Old head on young shoulders

[xNicolex]

Ok so maybe not an old head on young shoulders that would look weird lol :heehee: But a wiser more experienced head most definitely. I have been ''out'' twice in the car late evening dressed up to pick my GF up from work but not out and about strutting it down the high street :o I guess what I want is, to just have the confidence to do it for real, go out and enjoy being me and not care about what everyone else thinks. I know I will have to go for it to gain experience but its so hard :sad: I just don't get it I was the lead singer in a band for years and I have sang in front of thousands of people over the years :battingeyelashes: People would occasionally say to me it takes guts to get up a sing in front of so many people, but that comes naturally to me. Which is why I can't understand why the other day when I planned on going to the cinema en femme I chickened out last minute?? :doh: I am so disappointed in myself :sad: I went out to look at some shoes with my GF the other day and she asked if I liked anything I saw and I thought someone nearby might hear us so I said no and changed the subject even though there was tons of stuff I liked :straightface: I know I'm very fortunate to have a supportive SO and I love her so very much, but I find it so hard to shake the fear of public ridicule. :sad: Sorry about my rant, some of you may read this and think back to your first time out or some may think I thinking about it too much. Either way I will be facing it in the new year rearing my high heels in excitement and terror :o but I will do it in the next few weeks and can't wait :daydreaming:

[Tracii G]

It takes a few times to get your mojo going but I'm sure you will.

[Jenniferathome]

Nicole, you re doing what probably we all did prior to entering the real world: over thinking.

The first time I went out where I'd have to interact with the real world, I did so with with two friends on this forum. My heart was racing when I was int he hotel getting ready. Something that works for me, regardless of the challenge, is telling myself I WILL do "it." Sky diving, cliff jumping, wakeboard stunts, it does't matter. 'I WILL DO IT." Then turn the handle on the door and head out. Your girlfriend is a great asset as women do tend to travel in pairs or more.

So, make a plan. Execute that plan. Asses that plan when you get home. It si so much easier to go out than you fear right now. And when you do go out, the first thing on your mind will be, "what was I worried about?"

Don't over think it. It's supposed to be fun. Good luck

[Amanda Monica]

Assuming your musical onstage "persona" differs from your day to day or private moments when you are not singing, perhaps framing it as a performance might help?

The first minute of the first time is the most difficult. Gets easier from there. Try not to overthink it. What's key is confidence. Without it, people nearby sense something is amiss. Assuming you dress appropriately for your age and the context, smile and you'll soon enjoy the experience.

[Dana44]

Yeah, try going out to the movies and wow, before the film ended last night. I had to relieve myself very bad. Ran out of the theater room and down the hall, there was a cop there. I asked him where the bathroom was. he pointed to the mens room down the hall. LOL I went and relieved myself and came back out. He said she is waiting patiently for you. LOL She said I did not look quite right to go to the ladies room. But had on my bra and red hairband and girly jeans in girly boots and very girly top. I wonder what that cop really thought. Anyways I posted this to say go for it and don't be afraid

[Kevyn53]

Nicol, I think I talked about this before. One of the things you and your SO could try is to go to another city where you can be sure nobody knows you. It's helped my nervousness about being out. We live in a town of about 35 people and travel 3 hours to a city where we're pretty sure we're not going to bump into anyone we know. Good luck, I know you can do this. If I can do it, anyone can.

[docrobbysherry]

I've been going out for years, Nicole. And, u actually DO get accustomed to the chuckles, snarky looks and comments, and overly politically correct SA's and servers.

But, I'll NEVER be comfortable out in vanilla land dressed. I wouldn't do it at all except it's the only/best way to socialize and party with other dressers!:hugs:

[Krisi]

I was also a well known performer for many years. This makes it more difficult because your face and body are known by so many more people than if you had been just a plumber or an electrician. I retired and moved hundreds of miles away but I still performed a bit before retiring.

You might want to try shopping or going out in a different town or city where people are less likely to know you. Also, if you're going out dressed, get a wig of a different color and style from your natural hair. Bangs make a big difference and hide much of the face. A pair of feminine glasses is another diversion.

The bottom line though is to plan what you're going to do and just do it. Like singing a new song for the first time in public. Or jumping into a swimming pool when you know the water is cold.

[Beverley Sims]

Nicole,
As you progress you will smile on all the fears you have now.

Have a great time in the coming year.