[Amanda Monica]

When dressing, I apply the same rules as I do for guy mode....1) a place for everything, and everything in its place, and 2) when in doubt, better to be overdressed than under.

In the comfort and privacy of my own home, anything goes.

In a public setting, age- and -- I would add - context appropriate. When Amanda, I shoot for Penelope Cruz or Jennifer Aniston on a business trip.

As a 46 y.o. man, I'd look ridiculous wearing a lot of what my 18 yo son wears. Not even because it's ugly yet cool (though some of it is) but b/c I'd look silly wearing a skater shirt, baggy shorts or skinny jeans and flip-flops, topped by a snapback cap and hemp bracelet. Nothing against that look, but silly on someone my age. And my personality. It would instantly telegraph "poseur" or "trying way too hard"

Same for femme mode. Nothing wrong with mini's or microskirts, sheer plunging tops, 5 in heels per se, it's a free country after all. But c'mon, not on a 46 y.o. woman out shopping for socks or office supplies at 2 in the afternoon. Maybe if going clubbing that night, but even that's a stretch since my shoulders and proverbial man hands exclude a lot of women's clothes (almost all of which are cut for female frames, even if the sizing is large enough).

All that said...I've grown to have a lot of respect and even awe, for the well "put-together" woman, regardless of age. It takes a huge database in your brain of styles and choices, what goes with what, what's flattering and what's not. All while trying to stay within a budget.

[reb.femme]

..Dress yourself up and take photos. Now study the photos and ask yourself what you see. A classy woman or "mutton dressed as lamb".


Despite the protestations of some, there IS an age appropriate dress code and we all know it when we see it violated...Of course, anyone can wear anything they like. The consequence is looking like a fool and having the general public deride you. No one has to care what others think...

These are my take in a nutshell. I wear some bits that just don't go together when I'm at home, but the light of day in the real world will never see me like that. I too have short skirts, but keep that for me.

I would love to look like your avatar pic Krististeph. Fantastic look...a big wow in fact!

Becky

[Sky]

Is this outfit age appropriate? Is my dress to short? Etc According to who and why care?

According to me, and I care.

I agree that having a devil may care attitude is healthy. But it does not work for all of us. I only feel good when I think I look reasonably ok. If I feel I look ridiculous, I feel terrible. Be it inside the house or at the mall. To each one his (her) own.

[Ally 2112]

I am in the closet so i do have different outfits ranging from younger to more acceptable of my age .What i wear just depends on my mood

[Zylia]

Appropriate dressing in all dimensions (be it your age, the weather, the occasion or location, etc.) is not something only CDs have to deal with. You can choose to ignore it or be oblivious about it, I don't care. The one thing I vehemently oppose is the notion that it's not possible to look nice over 30/40 while dressed 'appropriately'. Please stop doing your fashion research at Walmart.

[samantha rogers]

According to me, and I care.

I agree that having a devil may care attitude is healthy. But it does not work for all of us. I only feel good when I think I look reasonably ok. If I feel I look ridiculous, I feel terrible. Be it inside the house or at the mall. To each one his (her) own.

Lol If you are going to quote me at least include context. Note the very next sentence said: "it's a matter of dressing to look good according to what you like. "
Seems to me we are saying the same thing.
What I find amusing is hearing anyone setting up "rules" for others.
Look it boils down to taste and style.
Some people have it and some people don't.
And what looks good to one person may not look good to another.
Sure, there are obvious extreme faux pas that we all see, but it's important to separate occasion from age.
What looks good at a club is not going to look good at the mall and vice versa. What looks right for a ladies luncheon is going to look silly at the beach. That is all common sense ( unfortunately not all that common lol)
But the age thing is extremely relative and determined by personal style, body type, and the circles in which one moves. If you move in conservative circles, like an office or bank in Peoria, you are not going to dress in the same style as if you work in the fashion industry in New York or with a music recording studio in LA.
So, no, despite the "protestations of some"... Tee hee.... There are no "rules", just common sense and good taste .....as defined by yourself.

[Krististeph]

Thank you all for ringing in! As i read the comments, and other things, I'm thinking that this is actually synonymous to people who do cosplay. I know we have heard this comparison before- But I think it manifests differently:

In cosplay- people dress outside societal norms for fun. There is an element of psycho-social deviation, but within a certain allocation of societal mores: we know we are playing dress up- we understand that this is play, and typically associated with youth, but we want to do it because we do not want to be limited by arbitrary delineations.

CDs dressing to engage their inner girlhood is essentially the same, is is not? We know that this is likely to be seen as socially abrasive, and we therefore limit ourselves and dressing to our homes or locales. Yet we still have this desire to play out something we have missed.

Wow, this has been a really good thread- introspection, reflection, and lot of excellent views.

This goes beyond crossdressing- this evidently affects everyone... What a vindication of being able to dress up for fun! Thank you all.

There will always be people who are freaked out or taken aback at seeing something other than what they expected. Sometimes the variables just converge unpreferably- and many people will react poorly, for lack of ability to simply not react at all. I wonder if it is not time for us to begin to understand that some of these poor reactions are actually erroneous defenses? I think we all hope for this regardless.

This may be just a CD blog- but when many good minds get together and consider something- this really has the potential for effecting change. What a nice Christmas/solstice story! Thanks to everyone in this holiday season, for your input and ideas.

-Kristi (in a grey sweater knit stretch dress, flared/floppy skirt [admittedly perhaps a size too small]; changing into a copper colored stretch taffeta dress that looks much more mature with black silk blazer as a cover...)

[Acastina]

Good topic. At the opposite end, I'm always amazed at the number of CDs who seem to want to dress like their grandmothers. Dr. Freud would have a ball analyzing that one. Then there's region-appropriate fashion. I remember going to CD gatherings with folks from all over the country and being fashion-critiqued by sisters from back east where more formal, tailored dresses and such were the norm. Some of them thought California casual (you know, the way GGs dress here on the Left Coast) wasn't sufficiently ladylike.

But on the miniskirt issue, true micro-minis are for micro-skinny teens and twentysomethings. I have a few that are mid-thigh short, but they're pretty pedestrian in style, like this sassy senior citizen look:

[Pat]

I think Katy888 really has her finger on the problem -- venue appropriateness. Clothes I wear to the Mall are different than clothes I wear to the club not because I suddenly get younger (or older) but because they're appropriate to the place I'm at. If I'm with a mature crowd of people my age-isn, I'll trot out a flirtier outfit because, honey, I look good to a 60-something crowd. ;) But what would be sexy amongst my peers would be ridiculous if I was the oldest person in the room. I won't give up my miniskirt, but I won't inflict it on an unwilling audience either.

[Robin414]

I just bought a Helly Hansen 'Embla' jacket, looked kinda 'tween' on the rack. Got home and tried it on...holy crap...talk about a "figure flattering fit' and being a funky pearlescent rose color I'm pretty sure I don't look like a blendy 50 yr old woman in it...but it's sooo freaking cute I gotta have 😀

[Amanda Monica]

Good topic. At the opposite end, I'm always amazed at the number of CDs who seem to want to dress like their grandmothers. Dr. Freud would have a ball analyzing that one. Then there's region-appropriate fashion. I remember going to CD gatherings with folks from all over the country and being fashion-critiqued by sisters from back east where more formal, tailored dresses and such were the norm. Some of them thought California casual (you know, the way GGs dress here on the Left Coast) wasn't sufficiently ladylike.

But on the miniskirt issue, true micro-minis are for micro-skinny teens and twentysomethings. I have a few that are mid-thigh short, but they're pretty pedestrian in style.

Interesting point about regional differences, I didn't think about that. I could totally see such a divide. I'll need to remember that, next time I go out dressed outside of NYC.

[audreyinalbany]

I'll chime in here…as an early 60'sd gal, I feel like I can get away with shorter sweater dresses as long as I'm doing leggings with them. I pretty much follow my wife's lead on this…she's also sixty-ish and looks absolutely GREAT in a short sweater dress and Leggings.

[suzanne]

Some time ago, I had an experience that made me examine my tastes. I had bought a cute, shortish pencil skirt and sometime later put it together with a suitable top, cardigan and heels for another trip to the same dress shop. The twenty year old SA who knows me well (as a customer ) greeted me and complemented my outfit, saying "I have that same skirt and I just love it. I wore it until it fell apart ". My thought was, "OH crap. Now I'm dressing like a twenty year old" Not a good feeling when you're 55. Way inappropriate. I related the story to other SAs in the store, and made it quite clear that I wanted them to help me avoid that. "Don't worry. " they said, "What you find in this store is more classy than trendy, so she's dressing in a more mature way, not you dressing too young." Whew! They are also great at helping me avoid looking old and frumpy. There's a whole world of clothes out there that look good at any age, so you can look attractive even at advanced ages.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Oh dear ... throw in the hand grenade (age appropriate dressing) and watch the explosion with (fashion) police running everywhere lol. Here's another rule, men shouldn't dress as women :eek: ... ok broke that rule too so what's one more. We all know the rules, its just a question of whether we choose to follow them.

May be right that people think bad thoughts about my dress sense. Frankly though I suspect that most people don't notice or don't care. Feeling good about how I look is important to me and there's a disconnect between my male and female ages.

The older I get and I'm 65 next week the less I care about what people think. A heart attack this year reinforced the frailty of life and uncertainty about the future. So its short skirts and dresses for me showing good looking legs. A sprightly lady in her mid 70s came up to me yesterday and said how cool my dress looked (it was hot here) and how attractive. Made my day :) Then I had lunch with a girlfriend, greeted warmly by staff in a number of shops, exchanged smiles with passers-by. Another very enjoyable day out interacting with the real world dressed age inappropriately.

[PaulaQ]

We're all flouting society's most deeply held rules about gender. And we're worried about age appropriateness? Really?

Ageism, sexism, body shaming - a general sense of "let's liberate ourselves ... so we can live under more restrictions than where we started..."

Newsflash - according to a big ol' chunk of the western world, all the clothes being discussed are inappropriate at ANY age for the people in this thread!

So really, find things you feel good about wearing. Feel good about yourself. Also know that your presentation does send a message. If you care about that, then make sure you know what message you mean to send, and that it's the one you mean to send. (If you even care - again, since we're breaking the rules here, not caring seems like a valid answer to me.) There is nothing wrong to my mind about dressing to get attention - provided you are prepared to deal with that attention once you get it. (A lot of times, this is more about attitude than anything else.)

The rules about this stuff gain a whole lot more meaning if you are dealing with a workplace or other organized social setting. Also, a lot of women, both cis and trans, dress to AVOID attention, because sometimes the attention we get is a whole lot of hassle. But we live this way. Y'all are, for the most part, just visiting girl-town, so there's really no problem doing touristy things like mini-skirts. This is yet another example, perhaps, where living there is different than visiting!

[Pat]

But we live this way. Y'all are, for the most part, just visiting girl-town, so there's really no problem doing touristy things like mini-skirts.

I love that image! I sort of picture myself in my inappropriate clothing, camera-to-eye checking out the sights so I can write snappy one-liners about them on the postcards I send home. :) Thanks for that.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Kristi,
Dressing for your own pleasure. Hmmmm, isn't that kinda what we are all doing?
So who cares how we dress in privacy, or in public. If it pleases you, what others may think
is their own problem.
Of course there are certain situations where a "dress code" may be
given some thought, but there are certainly "age appropriate" fashions for each situation.
I can dress like that twenty something year old would dress at the mall, the club, wherever she may go.
Nobody should tell the fifty something year old to dress any other way than the way they want.http://reelz.com/trailer-clips/49396/my-cousin-vinny-clip
Much Love,
Kristyn

[sometimes_miss]

I guess part of me is worried about being seen as some kind of letch, trying to associate with people inappropriately younger than me
I never quite understood the whole 'act your age' thing. Nor do I understand why people start behaving differently as they age; I see my cohorts starting to change their speech, wear 'grandpa' style clothes, feeling like they should wake up with the sun and take naps 'because that's what we're supposed to do'. When I ask, I get told that 'well, we're not young anymore, so we shouldn't act like we are'. Really? Why not? Why is wearing clothes that someone might customarily wear in their late teens/early 20's any different from wearing girl or boy clothes? We go to great lengths to try to get people to accept our wearing clothes that are customarily restricted to women; yet, we self impose what we might think that others feel are age appropriate clothes, for ourselves (and others)? That's pretty crazy, if I do say so myself.

I don't consider myself lecherous because I hang out with much younger people. There's something really weird about believing that what we're turned on by will somehow magically change as we age, as if at some point, we will star to get sexually excited by short gray hair, wrinkled skin, and grandma styled clothes.

I watch as many of my friends intentionally change themselves into old people. Probably because they really believe that they're supposed to be that way. I think it's nuts, myself. I may not be able to do all the things I used to do, or as often, but I'm not going to start sitting in a rocking chair reminiscing about 'the good old days' any time soon. Tomorrow's the 'good old days'. And then the next day. When you stop believing that, life is pretty much over.

Age appropriate. What a ridiculous concept.

[Tracii G]

There are no rules wear whatever you want.

[Dana44]

I have to agree with sometimes_miss. I was looking at a site the had 20-60+ girls and what the dress code is. I felt the sixty year old girls looked better than the twenty year olds. The dress is just more refined and just as pretty as them

[Jenniferathome]

I have violated the known rules with this outfit: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?234674-New-wig-and-haircut-before-and-after without knowing it. I thought I looked good. My wife gave me feedback I didn't like because I like the skirt in question but she commented that it was too short, too young and too reminiscent of a "school-girl" look. That is not what I was going for and it's embarrassing to think I was out like this. Not that I care what strangers think about me, but I that was dressed poorly. I received some additional feedback from a woman I respect and the critique was exactly the same. Along with that feedback came this:

"It's all very subtle and I think that women are especially attuned to the messages that clothes give because, well, we control the message and the desired effect on men. Men, on the other hand, just look at a woman and think either "wow" or "neutral".

Just try to understand that when you dress a certain way, you are giving messages about yourself and this gives an impression of what you want."

While the wear-want-you-want crowd is somewhat vocal, I thought the "message" idea above was new and interesting. What "message" do you want to send? Are you dressed that way?

Food for thought.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Well Jenn there is hope for you yet. I saw that outfit posted and resisted the temptation to question your usually passionate defence of the dress code. "Subtle messages" really has no deeper meaning than simply conforming with age conventions.

BTW, I thought your outfit looked terrific. Also delighted that you're now getting comfortable showing bare shoulders.

[AprilR]

I've yet gone out full crossdress but I do have some ideas on how to dress. Depending on where I'm at I would like to dress my age and current style. During the day and going downtown maybe I would go for professional. Going to the store I would go as causal. And as for going to the park I'll go in a sporting outfit. Now I have gone to a few gay clubs, with an ex-girlfriend before, and I think it would be a moment like this that I may want to try "hookerish" as some may say. I think it's the one time you can let your self loss when going out. The one outfit I would love to dress up in while going on a night out is a pinup. But I may consult a few fiends on what to wear when going out for the first time.

[ClosetED]

When you are dressing for you as the audience, then dress what makes you feel happy. I don't dress for the public, and so I don't try to blend. I want to look pretty, in my mind. I have aged well, so I can get away with a bit of more youthful clothes. If you are preparing to go out and want to blend in, then you do need to consider what styles are being worn by those your age. There is still a range of the average woman compared to the very fashion conscious woman.
Hugs, Ellen

[pamela7]

While the wear-want-you-want crowd is somewhat vocal, I thought the "message" idea above was new and interesting. What "message" do you want to send? Are you dressed that way?
[/COLOR]

to quote Sigmund Freud, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" - sometimes we dress with a message (sharp suit, expensive watch, shiny shoes, serious tie, short hair, nice pen, leather briefcase, quality coat = mr busynessman), or (trousers, open-neck shirt, pen in top pocket, lab-book in hand = engineer), and other times we're just out enjoying ourselves and have no wish to send any messages at all.

The problem is, the clothing+hair defines the identity projected, and given our social stereotypes conclusions are made, so we're forced to conform to some extent or face potential consequences.

[Rhonda Jean]

Despite the protestations of some, there IS an age appropriate dress code and we all know it when we see it violated. And, just like pornography while we know it when we see it, the description is hard to put into a nicely packaged box.

For me, the violation of the rules it is simple and clear: when out in public, inappropriate age dressing is exactly the same as bad fashion. Of course, anyone can wear anything they like. The consequence is looking like a fool and having the general public deride you. No one has to care what others think. This applies to men and women. But, dressing appropriately, at any age, does NOT mean one must look frumpy. Well styled does NOT have an age requirement. Dressing inappropriately is just sad. One is not presenting the best of themselves

Jennifer,
Seems ridiculous to point out here, but there's also gender appropriate dressing that we all violate. Most people have more problem with that than age inappropriate. There are some on here who I thing pull it off extremely well. Samantha Rogers is HOT in a short dress, and there are certainly others. Right now, for me, I just don't have the motivation to be so "on" all the time (not to mention that little thing about not looking like I used to). One of these days I'm sure I'll be sufficiently motivated to dress inappropriate for any age! I've got a closet full of inappropriate stuff. It's just fun! And for a little while I can pretend that I, too, pull it off. Don't we all do that?